Alzheimer’s disease: A Caregiver’s Saturday Mo

Jalál (Glory), 13 Asmá’ (Names), 169 BE – Saturday, September 1, 2012 about 11:05 AM Pacific Time

It is Saturday morning; I have fixed Mom her first breakfast and given her all her morning meds. For her first breakfast Mom at sliced strawberries and banana. I am not sure what I will fix for Mom’s second breakfast perhaps scrambled eggs and toast or maybe a bagel, all though, Mom might like dry cereal and a jelly sandwich.

This morning, Mom and I discussed what she would like me to call her. I was calling her Mom, but she never answered me. At first, I thought it was because she was having difficultly hearing me even with her hearing aids in her ears. The problem was not Mom’s hearing difficulty she was hearing the question. Mom did not realize I was talking to her because she had forgotten I am her daughter.

After a bit of discussion, we settled upon Marie. Marie is my mother’s first name. From now on I have to remember to call her Marie, at least until she stop answering me when I address her by that name. I suppose then I can go back to calling her Mom. I do not feel like crying because this I expected to encounter this issue.

My mother has Alzheimer’s disease. I understood that she would eventually forget who I am. Mom will eventually forget a great deal more. It is sad that such a wonderful woman as my mother will forget her children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. It is sad that two of Mom’s grandsons and her great grandchildren will never know the wonderful woman she was before Alzheimer’s disease began destroying her memories.

Midweek Reflections on Care Giving

‘Idál (Justice), 18 Rahmat (Mercy), 169 BE – Wednesday, July 11, 2012 about 11:35 AM Pacific Time

Sometimes I feel so alone. I know I am not alone, there are hundreds, perhaps thousands, of people just like me who are carrying for loved one with Alzheimer’s or some other form of dementia. It is just that on mornings like this, when Mom wants to cry and one or more of her physical medical issues manifest itself, I feel alone and disconnected from humanity. All caregivers encounter this emotion when they feel overwhelmed by their loved one’s mental and physical problems.

Besides short-term memory lose, which goes along with Alzheimer’s disease, Mom is afflicted with emotional or anger issues, Macular degeneration, hearing lose, urinary incontinence, and fecal incontinence. Mom has hearing aids to alleviate some of the hearing lose, but most of the time she objects to wearing them. I put the hearing aids in each morning after her bath and then pray that she keeps them in all day or if she does take them out then they end up in her purse.

Each morning, before it is even time to get her up, I give her a pill to help with the agitation. I have to get her to sit up so that she can take the pill because if I simply put it in her mouth without a drink of water she will spit the pill out. If she spits the pill out then it has no effect upon her moods.

Monday through Friday, Mom goes to an adult daycare center. Monday through Friday, the hospice she sends a C.N.A. to give her a shower (which Mom is not crazy about, but it is necessary). After the shower, the bus from the daycare center picks Mom up and takes her to the center. Mom enjoys going to the center. Mom enjoys herself when she is at the daycare center. Whenever I drop in Mom is having a good time.

Family History Friday: Making Family History in Las Vegas

Istiqlál (Independence), 10 Bahá (Splendor), 169 BE – Friday, March 30, 2012 about 6:10 PM Pacific Time

I signed up for the 9^th annual southern Nevada caregiver conference, which occurs on Thursday, April 26, at the Alexis Park. The name of the conference is Inspiring and Empowering Caregivers to Navigate the Journey and it will last from 7:30 AM to 4:30 PM.

I all most talked myself out of going yesterday and came up with several reasons why I could not attend. This morning, I attended the monthly caregiver coffee at Desert Southwest Chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association. I took the registration material and my checkbook. I arrived at the location early, so while I waited for everyone else to arrive I signed up and wrote a check.

Now the only thing to do is find someone to be here, at the house, from 7:00 to about 8:45 AM to stay with Mom until the daycare bus comes to pick her up. That person also needs to be her between 3:00 to 4:00 PM when Mom arrives back from the center and the woman arrives who helps Mom get ready for bed at night.

I am going to the conference. This is an educational opportunity and it is relaxing. The only time I get out of the house is to pay bills, buy groceries, go to the bank, and buy gas. I need to do something else.

Being a Caregiver Isn’t Easy

Fidál (Grace), 3 ‘Ilm (Knowledge), 167 BE – Tuesday, October 18, 2011 about 1:58 PM Pacific Time

As my Mother’s caregiver, I have to make choices for her that she cannot make for herself. This afternoon, I realized that one of the choices concerns my mother’s wardrobe. I was hanging cloths for her to wear and I came across two pairs of my mother’s slacks. Mom does not wear slacks any more, she used to wear them all the time, but now she wears only skirts, blouses, and dresses.

