Friday, May 30, 2008

Listening to Music

Istiqlál (Independence), 14 ‘Azamat (Grandeur), 165 B.E. – Friday, May 30, 2008 about 7:20 PM PDT

I enjoy listening to music. Music speaks directly to the soul. Depending on the type of music it either makes me happy or sad. My favorite instrument is bagpipes. Every time I hear them, I want to cry. The sound of a flute has a completely different affect on me. Flute music makes me happy, every time I hear a flute I feel joyful and want to smile and laugh.

I listened to music this morning. The instrument was a key board, which could make the sound of many different instruments. The music was beautiful and I left the music room smiling. All in all, my morning was wonderful.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Let there be light in my Dinning Room

Istijlál (Majesty), 13 ‘Azamat (Grandeur), 165 B.E. – Thursday, May 29, 2008 about 6:44 PM PDT

My grandmother cleaned house in the middle of the night. When she could not sleep she would get up and clean house. Of course, she had light. All right I do have lights, in every room of this house I have lights that work, except in the dinning room. The chandelier does not work, even when I put new bulbs in it does not work; so I keep it off, until recently I had a floor lamp that worked, unfortunately, the switch went out and I cannot use it.

I do not intention of getting the floor lamp fixed because I bought it at a yard sale five or six years ago. I paid $5.00 for it and it will cost me more then that to get the switch fixed. For what it would cost to fix it, I can get a new lamp. Eventually I will get a new lamp, but for now I will just have to clean that room during the day.

There is a hospital bed in the dinning room and I'm going to call next week to have it removed. Until I get my dinning room table out of the living room and back where it belongs, I am not going to get a new lamp for the dining room. In the mean time, I will compare lamp prices and see what styles of floor lamps are available. The lamp I have now is black and I do not want another black lamp in my dining room.

As for the chandelier, it is ugly and too big for the dining room, but I cannot complain because it was there when we bought the house. If I get another chandelier, I want one that looks different, is smaller and does not hang down as low.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

A Beautiful day in Las Vegas

‘Idál (Justice), 12 ‘Azamat (Grandeur), 165 B.E. – Wednesday, May 28, 2008 about 7:39 PM PDT

Today was a beautiful day, not too warm and not too cold. There were clouds scattered across the sky and a slight wind. It did not rain today; it was just a beautiful spring day in Las Vegas. Today is the kind of day that encourages sitting on the patio and saying prayers or reading the scriptures.

Today is the kind of day that encourages going to the park. The only problem for me is that both parks closest to my house are closed. They closed one for improvements and the other because the city wanted to discourage the homeless from sleeping there. That was not the reason they gave when they closed it I forget the official reason. Since both parks are closed the only place I can go to write or meditate is on my back patio.

Gas prices are about $3.89 a gallon here so I no longer drive across town just to go to a park. If some of my friends are going or there is a group affair at a park then I will drive across town. I will not drive just to sit in a park by myself and write or meditate.

A beautiful day in Las Vegas,
is becoming a beautiful evening.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

The Final Days of May 2008

Fidál (Grace), 11 ‘Azamat (Grandeur), 165 B.E. – Tuesday, May 27, 2008 about sunset PDT

Memories of summer in Oklahoma
appear in my minds eye
yanking me back to the good times of my youth.

That is about it for my May poem. I am at the end of a long day and the week is almost half over. I returned to work today and realized that having a Monday off throws my entire week off. Sweet dreams and happiness to everyone during these last few days of May 2008. This year is passing swiftly.

Monday, May 26, 2008

I have slacked off recently

Kamál (Perfection), 10 ‘Azamat (Grandeur), 165 B.E. – Monday, May 26, 2008 about 4:34 PM PDT

I have slacked off recently. I started working from 8:30 AM to 1:30 PM out side the house and as a result, I have not achieved as much at home as I wanted. I used today to catch up on a couple of things. Last night I stayed up later then usually and got up about 5:30 AM instead of 4:00 AM this morning.

I think my problem is a routine. I need to establish a new writing routine. I have not been getting on line in the morning before going to work. Instead, I have watched the local news, which is a bit depressing. I am not sure about getting on line before going to work in the mornings. I think that establishing a new writing routine in the afternoon is the best idea.

