Afternoon naps and pencil shavings

Jalál (Glory), 16 ‘Aẓamat (Grandeur), 170 BE - Saturday, June 1 ,2013 about 4:40 PM Pacific Daylight Time

My afternoon nap dream...
pencil shaving in a cereal bowl
and a brown paper bag;
strangers
knocking at my door
with junk mail
they didn't want;
family members
coming and going
going and coming.

My afternoon nap dreams
become weirder and weirder
maybe I should
stop taking afternoon naps.

I need a break

‘Idál (Justice), 13 ‘Aẓamat (Grandeur), 170 BE - Wednesday, May 29, 2013 about 11:50 AM Pacific Daylight Time

I need to take a short break and fix myself something to eat. I spent the morning reviewing on writing.com, I am attempting to earn enough Gift Points to purchase another one-month premium membership. I suppose it would be easier if I purchased a years upgraded membership, but then I would have to remove several stories from my portfolio.

I am not as tired as yesterday at this time, but if I do not get me something to eat it will affect my performance later today and tomorrow. There was a time when I could work without worrying about whether or not I ate lunch. I could skip breakfast and lunch without it effecting my performance, but not anymore. Now I have to have at least two meals a day or I am wore out the next day.

I think I will fix me a a couple of grilled cheese sandwiches today.   I have not ate a grilled cheese this week and the cheese will give me energy. A grilled cheese sandwich is also filling, I know there are a lot of calories in this type of sandwich. I do not worry about calories any more and eat whatever I want in moderation. I believe moderation is the key to a good diet, as long as I do not eat too much of a food then I can eat whatever I want.

Monday Epiphany

Kamál (Perfection), 11 ‘Aẓamat (Grandeur), 170 BE - Monday, May 27, 2013 about 11:36 AM Pacific Daylight Time

The chocolate cake I baked yesterday is too big for just one person. I will be eating cake for a week and by the time Friday comes the cake will be dry. I will have to our coffee or milk on the cake so that I can eat it. I like having coffee with my cake, but I prefer to have a cup of coffee rather then the coffee poured over my cake.

All right, this is my own fault. When I bought the cake mix I did not think about the cooking for one issue.  It is difficult to cook for one person when you have spent most of your life cooking for two. However, I am going to have to learn to cook for one, especially when it comes to deserts like cake.

After thinking about this situation over breakfast, which was a slice of cake and a cup of coffee, I have decided to it is best for me to eat cake in a restaurant. In a restaurant I can order one slice of cake with ice cream and not have to worry about any leftovers. As much as I enjoy cooking a cake in a microwave, I will have to stop fixing cake at home.

I do not mind leftovers of pasta or other items, but cake is different. If I have leftover cake in the house I will eat too much and this means I cannot have cake or any type of desert (fruit excluded) for a month. Oh well, life always has something to teach and sometimes the lesson is one I teach myself.

Sunday epiphany

Jamál (Beauty), 10 ‘Aẓamat (Grandeur), 170 BE - Sunday, May 26, 2013 about 2:23 PM Pacific Daylight Time

I baked a chocolate cake in the microwave today. I mixed the cake according to the directions on the box and then put it into a microwavable casserole dish because I don't have anything else to use for cakes when I put them in the microwave. It took the cake nine minutes to bake and I'm waiting for it to cool enough to ice.

When I smelled the cake baking, I realized that I don't want to bake cakes any other way. The cake smelled the same as it would in a conventional oven, but I could smell the cake sooner in the microwave. I like baking cakes in microwaves, especially in summer when I don't want to use a regular oven. I also like baking in a microwave in winter because I don't have to wait as long for the item to bake.

microwavable
casserole dishes waiting
for me to make lunch

nine minutes to bake
a dark chocolate fudge cake
what more can I ask

I found the answer to Friday's problem

Jalál (Glory), 9 ‘Aẓamat (Grandeur), 170 BE - Saturday, May 25, 2013 about 9:17 AM Pacific Daylight Time

This morning I figured out what caused my stomach pain yesterday. The problem was caused by drinking coffee without eating anything all morning. I have a bad habit of not eating breakfast before 10:00 or 11:00 AM, which means that often I go out without any food in my stomach. I drink coffee, but I do not eat. On Friday, that is what caused the pain in my stomach.

I figured that out this morning because I drink a cup of coffee without eating anything. The pain in my stomach started again. After the pain started, I fixed myself a couple of eggs with buttered toast. Once I ate the pain went away. When I was younger things like this did not bother me, but now that I am over 60 it gives me problems.

This afternoon I will mix some powdered milk so that I can have cereal with my morning coffee. That should take care of part of the problem with my stomach. The only thing I have to figure out now concerns the specific food or foods that I eat which causes me issues. I suspect the culprit is foods that hove cooked tomatoes in them. Unfortunately, there is not very much I can do about that because I receive canned tomatoes and pasta sauce with my senior food allotment.

I can limit myself to one can of pasta sauce or diced tomatoes a week, but I cannot eliminate them all together. I can also add other ingredients to the pasta dishes to help dilute the pasta sauce. The last thing I can do is make sure I take the prescription for my stomach problems everyday. Taking all those steps will allow me to eat the foods I like without dealing with the pain that those foods cause. If the pain gets worse or occurs more then once every two or three months then I will have to talk to my doctor about other solutions or other problems.

Friday afternoon in Las Vegas

Istiqlál (Independence), 8 ‘Aẓamat (Grandeur), 170 BE - Friday, May 24, 2013 about 7:29 PM Pacific Time

I can't say this was a normal Friday afternoon because I spent most of it asleep on the couch. This morning I picked up a loaf of free day old bread and my senior food allotment and then came home. When I arrived back at the house, I put the milk and the cheese in the refrigerator, warmed up a cup of leftover coffee in the microwave, and then sit down at the computer to do some blog entries and other writing.

I opened two little packages of cookies to go with my coffee. I managed to complete the a blog entry in my writing.com blog before my stomach began hurting. My stomach does this every so often and the only thing I can do for it is say the Long Healing Prayer and lay down for a nap. I don't know why my stomach began hurting today because I have taken the medication everyday for  the past week. The problem is either something I eat or didn't eat.

I feel better now, but I doubt I can sleep tonight. Therefore, I will either do some housework or write. I could wash and dry a load of clothes while I'm writing. I could also pack up some of Mom's clothes to give away. The place I pick up free bread also gives away food and clothes, so I could take Mom's clothes to that place.

I have to pick up another loaf of bread next week sometimes, so I'll take a couple of bags of clothes when I go to pick up the bread. I have several other things to do next week as well and at least two of them are in the same direction as the place I pick up the free bread.

Change is in the Air

Istijlál (Majesty), 7 ‘Aẓamat (Grandeur), 170 BE - Thursday, May 23, 2013 about 10:41 AM Pacific Daylight Time

I don't know why I feel that change is in the air. Maybe I'm just tired of living in this house and I want to move as soon as I can find a place I can afford. Maybe it has to do with the dream I had about Mom yesterday or was it the day before. I'm not going to write the entire dream because I put it in my dream journal, Dreams of Snow, which I store in my writing.com port.

The more I think about the dream, the more I realize that it was telling me to let go of the past. I suspect there was more to the dream then simply telling me to let go. There were a couple of symbols in the dream that I didn't understand, but eventually I will figure out those symbols. I prefer to interpret my own dreams.

Sometimes I will look up the meaning of a dream symbol on the internet, but normally I like to do a timed free write about the symbol. Perhaps that's what I should do with the symbols I can't figure out in my last dream. The symbol that is bothering me the most was the antique gas stove. I can't figure out where the symbol came from and what it means.

Eventually figure out meaning of the stove. In the mean time, I will do my best to let go of the worry and the fear of the change that is occurring in my life. I'm looking forward to finding a new place and finishing some writing projects I have going. Maybe that's what the stove referred to the projects I've put on the back burner.

Late Afternoon in Las Vegas

Fiḍál (Grace), 5 ‘Aẓamat (Grandeur), 170 BE - Tuesday, May 21, 2013 about 7:15 PM Pacific Daylight Time

It's late afternoon in Las Vegas, the sky is partly cloudy and the wind is blowing. The high today was 94 degrees and the low tonight is supposed to be 70 degrees. I have had my afternoon nap, so I'm rested and ready for my evening at home.

partly cloudy sky
the wind caresses tree limbs
a nice desert day

As I look out the window, I see that my neighbors across the street have taken out their trash. Tomorrow is trash collection day in my neighborhood, so the trashcans have to be at the curb by 6:30 AM. Sometimes the garbage trucks pick up the trash close to 7:00 AM and sometimes they don't get to this street until afternoon. I will wait until morning to roll the trash to the curb.

The wind is still blowing in Las Vegas

Kamál (Perfection), 4 ‘Aẓamat (Grandeur), 170 BE - Monday, May 20, 2013 about 1:58 PM Pacific Time

The wind is still blowing in Las Vegas. It seems as if we have had more windy day  this month then normal; however, that may just me my opinion. I look out the living room window and watch the limbs of the olive tree across the street wave. The tree seems to be waving good-by to spring because we have begun encountering triple digit days.

triple digit days
cast warm shadows over May
the wind is blowing

I don't like getting out of the house on triple digit days, but often I have no other choice. I just checked the temperature for Las Vegas on weather.com. According to weather.com the temperature right now is 81 degrees, but it feels like 79 degrees; I guess that is because the wind is blowing. The high today is supposed to be 84 degrees. I like those temperatures better then the triple digit temperatures we've experienced for the past few days.

I like getting out of the house better in 80 degree temperatures rather then 100 degree temperatures. I think that's because the air in my car doesn't work properly. I usually plan my trips to the store and every place else in the morning or the evening. Sometime I have to get out during the hottest part of the day, but I don't like doing that.

Sunday Blessings

Jamál (Beauty), 3 ‘Aẓamat (Grandeur), 170 BE - Sunday, May 19, 2013 about 10:20 AM Pacific Time

It is a beautiful Sunday morning in Las Vegas. These are some of the blessings God granted me this morning

1. A cloudless blue sky
2. Wind blowing through the olive and oak trees
3. Bright sunshine casting dark shadows across the front yard
4. A fresh carafe of rich dark coffee
5. Birds singing when I went out to pick up the newspaper
6. Cold cuts and eggs in the refrigerator
7. Ice cubes in the freezer
8. A joyful mood
9. A talk with one of my brothers
10. The sound of jets flying overhead

Fifteen Minutes of Laughter

Istiqlál (Independence), 1 ‘Aẓamat (Grandeur), 170 BE - Friday, May 17, 2013 about 3:07 PM Pacific Time

I am in a blog competition at writing.com and the prompt for Friday always has something to do with humor. This morning the question was "Have you laughed today?" Since I planned to go to the grocery store, I thought I would get that entry written and posted early, but I had not laughed. As I was looking for something to make me laugh, I came across a YouTube video about a study concerning laughter and the heart.

