The Changes in my Life: Watching the Summer Olympics

Fidál (Grace), 19 Kalimát (Words), 169 BE – Tuesday, July 31, 2012 about 6:10 PM Pacific Time

Many things have changed in my life since the last summer Olympics. Mom has Alzheimer’s disease and does not want to watch the Olympic Games with me. At least, I think the issue is the Alzheimer’s disease. I always enjoyed watching the Olympic Games with Mom and Mom used to enjoy watching me.

I have not watched the Olympic Games much this year. I did not watch the opening ceremonies and when Mom watched with me, we always sit on the couch and watch the opening ceremonies. The few competitions I have watched I do not enjoy the way I used to when Mom watched them with me. I will attempt watching them again on Wednesday, but it just is not the same. I miss watching them with Mom.

This experience got me to thinking about some of the things Mom and I used to do together. I missed the things Mom and I enjoyed, but I am not sure I want to do them without her. I know the reason Mom acts the way she does. I know that she will only get worse and I want to cry because I miss the woman that my mother used to be. Maybe I need to focus more on the things Mom enjoys now. Maybe I need to find activities that I can enjoy by myself.

After a long and sleepless night in Las Vegas

Jamál (Beauty), 17 Kalimát (Words), 169 BE – Sunday, July 29, 2012 about 10:36 AM Pacific Time

After a long and sleepless night, a peanut butter sandwich, and two cups of leftover coffee warmed up in the microwave, I am finally functioning. I spent part of the night attempting to convince Mom that we could not leave the house in the middle of the night. Mom was restless and had dreams about going some place. I do not know where she wanted to go because she would not tell me.

I am not sure Mom knew where she wanted to go; she just knew she wanted to go somewhere. I gave her a pill about midnight to calm her down. After Mom went to sleep, then I had to deal with my own problems. I ate something yesterday that did not agree with me and I am not sure precisely what it was. I am going to have to begin keeping a food diary. At least that way I will know what foods are causing my stomach problems.

A food diary may not change the way I eat, but it will give me an idea of the foods I have to eat less regularly. I doubt that I stop eating the food I like, not matter what issues they cause, but I will know why my stomach acts up and I am in pain. Of course, the problem could be something other then food, so the next time I see my doctor I will take a list of the symptoms, with me to the doctor. Perhaps I should also keep a list of my emotions and stress events as well.

Thankful Thursday July 26, 2012 in Las Vegas

Istijlál (Majesty), 14 Kalimát (Words), 169 BE – Thursday, July 26, 2012 about 11:30 PM Pacific Time

It is Thankful Thursday again and time to list ten things I am grateful to have or experience. It has been a long and somewhat depressing week. Some days were cloudy with temperatures in the double digits and some days were sunny with temperatures in the triple digits. This may be part of the reason for my depression; I know it caused my allergies to act up.

Today I am grateful for

1. the few spoons I have left in the silverware drawer
2. having more then one coffee cup in the house
3. writing.com
4. the beautiful blue sky I can see out of my living room window
5. a clean garage to drive my car into
6. the Las Vegas Review-Journal
7. spaghetti with meat sauce (even canned meat sauce)
8. Mom slept through the night without any dreams waking her up
9. Cox Cable and an internet connection
10. a working washing machine in the house

Those are the thinks I am thankful for this week. I will have a different list next week. All though I suspect something concerning coffee will make the list. This is because coffee is a constant in my life. I am always grateful to have hot coffee, ice coffee, or café mocha. In fact, I think I will post this and then make me a hot cup of café mocha. Ever since I figured out how to make café mocha at home, I do not have to worry about going to a coffee shop to purchase it; the only thing I have to make sure I have is hot coco mix and coffee.

Spaghetti with meat sauce

‘Idál (Justice), 13 Kalimát (Words), 169 BE – Wednesday, July 25, 2012 about 5:25 PM Pacific Time

I fixed a batch of spaghetti with meat sauce today. It was spaghetti sauce from a can, but it tasted all right for a quick meal. I did not feel like making the meat sauce from scratch even if I had all the ingredients. Normally, I prefer my spaghetti sauce either homemade or from a jar.

The jars of spaghetti sauce taste better then the sauce from a can; however, I did not have any jars of spaghetti sauce in the pantry. The cans of spaghetti sauce gifts, so I used those today. I fixed enough spaghetti to last us until Saturday or Sunday (I hope), so I had to use two cans of the sauce to flavor the amount of spaghetti I cooked.

I am looking forward to having spaghetti for lunch tomorrow with a salad and maybe some iced tea or iced coffee. Fortunately, with the spaghetti all I have to do is warm it over in the microwave and add a little grated cheese. I have a grater and I can grate the cheese manually. Once the cheese and spaghetti are heated, it will taste good. I do not need very much to eat for lunch on Thursday, just something to keep me from getting hungry. Maybe I will fix me the same meal for Friday.

It must be the Weather in Las Vegas

Fidál (Grace), 12 Kalimát (Words), 169 BE – Tuesday, July 24, 2012 about 5:25 PM Pacific Time

I am not feeling like myself today. I do not want to do anything except remain home and do nothing. It took at least four cups of coffee this morning plus a bowl of cereal with milk and sugar. I was not hunger the rest of the day, but I still did not want to do anything. It must be the weather.

The temperature rose into the triple digits before the monsoonal moister and clouds rolled in. The temperature went back down into the double digits with high humidity, clouds, and wind. My allegories are acting up and I just want to be lazy; however, I did get some work accomplished this morning.

This morning I washed four sheets and hung them over chairs to dry. Then I washed my hair, but I do not think that made me feel better. My hair looks better, so I should be feeling better. I am not. I do not know what I am going to eat this evening because I am not hungry. I feel tired, not sleepy so I do not want to lye down. I do not want to watch television either. The only other things for me to do are wash clothes, surf the web, or write.

Sometime I wonder: Thoughts about Alzheimer’s disease

Kamál (Perfection), 11 Kalimát (Words), 169 BE – Monday, July 23, 2012 about 4:20 PM Pacific Time

Sometimes, when I am talking to Mom I wonder what she is talking about; this afternoon for instance. Mom came home and she was in a grumpy mood. She ask why she was locked in. However, she was in her wheelchair and was unlocked. She could have been referring to the way we secure the wheelchair we when she is in the van. She could have been referring to something that happened in her childhood. She could have been referring to a dream or an illusion. I have no idea.

Sometimes, I wonder if Mom thinks she is talking to me (her daughter) or to her mother. I know that sometimes, especially when she wakes up from a bad dream she thinks I am her mother. When Mom needs something in the middle of the night, she usually calls me by my name. There are times, when she does call for her mother and when I go into her bedroom to see what she wants, she acts as if I am her mother.

The Alzheimer’s disease is the problem. She does not remember that her parents are dead. She still wants to see them. Another thing is that Mom does not realize where she is living. Sometimes, she asks when she is going home. There is no use informing her that she is home because Mom insists otherwise. At these times, I just tell her tomorrow. Mom forgets she ask the question and the next day she is worried about something else.

Stressful Sunday: My Last Weekend Entry

Jamál (Beauty), 10 Kalimát (Words), 169 BE – Sunday, July 22, 2012 about 4:15 PM Pacific Time

This butterfly wants to go back into her cocoon. Weekends have become extremely stressful and I find it difficult to write without going into a rant. Therefore, unless I can find another solution, this will be my last weekend entry. In fact, I am considering not going online at all on the weekends.

I will make blog entries Monday through Friday, but skip the entries on Saturday and Sunday because I cannot focus on writing. The only things I have focused on today were taking care of Mom, cooking, and washing dishes. I still have several things to accomplish before going to bed tonight. I am tired and I cannot take a nap this afternoon.

I do not have any help with Mom on the weekends and focusing on anything except taking care of Mom is too stressful. Therefore, something has to go, therefore, it is the weekend blog entries and getting online on Saturday and Sunday. If I do post anything on the weekends, it will be links to intriguing websites or pictures, but nothing else and those posting may occur at midnight when I cannot sleep because of a stressful day. If I cannot sleep then I usually sit down at the computer and write or surf the web.

The clouds are rolling into Las Vegas

Jalál (Glory), 9 Kalimát (Words), 169 BE – Saturday, July 21, 2012 about 4:15 PM Pacific Time

The clouds are rolling into Las Vegas. I have not been outside since I rolled the trashcan back to the garage after the garbage trucks picked up the trash this morning. I know the humidity is up because I can see the clouds, but I do not know how much humidity or how high the temperatures. I have not been watching the local news today or the weather channel. Today I am watching CNN or MSNBC. Right now, I am watching CNN.