I did not go anywhere today. The main problem is gas prices. I paid about $3.71 a gallon the last time I bought gas. I have to get more gas this week, so I will get another $20 tomorrow. I remember when I could fill the tank on a $20 bill and have enough left over for a couple of bottles of soda or coffee. Now all $20 gets is about half a tank or less of gas. Oh well, I suppose it could be worse, at least we are not paying $10.00 a gallon yet.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Too hot for butterflies

Kamál (Perfection), 3 ‘Azamat (Grandeur), 165 B.E. – Monday, May 19, 2008 about 7:15 PM PDT

It is too hot out doors for butterflies today. The temperature reach 108 degrees at McCarran airport, which is where the official temperature of Las Vegas is taken. The weather person expected it to get to about 109 before the sunsets and the city begins cooling down. Tomorrow the winds pick up and we are in for the blow dryer effect. After the winds pick up then the temperature will cool down to the 80s and 90s, but for now were in for, at least, one more hot day.

I put a new filter in the air conditioner Friday and turned the unit on. It appears to be working well though it takes a while to cool this house down. Fortunately, I will not know what the power bill for this month is until around June 4 or 5. I know it will come up because the last couple of months I have not had the unit on at all.

I will worry about the power bill when it comes in. I have more import problems at the moment. Starting Saturday, I am going to be doing my own yard work. Saturday I will pick up any trash in the front yard before it gets too hot. Then Sunday, if I can find my gardening gloves, see about trimming the oleanders in the front.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

I Think I had a 24 Hour Bug

Jamál (Beauty), 2 ‘Azamat (Grandeur), 165 B.E. – Sunday, May 18, 2008 about 2:02 PM PDT

I spent most of Friday evening and Saturday with the dry heaves, which are very unpleasant. I think I would rather have something coming back up then nothing. I think I had a 24 hour bug because it came on suddenly, lasted 24-hours and left suddenly. I am feeling a lot better today. However, there is no use writing about a 24-hour bug in a transformation blog unless I have learned something from it.

I learned several things. First, I learned that there is no use attempting to write anything or posting to a blog when I am ill. Second, when I get ill and have the dry heaves I think I am going to die. I lived, I am feeling better and if it ever happens again then I am going to make sure I have solid food in my stomach.

A new week has begun and I am feeling better. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning for some lab test, not because I was ill, but so I can get back on my meds. I am not sure right now if I will discuss my illness with the doctor or not. If I do it means, I have to stay in the office longer then what I would like. Besides it was only a 24-hour bug, it has left now, so what is the use in saying anything.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Thankful Thursday May 15, 2008

Istijlál (Majesty), 18 Jamál (Beauty), 165 B.E. – Thursday, May 15, 2008 about Sunset PDT

  1. Today I am thankful that the high today was only 90 degrees.
  2. Today I am thankful that I only paid $3.59 per gallon the last time I bought gas.
  3. Today I am thankful for the wind and clouds of the past few days.
  4. Today I am thankful for the meatloaf we had today for supper.
  5. Today I am thankful for the prayers revealed by Baha'u'llah.
  6. Today I am thankful for the short distance I have to drive to work.
  7. Today I am thankful for the telephone line that connects me to the internet.
  8. Today I am thankful for the doctor's appointment I had on Monday.
  9. Today I am thankful that my alarm is set at 4:00 AM.
  10. Today I am thankful for the morning news I listen to before going to work.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Memorial Day Approaches

‘Idál (Justice), 17 Jamál (Beauty), 165 B.E. – Wednesday, May 14, 2008 about 7:45 PM PDT

Memorial Day approaches. It is commemorated on Monday, May 26, rather then on the traditional May 30. I still think of Memorial Day falling on May 30, but since everyone has to have a three day week end it is celebrated on a Monday this year.

I will get Memorial Day off, but that is beside the point. I still think of it in the traditional manner. I miss Memorial Day being celebrated on May 30. I doubt that we go out of town. Gas prices are getting close to $4.00 and it would not surprise me if they reached that on Memorial Day weekend.