According to the doctor on the video fifteen minutes of laughter a day is good for a person's heart. Apparently, laughter has something to do with opening up the blood vessels or something like that. I thought that was interesting, I also discovered something else while I was researching the entry. I found out that, at least with me, laughter is contagious.

I realized that laughter was contagious while I was watching a video (on YouTube) of someone laughing. I could not stop laughing while the person on the video was laughing. Since I find laughing contagious, I should not have any difficulty laughing for fifteen minutes a day as long a I watch a video of someone laughing; it is worth a try anyway.

Nature is Wonderful

Istijlál (Majesty), 19 Jamál (Beauty), 170 BE - Thursday, May 16, 2013 about 11:05 AM Pacific Time

Nature is wonderful. Nature is beautiful. The birds are singing and have been for several days. For the past week, a white butterfly has flitted past my living room window and through my yard. I think the butterfly is attracted to the weeds in my front yard. In addition, to these beautiful creatures, I saw a white dove fly past my window yesterday. It is a joy to wake up, look outside, or stand on my front porch and listen.

a white butterfly
is flitting from weed to weed
a nightingale sings

A Lonely Afternoon in Las Vegas

Fiḍál (Grace), 17 Jamál (Beauty), 170 BE - Tuesday, May 14, 2013 about 1:16 PM Pacific Time

Another lonely afternoon,
watching the wind blow through a neighbor's olive tree,
watching thin scattered clouds move across the blue sky,
and watching cars drive past.

Another lonely afternoon,
listening to the area fan blow
and feeling its cool air on my arms.

Another lonely afternoon,
missing my mother
and writing poetry.

Mother's Day 2013

Jamál (Beauty), 15 Jamál (Beauty), 170 BE - Sunday, May 12, 2013 about 1:05 PM Pacific Time

It is Mother's Day. It is my first Mother's Day without my mother. I visited her grave this morning and said a prayer for the departed. I miss Mama so much that I want to cry, but instead I write.

I looked down at Mama's headstone, it is a reddish stone with a rose engraved on one side. Mom's favorite color was red. Mom's favorite flowers were roses.

I looked down at Mama's headstone, I placed my purse on the ground and removed my prayer book. As I stood looking down, I read a prayer for the departed.

I looked down at Mama's headstone and I listened to the birds singing in the trees. Mama love to listen to the birds.

I looked down at Mama's headstone and I inhaled the fragrance of spring in the air. Mama like spring, she like listening to the birds sing in spring.

I looked down at Mama's headstone and I know she would like the spot where her bones rest.

Moving into the twenty-first century

Istiqlál (Independence), 13 Jamál (Beauty), 170 BE - Friday, May 10, 2013 about 2:25 PM Pacific Time

I finally did it, I finally deposited a check at the ATM outside my bank. I received a check through the mail yesterday, so this morning I went to the bank and ask one of the associates to assist me in the process. Depositing the check at the ATM is easy and I can receive a receipt with a picture of the check. The next time I will deposit the check myself without asking for assistance. I am moving into the twenty-first century.

After stopping at the bank, I went to the grocery story. I went through the self-checkout with assistance form on of the employees, but I think the next time I go to the grocery store I will do it by myself. If I do need help then there is an employee close by to ask assistance. Modern technology is wonder and I am moving into the twenty-first century.

Thankful Thursday: May 9, 2013

Istijlál (Majesty), 12 Jamál (Beauty), 170 BE - Thursday, May 9, 2013 about 9:33 AM Pacific Time

Today I am Thankful

1. for the zoom feature on my computer because I can increase the screen image from 100% to 125% to make the information easier to read
2. for he new look of writing.com  
3. for the rice dark coffee I brewed this morning
4. for the beautiful cloudy day we are experiencing in Las Vegas
5. that I have an electric clothes dryer because my towels are softer then when I dry them on the line or spread them over furniture
6. for the little bit of sleep I got last night, it took me two or three hours to go to sleep
7. that the people who pick up the trash finally picked up the limbs that were at the curb
8. for the sun that randomly shines through the cloud cover
9. for the chicken I have left in the refrigerator
10. that I got the trashcan rolled to the curb yesterday before trash collection time

Midweek Reflections: I need to get out of the house

‘Idál (Justice), 11 Jamál (Beauty), 170 BE - Wednesday, May 8, 2013 about 2:30 PM Pacific Time

I think I need to get out of the house for more the a few minutes at a time. I need to go somewhere besides to the garage. Last week I went out of the house twice, both times before I completely recovered from being ill. I am feeling better today, so tomorrow I will get out of the house and go to the store or the gas station.

Is it cabin fever?
I look at the clouds covering the sky,
I want to do something
besides house work.

I need to get out of the house more. I need to do something out of the ordinary, at least once a month. Perhaps I need to go out to eat, I have not been to a restaurant in two or three months. The only problems is deciding which restaurant I want to go for lunch or dinner. Maybe I will go out on Mother's Day, after I visit Mom's grave.

Thinking about Mother's Day

Fiḍál (Grace), 10 Jamál (Beauty), 170 BE - Tuesday, May 7, 2013 about 3:43 PM Pacific Time

All day I have watched the wind blow through the boughs of the trees in my neighborhood. All day I have watch the clouds gather in the sky. This afternoon it is mostly cloudy, with patches of blue sky showing through. Sunday is Mother's Day, the first Mother's Day I will spend without Mom. The first Mother's Day I will not have a gift for her.

All day I have watched the clouds and the wind. All day I have though about Mom and Mother's Day. I will go to the cemetery to visit her grave. I will take my prayer book and read a prayer for the departed. I will not put flowers on her grave because I do not have enough money to purchase her a bouquet  of her favorite flowers. I will say a prayer for the departed, but I cannot put a bouquet of red roses on her grave. How I would love to purchase a bouquet of roses for Mama for Mother's Day, but I do not have enough money in my bank account.

A Beautiful Partly Cloudy Day in Las Vegas

Kamál (Perfection), 9 Jamál (Beauty), 170 BE - Monday, May 6, 2013 about 2:00 PM Pacific Daylight Time

I suppose I could gripe, but not about the weather. It is a beautiful partly or mostly cloudy day in Las Vegas. I hear the echoes of thunder earlier; however, that does not mean it is going to rain. I might rain somewhere in Las Vegas, but not in my neighborhood. This is all right with me because I do not like to carry newspapers or anything else to the garage in the rain.

I was sick for five days out of seven last week, so I did not get the recyclables or the trash to the curb on Saturday. I did not get much of anything accomplished on Saturday except sleep. I did learn one thing about myself. I do not like being by myself when I am sick any more then I like dealing with other human beings when I am ill.  I know that sound strange but it is true.

When I am sick, I want a pet. Unfortunately, when I move I will probably move into a complex that does not allow pets because I cannot afford anything else. This entry sounds like it could become a rant and it is much to nice outside to gripe about anything.

A Beautiful Friday in Las Vegas

Istiqlál (Independence), 6 Jamál (Beauty), 170 BE - Friday, May 3, 2013 about 5:14 PM Pacific Daylight Time

It's Friday and the technician came to check the heat pump today. He turned on the cool air and set the thermostat to 83 degrees. I cannot stand to live in a house where the temperature gets higher the 83 degree or lower the 80 degrees. If the temperature is lower then 80, I will be cold all the time and I do not like feeling cold. I do not like shivering.

It's a beautiful day in Las Vegas. The sun is shining, the birds are singing or they were singing this morning. This afternoon the birds are silent. I do not hear them chirping or singing. I do not see them flying from tree to tree. Still it's a beautiful Friday in Las Vegas.

The reason I do not like being sick

‘Idál (Justice), 4 Jamál (Beauty), 170 BE - Wednesday, May 1, 2013 about 11:42 AM Pacific Daylight Time

April was National Poetry Month and I managed to write 28 poems. That was almost a poem a day, unfortunately because I was ill for about three days I missed two poems. I should not complain because despite being sick for three day, I managed to review enough items on writing.com so that I earned enough Gift Points to renew my premium membership for another month. My membership now expires on May 31, 2013.

The problems was my concentration, I could only concentrate for about an hour at a time before I started to fall asleep at the keyboard. It is not a good idea for me to fall asleep at my computer keyboard because I fall out of my chair when I drop off to sleep while working online. When I catch myself starting to doze off, I have to get up and go lay down on the couch for a short nap. When I am sick, my naps last for three or four hours at a time, which makes it difficult to get anything accomplished online.

I do not like being sick because it puts me behind on almost everything. I do not like being ill because it interferes with writing poetry or anything else. I missed two whole days of blog entries. I missed completing a poem a day during National Poetry Month. I missed my coffee because the only thing I wanted to drink was water. I missed meals because I could no eat more then three bites at a time. I missed doing laundry because I did not want to put clothes in the washer that would sit for a couple of day before I could dry them.

Sick for two or three days

Fiḍál (Grace), 3 Jamál (Beauty), 170 BE - Tuesday, April 30, 2013 about 10:50 AM Pacific Time

I was sick for two or was it three days, it really does not matter because I am now in recovery. The whole thing started with chills on the April 27. I checked the thermostat and it show 80 degrees. I realized then that the problem was not the house being cold, but that I was sick or coming down with something. The chills lasted until late Sunday or early Monday.

The only thing I wanted to drink for a couple of days was water. When I do not have a desire for coffee that means I am ill. I did not go to the Emergency Room or the Urgent Care because I did not feel I could drive myself safely and I did not think I was sick enough to go to the hospital. I attempted to eat something those days; however, I did not each much and, as a results, I am tired and weak today. I will fix me something to eat today and bake a batch of cornbread.

The only type of bread I have in the house is cornbread mix. I have to build up my strength and energy today because I have two meeting tomorrow. One of the meetings, a Grief Counseling Group, is at 4:00 PM on the East side of Las Vegas. The other meeting, is at 7:00 PM on the West side of Las Vegas. I hope to attend both meetings.

I am feeling better this morning

Jalál (Glory), 19 Jalál (Glory), 170 BE - Saturday, April 27, 2013 about 7:04 AM Pacific Time

Last night the temperature in the house rose to 82 degrees, but to me it felt like it was 69 or 70 degrees. I  had chills and possibly a fever; however, since I cannot find the thermometer I am not sure about the temperature. I was so cold that I took the wool blanket, which I intended to take to the storage unit and put it over me last night.