I am not ready to write why I am watch CNN or anything about what happened in Colorado. I am still attempting to process the information. Eventually, I will be able to process what I am hearing and then I will write something about. It will either be a blog entry or a poem; probably a poem, but for now I am focusing on the news, the local weather, and what to fix Mom for dinner. I know that is an odd reaction, but if I let myself focus completely on the shooting in Colorado I will cry, which is something I cannot let myself do in front of my mother.

I am not sure how much Mom will comprehend. If I mention Colorado, Mom is going to worry about my brother and his family. There is no use upsetting Mom about them or anything else in her condition. Mom’s Alzheimer’s disease has affected every aspect of my life. Before I tell her about anything or put the hearing aids in her ears on the weekends, I consider what she may hear on the news. She has her hearing aids in now and the news does not seem to be affecting her, so I do not know how much she understands about what is going on.

Technical Issues: Relearning a skill I forgot

Istijlál (Majesty), 7 Kalimát (Words), 169 BE – Thursday, July 19, 2012 about 7:30 PM

Perhaps, skill is not the right word in this context, but I am sticking with it. Anyway, for some time now I have been attempting to do a screen capture while using Google Chrome. Despite the fact, that I sometimes have issues with “webpage unresponsive” I like Chrome and I do not want to change to another browser.

I knew how to do a screen capture in my old browser or at least I did when I used it all the time. As I said or implied, we forget what we do not use all the time. When I downloaded Chrome, I had never used it before and I am still learning how to use it. Today, after searching the internet to find the solution, I learned how to perform a screen capture in Google Chrome.

Performing a screen capture in Chrome is easy. You do a shift prt scr and then copy the results into either paint or Word. I still cannot figure out why I thought that using shift prt scr would not work in Chrome. Oh well, I have more important things to worry about now.

The next technical problem I have to solve is the reason my virus scan takes between five and ten hours to check my systems. I will write more about this in a later entry.

Weary Wednesday: Technology and Frustration

‘Idál (Justice), 6 Kalimát (Words), 169 BE – Wednesday, July 18, 2012 about Sunset Pacific Time

It is Wednesday, I am tired and I am frustrated. I am frustrated with technology. The virus scan took ten hours to scan my system today, which means I accomplished nothing online. I accomplished no writing; however, I can make up some of the writing this evening. At least, I could if my system ran at a decent speed. I am frustrated and I am repeating myself.

The one thing I did accomplish today had nothing to do with writing or working online. I cleaned the fabric softener dispenser in my washing machine. I took the dispenser out of the machine. I put in a bucket of hot water with some laundry detergent and I let it soak while I read my paper. After letting the dispenser soak, I then cleaned the fabric softener gunk out of it. The dispenser is not clean and ready for me to put fabric softener in it again.

I still have to wash out the tub of the washer because I noticed there were some stains, but I think those will come out with a bit of work. I may finish cleaning the washing machine tomorrow. It depends on when I start the virus scan on my computer. Since it took ten hours for the scan to run today, I expect it to take that long tomorrow. Therefore, I will do something else while it is scanning my system.

If I start the virus scan, running tonight at 11:36 PM (this is when it should begin rather then 4:45 AM like it did this morning) then it should be finished by about 9:36 AM. I am not going to count on this, of course, after all I am dealing with technology and outdated technology at that. I can only hope and pray that the scan finishes by 9:36 AM.

A Not Quite so Miserable Monday in Las Vegas

Kamál (Perfection), 4 Kalimát (Words), 169 BE – Monday, July 16, 2012 about 7:15 PM Pacific Time

It’s Monday afternoon and I’m feeling better. I’m not as nauseous as I was on Sunday. I’m still a little weak from not eating anything on Sunday, but I didn’t think I could keep any food down so there wasn’t any use in me eating. Mom ate everything I put in front of her on Sunday and most of that was easy to fix or pour out of a box.

It’s Monday afternoon and I don’t want to fall asleep in front of the computer the way I did this morning. After this morning, I’m going to buy me a chair with arms to put in front of the computer, that way if I do fall asleep then I won’t fall out of the chair.

Monday is not quite as miserable as Sunday because I ate a couple of hamburger patties this morning. I’m still a bit thirsty so I think I’ll get me a glass of ice water or maybe a cold soda. I know I don’t want any coffee, not even ice coffee, this afternoon. I’m not sure if I’m fully recovered from my illness, whatever it was, but I’m on my way to recovering.

I used to look forward to Saturday

Jalál (Glory), 2 Kalimát (Words), 169 BE – Saturday, July 14, 2012 about 9:00 AM Pacific Time

I used to look forward to Saturday. When I was a child, I looked forward to it because it was a nonschool day. It was a day I could spend at my Grandparents’ house, where I could feed the chickens and gather the eggs. In spring and summer, it was a my Grandparents’ took us to the Lake, where we could swim, boat ride and water ski or watch Grandpa water ski.

When I was in the workforce, Saturday was a day off. It was a day I didn’t have to go to work. I could spend Saturday anyway I wanted. I could go to a movie. I could go shopping. I could go out to eat. I could stay home and write. I could sleep late on Saturday morning and stay up late on Saturday night.

I don’t look forward to Saturday any more because it is the same routine every weekend. On Saturday morning, I get up and turn on the computer to make sure the virus scan checks for viruses and other malware. I take my thyroid tablet and then I roll the trashcan to the curb and pick up the morning; today I also took the recyclables to the curb. When I get back into the house, I check the computer to make sure it didn’t go into hibernation while the virus scan is running.

After checking the computer, I check the coffee to see if I have a cup or two leftover from the day before. If I have coffee leftover, I pour a mug and put it in the microwave, but I don’t turn the microwave because by this time I hear Mom either calling my name or crying. This morning she called my name. I get Mom up and begin giving her the morning meds. It is difficult to give Mom all her meds at once because she will not swallow all of them at the same time. I give her the first med and then I get her something to eat. I could go on and on about my mundane, but I won’t because I have to see about Mom and then check a couple of websites.

Today’s Senior Moment in Las Vegas

Istiqlál (Independence), 1 Kalimát (Words), 169 BE – Friday, July 13, 2012 about 4:20 PM Pacific Time

I had a Senior Moment earlier this afternoon and it scared me. All right, I am 65 and I can expect a Senior Moment now and then. However, this one really shook me up. I was doing a survey and forgot my age. I could remember the year I was born, but not how old I was on my last birthday. I could also remember the date of my last birthday.

Since I needed to know my age for the survey, I used the calculator on my cell phone to figure out my age. I do not think there is anything to worry about now, the momentary memory lose was just a brain hiccup ... an attack of “C.R.S.” I did remember how to use the calculator. I did remember the year I was born (1946). I did remember that my last birthday was December 24, 2011.

I think the best way to handle today’s little memory lapse is not to worry. I doubt that it is an indication of Alzheimer’s disease. It is probably an indication stress or of nothing at all. Everyone has memory lapse now and then. These memory lapses normally do not mean anything except stress. I need to take a deep breath and laugh.

Clouds and humidity in Las Vegas

Istijlál (Majesty), 19 Rahmat (Mercy), 169 BE – Thursday, July 12, 2012 about 7:15 PM Pacific Time

Cooler temperatures

With clouds and humidity

It felt good at first

We have clouds and cooler temperatures in Las Vegas. We have clouds and humidity in Las Vegas. When I first went out this morning it felt nice, not too hot, but after a while, it became muggy. I noticed the humidity more even though the temperature was not over 110.

Midweek Reflections on Care Giving

‘Idál (Justice), 18 Rahmat (Mercy), 169 BE – Wednesday, July 11, 2012 about 11:35 AM Pacific Time

Sometimes I feel so alone. I know I am not alone, there are hundreds, perhaps thousands, of people just like me who are carrying for loved one with Alzheimer’s or some other form of dementia. It is just that on mornings like this, when Mom wants to cry and one or more of her physical medical issues manifest itself, I feel alone and disconnected from humanity. All caregivers encounter this emotion when they feel overwhelmed by their loved one’s mental and physical problems.

Besides short-term memory lose, which goes along with Alzheimer’s disease, Mom is afflicted with emotional or anger issues, Macular degeneration, hearing lose, urinary incontinence, and fecal incontinence. Mom has hearing aids to alleviate some of the hearing lose, but most of the time she objects to wearing them. I put the hearing aids in each morning after her bath and then pray that she keeps them in all day or if she does take them out then they end up in her purse.

Each morning, before it is even time to get her up, I give her a pill to help with the agitation. I have to get her to sit up so that she can take the pill because if I simply put it in her mouth without a drink of water she will spit the pill out. If she spits the pill out then it has no effect upon her moods.

Monday through Friday, Mom goes to an adult daycare center. Monday through Friday, the hospice she sends a C.N.A. to give her a shower (which Mom is not crazy about, but it is necessary). After the shower, the bus from the daycare center picks Mom up and takes her to the center. Mom enjoys going to the center. Mom enjoys herself when she is at the daycare center. Whenever I drop in Mom is having a good time.