How am I going to celebrate Memorial Day this year? I have no idea. I think I will do a little research on the history of that day and write a blog entry. Normally I celebrate with a poem, but this year perhaps a flash fiction story is more appropriate. I am not sure yet.

I miss celebrating Memorial Day the way my grandparents commemorated it. I remember grandma making paper flowers to put on the graves. There were family graves all over Oklahoma, Kansas and Missouri. I have a few days to consider and see if I can find some family photos to post.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Three more days until Feast

Fidál (Grace), 16 Jamál (Beauty), 165 B.E. – Tuesday, May 13, 2008 about 7:10 PM PDT

The Feast of 'Azamat is on Friday, May 16. I didn't go to the Feast of Jamal and I think that's part of my problem. I haven't felt like myself lately and I don't know why. On Monday I went to the doctor and received two prescriptions. I got those prescriptions fill today. I have another appointment next Monday for lab tests and blood work. I expect to get another prescription.

All right, at 61 I suppose a person should expect to get a few meds. After all I not young any more and the body is aging. However, I think my problem is more then just needing meds. I think I'll explore this in my off line journal and see what I come up with. It's just that I can't seem to get everything done that I want to complete.

Sometime I feel like I'm running in circles and getting nowhere fast. I suppose if one is getting nowhere it may as well be fast then slow. All right, I haven't lost my sense of humor. So perhaps things are getting better. I did miss feast and the month always goes better if I attend the Feast.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Thoughts at the end of the day

Kamál (Perfection), 15 Jamál (Beauty), 165 B.E. – Monday, May 12, 2008 about 6:50 PM PDT

Sunset approaches on a cloudy Monday afternoon. I had a doctor's appointment today at 3:00 PM and naturally I got lost going there. I turned the wrong way on Flamingo. Instead of turning west I turned east. All right, I am directionally challenged, i.e. I have no sense of direction and get lost easily. However, I have lived in Las Vegas long enough to know I need to ask specific questions.

I know where I went wrong. Instead of asking the person on the phone if I went toward or away from Las Vegas Blvd. when I turned onto Flamingo; I ask if the place was east (going away from Las Vegas Blvd.) of Maryland Pkw. I should have ask if I turned toward Las Vegas Blvd. (that is west of Maryland Pkw. Oh well, I will know better the next time. Actually I will not get lost driving to that clinic again. Fortunately, I seldom get lost going to a new place.

I have another appointment on Monday morning for lab tests. I have to fast 12 hours before the tests. I am looking forward to the tests and to getting back on my meds, which is the reason I went to the doctor in the first place. However, as usual the doctor thinks that I need more then just the thyroid test. She is probably right, still I am going to have to take off work Monday because the test have to be done of a morning.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

The First Day of a New Week

Jamál (Beauty), 14 Jamál (Beauty), 165 B.E. – Sunday, May 11, 2008 about 4:24 PM PDT

It is Sunday, the first day of a new week. This week started out good, I said the morning prayer revealed by Baha'u'llah. This particular prayer I have memorized and I say it every morning. I got up about ten minutes before the alarm went off, which was a good thing. Yesterday I listened to the Saturday morning show that my brother prerecords. Anyway when I turned the radio off I turn did not turn the alarm on.

Mom and I went out for prime rib today. We went to a local place close to the Las Vegas strip. The coffee shop has a pleasant atmosphere and you cannot hear the noise of gambling. Mom and I do not gamble, so it is nice to sit in a restaurant and eat without the tinkle of coins. We had the king cut prime rib and horseradish. They served us both types of horseradish, the creamed kind which is not hot and the regular type. The regular type is hot enough to bring tears to your eyes, which is the best type of horseradish.

We brought home some of the leftover prime rib, so tomorrow I will fix it with some potatoes and green veggies. Today was a good Sunday. The weather not too hot and there is a slight wind. Mom is happy and I am happy. I am looking forward to a fulfilling week and the Feast of 'Azamat on May 16.

Happy Mothers' Day

Saturday, May 10, 2008

I am making myself a weekly schedule

Jalál (Glory), 13 Jamál (Beauty), 165 B.E. – Saturday, May 10, 2008 about 2:03 PM PDT

I am working out side my home and not just attempting to make money online. My schedule is Monday through Friday from 8:30 AM to 1:30 PM. I have even less time to do housework and writing then I did before. Therefore, I am going to attempt a daily schedule again. I have tried a schedule before, with some success and some failure.