I was light headed, an indication that I could not drive myself to the Emergency Room. I did not call an ambulance because I  had no desire to chance clothes because I had no desire to get ready and wait for the Emergency Personnel, so I stayed home and covered up with my wool blanket. I feel better this morning, but I am still not up to driving any place today. I may change my mind later this afternoon, but for now I will remain in the house and attempt to get some work accomplished or at least take a nap.

Coffee Under Ordinary Conditions

Istiqlál (Independence), 18 Jalál (Glory), 170 BE - About 2:32 PM Pacific Daylight Time

A few months ago, one of my doctors ask "How much coffee do you drink a day?" I gave him my standard answer to this question "Under ordinary condition three cups." This is true, I make a full 12-cup carafe of coffee, but normally I only drink three cup that day. The next day I warm up the leftover coffee in the Microwave and drink three more cups. This way I only have to make fresh coffee once or twice a week.

The doctor did not ask me to define ordinary conditions, which is just as well. The reason, is that sometimes I drink four or five cups and, under rare conditions, the entire 12-cup carafe. Today is one of those rare conditions because I have already drank six cups and I will no doubt drink the other three cups before the day is over.

The reason for this over consumption of coffee is simple. I ran out of coffee last week and did not have to money to purchase more. This situation occurs every time I run out of coffee and am unable to purchase it for a week. I have decided the best way to prevent this situation is to purchase coffee on the third or fourth of every month whether I need it or not. That way I have a couple of containers stocked up in case I run short of cash.

Still working on downsizing

Istijlál (Majesty), 17 Jalál (Glory), 170 BE - Thursday, April 25, 2013 about 10:50 AM Pacific Daylight Time

I have six containers of quilt blocks and material pieces out of the house. I have one large empty trunk, which I am going to fill with books from my personal library. I have another large trunk in the dining room that I have to empty, but I do not know what it contains. I am sure it does not contain books because I removed the books in 2007 to store something else inside, but I do not remember what I stored.

I am not sure I will open that trunk today. I have to pull it away from the wall and my back is soar from pulling the trunk with the material into the entrance hall last night. However, my back is not the only  part of me that hurts from the exercise. My osteoarthritis is acting up today, so I think I will fix me something to eat and take one of my pain pills. That will help alleviate the pain, which will make packing the empty trunk I have a little easier.

Downsizing is a slow process, which is not helped by the pain in my back and my knees. It is nice to have the material out of the house. I still have a lot of things to remove, but I think posting on freecycle will make the process of downsizing easier.

The Procress of De-cluttering

‘Idál (Justice), 16 Jalál (Glory), 170 BE - Wednesday, April 24, 2013 about 1:22 PM Pacific Time

It is difficult to let go. It is difficult to de-clutter. The process of de-cluttering is part of the process of letting go. It is acceptance that life has changed, it is part of the mourning process. My mother had two large containers of material and quilt blocks or material scraps she intended to use to make quilts. She never did get around to making quilts with them. Since I have no intention of making any quilts, I decided to give them away.

I posted the items on Freecycle, I received responses, and I contacted one of the respondents. The person will pick the material up tomorrow morning. I feel so much better now that I have the process of de-cluttering started. I still have several other items to give away, which I will do over the next couple of week. Mom's clothes I will give to local charities, while other things I will post on Freecycle because I am sure someone will want them.

I feel much better now that I have decided to give away some of Mom's craft items. There are other to give away or for me to take with me and finish. I have not decided if I want to keep the items Mom was going to paint (fabric paint) or not. I have to do some research to see if I can afford to purchase the paints or not. I suspect some of Mom's paints are so old that I cannot use them; I'll have to try them out and see.

Earth Day: The Faces of Climate Change

Kamál (Perfection), 14 Jalál (Glory), 170 BE - Monday, April 22, 2013 about 2:47 PM Pacific Daylight Time

Everywhere I look,
I see the faces of climate change.

I see the faces of climate change,
in scorched fields
waiting for rain that will never come.

I see the faces of climate change,
in the eyes of mothers
wondering where they will find food
for their starving children.

I see the faces of climate change,
in dust clouds
of fertile topsoil
blowing across once prosperous
farm land.

I see the faces of climate change,
in the faces of animals
searching for green
in the middle of brown and dying
meadow.

Everywhere I look,
I see the faces of climate change.

The First Day of Ridvan

Jamál (Beauty), 13 Jalál (Glory), 170 BE - Sunday, April 21, 2013 about 9:05 AM Pacific Daylight Time

It is April 21, the First Day of Ridvan. It is a Holy Day celebrating the Declaration of Bahá’u’lláh. The celebration begin on the evening of Saturday, April 20, at the Baha'i Center. I attended the celebration last night and was so excited that I could not sleep after I returned home. I finally got to sleep sometime this morning and then the alarm woke me up at 4:00 AM so that I could take my thyroid medication.

I turned the alarm off, took my medication, and went back to sleep, but I got up again about 6:00 AM. That time I got up permanently because there was no use going back to sleep. After I got up, I checked the chicken in the refrigerator to see it it was thawed so that I could cook a couple of pieces. I have the leg and thy sections cooking now.

There is something going on at the Baha'i Center this afternoon. I think I will attend, I missed going to Holy Day celebrations and the nineteen-day feast while I was taking care of Mom. I can begin going back to those things now. I know I have a lot of stuff to do here at the house; however, take a break for spiritual matters will energize me to get more accomplished at home.

Positive or Negative Friday

Istiqlál (Independence), 11 Jalál (Glory), 170 BE - Friday, April 19, 2013 about 7:52 AM Pacific Daylight Time

It's Friday morning and I'm attempting to keep the positive attitude I had when I woke up. The blues hit me suddenly like someone lowering a shade in a room. I don't think there is any reason for me to be depressed today. Thursday was a good day, it was a productive day.

On Thursday I completed a 500 plus essay and a 1000 plus short story. I submitted both items before the 8:59 PM Pacific Time Deadline. I picked up my April senior food allotment and received a wonderful surprise. I was given a frozen cut up whole chicken, the chicken remained frozen on the drive home, and I was able to put it in my freezer. I also picked up a free loaf of day old bread, so I can have grilled cheese sandwiches or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches this weekend.

I suppose there are some negatives, I ran out of coffee yesterday, but I still have a lot of tea bags in the house. I enjoy tea, perhaps not as much as coffee, but it will do in a pinch. I could be a bit depressed at the thought of not having coffee; however, I haven't been without it even twenty-four hours. I don't think lack of caffeine is the reason for my slight depression.

I'm not going to worry about the reason now because the depression has passed. My depression always passes when I sit down to write about it. I think it is the positive activity of writing and helps lighten my mind.

Thankful Thursday: April 18, 2013

Istijlál (Majesty), 10 Jalál (Glory), 170 BE - Thursday, April 18, 2013 about 6:57 PM Pacific Daylight Time

Today I am thankful for

1. The loaf of free day old bread I received today
2. The jar of peanut butter I received with my senior food allotment today
3. The frozen whole cut up chicken I received with my senior food allotment today
4. The jug of cold grape juice I have in the refrigerator
5. Grilled cheese sandwiches
6. The 2% carton of milk I received today
7. The jar of grape jelly I have in the refrigerator
8. The cool weather we have had in Las Vegas lately
9. My new senior citizens cell phone
10. The prayers revealed by Baha'u'llah

Midweek Reflections on Surveys

‘Idál (Justice), 9 Jalál (Glory), 170 BE - Wednesday, April 17, 2013 about 1:30 PM Pacific Daylight Time

I do surveys in my spare time. I used to do a lot more then I do today, so on Monday I decided to increase the amount I was doing. This morning I was doing surveys and realized that while I enjoy doing a few I do have fun when I do a great deal of them. Therefore, I am unsubscribing to some of the survey groups. I am not sure how many I will exit.

I have already decided on one group to exit, which I will do after I finish this post. I know my response to surveys help businesses and I enjoy responding to the surveys. The problems belonging to so many groups. I joined most of the groups five or ten years ago and I have changed. I want to do something else besides surveys therefore I will limit the amount of surveys I do and my group memberships.

I find that I enjoy writing more then I enjoy answer surveys. I am going to focus more on writing then doing surveys. I find writing a poem fun and challenging. I think that is what I like best about writing the challenge and the feeling after I complete a poem or a short story.

The heat and the cool air are off

Fiḍál (Grace), 8 Jalál (Glory), 170 BE - Tuesday, April 16, 2013 about 3:50 PM Pacific Daylight Time

I turn the air unit off sometime the last of March or the first of April, I am not precisely sure when I turned it off. The highest temperature has gotten outside is about 88 degrees and the temperature in the house on that day rose to 80 degrees. I think that was last Wednesday or Thursday, this week I think the temperatures were lower.

I hope I can keep the unit off until at least the end of April. I would like to keep it off all through May, but I am not sure that is possible. I will have to listen to the weather forecast closer in May because that is when we begin getting triple digit days here in Las Vegas. I am not looking forward to using air conditioning this summer because of the power bills. I simply cannot afford them any more, so I have to get out of this house as soon as possible.

The problem with moving is finding a place I can afford. There are a lot of senior apartments that I like, but cannot afford. Apparently, everyone thinks if you are a senior citizen you have plenty of money. This is not true, at least in my case. I am going to have to move before it gets too hot here in Las Vegas.

A Hazy Day in Las Vegas

Kamál (Perfection), 7 Jalál (Glory), 170 BE - Monday, April 15, 2013 about 6:20 PM Pacific Daylight Time

The sky is hazy because the wind has blown all day. It is so hazy that I cannot see the blue sky. The wind is still blowing perhaps not as hard as earlier today, but enough to prevent anyone with dust allergies from going outside.

When I listen to the weather earlier they said to expect wind tomorrow. The meteorologist also suggest it may rain, which is all right with me as long as it waits until after I get home or rains before I leave the house. I did not intend to go out tomorrow, but I have to fax one or two papers back east.

A sleepy Sunday Afternoon

Jamál (Beauty), 6 Jalál (Glory), 170 BE - Sunday, April 14, 2013 about 5:45 PM Pacific Daylight Time

I keep yawning. I'm so sleepy that I want to lay my head on the computer keyboard and go to sleep. I don't know what's wrong because I took a nap about 12:30 PM.  I've finished the coffee leftover from yesterday, so the only thing left to drink is the grape juice in the refrigerator, hot tea, or water.  I think the only tea I have in the house is decaffeinated tea or herb tea. I don't think that is going to keep me awake.