A Toasty Tuesday in Las Vegas

Fidál (Grace), 17 Rahmat (Mercy), 169 BE – Tuesday, July 10, 2012 about 7:30 PM Pacific Time

A toasty Tuesday

One hundred fourteen degrees

Extreme heat warning

It is hot in Las Vegas today. The temperatures reach 114 degrees in the shade and there is shade in Las Vegas. There is shade in my garage and that is where I parked my car. There is shade in my yard because I do not have the money to have the pine tree removed.

I did not go out today because I went out yesterday. There was an extreme heat warning yesterday as well. However, since I did not look at the news before I went out I did not know about the warning. It would not have made any difference because I had already made up my mind to go to the Commemoration of the Martyrdom of the Bab.

There is an extreme heat warning for tomorrow as well, but I am not sure whether I am going out of the house. I will have to give that some serious thought, but to do that I have to clean the car out before I have it washed. I think I will clean the car out on Wednesday and then have it washed on Thursday or Friday.

I attended a Holy Day Commemoration today

Kamál (Perfection), 16 Rahmat (Mercy), 169 BE – Monday, July 9, 2012 about 7:15 PM Pacific Time

Today, I attended the Commemoration of the Martyrdom of the Bab. It’s been a long time since I had the opportunity to attend a Holy Day Commemoration or Celebration. It’s been a long time since I attended a nineteen-day Feast. I sat in the audience, took in the spiritual atmosphere, and wrote two poems. I enjoyed the opportunity so much that I didn’t even mind the drive back in the heat.

While I was at the center, I saw some old friends and met some new friends. I’m looking forward to the next opportunity to attend an event at the Las Vegas Baha’i Center. It may be a while because the only time I have to attend anything is Monday through Friday between 9:00 AM and 2:30 PM, but I know the opportunity will eventually come. All I have to do is have a little patience.

Attempting an entry at least every other day

Istiqlál (Independence), 13 Rahmat (Mercy), 169 BE – Friday, July 6, 2012 about 7:30 PM Pacific Time

It is late Friday afternoon. I didn’t make an entry yesterday, so I have to make one today. I am attempting an entry every other day. I would like to make an entry everyday, but “life happens” and sometimes interferes with blog entries.

Yesterday, I went to the wound care hospital so that the doctor could check my left leg. The bandage was removed a couple of weeks ago and the doctor wanted to see how the leg was getting on. I don’t have to go back unless it weeps or another sore occurs. I do have to wear compression-stocking everyday, so I have to go to the medical supply store next week to get another pair. I need an extra pair because it takes several hours for one pair to dry.

Compression stockings

Interesting experiences

At age 65

Making an entry every other day may be better. The entries could be more exciting. The entries could be more interesting. I can plan the entries and that may make the difference between boring and exciting. There has to be another advantage to making entries every other day, but I can’t remember what it is.

Happy 4th of July

‘Idál (Justice), 11 Rahmat (Mercy), 169 BE – Wednesday, July 4, 2012 about 4:40 PM Pacific Time

Fireworks in the sky

It is the Fourth of July

Safe celebration

I wish everyone a Happy Fourth of July and Happy Independence Day.

Mom and I stayed home today. We ate hot hotdogs, watermelon, potato salad, and cherry berry pie with ice cream.

I Remember Life without a cell phone and now I am never without one

Fidál (Grace), 10 Rahmat (Mercy), 169 BE – Tuesday, July 3, 2012 about 7:15 PM Pacific Time

I remember life without a cell phone. I had a watch that I wound everyday. I used an alarm clock to wake me up. I had to wait until I was home to make a phone call or check my voice mail. I remember life without a cell phone, but now I cannot live without one.

I carry my phone with me wherever I go. At home, I wear a dress with a pocket so that I can answer it immediately. Even when I go to get Mom up of a morning, I have my cell phone with me. This is a good thing because if Mom should slip to the floor (I put a “gate” belt around he waist) when I am transferring her from the bed to the wheelchair, I can call the non-emergency number and get paramedics to lift her off the floor.

I even take my cell phone to bed with me. Most of the time I put it on the nightstand near the bed, but not always. Sometimes I wake up and find the cell phone in my right hand because I wake up in the middle of the night and reach for the phone to see what time it is. If I have a dream, then I write the dream in a journal and place the time I woke up at the bottom of the entry. I guess when I lay back down; I don’t put the phone back on the nightstand.

At other times, I hear Mom crying. Then I pick up the cell phone and take it with me when I go to see why she is crying. I never go into Mom’s room without taking the cell phone with me because I may need it to call the hospice that provides in home care, the non-emergency number if I need help getting Mom into bed or the emergency number in case I encounter an intruder. In this case, when I get back to bed, I’m just too tired to put the phone back on the nightstand.

On July 1, 2012 in Las Vegas

Jamál (Beauty), 8 Rahmat (Mercy), 169 BE – Sunday, July 1, 2012 about 3:25 PM Pacific Time

It is July 1, 2012. The year is half over. Mom is home today and she had a difficult time this morning. Mom seems happier this afternoon, but I cannot sit down for more then five or six minutes at a time because she needs something. This is all right when I am composing blog entries or writing stories and poems because I need interruptions at these times. However, it is difficult to make online payments when I am listening for interruptions.

I have to set up the mortgage payment sometime today. I plan on going to the bank and grocery store tomorrow and I am not sure what time I will be back to the house. Therefore, I have to set up the payment today or rather this evening.

The reason I like interruptions when I am writing is that interruptions helps me think when I am working on a story. Sometimes I can be a bit stubborn when I confront a problem with a story and do not want to leave until I solve the issue. The problem with this is that it is better to get away from a story when the plot or the characters give me difficulties. So when Mom is home I try to work on a story, poem, or blog entry rather then doing other things. In addition, my computer is in the living room with Mom.

A sleepy Saturday afternoon in Las Vegas

Jalál (Glory), 7 Rahmat (Mercy), 169 BE – Friday-Saturday, June 30, 2012 about 2:10 PM Pacific Time

Sleepy Saturday

Afternoon nap inviting

Don’t want to lye down

I’m sleepy, but I don’t want to lye down. I have too much work to do to sleep. I need something to keep me awake, but I don’t want to make any more coffee. I didn’t make coffee this morning because I had half a carafe left over from yesterday. I think there is still a cup left in the carafe, so I will warm it over; however, I’m not sure that it will keep me awake.

I hear people complaining all the time about coffee keeping them awake, but that isn’t my experience. It’s not the coffee that keeps me awake, it the worrying and weird noises in my neighborhood. The worrying I can dissipate by placing the situation in God’s hands. It’s the weird noise that’s a little more difficult to handle, especially since I’m not willing to go outside and investigate. It doesn’t seem logical to get up out of bed, go outside, and investigate a weird noise when 99 time out of 100 you won’t find the cause.

I’m going to reheat the remaining coffee and then see if I can find something to eat. Perhaps a little food will keep me awake. Sugar usually keeps me awake, so perhaps I will warm up one of the toaster pastries I bought when I went to the grocery store on Thursday.

A brother living in Colorado Springs

‘Idál (Justice), 4 Rahmat (Mercy), 169 BE – Wednesday, June 27, 2012 about 6:50 PM Pacific Time

One of my brothers lives near Colorado Springs, so I’m keeping an eye on the fires. I received several texts from him yesterday, but only one today. He also posted a picture of the fire on my Facebook wall, so I think him and his family is all right, but I’m not sure where they are at this time.

I just checked my e-mail and there was another Facebook messages, so their all right. He is asking for prayer for the people affected by the fire. I hope anyone reading this will remember all the folks in Colorado Springs and other cities affected by the fire.

Tired on Tuesday afternoon in Las Vegas

Fidál (Grace), 3 Rahmat (Mercy), 169 BE – Tuesday, June 26, 2012 about Sunset Pacific Time

It’s been a long day and I’m tired. I’m not sure why I’m tired, but it could be that I didn’t take a nap today. I’m not looking forward to going out tomorrow, I would rather stay home. However, if I don’t go across town to pay a bill on Wednesday, I’ll have to do it on Thursday. That might be better anyway. I’ll have to think about it.

One of the reason’s I’m tired is that I woke up about 1:55 AM because I heard Mom crying. I went into her bedroom to see why she was crying. As usual she couldn’t tell me. I think she had a bad dream, but I’m not sure. I finally convinced Mom to go back to sleep, but by then there was no use me going to sleep.

Perhaps I’ll wait until Thursday to go out. All I have to do is drive across town to pay a bill and then go to the grocery store. Neither of those tasks will take long, it’s just that I don’t like doing more then one then when I have to deal with triple digit temperature. I’ll have to see how I feel tomorrow morning.