This time I am going to approach the schedule a bit different. I found out that I stress when the changes and chances of life interfere with the schedule. I suspect my last schedule was not flexible enough. Therefore, I am going to put some flexibility in it.

I am going to put the normal items on the schedule such as work and social commitments. In addition, I am putting in housework time, writing time and prayer time. I will post the schedule to my off line journal Writing My Spiritual Journey, which I use to bring myself to account.

I am not sure whether my grandmother used a schedule or not. My grandmother would get up in the middle of the night and clean house. Those nights she could not sleep, she cleaned house. I am not sure about cleaning house myself when I cannot sleep. I would rather write, read or pray if I have difficulty sleeping.

Friday, May 09, 2008

Thoughts on the process of transformation

Istiqlál (Independence), 12 Jamál (Beauty), 165 B.E. – Friday, May 9, 2008 about 7:13 PM PDT

It's Friday night and I'm weary. I'm think about some of my recent entries, which appear to have nothing to do with the process of transformation and a butterfly emerging from her cocoon. However, as I contemplate transformation and the entries, I realize that many of them were about family. Family assists in the individual's transformation.

On the material plain, we are like the child in the womb of the mother. Here we acquire the attributes we need to live in the next world. The attributes required to live in that world are faith, love, joy, and forgiveness. In this world, we practice those attributes. The families help an individual practice and develop those attributes in this world. When we pass into the spiritual realm these attributes will help us live to our fullest.

It's within the family that we begin to develop these attributes. The individual begins developing these attributes from the moment of birth. However, sometimes we let the changes and chance of the material world come between our souls and us. When we do this the soul is covered with a dross that hides it and interferes with it's development.

As we grow in the family, we learn to love and forgive.
As we grow live in our family, we encounter tests and difficulties.
As with grow and live in our family begin to become are true selves.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Stressing over a Mothers' Day gift

Istijlál (Majesty), 11 Jamál (Beauty), 165 B.E. – Thursday, May 8, 2008 about 7:17 PM PDT

Why do I do this every time I want to get my mother a gift for Mothers' Day or her birthday? Mom is happy with whatever I get her or wherever I take her. I shouldn't stress over the gift, but I do every year. This year is special because my mother survived her operation and illness of last year. This year is special because we didn't celebrate Mothers' Day last year. At least, I don't remember celebrating the day.

Last year was stressful and this year less stressful. I don't know what to get or do for my mother on Mothers' Day. I've though of writing a poem, but I can't seem to come up with anything that I like. All right, I admit that I can be critical of my own work sometimes. However, a Mothers' Day poem written specifically for my mother is very special. The closes I can come to anything right now is this

You Beat the Odds

Born
on a farm in Oklahoma,
the doctor came to your house in a Model T
he thought you would not live to see
the morning,
but you beat the odds
and survived.

That's about as far as I've gotten on the poem. Perhaps I'll mention how she beat the odds again last year. The doctor who operated on her didn't expect her to survive, but she out witted the medical profession again. I think I'll get a blank book for her to write her memories in and put the poem on the first page.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

I want to know why

‘Idál (Justice), 10 Jamál (Beauty), 165 B.E. – Wednesday, May 7, 2008 about 5:24 PM PDT

I want to know why all the interesting phone calls come when I don't answer the phone. Mom got a phone call today from somewhere in Oklahoma. She didn't have a pad or a pen to write down the message, which isn't unusual. When I go to write a message or phone number down the first pen I pick up doesn't write. If the pen does write then there is no paper around to put the message on. Maybe that's why I let the answer machine pick it up because at least then I have a telephone number to call back.

Anyway Mom answered the phone and it was from Oklahoma. I know a lot of people in Oklahoma, but I have no clue as to who called. I really hope who ever it was calls back because they way Mom described the call it was interesting. It was probably a wrong number, so no one is going to call back. If someone says they are from Oklahoma then I'm going to answer the phone, if I'm home.