Perhaps, I should just give up and take a nap. When I wake up I can finish printing off the items I need for tomorrow. I'm too sleepy to focus on anything except a nap. I will be so glad when I find an apartment and can purchase a bed. Sleeping on the couch is less painful then on my mattress, but I don't think I'm getting the proper amount of sleep. Maybe being sleepy has more to do with resting then the proper amount of sleep.

I haven't had any dreams I could remember for a couple of weeks. I rest better when I remember my dreams, even if those dreams are confusing. I think I will close this entry, turn off the television, and lay down for another nap. At least, I will after putting the spaghetti I made for lunch in the refrigerator.

Thoughts about my Medication

Istiqlál (Independence), 4 Jalál (Glory), 170 BE - Friday, April 12, 2013 about 8:45 AM Pacific Daylight Time

I found two empty pillboxes today, one is clear so that I can see the tablets I put in and the other is white and I have to open each compartment to see what medication I put inside. The clear box I use for my morning medication and the other I use for my evening prescriptions. My doctor also wants me to take some vitamins or rather minerals for my knees, I believe I need another pillbox for those.

It is easier to remember to take my medication if I have them in pillboxes rather then the prescription bottles. If the tablets are in the daily compartments in the pillboxes then I can look to make sure I took that day's prescription. If I leave all the pills in the bottles then sometimes I forget to take the pills at the proper time or I think I took a pill when I forgot.

I found two of Mom's pillboxes, so I do not have to buy new ones for my vitamins or minerals. I washed the two that belonged to Mom out and when they dry I will put the vitamins and minerals in them. That way, I can carry them with me in my purse so that I can take them if I eat out. If I do not eat out, then I can put the pillboxes close to where I eat and I can remember to take them with my meal.

Is my problem dust or seasonal allergies?

Istijlál (Majesty), 3 Jalál (Glory), 170 BE - Thursday, April 11, 2013 about 5:35 PM Pacific Daylight Time

It's spring and my sinuses are clogged. Of course, I don't have either tissues or medication in the house. At least, I don't think I have any allergy medication in the house. I can't find any in the medicine cabinet or on the coffee table. I'll check in Mom's room or rather the master bedroom to see if I took the bottle in there.

My sinuses weren't clogged until I took everything out of the hall closet, so it could be dust. I still need an over-the-counter allergy medication to take care of it. Unfortunately, purchasing that medication is out of the question for a while. I'm so short on funds that I can't purchase anything until the end of the month.

Having the brakes on the car fixed this month put me in a bind, but they had to be fixed. My Kia is easy on gas, but I still have to be careful how much I drive. At this point, I have exactly $0.09 in pennies, so I can't purchase either tissues or allergy medication. I don't remember taking all the allergy medication; perhaps I can find it somewhere in this house.

Weary Wednesday: Why am I tired today?

‘Idál (Justice), 2 Jalál (Glory), 170 BE - Wednesday, April 10, 2013 about 12:45 PM Pacific Daylight Time

I'm tired and sleepy today, but I'm not sure why. I got as much sleep last night as ever, I woke up every hour on the half hour until the alarm went off. I'm not sure why I set an alarm because I would have woke up at 4:30 AM  without an alarm. Not only am I tired, but for some reason the day is passing slowly and seems extremely long.

I should be used to daylight savings time by now. Apparently, I'm not because the day seems long. I cannot believe it is just 12:45 PM because it seems as if it should be later then that. I shouldn't gripe, the longer the day the more I will accomplish. At least that is the theory; however, theories work better as theories then in real life.

The problem is that when I lay down to take a nap I can't go to sleep. There is no use laying in bed if I can't sleep. I didn't take one of my meds yesterday, so that could be the reason I'm tired. In addition, I didn't eat before I left the house on Tuesday. That could be another reason I'm tired.

I'll have to mix some dry milk so I have something to put on my cereal. That way I can eat something before I leave the house, which I'll have to do either on Thursday or Friday. I'll see if eating before I go out to do business helps.

Learning to use my new cell phone

Fiḍál (Grace), 1 Jalál (Glory), 170 BE - Tuesday, April 9, 2013 about 8:55 AM Pacific Daylight Time

I attended the Feast of Glory last night. The host called me to let me know the Feast was scheduled for 7:30 PM instead of 7:00 PM and I realized I had not given him my new phone number. I give the host my new number last night, but this morning I have to call the Baha'i Center to make sure I e-mailed to the Center.

This morning, I am putting my contacts into the new phone. This is a long process because I have thirty or thirty-five contact in the phone's memory. I am not going to put all of them in the new phone because I no longer need to contact people who cared for Mom. Even without transferring all of them it is still a long process.

There is one number, in the old phone that I did not save with a name. I do not remember why the number is in the phone without a name. I know I had a reason at the time I put it in, but I do not remember when or why. I suspect I presumed that I would be able to remember the name and the reason I kept the number. I am not sure whether to call the number to find out who it belongs to or just drop it from my list. I know that from now on I will put names or at least initials with the number I put in my phone's memory.

The Second Monday in April

Kamál (Perfection), 19 Bahá (Splendor), 170 BE - Monday, April 8, 2013 about 2:25 PM Pacific Daylight Time

April is passing swiftly. It is the second week and I feel rushed. I feel as if I have not accomplished anything, but that is not true. I washed the dishes and a load of clothes this morning. This afternoon, even though it is cloudy and rainy in Las Vegas, I washed my hair. Normally I do not like washing my hair on a rainy day because it takes so long to dry. I do not use a blow dryer, I have one, it is in the car.

When I put the blow dryer in the car, I intended to put it in the storage unit; however, I changed my mind because I thought I might use it. I guess I should bring it into the house, the problem is that I do not like to use a blow dryer. I would rather let my hair dry naturally then damage it with the hot air from the dryer.

The beginning of the Second Week in April 2013

Jamál (Beauty), 18 Bahá (Splendor), 170 BE - Sunday, April 7, 2013 about 8:10 AM Pacific Daylight Time

It is the beginning of the second week in April 2013 and a beautiful day in Las Vegas. The beginning of a new week is always a joyous occasion because the next six day have so much potential for achievement. I have a great deal to accomplish this week because I want to take some items to the storage unit.

Now that the car is safe to drive I can load it with more items. I still do not know how I am going to get the dining room table to the storage unit because it will not fit in the car. I cannot hire a truck this month because my budget is tight. I am still not sure how I am going to pay for the prescription  I have to purchase on Tuesday. I have enough of the tablets to last  until Tuesday and since I cannot skip a dose, I need to turn the prescription in on Monday so that I can pick it up on Tuesday.

I have enough in my checking account to cover the items scheduled to come out this month. Having the car fixed on Friday put a dent in my budget, but it could not be helped. Now the car is safe to drive, but that does not help my April budget. I will have to find the money somewhere because I need the prescription.

Recyclable Saturday: Learning to accept my physical limitation

Jalál (Glory), 17 Bahá (Splendor), 170 BE - Saturday, April 6, 2013 about 2:25 PM Pacific Daylight Time

This is recyclable day in my neighborhood. This morning I carried three recyclable bins to the curb. Because I missed taking the recyclables out two weeks ago, I had two containers of newspapers. Those were the heaviest and after I finished lugging them to to curb the osteoarthritis in my knees began acting up. I ignored the pain and carried the recyclable bin containing cans and plastic items.

After I came back into the house, I had to fix something to eat so that I could take a pain pill. I take prescription pain medication and I cannot take the tablets without eating. The pain has subsided, but I am stiff and it is difficult to walk. I think I had better start accepting my physical limitations, but I do not want to give up recycling. I take out the recyclables again in two weeks, but I will not have as many newspapers.

The First Friday in April

Istiqlál (Independence), 16 Bahá (Splendor), 170 BE - Friday, April 5, 2013 about 6:10 PM Pacific Daylight Time

It is the first Friday in April, I spent the morning in my mechanic's reception area because of the breaks and a loose bolt in the wheels. I can now drive my car safely, the problem is that I cannot afford go anywhere. I am a little concerned because I just checked my bank account and found out that I may have miscalculated. It is possible I do not have a problem because I have some aluminum cans to sell and some money in the savings I can transfer to the checking account.

I had planned to wait until Monday to sell the cans, but I think I will sell them on Saturday morning. I can sell the aluminum cans and then get to the bank before it closes at 1:00 PM. Since the money I have to deposit I have to go into the bank because the ATM will not accept change. However, that is all right because it will encourage me to get up when the alarm sounds rather then lying in bed.

It is the first Friday in April, I have to stay home the rest of the month because I cannot afford to go out. This could be a good thing, I may be able to get more accomplished around the house. The only issue about staying home is figuring out a menu. I may be eating macaroni and cheese for the rest of the month. That could be a good thing, at least cheese is protein. I guess I could make grilled cheese sandwiches with the bread I have.

A Mudgy Memory

‘Idál (Justice), 14 Bahá (Splendor), 170 BE - Wednesday, April 3, 2013 about 5:35 AM Pacific Daylight Time

I am reading The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion. In Chapter 11, Ms Didion writes about her daughter, Quintana, using the word mudgy to refer to her sketchy memory about her stay in a hospital. The word Quintana meant was smudgy, as I was reading I realized that mudgy was a good description of some of my memory issues.

Since November 29, 2012, I have dealt with mudgy memories, memories that seemed to be missing pieces that should be there. I think back to the day, weeks, and months before Mom passed. I try to determine if I encountered the same issues then, but I don't think I did. I think the missing memory sections began after Mom passed.

I am frightened! Mom had Alzheimer's disease and I am afraid that the memory issues may be more the simply the stress of Mom's passing. I am afraid that the memory issues may be a sign of the disease that took Mom's memory. I hope and I pray that my mudgy memory is just a sign of stress and that once I have learned to deal with the stress issues my memory will be back to normal.

Overcome the morning blues

Fiḍál (Grace), 13 Bahá (Splendor), 170 BE - Tuesday, April 2, 2013 about 10:20 AM Pacific Daylight Time

I have finally overcome the morning blues; however, it took a bit of work this morning. After saying my morning prayers, reading a scripture verse, composing entries for my writing.com blog, and making an entry in my offline journal I am over the blues. In fact, the rest of the day looks bright.

I still have to fold the towels when I take them out of the dryer. I also have to decide what I am going to eat for the week. I do not have any meat in the house, I think I will make some macaroni or perhaps spaghetti. I still have three cans of spaghetti sauce in the pantry. I also have cheese in the refrigerator, so I could make macaroni and cheese.