I hear Mom crying

Kamál (Perfection), 2 Rahmat (Mercy), 169 BE – Monday, June 25, 2012 about 7:10 PM Pacific Time

I hear Mom crying,

so I get up and go check:

did she have another dream?

It’s going to be another sleepless night. There is no use going to bed, so I’ll lye down on the couch or the love seat. I don’t sleep well, listening for Mom. Sometimes it’s her tears; I strain to hear her crying in her sleep or when she wakes up from a bad dream.

It’s the Alzheimer’s disease. Mom can’t tell the difference between a dream and reality. She has a dream and she thinks it’s real. She reacts to the dream as if it were real. Sometimes her reactions to the dreams are amusing. Sometimes they make me cry.

Anyway, I get up. I go into her bedroom and I attempt to calm her. I attempt to reassure her that I love her. If this doesn’t calm her then I give her something for agitation because she needs the sleep. I know this is a symptom of Alzheimer’s disease.

I hear Mom crying,

so I get up and go check:

“Mom, I love you!”

It is hot outside in Las Vegas

Jamál (Beauty), 1 Rahmat (Mercy), 169 BE – Sunday, June 24, 2012 about 2:30 PM

it is a dry heat

oak limbs blowing in the wind

birds stay in the shade

I went out to the garage a few minutes ago. It is hot and dry out there, with a dry wind blowing. I do not remember the wind blowing this morning, but it is blowing this afternoon. I still have to go out to the garage a couple more times today and I am not looking forward to that short and hot trip.

I did not put sunscreen on the last time I went out, I think I will the next time. Normally, the only time I put on sunscreen is when I drive across Las Vegas or go to the grocery store. I have to go out tomorrow, so I hope I have enough sunscreen in tube I am using. I do have some spray on sunscreen, but I have not used it because I think I am allergic to the spray on.

Pork Chops and Potato Salad for Lunch in Las Vegas

Jalál (Glory), 19 Núr (Light), 169 BE – Saturday, June 23, 2012 1:00 PM Pacific Time

I bought pork chops and mustard potato salad when I went to the grocery store on Friday. I fixed two pork chops for lunch, one for Mom and one for me. I also gave each of us a helping of potato salad. We ate between 11:30 and noon. I am still full, but Mom is hungry again. I have to figure out what to fix her.

The problem is Mom’s short-term memory loss. Mom forgets she ate and therefore she gets hungry. When Mom gets hungry, I have to find her something to nibble on otherwise she sits and cries. It does no matter how often I explain to her that she just ate, since she does not remember eating she does not think she ate and this explains why she now weight 140 lbs.

I have to find her something to eat that is not fattening. I have ice cream in the freezer we were going to snake on this afternoon, but that is fattening. All though, perhaps if I give Mom a little ice cream she it will satisfy her for an hour or two (I hope). I have to figure out what Mom can eat that is not fattening. At this point, Mom’s weight is close to ideal for her height

Thursday Morning Wasted ~ A Rant

Istijlál (Majesty), 17 Núr (Light), 169 BE – Thursday, June 21, 2012 about 11:30 AM Pacific Time

I am tired. I spent the entire morning dealing with nonresponsive programs and a computer speed that would loose a race with a snail. I am sick of dealing with outdated technology. I rebooted my system twice and it did not help; in fact, rebooting did not have any effect except to prevent me from getting any work accomplished online.

I have a digital camera, but I cannot down load the drivers to my computer because the disk our too small for my outdated disk drives. I cannot find the drivers online and, even if I could, downloading them would probably cause more speed issues.

I am tired (and I am repeating myself). I am frustrated (obviously). I cannot get a new computer or any other technology this month because I have $105.00 worth of prescriptions waiting for me to pick up Friday. On the bright side, the prescriptions are 90 refills which means I do not have to worry about prescriptions for the next three months. However, I am not sure I have enough in the bank to pick up all my prescriptions.

I have been so busy dealing with technical issues that I have not checked the balance in my account today. I will post this document as soon as the computer finishes saving, but I am not sure when that will be since it takes the computer at least five minutes (I may be exaggerating because it could only seem like five minutes) to save anything.

Summer Solstice eve in Las Vegas

Fidál (Grace), 15 Núr (Light), 169 BE – Tuesday, June 19, 2012 about 12:50 PM Pacific Time

Tomorrow, Wednesday, June 20, 2012, is the summer solstice. At 7:09 PM Eastern Daylight Time (4:09 PM Pacific Daylight Time) summer begins. It already feels like summer here in Las Vegas, which is on Pacific Time rather then Mountain Time.

On June 1, the temperature in Las Vegas was 105 degrees, which prompted an excessive heat warning for the Las Vegas valley. I can testify that it was excessively hot because I had to get out of my cool house to drive across the city. Since then we have had several triple digit days and, with the first day of summer tomorrow, it will only get worse.

I am not looking forward to more triple digit temperatures. I do not have working air conditioning in my car (as anyone who has read this blog before knows). I have to go to the grocery store sometime this week. There is no getting out of it, so I may as well go either Wednesday or Thursday. I will see how I feel tomorrow after hydrating myself the rest of the day.

If I hydrate myself today and then tomorrow take a couple of frozen bottles of water with me when I leave the house, it will help keep me cool. Lately, I have found myself getting a bit cranky if I get too warm when I leave the house. I want a car with working air conditioning.

Almost a lost weekend in Las Vegas

Kamál (Perfection), 14 Núr (Light), 169 BE – Monday, June 18, 2012 about 7:30 PM Pacific Time

It was almost a lost weekend. I did very little except focus on taking care of Mom, which is full time job in itself. Getting Mom into and out of the wheelchair takes energy and effort. I use a “gate” belt to help transfer her from the bed to the wheelchair and to get her from the wheelchair to the toilet.

Mom weighs approximately 140 lbs. so if she falls on the floor, I have to call the paramedics to help get her up. Fortunately, this past weekend I was able to transfer her from one place to another without much difficulty. Mom was able to help a little bit by using her walker for short distances. Still it was tiring.

I did some writing over the weekend. Writing relaxes me and helps me cope. I made a couple of blog entries in my writing.com blog Snow Melt. I also completed editing the June 20 edition of the writing.com fantasy newsletter. That was about all the writing I accomplished Saturday and Sunday. I am tired, but I am not sleepy. Perhaps I will go to writing.com and do a few reviews.

An Alzheimer’s Morning: “Oh, no!”

Istiqlál (Independence), 11 Núr (Light), 169 BE – Friday, June 15, 2012 about 9:50 AM Pacific Time

It’s an Alzheimer’s morning; this is how I refer to it when Mom is upset, crying, angry, or agitated and this morning, she is crying and saying “Oh, no!”

“Mom,” I ask her, “what are you crying about?”

“Nothing,” she replies or “I don’t know.”

Mom begins crying and then a few minutes later, she says “Oh, no!”

Again, I ask, “Mom, what is wrong?”

“Nothing,” she replies. I fix her a bowl of dry cereal and this stops the crying for a few minutes, but again she says “Oh, no~” I adjust the dolls on her lap; however, this doesn’t seem to help.

The “Oh, no,” conversation could go on all morning or all day. I can’t get may to why she is upset because she doesn’t know herself. I’ve gen Mom all her morning medication, including the pill for agitation. I don’t know what else to do.

Mom moves the wheelchair with her feet. She tries to leave the room. I ask, “Mom, where are you going?”

“Anywhere,” she replies.

I pull the wheelchair back to the couch. Fortunately, if she tries to open the front door, the alarm system will say, “Front door open.”

The hospice C.N.A. came to give Mom her bath. Then about ten or fifteen minutes later, the bus from the daycare center picked her up. By the time the van got here, Mom was in a good mood and wanted to go outside. She didn’t cry or get upset when the driver pushed her wheelchair to the bus.

Primary Election Day in Las Vegas

Fidál (Grace), 8 Núr (Light), 169 BE – Tuesday, June 12, 2012 about Sunset Pacific Time

Today was the primary election in Las Vegas and in the rest of Nevada as well. However, the only city I am interested in is Las Vegas. I voted today. I am registered nonpartisan, so the ballet was not very long and consisted of only judges, but I voted anyway.

This morning, I went to the doctor and then on the way home stopped off at my polling place to vote. I parked my car in the shade of a tree because it was hot out and I did not want my car get too much warmer while I was voting.

I voted in the primary election because it is a family tradition. My grandparents voted in every election. My mother, when she was capable of making a logical decision, voted in every election. Therefore, I feel it is my duty to vote in every election.

I used to work the election polls, but since I became Mom’s caregiver, I no longer do that type of work. Mom goes to the daycare from 8:00 AM to 4:00 PM and the polls are open from 7:00 AM to 7:00 PM. I have to be home with Mom before she leaves for the daycare center and when she gets home, so I cannot work the polls. However, I can still vote.