I think what I'll do is leave a pen and paper laying in the places Mom has the phone so she can write a message down, not that the pen will work when she goes to write it down. I can put a working pen by the phone and when I go to use it the pen doesn't work. This has happened to me more then once; I suppose the ink dries up before I use the pen. That's the most logical explanation.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

I have a doctor's appointment next week

Fidál (Grace), 9 Jamál (Beauty), 165 B.E. – Tuesday, May 6, 2008 about 6:25 PM PDT

I have a doctor's appointment next week. I believe it is on Monday afternoon at 3:00 PM. I changed this appointment last week so I cannot change it again. I am going to have to keep it. I need to get back on my meds. Actually there are many things I need, but the doctor's appointment is the most urgent right now.

I can remember my grandmother going to see the doctor. She would go religiously. I am not like that and I am not sure why. Maybe I take after my grandfater. He did not go to see a doctor unless he absolutely need to see one. I have to absolutely need to see one now.

Maybe I avoid going to a doctor because I have no health insurance. Having no health insurance is a real pain. Without health insurance, I have to let something else go to pay for the doctor. Without health insurance, I have to pay for the entire bill for any lab tests myself. I need lab tests because without them the doctor cannot tell what is wrong with me.

There was a time when I did not realize how important health insurance was and I did not worry about needing this type of insurance. I have changed, I now realize how important it is; the problem is I cannot get and I cannot afford health insurance. I cannot afford to pay the medical bills and I cannot afford health insurance. This is an interesting dilemma.

Monday, May 05, 2008

It's Been a Long Day

Kamál (Perfection), 8 Jamál (Beauty), 165 B.E. – Monday, May 5, 2008 about 7:29 PM PDT

It's been a long day. I can't do any writing or get online at all between 5:00 AM and 1:30 PM Monday through Friday. Today after I got home we went to the bank and cashed a check, then we went to the west side of town. I had a 2:00 PM appointment, which I thought was on another day. This is the second time this year I've let something like that happen. I don't know where my mind has been, but obviously not on my appointments.

After I took care of the appointment, we went to Blue Berry Hill to eat and then came home. I took the messages off the answering machine and then went to the drug store to get a bottle of Mom's meds. I changed another appointment from 11:00 AM on May 22 to 2:30 PM on June 16, at least I think it's June 16. I'm just not with it lately and I don't know what the problem is. I have an appointment next week to see a doctor and get back on my meds. That could be the problem.

The problem could just as easily be stress. Anyway, tomorrow I have to call the air conditioning people to come out and check the central air unit. It hasn't been warm enough to turn it on, but it's going to get warmer, so I need to get them out here this week or next week. It will have to be of an afternoon because I can't take off mornings any more this month. Well that's the blog entry for today. I have other writing to do before I go to bed.

Sunday, May 04, 2008

Mother's Day Approaches

Jamál (Beauty), 7 Jamál (Beauty), 165 B.E. – Sunday, May 4, 2008 about 9:39 AM PDT

Mother's day is coming and I still haven't figured out what I'm going to do for Mom on that day. Thinking back over my childhood I remember things my siblings and I did for Mom when we were growing up. One year we served her breakfast in bed. She enjoyed that, especially since we didn't burn the breakfast or the house down and cleaned up afterwards. However, I don't think breakfast in bed is going to do it this year.

Maybe I'll write a poem for her. I don't think I've ever written a poem specifically for my mother for Mother's Day. I've written Mother's Day Poems, but not one dedicated to Mom. I don't know why I've never written a Mother's Day poem to my mother. I suppose that would be a good subject to explore in my off line journal. I could do a blog entry about memories I have of Mom and growing up.

My mother is 87 years young. I'm worried about some of the things she does, but I think that's normal. She doesn't do anything odd or off beat, it's just that sometimes she does things differently from the way she did them when she went into the hospital last year. I'm going to talk to her doctor about that at her next appointment. Maybe I should write everything down I want to talk to her doctor about.

I want Mom to write down the things she remembers about her childhood and being a young woman. Perhaps I'll get her a blank book for that. Then she can write down everything she remembers and talks about. My mother is an exceptional person. She is wonderful and loving. She raised my siblings and me practically alone. True she did have some help from grandma and grandpa, but she did most of the job herself and held down a full time job. That doesn't seem like a lot today, but when I was a child it was unusual.