The macaroni and cheese sounds better then the spaghetti. I had spaghetti twice last week, perhaps something a bit different this week. I can mix a can of green beans with the macaroni and fix another batch of cornbread. Right now the only type of bread in the house is cornbread; this way I have to fix macaroni and cheese rather then a grilled cheese sandwich.

It is going to be a good day. I have overcome the morning blues. I have the ingredients for my favorite food, macaroni and cheese, in the house. I have a half-empty trashcan in the garage so I can clean out the refrigerator this afternoon.

Insomnia on April Fools Day

Kamál (Perfection), 12 Bahá (Splendor), 170 BE - Monday, April 1, 2013 about 1:05 AM Pacific Daylight Time

It is after midnight on Monday, April 1, 2013 and I cannot sleep. I have insomnia on April Fools Day. For the past two or three hours I have attempted to sleep without any luck. Since I cannot sleep, I may as well bet sitting at the computer, at least here I can accomplish something even if it is only a blog entry.

For two hours I have listened to the wind blow. I heard something rattling on the cement outside my house, so I got up and looked out the door. The wind was blowing an aluminum can across my driveway. I think it was a can, but it could have been some other piece of trash. I did not go outside to see what it was, all I saw was something white blowing across my driveway.

After I decided the aluminum can noise was not something dangerous, I went back to bed and attempted to go to sleep. No luck. I am awake. I cannot go back to sleep. Therefore, I have to do something else to fill the time. I could do dishes. I could do laundry. I could read. I could sit on the couch and watch television. Since I have a writing deadline approaching, I will post this blog entry and then work on the poem I need to finish by April 3.

March: A lion or a lamb?

Jamál (Beauty), 11 Bahá (Splendor), 170 BE - Sunday, March 31, 2013 about 3:05 PM Pacific Daylight Time

The wind is blowing this afternoon, but it is not roaring. March is not going out like a lion nor did it come in like a lion. March came in more like a disgruntled sheep then anything else. All month, the weather in Las Vegas has range from cool to nice; it never got too hot or too cold.

The wind blew, but not so bad that it knocked down trees . The wind blew hard enough to scatter trash along the side of the road, but not so hard as to get plastic trash bags caught in trees or oleander bushes. There were clouds, there was a bit of rain (at least, I remember finding a puddle in my driveway one morning).

All month the birds have sung and flitted from tree to tree. I just looked out my living room window and saw two bird flying across the sky. There is also a cloud that looks like a skeleton walking across the sky. That is the only clouds I see this afternoon. There is a strong breeze blowing because I see the limbs on the olive trees and pine tree waving. It is a nice day in Las Vegas.

The Last Saturday in March 2013

Jalál (Glory), 10 Bahá (Splendor), 170 BE - Saturday, March 30, 2013 about 5:50 PM Pacific Daylight Time

On the last Saturday in March,
the skies are partly cloudy
and the birds are singing in Las Vegas.

On the last Saturday in March,
the high temperatures are in the low 80s,
with low temperatures in the 60s.

On the Last Saturday in March,
the sun descends toward the west
while Las Vegas waits for Easter Sunday dawn.

A warm spring day in Las Vegas

Istiqlál (Independence), 9 Bahá (Splendor), 170 BE - Friday, March 29, 2013 about 6:25 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time

birds singing all day
a chilly morning becomes
a warm afternoon

This morning it was a bit chilly, without any clouds. This afternoon it warmed up and now the clouds are rolling in. After it warmed up, I went to the store to purchase a couple of things. I bought a chocolate bunny and some personal items. When I came home the car began making the odd noise again.

I am not sure what the problem is because it only makes the noise after I have driven the car for a while. I did not notice how long after I begin driving that the noise begins. It sort of sounds like metal on metal; unfortunately I will not have any money to take it to the mechanic until after April 3; however, I will call my mechanic on Monday to see what he says. I will avoid driving it this weekend and do stuff around the house.

on a warm spring day
it is nice to work at home
listening to birds

Midweek Reflections: Sleeping on the Couch

‘Idál (Justice), 7 Bahá (Splendor), 170 B.E. - Wednesday, March 27, 2013 about 10:55 A.M. Pacific Daylight Time

To say that I am tired of sleeping on the couch is an understatement. The problem is that I cannon sleep on any bed in this house and get a pain free and good nights sleep. I know the problem is the mattress, but I am not sure why I have some much pain when I sleep on them. It is possible they are too hard because I know they are not too soft.

I can eat before I go to bed and take a pain pill, but that does not help when I sleep in on the mattresses. I am (as I think I have written before) in less pain when I sleep on the couch or the love seat then in a bed. I am planning on moving out of this house sometime this year, so I am going to wait until after I move to get a new bedroom set or at least a new bed.

Even sleeping on the couch I do not get a good nights sleep, I am in less pain so the sleep is more restful. However, I usually wake up two or three times during the night, which does not encourage a good nights sleep. The only thing I can do about waking up two or three times is to change my bedtime and go to bed later. That helps most of the time, but not all the time. There are still some nights when I wake up every hour.

The longest journey begins with a single step

Fiḍál (Grace), 6 Bahá (Splendor), 170 BE - Tuesday, March 26, 2013 about 1:30 PM Pacific Daylight Time

They say that the longest journey begins with a single step, so I begin the journey of improving my credit today. I joined Credit Karma. I found out my credit score, while the score was scary it was not as scary as not knowing. Now that I know my score, I can take steps to improve it. Joining Credit Karma is free and sign up is easy.

After I signed up, I kept a note of my log-in, password, security question, and the answer. There was a time when I thought I could remember all those things, but I have to admit that my memory may not be as good as I thought. I can to this conclusion because the last time I signed into my bank account, on a different computer then I normally use, the website ask me my security question. I panicked when I had difficulty remember it, I did not forget the answer I just forgot how I spelled it. It took me a couple of second to remember. Therefore, from now on I keep a hand written copy of my answers.

Celebrating Naw-Ruz

Istijlál (Majesty), 1 Bahá (Splendor), 170 BE - Thursday, March 21, 2013 about 2:10 PM Pacific Daylight Time

I went to the Naw-Ruz celebration last night at the Baha'i Center in Las Vegas. The first person I thought about when I walked in the door was my mother. Mom always enjoyed Naw-Ruz celebrations. When ever Mom and I went to a celebration, Mom always smiled because she was so happy. I enjoyed the celebration, I know Mom would have enjoyed the celebration this year as she as well.

I know that I will never be able to attend a Holy Day celebration or a nineteen-day Feast without think of my Mother. I am amazed at how many memories of the Feast and Holy Day celebrations are center around Mom. I became a Baha'i several years before Mom declared, but the ones I remember best are those that Mom and I attended together.

I cried last night because I missed Mom. I will cry at other Holy Day celebrations and Feast because I miss Mom. I will continue to attend because eventually the tears will stop and all I will remember are the good times Mom and I had together.

Why am I worried?

Kamál (Perfection), 17 ‘Alá’ (Loftiness), 169 BE - Monday, March 18, 2013 about 10:30 AM Pacific Time

Why am I worried? I think I did everything I could, so now I just have to wait for the agency I contacted to call me, but I am still worried. Why am I worried? I am worried because of the electric bill. Specifically, I am worried about the power company turning off the electricity.

I contacted the proper agency, which help senior citizens with these problems. No one has gotten back to me yet; however, it may be that they still need to process my information. I hope they get back to me before March 21 because that is the deadline to pay t he bill. I put the request in online (which is the only way those request are taken). I returned the e-mail application the agency sent me and now I am waiting for a phone call to let me know when my appointment is scheduled.

I know I should have contacted the agency earlier; however, I did not, so I just have to deal with the consequences of my actions and of being financially poor. In the mean time, I cannot focus on the worry because it will hide any other actions I can take. In addition, I will work online while I still have electricity and an internet connection. I will also pray, because prayer will assist in finding any other solution available.

To nap or not to nap that is the question

Istiqlál (Independence), 14 ‘Alá’ (Loftiness), 169 B.E. - Friday, March 15, 2013 about 12:40 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time

Today I got sleepy about 12:30 P.M. The same thing happened yesterday as well. I should take a nap, but if I doze I will not get anything accomplished this afternoon. I have too much to do to take a nap, at least a long nap. I might attempt a short one, the problem with afternoon naps is that they last longer then expected.

I could have another cup of coffee, it might or might not wake me up. I know coffee does not prevent me from going to sleep at night. Even if I drink a cup before I lay down it does not keep me awake. I have some grape juice in the refrigerator, which might keep me awake. Sugar will keep me awake before black coffee. I am not going to put sugar in my coffee, but I could try some chocolate in a cup.

To nap or not to nap, that is the question (sorry Shakespeare). Do I want take the chance of over napping? I am not sure a nap would help and it would cut down on the amount of work I accomplished this afternoon. Maybe I will just sit on the couch with my prayer book and meditate rather then take a nap. That way if I go to sleep, at least I will have accomplished something.

Reflections on the Season: Spring

‘Idál (Justice), 12 ‘Alá’ (Loftiness), 169 B.E. - Wednesday, March 13, 2013 about 1:30 P.M. Pacific Time

The temperature is warmer, birds are singing, and trees growing leaves; at last, it is spring. I turned the thermostat down to 66 degrees a couple of days ago. The heat has not came on since I turned down the thermostat, so I think about Saturday or Sunday, if the heat does not come on again, I will turn the unit off entirely. There is no use it being on since the days are so nice here in Las Vegas.

I think I will plan a picnic for this weekend, I only have one appointment on Saturday and I can call to council it. The weather is too nice to remain in the house for long periods of time. True, I have a lot to do around the house; however, I am getting the urge to go on a picnic. I also want to visit Mom's grave and see how the cemetery looks in the spring. I know how it looks in the winter because Mom's funeral was in early December.

Mom always liked spring and picnics. She enjoyed listening to  the birds sing, watching the people in the park, and interacting with friends. Mom's 92nd birthday is March 19; maybe I will go to the cemetery that day.

Getting used to the time change

Fiḍál (Grace), 11 ‘Alá’ (Loftiness), 169 B.E. - Tuesday, March 12, 2013 about Sunset Pacific Daylight Time

Daylight Savings Time went into effect on Sunday, March 10, at 2:00 A.M. I am still getting used to the time change. It takes me about five or six days to get used to Daylight Savings Time because my internal clock thinks it should be earlier then what the time on my cell phone or computer shows.