A Baby-boomer comes to terms with her mortality

Kamál (Perfection), 7 Núr (Light), 169 BE – Monday, June 11, 2012 about 5:20 PM Pacific Time

I thought I’d come to terms with this years ago. I purchased a plot, pre-paid for a burial plan, and, I think, I even picked out a casket. Now I find out that if, I choose cremation, I can have my ashes carried into space. As much as, I want to go into space, I’m not having my body cremated just so my ashes can be carried into orbit.

All right, it’s the cremation idea that bothers me. If my entire body, uncremated, could be carried into space then I don’t think I would object to the price. I’m sure I don’t want my body cremated; I don’t care how dignified or economical the cremation process. I do not want my body cremated! I want my body put in a casket and buried in the ground. Or I want my body put in a casket and shot into orbit.

I’m 65 years old, so I know that eventually the angel of death will sever the cord that holds my body to my soul. At that point, my body will begin the process of decomposition and my soul will ascend into the spiritual realm. Once my soul begins its ascent into the worlds of God, it won’t need my body any more. Then place the casket containing my body in a grave or shot it into orbit, but don’t cremate my body. I’m sure my soul wouldn’t like that idea.

The bandage is off my left leg

Jalál (Glory), 5 Núr (Light), 169 BE – Saturday, May 9, 2012 about Sunset Pacific Time

It’s late Saturday afternoon of an interesting and stressful week. The doctor took the bandage off my left leg on Thursday. At this point, my leg feels fine, but I haven’t been out of the house since Thursday. I haven’t worn my compression stockings since Thursday. Normally, the only time I wear them is when I go out for shopping or a doctor’s appointment.

I suspect I may be allergic to the fabric in the compression stockings. That would explain why my left leg gets sores on ir and why the sores weep. However, I’m not sure because my right leg doesn’t get sores that weep, but it does get red and itch when I wear the compression stockings.

I have to go out Monday because I have to deposit a check (I can’t do that with my phone) and go to the grocery store. Then on Tuesday, I have an appointment with my doctor. I’m planning on wearing my compression stockings on one or both of those days. If I am allergic to the material in the stocking then my leg will begin weeping again and I’m not looking forward to the prospect.

I don’t like having knee-high bandage on my leg. Perhaps I’m worrying over nothing. The problem with my left leg could have more to do with my age and the problems with my veins then it does with the compression stockings that I wear.

My mother thought her pills were apple seeds

Istiqlál (Independence), 4 Núr (Light), 169 BE – Friday, May 8, 2012 about 7:35 PM Pacific Time

Mom takes medication better in the afternoon then the morning. In the afternoon, I can put the pills in my mother’s hand and she will put them in her mouth and swallow them. In the morning, Mom doesn’t want to take her meds. I have begun putting them in applesauce because she normally swallows without a problem.

This morning, I put one of the meds in a spoon of applesauce and she tried to take it out of her mouth. I ask her not to, but she said it was a seed. I finally convinced her it wasn’t a seed. Once she was satisfied that the pill wasn’t an apple seed, she swallowed it without any trouble.

I like to use applesauce because it is easier for Mom to swallow. After I give her the applesauce, I give her a glass of water and most of the time she drinks the water without any difficulties. If Mom continues to think the medication is a seed, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I suppose I’ll have to find something else to hid her medication in so she will take it. Taking care of someone with Alzheimer’s disease is interesting.

I am walking like a zombie

‘Idál (Justice), 2 Núr (Light), 169 BE – Wednesday, May 6, 2012 about 3:40 Pacific Time

I have a three layer, knee-high bandage on my left leg. I have osteoarthritis in my right knee. The best way to describe my walk is stiff and zombie-like. It looks as if I’m in pain, but most of the time I’m stiff. It is an effort, especially this time of year in Las Vegas.

I try to park as close to the door of a supermarket or bank as possible, but most of the time the parking closest to the doors are full. In these situations, I have to take whatever parking place I can. When I go to the grocery story, I usually try to park close to where the shopping carts are because I can lean on the cart as I push it into the store.

I haven’t tried the motorized carts the supermarkets have yet, but I may in the near future. The problem I find with those carts is that I can reach only the middle and lower shelves when sitting in them. I like to buy thing from the top shelves, so using the cart means I have to get up and down. I’d rather just push a regular cart rather then get up and down.

Pushing the shopping cart doesn’t change the way I walk. I still walk like a zombie. I expect I will have the stiff zombie shamble the rest of my lie. As I’ve said before, getting old isn’t for wimps.

Water in Las Vegas

Fidál (Grace), 1 Núr (Light), 169 BE – Tuesday, May 5, 2012 about 6:00 PM

It’s Tuesday afternoon and the Las Vegas Valley Water district is considering raising the water bill again. A few months ago, they added an infrastructure charge of approximately $5.00. This brought our water bill up to about $20.00.

All right, $20.00 a month doesn’t seem like a lot. Actually, $20.00 isn’t a lot of money, I put $20.00 of gas in my car about every two weeks (it doesn’t fill the tank up; if I filled the gas tank up every month it would cost about $50.00). The problem is, that Mom and I are living on a fixed income and those $20.00 bills add up.

If the water bill goes up another $5.00 or $10.00, we’ll have to cut down on something else. I’m not sure what that would be. Right now, we do laundry everyday. If cut down to once or twice a week that just means doing more loads on those days. I suppose I could cut down to small loads instead of large loads. That would work unless I’m washing bed linen.

Oh well, I’ll figure out something. We’ve already cut down on going out to eat. I can use more coupons when it comes to buying laundry detergent. When I use the coupons, buy the smallest bottles or jugs that the coupons allows. I have a while to consider my options because the next reading of the meter is June 17, which means the next bill is due sometime in July; probably around July 18. However, the bill will arrive in my mailbox or inbox about June 23. Until then I will continue washing clothes as I normally do.

A trip to the supermarket in Las Vegas

Kamál (Perfection), 19 ‘Azamat (Grandeur), 169 BE – Monday, June 4, 2012 about 9:55 PM Pacific Time

I went to the supermarket this morning. The trip this morning wasn’t as tiring as the ones I made the last couple of weeks. The reason is that the only stop I made was to the supermarket. Therefore, from now on I will plan grocery-shopping trips as the only stop I make that day.

It’s difficult to shop for food or anything when I’m tired. I think the problem is that I have difficulty walking. Wearing compression stocking help, but only if the supermarket is the only stop I make. I know I could use the motorized shopping carts the stores have, but sometimes the trip to the grocery store is only exercise I get. It’s also difficult to get up if I set down too long.

Sometimes I like to buy the items on the top shelves rather then those on the middle or bottom shelves. As long as I can lean on a shopping cart, I’m usually able to make it through a shopping trip; especially if the supermarket is the only stop I make that day. As I’ve said before, getting old isn’t for wimps.

A good Sunday afternoon in Las Vegas

Jamál (Beauty), 18 ‘Azamat (Grandeur), 169 BE – Sunday, June 3, 2012 about 5:45 PM Pacific Time

It’s a good Sunday afternoon in Las Vegas, which is nice because this morning wasn’t that great. However, after taking a short nap on the couch the day improved quite a bit. I sat down on the couch to watch T.V. and went to sleep. Mom was sitting in her wheelchair beside the couch, but she didn’t wake me up.

It wasn’t a long nap, it was just long enough for me to rest. I do this every day, so I think the best solution is to lie down rather then sit and watch T.V. because I always go to sleep that way in the afternoon.

It’s a good Sunday afternoon in Las Vegas, Mom walks better then she did the last two day. She seems to be feeling better because she wanted to get out of her wheelchair without the walker. She also decided she wanted to go to bed early. She still has another pill to take, but not until latter this evening. I’ll have to wake her up when I give it to her.

I don’t expect to have difficulty giving her the pill because today she takes her meds without an argument. Usually, Mom argues about taking the meds. She also wants to chew them instead of swallowing them with water. The problem with that is that two of the meds are in capsule form and she should not chew them. Oh well, that’s life.

Saturday at home, June 2, 2012, in Las Vegas

Jalál (Glory), 17 ‘Azamat (Grandeur), 169 BE – Saturday, June 2, 2012 about 1:00 PM Pacific Time

I’m spending Saturday at home because Mom doesn’t go to the daycare center today. Normally, I miss going somewhere, anywhere, but not today. I spent all morning on Friday, driving from the east side of Las Vegas to the west side and back again. Today I’m happy to remain home and indoors.

On Friday, June 1, the weather bureau released an “Extreme Heat Warning” and I can testify to the fact that we did have extreme heat on Friday. It effect me more then other people because I don’t have working air conditioning I had the driver’s side window rolled down all the time I was driving. In fact, I’m not sure I rolled it up when I got home, so I have to go out after while and make sure that it’s rolled up.