Saturday, May 03, 2008

A butterfly inside its Chrysalis

Jalál (Glory), 6 Jamál (Beauty), 165 B.E. – Saturday, May 3, 2008 about 3:17 PM PDT

Life for a butterfly inside its chrysalis is stressful and perplexing. It doesn't really know what's going on as its body changes from that of an earth crawler to a flyer. I've felt like a butterfly in its Chrysalis for the past year. When I began this blog in about 2005, I thought the name was interesting. I didn't realize until recently how appropriate the name of the blog would become.

In the past year life has been extremely stressful. This year the stress has begun to leave or perhaps I'm just reacting differently to it. I'm still seeing ways I need to change, but transformation isn't easy. Transformation is growing wings and growing wings is difficulty for an earth bound creature.

Perhaps I am too impatient. I want transformation to occur immediately without the stress, the tests and the difficulties. Transformation doesn't occur without difficulties. If the human soul didn't encounter difficulties on its physical journey, it would never achieve its true potential.

I think that sometimes I let my fear and my ego interfere in the process. The soul is the spiritual part of the individual. The soul is a gift from God and it seeks to return to the eternal beloved. The ego is the part that is tied to the material realm. It can't see beyond into the next world and so it fears. The ego does its best to stop the process of transformation. The ego doesn't want the soul to develop wings. However, if the soul doesn't develop wings it will be at a disadvantage in the next world.

Friday, May 02, 2008

I'm sleepy

Istiqlál (Independence), 5 Jamál (Beauty), 165 B.E. – Friday, May 2, 2008 about 3:24 PM PDT

I'm sleepy, throat is soar and my sinuses are draining. It isn't that I feel bad, it's just alergies. The wind has blow and gusted for the past week. I'm allergic to Oleanders and olive trees among other things.

I enjoy the wind when I don't have to go out. If I can stay home and watch the wind blow I'm happy. However, this past week I've been in it every day. It seems when I go out in the wind it is worse then when I stay in and watch it blow. I know that isn't true, but it seems that way.

This past week has been interesting with earthquakes in Reno and wild fires in California. There were some fires here in Las Vegas, but in residential areas. The were started by accident. I called in some meds for Mom and we have to go pick them up. I just looked out the window and the wind is blowing. I thought they said there would be no wind today. The sky seems cloudy this afternoon as well. This weather isn't helping me at all. It's warm outside, but the wind makes it seem cooler.

This is monsoon season in Las Vegas, but it hasn't rained. We did have water main break in front of the house. In fact there were several water main breaks in the past month. I don't know if it has anything to do with the breaks and the water district putting in new pipes, but my toilets flesh better now.

Thursday, May 01, 2008

A Windy Week in Las Vegas

Istijlál (Majesty), 4 Jamál (Beauty), 165 B.E. – Thursday, May 1, 2008 about 7:15 PM PDT

It's been a windy week in Las Vegas, earthquake after shocks in Reno. There is a wild fire raging in California. A typical spring in the west, all right, maybe earthquakes in Nevada isn't typical, but they do occur. We're suppose to be due for a big one.

I suppose an earthquake or two is to be expected with everything else going on this year. Gas prices are rising. They haven't quite reached $4.00 in Vegas yet (at least not at the gas stations I shop at), but they will. Gas prices will reach the $4.00 mark and more earthquakes will occur in Nevada. I need to get an emergancy kit prepared just in case the big one comes in my life time.

I'll have to check and see what I need in an earthquake emergency kit. Not that we'll be getting too far from Vegas with gas prices on the rise. I think I'll start keeping track of the miles I get per gallon. There was a time when I didn't worry abut earthquake emergency kits or how many miles I could go on a gallon of gas. Things sure change as you get older and wiser.

We have been lucky this year with the wind. In February we lost the elm, but it missed the garage. I am working Monday through Friday now. Mom is doing well even though she won't use the new microwave. We are slowly converting to longer lasting light bulbs and now I find out that I may have to dispose of the burned out ones different then I did the other type. I think that's all for this entry.