I do not wear a watch anymore. I have not worn one since 2010, the watch I did have I gave to my mother when I bought the cell phone. Mom put the watch away somewhere and I have not been able to find it. I suppose by now the watch battery has corroded and when I do find it, if I find it, I will have to throw the watch away. Oh well, I am not going to worry about that because I may never find the watch.

I use the clock on my cell phone, which has its advantages and disadvantages. I cannot look at the time when I am driving, so I cannot worry whether the traffic is going to make me late for an appointment. When I drive, I  put my cell phone in my purse so I cannot  answer it when it rings. In the car my purse usually set on the floor of the passenger side and it is too far for me to reach to pick it up.

Feeling better on a lazy Sunday

Jamál (Beauty), 9 ‘Alá’ (Loftiness) - Sunday, March 10, 2013 about 1:15 P.M. Pacific Time

It is Sunday afternoon and I am feeling better then I felt this morning or yesterday. I was in a mental fog all day Saturday, I was depressed and did not accomplish much. This afternoon, the fog has lifted; the problem is that I do not know what caused the problem.  All though, it could be the fact that I am still in mourning for my mother.

I miss Mom so much and now that spring is arriving the feeling has increased. Mom's 92nd birthday will be March 19. I suspect that is the problem, I cannot celebrate it with her this year and I am not sure how I am going to celebrate the day or her life. The are certain days and seasons that seem to affect me more then others.

Spring was Mom's favorite season. Mom liked the sunshine, the flowers, and the warmer temperatures. Mom enjoyed going out to eat on her birthday. Mom enjoyed going to poetry readings, the nineteen-day Feasts, and Holy Day commemorations. Mom enjoyed getting in the car and riding around Las Vegas.

As I said, I am feeling better and the mental fog that concealed yesterday and this morning is gone. I want to cry and I want to eat strawberry pie. Strawberry pie was Mom's favorite desert. Mom also liked fried ice cream. I should eat one of Mom's favorite deserts on her birthday and then visit her grave.

The sound of rain in Las Vegas

Istiqlál (Independence), 7 ‘Alá’ (Loftiness), 169 B.E. - Friday, March 8, 2013 about 1:55 P.M. Pacific Time

It is raining in Las Vegas and it has been raining off and on all day. I was in the kitchen washing dishes and I heard a strange noise that sounded like water dripping. I checked under the sink to see if the pipes has sprung a leak, but that was not the problem. The sound I heard was rain hitting the roof of the patio, I had to laugh. It has been so long since we had a good rainstorm in Las Vegas that I forgot what water sounded like dripping of the patio roof.

the sound of raindrops
dripping off the metal roof
of the patio

Thankful Thursday: March 7, 2013

Istijlál (Majesty), 6 ‘Alá’ (Loftiness), 169 B.E. - Thursday, March 7, 2013 about 3:52 P.M. Pacific

Time Today I am thankful

1. that I was able to purchase The Year Of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion
2. that I was able to purchase a used clothes dryer because now the clothes are dried the same day I wash them
3. that I went to my grief counseling meeting last night
4. that I was able to pick up a free loaf of day old bread today
5. that I have a space heater to warm up the bathroom before I take a shower
6. that I had enough leftover coffee to warm up in the microwave today
7. that I have a copy of The Mourner's Bill of Rights
8. that it is not snowing here in Las Vegas
9. that the birds were singing this morning
10. that I found a box of light bulbs in the cupboard

Haibun-Haiku Tuesday: March in Las Vegas

Fiḍál (Grace), 4 ‘Alá’ (Loftiness), 169 B.E. - Tuesday, March 5, 2013 about 8:35 A.M. Pacific Time

scattered morning clouds
white ghost in a pale blue sky
birds and bright sunshine

March in Las Vegas is normally a pleasant time of year because the temperatures are not too warm or too cold. Sometimes there are strong, tree felling winds, but not this year. This year the winds are gently, leaf combing winds. March did not come in light a lion or a lamb.

March winds whispering
though olive, oak, and pine trees
birds sing joyfully

The old saying says that when March comes it like lion it will go out like a lamb; however, this year it felt more like a trotting horse. So there is no forecasting how it will go, all though it could go out the same way it came; unable to decided whether it wants to roar or bleat.

Free Write Sunday: Thoughts about Spring

Jamál (Beauty), 2 ‘Alá’ (Loftiness), 169 B.E. - Sunday, March 3, 2013 about 8:10 A.M. Pacific Time

This year, the vernal equinox and spring in the Northern Hemisphere occurs at Wednesday, March 20, at 7:04 A.M. (EDT), which is 10:04 A.M. (PDT).  At last, warmer weather or at least I hope it means warmer weather. The weather so far in 2013 has been weird or at least I think the weather we are experiencing is weird.

I am looking forward to warmer weather. I am looking forward to oak trees with green leaves. I am looking forward to moving to a new residence. I am looking forward to ice tea. I am looking forward to making sun tea.

The birds in my neighborhood are all ready proclaiming spring. Every morning when I go outside to pick up my newspaper a bird is singing. This morning it is a nightingale sing, but sometimes it is a sparrow or a mourning dove. This morning the wind is blowing scattering the dawn clouds, combing the weeds in my yard, and caressing the boughs of trees.

beautiful morning
clouds floating across the sky
sunshine and white clouds

Goal for the next 12 or 19 months

Istiqlál (Independence), 4 Ayyám-i-Há (The Days of Há, 169 B.E. - Friday, March 1, 2013 about 8:10 A.M. Pacific Time

I have problems posting to this blog on a regular basis. There are several reasons for this, one of the reasons is finding subjects and themes.  Then there is the issue of time and interruptions that occur regularly. Therefore, I have decided that the best way to handle these situations is to plan to post every other day. I will also use specific themes for each day. The following is a list of those themes and will begin with the next post.

Free Write Sunday
Quote of the Week Monday
Haibun-Haiku Tuesday
Midweek Reflections Wednesday
Thankful Thursday
Poetry form of the Week Friday
Recyclable Saturday

Midweek Reflections: Cleaning off my desk

‘Idál (Justice), 2 Ayyám-i-Há (The Days of Há) - Wednesday, February 27, 2013 about 1:54 P.M Pacific Time

I had to stop cleaning out a suitcase and clean off the top of my desk. Fortunately, the suitcase is almost empty so when I get back to it, after I finish cleaning off my computer desk, it will be finished quickly. I had to clean off my desk because I could put anything else on i t.

I have divided the top of my desk into three sections. The computer is in the middle of the desk (this is not a real computer desk, but a older five drawer office desk). As I said, the computer is in the middle, so I have space to the right and left of the computer to put papers and books. I took some papers out of the suitcase with information I needed to record, but when I got to the desk I did not have room to laying anything of either side of the computer.

I have the left side of the desk cleaned and straightened, so now I only have to take care of the right side. However, I decided before I begin cleaning off the rest of the desk to compose this entry. This is the only idea I have come up with today for an entry and I figured I had better make the entry.

I have heard it said that a clean desk is the sign of a sick mind. I will never have a completely clean desk, but I do want one that I can use without knocking something onto the floor. I am sixty-six years old and picking things up off the floor is a pain.

February Wind

Fiḍál (Grace), 1 Ayyám-i-Há (The Days of Há), 169 B.E. - Tuesday, February 26, 2013 about 1:35 P.M. Pacific Time

February wind
the last breath of winter blows
through green olive trees

the wind and the sun
whispering and shining through
olive and oak limbs

February ends
is the wind a lion's roar
or a house cat's purr

Mom's Favorite peanut butter cookie

Jalál (Glory), 18 Mulk (Dominion), 169 B.E. - Sunday, February 24, 2013 about 4:10 P.M. Pacific Time

I bought a box of Mom's favorite peanut butter cookies yesterday. I went to to store to pick up a package of paper towels and other items. When I arrived, there were Girl Scouts selling cookies in front of the store. I bought a box of peanut butter patties, which were Mom's favorite cookies.  Mom liked these cookies because they have both peanut butter and chocolate.

a box of cookies
chocolate peanut butter
are crispy and sweet

Friday morning in Las Vegas

Istiqlál (Independence), 16 Mulk (Dominion), 169 B.E. - Friday, February 22, 2013 about 11:05 A.M. Pacific Time

Friday morning, my coffee cup is empty because for the past thirty minutes or so I had  to deal with modem issues. I am do know what caused the problem because manually rebooting the modem cleared the problem. I do not want to know what caused the problem because I am more interested in why one computer is encountering virtual memory problems.

Fortunately, that computer is not the one I use to surf and work on the Internet. At least under normal conditions, the only thing I use that computer for is downloads. It is the downloads that may be the problem. Anyway, I am running a virus scan on that computer right now; sometime this afternoon I will know if there is a problem with virus or spy ware. In the meantime, I will pour me another cup of coffee and finish cleaning off the dining room table.

computer issues
make days interesting stressful
another week past

Midweek Reflections on Weather

‘Idál (Justice), 14 Mulk (Dominion), 169 B.E. - Wednesday, February 20, 2013 about 6:50 A.M. Pacific Time

According to weather.com the temperature in Las Vegas will be in the high fifties with A.M. showers. I can remember when the only way to get the daily weather forecast was to turn on the television or radio and listen to the news. Now I can find out the weather for Las Vegas or any other part of the country or the world by turning on my computer and going to a website.

I also checked the weather across the country, especially in the central plains. The weather map of that area indicated snow for Kansas and norther Oklahoma. My father's family lives in Kansas, while Mom's relatives live in northern Oklahoma. I was born and raised in Blackwell, Oklahoma, which is close to the Kansas border. I can remember snow storm from my childhood that closed roads and caused brown outs.

I think, the snow storms I remember took place around Christmas or New Year and not in late February. Of course, that was a long time ago and I was a child. Children remember snow storms and bad weather conditions different from the way adults remember them. Still, I think the weather patterns and conditions have change a great deal since I was a child.

President's Day 2013

Kamál (Perfection), 12 Mulk (Dominion), 169 B.E. - Monday, February 18, 2013 about 4:25 P.M. Pacific Time

It is President's Day, so there were no postal deliveries and the banks were closed. At least, I think my bank was closed. The only banking I did today was to check my accounts online, so it did not matter much whether the banks were open or closed today. I took some items to the storage unit this morning and then I came back home.

It is President's Day, the day we remember all the Presidents of the United States and not just George Washington or Abraham Lincoln. I do not know if the schools were closed today or not. I know when I was growing up and we commemorated the birthdays of Abraham Lincoln and George Washington, the schools remained in session. At least, I think we went to school on those days; that was a long time ago and in another state.