Extreme heat warning

A good day to remain indoors

Sipping ice water

This morning, I fixed beans and ham. The beans were hot, probably not the best things to eat on a hot day, I enjoyed eating them. I used honey baked home pieces to season the beans. Mom enjoyed some of the beans as well. I still have a lot left, so I well freeze a container and mix the rest with the rice I have in the fridge.

I want Momma to stop crying

Istijlál (Majesty), 15 ‘Azamat (Grandeur), 169 BE – Thursday, May 31, 2012 about 4:45 PM Pacific Time

I want Momma to stop crying. I want her to be the happy and independent woman I knew before the Alzheimer’s disease began its destruction.

I want Momma to stop crying. Sometimes the pills help. Sometimes sitting beside her and holding her hand helps. Sometimes sitting beside her and reading the Long Healing prayer helps. Sometimes combinations of the above methods help.

I want Momma to stop crying, but sometimes nothing helps. It is at these times I want to sit beside her and cry with her. I cannot do this because it would only make her more upset. Mom would not understand why I was crying any more then she could tell me why she is crying.

I want Momma to stop crying. On rare occasions, Mom can tell me why she is crying. Sometimes she misses her parents because she does not realize they died years ago. She does not remember attending their funerals. Sometimes she misses her husband because she does not remember the divorce. Sometimes she wants to go to work because she does not remember retiring.

I want Momma to stop crying. Sometimes Mom believes someone stole her clothes. Sometimes she believes someone stole her glasses. Sometimes she believes that everyone hates her. Sometimes she thinks I am her mother. Sometimes she remembers I am her daughter.

I want Momma to stop crying. I want Momma to be happy again. I want to hear Momma sing her favorite songs. I want to see Momma smile again. I want to hear Momma laugh again.

The Games I enjoy

‘Idál (Justice), 14 ‘Azamat (Grandeur), 169 BE – Wednesday, May 30, 2012 about 6:55 PM Pacific Time

I enjoy only four games. Those are Spider Solitaire, Free Cell Solitaire, Mahjong, and Sudoku. At this point in my life, my favorite is Sudoku. Therefore, you know that if I see a new Sudoku book or a book I do not have, I will buy it.

A few weeks ago, I went into the grocery store for some items. I checked the magazine section first and then I went to pharmacy. Just before I got to the pharmacy there was a rack with books on sale. One of those books was Absolutely Nasty Sudoku Level 4 by Frank Longo. I bought it.

Actually, I had to buy it. First, I had never seen this particular Sudoku book before. Second, it was 25% off. There was absolutely no way I was going to pass up a bargain like that. Today I finished the first puzzle and started on the second.

It has taken me a while to finish the first puzzle for two reasons. One, the puzzle are extremely difficult. Two, I laid the book down and then laid a magazine on top of it. Today I picked the magazine up to read it and then decided I need to relax, so I worked on the Sudoku. Yes, solving Sudoku, even difficult Sudoku relaxes me.

With the possible exception of Free Cell, because I want to play every version if it, I think I will forget the other games for a while and focus on Sudoku book and its 242 puzzles.

Looking for the postman in Las Vegas

Fidál (Grace), 13 ‘Azamat (Grandeur), 169 BE – Tuesday, May 29, 2012 about 6:00 PM Pacific Time

I’m looking for the postman today, not that I’m expecting anything special. However, after three days without any letters, bills, or junk mail I’m looking forward to see what we get.

I started this entry earlier this afternoon and encountered several interruptions. The first interruption was the mail carrier; he brought a bill, a letter, and several pieces of junk mail. It’s nice to get more then junk mail for a change. I had to go online to pay the water bill and after that, Mom came home. I just returned to this entry and now I’m hungry. I’m going to post this and fix me something to eat.

Prayer and Oxygen

Jamál (Beauty), 11 ‘Azamat (Grandeur), 169 BE – Sunday, May 27, 2012 about 10:15 AM Pacific Time

My mother has to have oxygen, so we have an oxygen concentrator and oxygen tanks. Mom sleeps with the oxygen concentrator lines in her nose and the concentrator on. However, she does not always need to use it during the day. On Friday, I bought a pulse oximeter to measure her body’s oxygen level. This way if her oxygen level gets below 93% during the day, I can turn on the concentrator and connect the tubes to her nose or connect the oxygen tank, whichever is more convenient.

This morning I checked Mom’s oxygen level and found it was down to 89%, so I turned the concentrator on and put the tubes in her nose. While I was doing this, it struck me that prayer does for our souls what the oxygen concentrator does for my mother’s body. When the oxygen concentrator is on and connected to the human body, it increased the percentage of oxygen in the blood.

Prayer aids a person’s faith in God. When we pray we are connecting our spirits to God and increasing the power of our faith in the same way that the concentrator increased the amount of oxygen in a person’s blood. Sometimes in a person’s daily life, he or she forgets to pray and, therefore, has difficulties due to lack of spiritual power. It is at these times, prayer, acting like an oxygen concentrator, increases the spiritual power to confront the difficulties and overcome doubt.

A Hazel Nut Café Mocha Day

Jalál (Glory), 10 ‘Azamat (Grandeur), 169 BE – Saturday, May 26, 2012 about 9:50 AM Pacific Time

It’s a hazel nut café mocha day, at least until I finish the carafe of coffee I made this morning. Once I’ve finished that carafe, I’m making another because I’m sure the day isn’t going to get much better. I’m not sure it will get worse, but it isn’t going to get any better.

It’s Saturday. Mom doesn’t go to the daycare center on Saturday or Sunday. Since Monday is the observation of Memorial Day, she will remain home that day as well. Due to straining or bruising my right knee some time in the last week, I can’t standup, sit down, or walk for more then five or six minutes at a time without excruciating pain. This isn’t a problem until I have to take Mom to the bathroom. It takes longer then six minutes to get Mom into the bathroom and back to the living room.

At this point, I haven’t considered the process of walking her up and down the hall. She needs the exercise, but I’m not sure I’m up to it today. I think a knee brace would help, but going to the medical supply story until Tuesday is out of the question. Even then I’m not sure I can afford a knee brace until my Social Security check comes in and I can’t get a prescription from my doctor until June 6 and I don’t think I can wait that long for a knee brace. At least not when my knee hurts the way it does when I’m on it for an extended amount of time.

I just finished my second cup of café mocha. I also just realized that I left Mom’s walker where she can pull herself up with it. Since Mom isn’t walking very well today, it isn’t a good idea to leave the walker close to her. If she gets up, she may fall down even with the walker.  Therefore, I think I need to close this, post it, move Mom’s walker, and then get me another cup of café mocha, but this time with two tablespoons of hot chocolate mix.

A windy day in May in Las Vegas

Istiqlál (Independence), 9 ‘Azamat (Grandeur), 169 BE – Friday, May 25, 2012 about 7:20 PM Pacific Time

The wind began this morning. It was blowing when I left the house to go to Walgreens and Smith’s Food and Drug store. It’s been blowing all day. According to the meteorologist the wind gust were up to 40 and 41 miles per hour. He even mentioned gust of 50 miles per hour.

I still have the pine tree in my front yard. I hope it stands up to the wind gust predicted for this weekend. I went out and moved the car farther up in the driveway. Not that it will do any good if the wind blows the tree down. I’ll just have to deal with that if it should occur.

The meteorologist also predicted cooler temperatures for this weekend. He mentioned temperatures in the mid and high eighties. After the triple digit temperatures of the past few days, those are nice temperatures. Since I’m not going anywhere this weekend, I don’t suppose it matter how high the temperatures get.

Our Plans for Memorial Day weekend in Las Vegas

Istijlál (Majesty), 8 ‘Azamat (Grandeur), 169 BE – Thursday, May 24, 2012 about 6:30 PM Pacific Time

When Mom came home from the daycare center this afternoon there was a note on her wheelchair. On Monday, for Memorial Day observances, they close the daycare center. Mom will stay home and I have to figure out something for us to eat.

I have to plan three meals for two people on Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. When Mom is at the daycare center, she eats two meals and snacks. I eat two meals or rather I attempt to eat two meals by myself. When Mom is at the daycare center, I usually eat only one meal, but when she is at home, I eat three meals because Mom does not like to eat by herself.

I know that Monday, we will have a potato and carrot casserole. I have not decided whether I will add chicken or beef to the potatoes and carrots. I am not sure what else we will have, so I will have to see what we have here before I go to the grocery store. Maybe I will get us a watermelon. I always enjoyed watermelon on Memorial Day.

Our plans for Memorial Day weekend are exciting. We will stay home and I will see if I can get Mom to walk up and down the hall a few times. Mom needs to get more exercise, which means assisting her and her walker up and down the hall.

I Remember: Memorial Day Memories

Fidál (Grace), 6 ‘Azamat (Grandeur), 169 BE – Tuesday, May 22, 2012 about 6:30 PM

I remember commemorating Memorial Day on May 30 instead of the last Monday in May.

I remember buying red poppies from Veterans a few days before Memorial Day.

I remember going with my Grandparents to visit the graves of Veterans on Memorial Day.

I remember my Grandmother making crepe paper flowers to put on the graves we visited on Memorial Day.

I remember helping Grandma pack our picnic lunch and snacks to take with us when we visited the graves on Memorial Day.

I remember my Grandma referring to Memorial Day as Decoration Day.

I remember visiting small graveyards without any nearby towns on Memorial Day.

I remember Memorial Day...

This year Memorial Day weekend begins on Saturday, May 26 and we commemorate Memorial Day on Monday, May 28. Pause and say a prayer for the departed or for America or both.

Another Triple digit day in Las Vegas

Kamál (Perfection), 5 ‘Azamat (Grandeur), 169 BE – Monday, May 21, 2012 about 7:35 PM Pacific Time

I shouldn’t complain, we haven’t had very many triple digit days so far this year. I should hold off complaining until July or August when it get extremely hot. Not that complaining will do any good. The only thing complaining about the weather does is make the hot temperatures more unbearable.

I had an optometrist appointment at 9:20 AM. The trip there wasn’t bad, even without a working air conditioner in my car. I didn’t notice the heat on the way to the appointment, but when I got out of the office I noticed the heat; perhaps it was because the temperature in the eye doctor’s office was cooler then the temperature in my house.

According to the meteorologist, we can expect a cool down sometime later this week. I hope so, because I have an appointment on Thursday, at 10:00 AM, to have the bandage changed on my left leg. In addition, I have to go to the grocery store sometime this week, perhaps on Wednesday right after Mom leaves for the daycare center. The temperature is still cool and if I take a list with me, I won’t have to stay out very long.

Somber Saturday: Trying to stay awake in Las Vegas

Jalál (Glory), 3 ‘Azamat (Grandeur), 169 BE – Saturday, May 19, 2012 about 12:05 PM Pacific Time

I’m not very happy today. I got up later then usual because I wasn’t enthusiastic about staying home today. I think I would rather have gone to a park, the swimming pool, or beach. However, those places are out of the question on Saturday’s because getting Mom into and out of a car without working air conditioning is not a battle I choose to fight. Therefore, we stay home on Saturday and Sunday.

This morning was difficult for Mom in more ways then one. She wanted to cry and didn’t attempt to answer any of my questions about why she was crying. Right now, that isn’t an option because I still have to make her bed. In addition, I would much rather have her in the living room where it is easy to get her to the bathroom when necessary and this morning it’s been extremely necessary.

I’ll try to convince her to lay down on the couch if she wants a nap. Perhaps I can convince her to get up and walk around for a few minutes. I’m not sure how cooperative she will be when it comes to walking down the hall and not going into her bedroom. If I let her lay down in her bed room then she will want to get up to go to her bathroom and that isn’t the bathroom easiest for her to use.

Perhaps as the day goes on, both of our moods will change toward the positive. Mine will, I know; however, I’m not sure about Mom’s. Maybe I can get her to laugh about something or at least smile. Writing this post has helped my mood, I’m still tired, but my mood is brighter and I’m smiling; this is always a good sign.

Planning my weekend menu

Istiqlál (Independence), 2 ‘Azamat (Grandeur), 169 BE – Friday, May 18, 2012 about 5:50 PM Pacific Time

Monday through Friday Mom goes to the adult daycare center and receives two meals plus snacks. On Saturday and Sunday, she remains home; therefore, I have to plan her meals and snacks. This weekend we will have waffles and eggs for breakfast with coffee and juice. On the waffles, we will have hazel nut spread, jelly, or peanut butter. Mom usually has peanut butter on her waffles, but this Saturday I will put the hazel nut spread on her waffles and see how she likes it.

For lunch on Saturday, we will have leftovers. I fixed a large pot of spaghetti on Thursday, so we have a lot leftover. There are green beans and sweet potatoes in the refrigerator that I will fix. If we don’t finish those for lunch then we will have them for supper on Saturday.

I think that for snacks I will serve canned fruit or ice cream. I have waffle cones; I know Mom would like to have an ice cream cone. It is warm now and so the ice cream will be a cool treat. I am looking forward to the ice cream myself.

Mom is not able to fix her own meals any more. The thing I miss most on weekends is my mother’s cooking. Mom was a good cook and she fixed wonderful dishes for us to eat on the weekends and the days we were both at home. I guess things like this are to be expected when caring for an Alzheimer’s sufferer.

Thursday Task: Another Thursday at the wound hospital in Las Vegas

Istijlál (Majesty), 1 ‘Azamat (Grandeur), 169 BE – Thursday, May 17, 2012 about 6:05 PM Pacific Time

I went to the wound hospital this morning to have the bandage on my left leg changed. The R.N. who changed the dressing thought it looked worse then it did on Tuesday, May 15, so he got the doctor to look at it. The doctor had the nurse put a different type of dressing on the wound, wrote me a prescription for antibiotics, and said I only had to have the dressing changed once a week. I will see the doctor again in two weeks.

The bandage that is on my leg now, is the type that I can’t get wet other wise it stinks. This means I have to get creative when it comes to taking a shower. The problem is that I can’t find anything to cover the leg with the bandage. If I use a plastic trash bag, which is the only thing tall enough to reach my knee, the bandage will still get wet. I found out, when I had another type of bandage on the leg, that those tall kitchen trash bags don’t work very well when it comes to keeping a knee high bandage dry.

Oh well, that’s life. I will be spending the next two or four Thursday mornings at the wound hospital either having the bandage changed or seeing a doctor. Whoever is reading this, please say healing prayers for me.

An Interesting Tuesday Morning in Las Vegas

Fidál (Grace), 18 Jamál (Beauty), 169 BE – Tuesday, May 15, 2012 about 8:10 Pacific Time

It’s been an interesting Tuesday morning and it isn’t even 8:30 yet. Someone called the police because Mom was screaming and putting up a fuss when the C.N.A. gave her the bath. The front door was open so it probably sounded worse then what it was. Now I suppose I’ll have to keep the front door closed while Mom gets her bath Monday through Friday.

I guess this is something I have to learn to expect. Mom has Alzheimer’s disease and she gets angry when some (even me) gives her a bath. Some days she gets angrier then others, but she always gets angry. She accuses whoever is gives her the bath of attempting to kill her. I want to cry, but it would do no good.

This is a case when tears, no matter how many, help. They do not relieve the stress. Tears only make the situation worse because when I cry I remember how Mom used to be. Used to Mom didn’t curse, she didn’t shout at people, and she didn’t call people names. Now she does all those things, especially when she receives a bath. I miss the woman my mother used to be.

Monday Meditation: Washing Dishes by Hand in Las Vegas

Kamál (Perfection), 17 Jamál (Beauty), 169 BE – Monday, May 14, 2012 about 10:40 AM Pacific Time

There is nothing like washing dishes by hand to focus my mind on the moment. The feel of the hot soapy water on my bare hands is an invigorating experience. I have to scrub clean each dish and then rinse each bowl, cup, plate, or fork. After that, I place them on the drying rack. Through out this process, my mind remains focused on the utensil and nothing else.

After finishing the dishes, I look out my kitchen window. The play of light and shadow appear fresh. The white, pink, and red oleanders seem to glisten in the morning sun. Today, the neighbor’s cat did not walk across the backyard or along the top of fence. However, the birds were singing and the sunshine seemed brighter then usual, perhaps my imagination or just the feeling I get after focusing on one thing for five or ten minutes.

I do not know how long it took me to wash the dish this morning. I did not look at the clock on the microwave. I focused exclusively on getting the dishes clean. Now I know how my Grandmother felt when she washed dishes in the kitchen sink in Blackwell, Oklahoma.

A long day in Las Vegas

Jamál (Beauty), 16 Jamál (Beauty), 169 BE – Sunday, May 13, 2012 about 5:45 PM Pacific Time

It has been a long day and the day is not over. Even though the sun has not set, Mom is in bed. She still has one more pill to take, but I cannot give that to her until about 8:00 PM and this mean I will probably have to wake her up.

My cell phone is on the charger and I am trying to relax before I finish some chores before going to bed. It is difficult to do anything when Mom is awake. It is not impossible, but it is difficult. When Mom is awake I prefer remaining in the living room with her. That way I can keep an eye on her, while attempting to get her up and walking a bit.

A long Mothers’ Day

Fresh strawberry pie and

Hazel nut coffee

I made two carafes of coffee today. Mom and I finished the first with our breakfast and so I made another. We did not finish that, in fact we only drank two cups; therefore, I have coffee to warm over in the microwave in the morning. This afternoon, Mom drank a Dr. Pepper and then finally went to bed about 5:00 PM.