Happy President's Day

 

Saturday Afternoon Memories

Jalál (Glory), 10 Mulk (Dominion), 169 B.E. - Saturday, February 16, 2013 about 3:10 P.M. Pacific Time

It's Saturday afternoon and clouds cover most of the sky. I remember a Saturday afternoon when my mother and I went out to eat. Mom like going to a restaurants. When she was working at the Showboat we would go out to eat once a week. Mom work at the Showboat for years and she continued working there when it changed hands and became the Castaways.

Mom worked in the coffee shop and then later in the Employee's Dining Room. Mom enjoyed working, in fact she worked until she was in her early 80s and the hotel casino closed its doors. After the business closed and Mom retired, we continued to go out to eat about once a month. We finally had to stop going out because it became difficult for Mom to get in and out of the car.

I miss going out to eat with Mom. I have not been out to eat this year, In fact, I have not been out to eat since October of last year. At least, I do not think I have been out to eat since October of 2012, not to a real restaurant anyway. I might have bought fast food, but that is not going to a restaurant because I purchase the food to bring home instead of eating in the restaurant.

Midweek Reflections: On old habits

‘Idál (Justice), 7 Mulk (Dominion), 169 B.E. - Wednesday, February 13, 2013 about 10:25 P.M. Pacific Time

I realized sometime late last night or early this morning, that I no longer have to be back to the house by 2:30 P.M. While Mom was alive, I had to be back home by that time, but not any more. However, I am still in the mental habit of thinking I have to do all my business and driving in the morning because I need to be turning into the driveway by 2:30 P.M.

The necessity to be back home by a specific time meant I had to leave the house between 9:30 and 10:00 A.M. If I had more then one stop to make or had to drive across town then I had to leave between 8:30 and 9:00 A.M. I do not have that restriction anymore; however, I seem to still think that way. So today, I am going to leave the house between 11:30 A.M. and Noon.

I know it is difficult to break old habits, but I am going to attempt to break this one. It may not be easy and I may want to check the time on my cell phone every twenty or thirty minutes. I can overcome this habit by putting my cell phone in my purse instead of laying it on the seat or wearing it around my neck. I am looking forward to trying something new. I am looking forward to pulling myself out of my rut.

Cleaning out the coat closet

Kamál (Perfection), 5 Mulk (Dominion), 169 B.E. - Monday, February 11, 2013 about 3:17 P.M. Pacific Time

I opened the door to the coat closet today. Inside I found and removed an ironing board, two suitcases (one empty), and a briefcase. There are still several things in the closet, I remember seeing a bar stool with a back, and several piece of clothing plus two coats. I do not remember what else was in the closet.

I set up the ironing board and put the briefcase on top. I took everything out of briefcase and laid them on the ironing board. Most of the items are trash, papers that I have no use for; those I will throw away. Some of the papers contained copies of poems I have written. Since I do not intend to use this briefcase, it is soft sided, I will put some clothing items in it and donate everything to a local charity.

One suitcase is so heavy that I cannot lift it onto the ironing board. It is so heavy I can barely left it at all. It is my suitcase, so whatever in in it I put there. I cannot remember what this suitcase contains, but I need to find out because I need to put some of my clothes in it for storage. I do not want to give all my clothes away, but there I some I will not wear until later in the year.

A late winter afternoon in Las Vegas

Jamál (Beauty), 4 Mulk (Dominion), 169 BE – Sunday, February 10, 2013 about 5:10 P.M. Pacific Time

the charcoal gray clouds
and a cold wind is blowing
then the sun peeks out

I am looking forward to spring and warmer days. I have turned the thermostat down to 70 degrees. I would like to turn it down lower, but I cannot deal with colder temperatures. As it is, the arthritis bothers me; it is a dull pain in my joints. I have not taken a pain pill because the pain is dull and it is not continuous.

the sun is setting
behind charcoal and white clouds
a cold wind blowing

The wind feels cold to me, but I do not think it is as cold as it feels. The clouds make it seem colder. Clouds covered the sky most of the day and now sunset approaches. I have not checked the weather today, so I cannot say what the temperature is in Las Vegas. I know we do not have snow, so it cannot be as cold it feels to me.

my thermostat
my body’s temperature gauge
has not worked in years

I think it feels cold to me because my body’s thermostat does not work properly. It has been several years since I felt comfortable in winter. I used to like the winder, but now I prefer spring and fall temperatures. As I have said before, getting old is not for wimps.

Recyclable Saturday: Taking the Recyclable Bins to the curb

Jalál (Glory), 3 Mulk (Dominion), 169 B.E. - Saturday, February 9, 2013 about 6:05 A.M. Pacific Time

It's recyclable Saturday. It's time to put the plastic recyclable bins on the curb, which I did about thirty minutes ago. I have a unique method of taking the bins to down to the street. I have a black plastic rolling trashcan, so, on recyclable Saturday, I remove the lid from my trashcan and place a red, white, or blue bin inside.

I roll the trashcan down to the curb and remove the recyclable bin. I then roll the trashcan back to the garage, put another recyclable bin in and roll the trashcan containing the recyclable back down to the curb. I do this until I have all the bins on the curb, sometimes it takes two trips and sometimes three.

I use this method because I can't carry the bins without assistance. Since I don't have anyone to help me, this is the best method to accomplish the job. I have to get the recyclables to the curb before 6:00 A.M. because sometimes the recyclable truck begins its run early.

An Osteoarthritis Morning in Las Vegas

Istiqlál (Independence), 2 Mulk (Dominion), 146 B.E. - Friday, February 8, 2013 about 8:35 A.M. Pacific Time

an arctic wind blows
the bright sun cast dark shadows
no birds are singing

It's an osteoarthritis  morning, my knees are stiff so I walk like a zombie. When I went outside for the paper the wind chilled me to the bone. It's the type of day I would like to remain indoors, but that isn't possible. I have to take some items to the storage unit this afternoon which means I have to load them into the car here and unload them at the storage unit.

The loading and unloading isn't going to help my knees. The last load I took was on Wednesday, I didn't take a load Thursday because my back hurt; I must have strained it on Wednesday. I will load the car after I have breakfast and decide whether I'm going to take a pain pill before I go to the storage unit or waiting until I get home.

I may wait until I return home because if I feel today the way I did Wednesday then I will want a nap. I have difficulty sleeping when I'm in pain, so the medication will do me more good when I get home. I don't like to take pain medication unless it's absolutely necessary. My doctor advised against taking the medication unless I was in extreme pain.

Thankful Thursday: Ten things to be thankful for

Istijlál (Majesty), 1 Mulk (Dominion), 169 B.E. - Thursday, February 7, 2013 about 10:15 A.M. Pacific Time

Today I give thanks for...

1. Hot black coffee sipped from my mother's favorite coffee cup,
2.  A grilled ham and cheese sandwich made in the electric skillet my brother gave me for my birthday,
3. A  daily newspaper that I can read while sipping my first cup of coffee in the morning,
4. The sparrows I saw yesterday when I parked in the parking lot outside my doctor's office
5. The nightingale I heard singing this morning when I picked up the newspaper,
6. The clear blue sky I see when I look out my living room window,
7. The storage unit that I am using to store my items in,
8. The bright sunshine casting oak tree shadows across the neighbors front lawn,
9. The powdered hot chocolate mix I use to make cafe mocha at home,
10. The powdered milk I mix to put on my cereal.

Tuesday cooking

Fiḍál (Grace), 18 Sulṭán (Sovereignty), 169 B.E. - Tuesday, February 5, 2013 about 12:20 P.M. Pacific Time

3 cups cheese filled Tortellini
3 cups milk
3 tablespoons Canola oil
1 can pink salmon
Cinnamon

In a large skillet combine Tortellini, milk,Canola oil, and cinnamon, then cook over medium to low heat until sauce thickens and last add salmon. I use the small cans of salmon, but you can add the large cans if you like. This make enough for one person for two or three days depending on how many meals you want to serve it. This is the main dish and you can serve it with a salad or vegetables and a desert.

A Visit to the Cemetery

Jalál (Glory), 15 Sulṭán (Sovereignty), 169 B.E. - Saturday, February 2, 2013 about 1:40 P.M. Pacific Time

I went to the cemetery this morning to see Mom's headstone. It is a beautiful rose or reddish colored stone with roses engraved on it. Mama liked roses. Mama like red. Mama was my inspiration. Mama was my life for several years. I miss Mama.

The cemetery, where Mom is buried, is on South Eastern Avenue. The plot is located on the west side of the cemetery near Eastern, but not close enough to the street for traffic to be distracting when I visit the grave. I think the stone is beautiful. I know Mom would like it  and I am sure she would like the location of  the plot.

Next time I go, I think I will take some roses. I am not sure whether they will be living roses or silk roses. I am not sure it matter which type I put on the grave because flowers are there to bring comfort to the living and to decorate the grave. There are evergreen trees scattered throughout the cemetery, so there are living plants enhancing the cemetery's tranquility.

Is it really February already?

Istiqlál (Independence), 14 Sulṭán (Sovereignty), 169 B.E. - Friday, February 1, 2013 about 6:20 A.M. Pacific Time

Is it February already? It seems like just yesterday most of the world celebrated a new Gregorian year, with fireworks lighting up the sky over almost every large city in the world. At midnight, 2012 passed and 2013 was born. Many people made New Year resolutions and, if they could, took a day off work.

It is February 1st, one-twelfth of 2013 is gone, but where did it go. January passed like a blink of the eye. Now it the time for each individual to ask the question "What did I accomplish in January of 2013?" I know I am asking myself that question. I look at the calendar date and realize that that Naw-Ruz, March 21st, is approaching. At sunset on Naw-Ruz, 169 B.E. will become 170 B.E. and I look at everything I wanted to accomplish before Naw-Ruz. Then I ask myself, What have I accomplished to date? Then I realize I need to work a little harder to accomplish the important things before Naw-Ruz.

Midweek Reflections on Calendars and Time

‘Idál (Justice), 12 Sulṭán (Sovereignty), 169 B.E. - Wednesday, January 30, 2013 about 8:55 A.M. Pacific Time

February has 28 days this year. If it passes as quickly as January, then on February 27th or 28th, I will feel as if a tornado pass through my life leaving behind a jumble of unfinished task and goal. I have a 2013 Emergency Preparedness wall calendar from the Southern Nevada Health District beside me on my desk. All right, I know I am suppose to hang a wall calendar on the wall, but it does not do me any good hanging on the wall.