Nap Time in Las Vegas

Jalál (Glory), 15 Jamál (Beauty), 169 BE – Saturday, May 12, 2012 about 4:05 PM Pacific Time

I took a long nap this afternoon. Mom took a nap at the same time; I have to fix the couch up so that she can lay down in it for her afternoon nap. I also have fix up the love seat so that I can nap on it.

An afternoon nap

Rest both my body and mind

Makes the day pleasant

Mothers’ Day Weekend

Istiqlál (Independence), 14 Jamál (Beauty), 169 BE – Friday, May 11, 2012 about 7:00 PM Pacific Time

Mothers’ Day is Sunday. Mom and I will stay home this weekend, as we do every weekend. I bought Mom her favorite pie, so on Sunday we will have strawberry pie; however, I didn’t buy any ice cream. Mom used to eat French vanilla or ordinary vanilla ice cream with her strawberry pie.

Mom doesn’t eat much ice cream any more because it is too rich for her. This Mothers’ Day it was a choice between ice cream or pie, she can’t eat both. I chose to get her the pie because she likes it better then ice cream. Those are our plans for Mothers’ Day. I miss taking Mom out to eat, but we can’t do that this year; so staying home and having strawberry pie will have to do.

The bandage on my left leg

I had the bandage changed on my left leg today. Next few weeks I will have the bandage changed twice a week. My next appointment is on Tuesday and after that on Thursday. I suspect I will have a bandage on my left leg for the rest of my life, which will be a long time.

I realize this is just a test. It is a test of my perseverance. It is a test of my patience. It is a test of my ingenuity. It is a test of my creativity. I want a pair of new shoes, but right now, the only shoes I can wear are crocs. Therefore, I think I will look for a pair of purple crocs. I have always wanted a pair and this is a good time to buy them. I know they will fit over the bandage on my left foot because I am wearing that brand now.

Midweek Reflections on trash collection day

‘Idál (Justice), 12 Jamál (Beauty), 169 BE – Wednesday, May 9, 2012 about 9:30 AM Pacific Time

It’s Wednesday, trash collection day in my neighborhood. I forgot to roll the trashcan to the curb this morning. I didn’t get up until 5:00 AM, which is the time I begin getting Mom up. Before waking Mom, I took my thyroid pill, but didn’t do anything else.

I usually takes me 25 to 30 minutes to get Mom out of bed and dressed. Once she has fresh clothes on, I take her into the living room and give Mom her first pill of the morning. After that, I go outside to pick up the Las Vegas Review-Journal. At this time, I normally roll the trash to the curb on Wednesday, but today I forgot all about rolling the trashcan to the curb.

I didn’t think about this being trash collection day until the garbage trucks rolled by my house and then it was too late. Oh well, I’ll just have to roll the trashcan to the curb on Friday night or Saturday morning. I’ll just have to make sure the trash in the can is less then 50 lbs. because if it’s more then that the men won’t empty the can and I will have to transfer some of the garbage to different trashcans.

Tuesday Thoughts on Pennies from Heaven

Fidál (Grace), 11 Jamál (Beauty), 169 BE – Tuesday, May 8, 2012 about 12:50 PM Pacific Time

Pennies from heaven are pennies that you find laying around, usually on the ground. I have a small prescription bottle sitting by my computer labeled “Pennies from Heaven” in which I put all my pennies. I do not limit the pennies to those I find lying around on the ground. I remove the pennies I get in change and put those in the bottle as well.

The “Pennies from Heaven” bottle is almost full, so I need to decide what I am going to do with them. I have them changed into dollars and spend them, but there is not enough for that. I am going to transfer them to a medium sized plastic juice bottle and fill that. Once I have the juice bottle filled then I will get the pennies changed into dollars.

Dust Devils in Las Vegas

Kamál (Perfection), 10 Jamál (Beauty), 169 BE – Monday, May 7, 2012 about 6:25 PM Pacific Time

Through Las Vegas streets

Dust devils danced promising

Trouble running fun

This afternoon dust devils blew through part of Las Vegas. It kicked up the dust in my yard and pelted the house with sand particles. In some sections of the city they cause some damage.

Spiritual Sunday: A Prayer for Sunday

Jamál (Beauty), 9 Jamál (Beauty), 169 BE – Sunday, May 6, 2012 about 9:44 AM Pacific Time

O Lord,

bless this day

the first day of a new week.

O Lord,

protect us

from the fears

that forgetfulness of you

generates.

O Lord,

guide us

down the rough roads

of responsibility

and help us avoid

the detour of indifference.

O Lord,

bless this day

the first day of a new week.

Family history Friday: Grandpa Newland

Istiqlál (Independence), 7 Jamál (Beauty), 169 BE – Friday, May 4, 2012 about 6:45 PM Pacific Time

I remember many things about my Grandpa Newland. Grandpa was bald and he would let us rub his baldhead. My mother said that when she was a child she remembered sitting on his lap and rubbing his baldhead.

Grandpa drank coffee. Every day he would make a pot of coffee and when he finished the one pot of coffee, he would make another. Grandpa poured the first cup of coffee I ever drank; at least I think he poured it. Anyway, the cup contained a little bit of coffee with a lot of cream and sugar.

Another thing I remember about Grandpa was that he smoked cigarettes. I remember Grandpa telling me that he began smoking at 13 years old. I also remember Grandpa rolled his own cigarettes. I remember his sitting at the kitchen table rolling cigarettes. I also remember sitting by Grandpa’s hospital bed when he was dying of cancer.

Thursday Thoughts on Smelling Roses and transplanting mint

Istijlál (Majesty), 6 Jamál (Beauty), 169 BE – Thursday, May 3, 2012 about 5:30 PM Pacific Time

I need to stop and smell the roses. I need to relax and take a little time off to walk through a park. I need to get my hands dirty and plant something in the ground.

Today I replanted a grapefruit mint plant. I transplanted the little green plant from a small container to a large container. This is the first time I have attempted to transplant anything. I hope I did it properly. I pray the mint plant thrives and grows. No matter what happens to this plant, I am going to do this again because it was fun.

I wish I could post a picture; however, I am having issues with my digital camera’s drivers. The disk that came with the camera is too small to fit in my CD drive (I need to upgrade my technology) and I cannot fide the drivers on the manufacturer’s website. I contacted the company via e-mail. I have not heard anything. My next option is to call technical support, which I will do after recharging my phone’s batteries.

I began this post discussing plants not technology. I need to relax because the issues I have with technology stresses, upsets, and depresses me. While planting or transplanting, seem to have the opposite effect.

Worried Wednesday a good time to place everything in God’s hands

‘Idál (Justice), 5 Jamál (Beauty), 169 BE – Wednesday, May 2, 2012 about 10:40 AM Pacific Time

It’s Wednesday and I didn’t sleep well last night. My mattress caused my sleeplessness. It’s uncomfortable. It’s too hard. Every time I turned over the pain in my knees woke me up. I need a new mattress, so I will place this situation in God’s hands and go back to sleeping on the love seat or the couch.

Tomorrow I have an appointment with my mechanic about 8:30 AM to finish work on my car. I also have an appointment with the wound doctor at 10:00 AM because my left leg is weeping again.  The wound hospital is a block or so from my mechanic’s shop and I plan to walk to the wound hospital. All right, walking to the wound hospital may not be a good idea, but that’s how I’m doing it. I place this situation in God’s hands and continue with my plans because I know that it will turn out all right.

The only thing I can do with worries is to place everything in God’s hands, make my plans concerning a solution, and continue with life. If there is another solution that I haven’t found then it will be made available. Everyday place the day and the situation in God’s hands and continue living in the shadow of God’s Glory.

Tuesday Thoughts: Closing out April

Fidál (Grace), 4 Jamál (Beauty), 169 BE – Tuesday, May 1, 2012 2:50 PM Pacific Time

It’s Tuesday the first of May. This is the day I close out April’s books and make the mortgage payment online. I went to the website of the bank that has our mortgage and made the payment this morning. Now I just have to close out April’s books and set up the books for May.

This is a long, but not complicated process because I have checked the bank accounts everyday. Now all I have to do is make sure that the books balance, which sometimes can be an issue. When it comes to balancing the books, my problem is cash. I don’t keep track of cash spending the same way I keep track of the debit card spending.

I guess that’s why I prefer to use a debit card, checks, or a credit card because I can keep a close eye on what we (Mom and I) spend. When it comes to counting cash, I always have less then what I think I should have. This is frustrating and irritating and I know what causes the problem. I don’t write down the cash that I spend or if I do write it down, I can’t find the note pad I wrote it on.

Frustrating or not, I have to balance the books today because if I wait a couple of days the situation will only become worse. So, why am I composing a blog entry instead of balancing the books? That is a good question and I’m not sure I have an answer; at least, I don’t have an answer I’m willing to post.