If I hang the calendar on the wall by the phone, then I have to go into the breakfast room to look at it. That is too far to walk while I am planning my February schedule. I have to plan specific housecleaning goals for February because I have a lot of stuff to get dispose of before Thursday, February 28. Some of the items I will give away, some I will throw away, and some I will put in storage. I also have to plan time to work online, but I think I will do that at night.

I want to get a few things accomplished in February. I do not want to reach the end of the month and feel as if a tornado struck leaving fragments of unfinished goals scattered in its wake. I know I have physical problems which prevent me from standing up for long periods of time, but that does not mean I am unable to do housework. The housework just takes longer especially when it comes to sweeping and mopping floors.

Two months and counting

Fiḍál (Grace), 11 Sulṭán (Sovereignty), 169 B.E. - Tuesday, January 29, 2013 about 4:15 P.M. Pacific Time

Precisely two months ago, Mom passed away. I miss her today as much as the day she passed. I know I will always miss her, but eventually the anniversary of her death will be just another day. At least I hope that will be the case because I want to remember Mom as she was when she lived and not the day she died.

I received a certificate though the mail today. It said that a seedling is being planted in memory of Mom. I think it is fitting that I received this certificate today, because it symbolizes life rather then death. It symbolizes a beginning rather then an ending. A seedling in memory of my mother will help in the reforestation project overseen by the Forest Service.

Monday, Monday

Kamál (Perfection), 10 Sulṭán (Sovereignty), 169 B.E. - Monday, January 28, 2013 about 11:55 A.M. Pacific Time

I remember a song from my youth with the words "Monday, Monday," the next words said something about not liking Monday. I think the Beatles recorded it, but that is all I remember about the song. I wish I could remember more because today I would like to sing that song.

This morning I did a load of laundry, when I went to take the clothes out of the washer they were still very wet. This has happened before, that event was cause by the cord from a pair of slacks got tangled around the agitator. I thought that was the problem this morning; however, when I emptied the washer nothing had gotten tangled. The other possibility is that the load was unbalanced.

If the problem was not caused by an unbalanced load, then I have to call a repairman to fix it. I am not looking forward to that because I will have to wait until after February 4th when my check comes in. That means I have to be extremely careful with the clothes I have and not get anything on them because I do not have the time or the money to go to the laundromat. I still have two or three of Mom's adult bibs in the house, so I may begin wearing those when I eat, just to be on the safe side.

The Last Sunday in January 2013

Jamál (Beauty), 9 Sulṭán (Sovereignty), 169 B.E. - Sunday, January 27, 2013 about 8:45 A.M. Pacific Time

It is the last Sunday in January 2013. It is a beautiful and chilly (at least to those of us whose internal thermostat is out of whack) day in Las Vegas. The wind is blowing and the birds are singing, of course, birds have feathers to keep them warm so they do not have to worry about their body's thermostat.

It is the last Sunday in January and there is a puddle of water in my driveway. The water is the results of a late night winter rain. I am not sure when it rained because I did not look out my front door before I went to bed, so it is possible the rain came early this morning.

It is the last Sunday in January and I am think back over Saturday's events. I believe it rained sometime during the day as well as late at night. It is not raining today, in fact the sky is blue, the sun is shining, and the wind is blowing; all in all, it is a nice day, a good Sunday morning.

tree limbs are waving
their shadows are dancing
music of the wind

Cornbread on Saturday Afternoon

Jalál (Glory), 8 Sulṭán (Sovereignty), 169 B.E. - Saturday, January 26, 2013 about 2:45 P.M. Pacific Time

I made a casserole dish of cornbread this morning. I know that I should have used another type of baking pan, but I made cooked the cornbread in the microwave and the casserole dish was the only microwave safe contain big enough. Since I did not want to go to the store and look for the proper microwave safe baking pan I improvised.

This morning, after finishing the cornbread I fixed it with a can of soup. This afternoon, I will fix something else with the cornbread. Perhaps I will fix it with peanut butter and jelly or melt some cheese over the cornbread. I fixed a peanut butter sandwich with the last two slices of regular bread yesterday. I purposely did not purchase any bread this week because I knew I would fix the cornbread for Saturday and Sunday.

I do not like to have much bread in the house because there is a good chance it will mold or go stale before I eat it. The cornbread will last this weekend, I just have to figure out different foods to eat with it. I might try adding some vegetarian beans to the cheese and cornbread or maybe some other type of vegetable like peas or carrots.

Rembering Mama watching rain

Istiqlál (Independence), 7 Sulṭán (Sovereignty), 169 B.E. - Friday, January 25, 2013 about 3:35 P.M. Pacific Time

It is a cloudy Friday afternoon, I am wondering it is going to rain again in Las Vegas. As I look out my window, I remember how much Mama liked the rain. Mom enjoyed sitting in the living room and looking out the window at the rain. I miss sitting on the couch with Mama and watching the rain.

a gray cloud cover
hiding the afternoon sun
the promise of rain

Tuesday Thoughts on Jauary 22, 2013

Fiḍál (Grace), 4 Sulṭán (Sovereignty), 169 B.E. - Tuesday, January 22, 2013 about 2:55 P.M Pacific Time

This morning, I received a care package from one of my brothers. I contain food items, which included a large bag of coffee. It is a brand that I have not tried before, so I am looking forward to making a carafe. I have to find space in the cupboard for the items, I think I will put the coffee in the refrigerator. Normally, I would wait until I opened the coffee to put it in the fridge, but I think that is the only place it  will fit.

It is a nice day in Las Vegas, when I went out  for the newspaper this morning it was warmer then yesterday. The wind is still blowing, but the temperature is nice. Yesterday I turned on the television and watched the news, the meteorologist said we would have warmer temperatures this week. I like warm temperatures better then cold temperatures because my joints do not  hurt.

Morning Coffee in Las Vegas

Jamál (Glory), 2 Sulṭán (Sovereignty), 169 B.E. - Sunday, January 20, 2013 about 8:35 A.M. Pacific time

This morning, I am drinking coffee from Mom's favorite coffee cup. The design on the cup is a man playing a musical instrument, I think  the instrument is called a base fiddle. Mom always like to drink her coffee from this cup, so I decided to put my coffee in it today. I  believe this decision has something to do with missing Mom.

Mom and I always preferred our coffee dark and strong, but when she became ill I changed to a lighter blend of coffee. I did not change to decaf because neither of us liked it, I think it had something to do with the taste or the way it made us feel when we drink it. This year, I changed back to the darker blends of coffee because I prefer the taste.

Normally, I do not drink more then one or two cups a day even though I make coffee in a 12-cup carafe. When I have leftover coffee, I use the microwave to warm it up the next day. There is no use wasting a good cup of coffee, especially when warmed over coffee taste almost as good as fresh coffee. Of course, I use a drip coffee maker instead of a percolator. Because of the way a percolator works it brews stronger coffee.

Thankful Thursday: January 17, 2013

Istijlál (Majesty), 18 Sharaf (Honor), 169 B.E. - Thursday, January 17, 2013 about 6:10 A.M. Pacific Time

The past five days have been interesting and stressful. Today I am thankful for

1. The Mourner's Bill of Rights I received at the bereavement group I attended last night
2. The 2013 Emergency Preparedness calendar I received Wednesday
3. The two loaves of free bread, one white and one wheat, I received Wednesday
4. The dark gourmet supreme coffee I warmed in the microwave this morning
5. The technician who fix my heat pump on Tuesday
6. Online dictionaries
7. A working microwave
8. Peanut butter and grape jelly sandwiches
9. Warm winter sweaters
10. The memories of my mother

A cold weekend in Las Vegas

Jalal (Glory), 13 Sharaf (Honor), 169 B.E. - Saturday, January 12, 2013 about 4:50 P.M. Pacific Time

no wind this evening
sunset blue sky slowly fades
no clouds in the sky

I am expecting a cold evening. I just checked weather.com and the temperature in Las Vegas is about 40 degrees. I will warm up a can of mixed vegetables for supper. I have apple juice in the refrigerator, so I think I will warm that  up as well. I still have a lot of work today, so that should warm me up. I think I will wait until morning to take anymore recyclables or trash to the garage. It is cold out there, I can stay warmer if I remain in the house.

My first afternoon nap in 2013

Istiqlal (Independence), 12 Sharaf (Honor), 169 B.E. - Friday, January 11, 2013 about 2:00 P.M.

wind in the oak tree
a chilly and cloudy day
no birds are singing

The wind is blowing and the limbs of the neighbors trees are waving. The limbs of my tree is probably also waving, but I cannot see it. The clouds hide the sun, so there are no shadows cast today. This afternoon I am sleepy; therefore, I am going to turn the computer off and attempt to take a nap. This is the first time this year I considered an afternoon nap.

I will take my prayer book with me so that I can say prayers before trying to go to sleep. I am not sure I will be able to sleep because, but I will give it a try. If I cannot sleep then I will get up and wash the dishes or something.

I changed purses

Istiqlal (Independence)  5 Sharaf (Honor) - Friday,January 4, 2012 about Sunset Pacific Time

I finally did it, I changed purses. My black purse was too small, so I emptied the white purse. The white purse belonged to my mother. It has sit on the floor in her bedroom since November 29, 2012. Until today I just could not face taking her stuff out and putting mine in. Today was different, I brought the white purse into the living room and took everything out. I am putting some of the things back in. Mom's two wallets and the make-up bag. It is comforting knowing I am carrying Mom's purse.

One of Mom's wallets I will use. I will put my new driver's license in, some paper currency, and change. In her other wallet, I will put pennies. I normally do not carry pennies in my purse, I save them in a jar. I feel good about using Mom's purse because there are pleasant memories associated with it. I miss Mama, I will always miss her, but carrying her purse helps.

New Year's Day 2013

Fidal (Grace), 2 Sharaf (Honor), 169 B.E. - Tuesday, January 1, 2013 about 9:05 A.M. Pacific Time

On January 1, my Grandmother always made black eyed peas, so today I have a batch of  black eyed peas in the slow cooker. Yesterday, I washed them and then put them onto soak because this is the way you make black eyed peas. I seldom buy canned black eyed peas, I think it is because Grandma never fixed black eyed peas from a can. When the peas are about done, I add the rest of the ingredients to the slow cooker.

When I went to the grocery store yesterday, I bought a package of cornbread already made and a whole pumpkin pie. All right, when Grandma fixed her New Year's Day meal she always made her own cornbread and pumpkin pies. I buy these items already made because it is easier for me then making them and cleaning up after the meal. In addition, I only have a microwave oven and I have not attempted to make cornbread or bake a pie in the microwave. I will attempt both of those projects sometime in 2013, but not on January 1.