Mom does not wear slacks anymore because dresses and skirts are easier for her to get on and off, especially when someone else is assisting her to dress. Mom does not seem to notice that the only that the only choices presented to her are dresses or skirts. Perhaps it is because she was born and raised in a time when women did not wear slacks. I do not think she began wearing slacks until World War II.

Anyway, as I was hanging Mom’s cloths up I came across two pairs of slacks she used to wear. Since there is no use hanging them where she can find them and want to wear them, I put them in a box I am planning to give away. Because Mom suffers from Alzheimer’s disease, she will get angry if cannot wear them and this would happen if she wanted to wear them and I had to say no.

I miss the woman my mother used to be. The woman I could reason with and discuss issues without her repeating herself or getting angry over a difference of opinion. I pray everyday that medical science will find a cure for Alzheimer’s disease.

I’m Hangin’ in

Fidál (Grace), 9 Mulk (Dominion), 167 BE – Tuesday, February 15, 2011 about 2:24 PM Pacific Time

This week I know how this cat feels, because I am feeling the same way. I am hanging in there and hoping that if the limb breaks or I let go the ground is soft. I think the biggest issue is the amount of work I have to do. For some reason I feel in a hurry to get everything accomplished.

I do not know why I feel pushed maybe it is because I work from home. I would love to get a job that would take me out of the house, but that is not possible at this time. I am my mother caregiver and I cannot afford to hire someone to take care of her. In addition, Mom has not responded well to winter, she does not do anything except sit on the couch or love seat covered with a blanket.

I keep the house as warm as possible, but it is not warm enough for Mom. This house has always been difficult to keep warm; unfortunately, Mom does not remember how difficult the house is to heat. Anyway, I am hanging in there and feeling like the cat in the picture.

Note about the picture: This picture came off a card someone sent me. I cannot find the card; I wish I could because I like the picture. This picture was on the outside of the card, but that is all I know about it.

Thursday was a relaxing day

Istiqlál (Independence), 3 ‘Izzat (Might), 167 BE – Friday, September 10, 2010 about 12:56 PM Pacific Time

I didn't know driving across Las Vegas could be so much fun. I spent five unhurried hours yesterday just relaxing. I went to the bank for a print out of my checking account. I went to Border's to buy writers' magazines. I went to the Baha'i Center on West Oakey. I went to Smith's Food & Drug store for groceries. I went to Panda Express for food. I had an enjoyable five hours away from care giving. I came back home relaxed and ready to take care of Mom.

Today I have to catch up on the things I didn't get done yesterday, but that is all right. I enjoyed myself just driving around Las Vegas. I think I may attempt a mini vacation again next month if I can find the money. This month I had five hours left on a grant I had to use up, so I took the five hours to relax and do some business. Mom didn't like it, but as a results I can take better care of Mom.

I am taking a day off next week

Istiqlál (Independence), 15 Asmá’ (Names), 167 BE – Friday, September 3, 2010 about 5:07 PM Pacific Time

I am taking a day off next week. Mom isn't going to like it because I am leaving here with a paid caregiver, but I need some down time from care giving. I have five hours left on a grant that I have to use this month, so I'm using it. I don't know what I will do yet; perhaps go to the park and write poetry.. I could go to the library or to a coffee shop.

I know five hours isn't an entire day, but it's time enough to recharge my batteries. I think I will take my prayer book, a reading book, and my journal. There is a park close to the house, that seems like a good place to go. I have my cell phone, so whoever is taking care of Mom can get in touch with me.

The sun is setting in Las Vegas

Kamál (Perfection), 11 Asmá’ (Names), 167 BE – Monday, August 30, 2010 about 6:57 PM Pacific Time

Las Vegas sunset
The blue sky fades to gray-white
Monday already

I'm attempting an 8-hour work day. This morning I worked online 4 hours, I don't think I got very much done; however, I did write a 200-word blog ad. In approximately 30 days the compensation for the ad will hit my PayPal account and I will transfer it to my bank account. I won't receive a huge amount of money, but in this economy every little bit helps.

I'm sitting at my computer, looking out the living room window. I'm watching the blue sky fade to white and then gray. Night is approaching on the last Monday in August. I'm weary and I need a vacation, but the closest I will come to a vacation is five hours by myself. I have some time left on a Senior Care grant, which I have to use by the middle of September. I will use it either this Friday or next Tuesday to go to a park or to a movie. I need a few hours from care giving to recharge my batteries.

Preparing Mom’s medication for the week

Kamál (Perfection), 14 Kalimát (Words), 167 BE – Monday, July 26, 2010 about 6:59 AM Pacific Time

Mom has three pillboxes and each pillbox has seven compartments. This morning, I prepared Mom's meds for the week. I think I am rescheduling that job to Sunday afternoon. It is time consuming, but not difficult and since the compartment are labeled Sunday through Saturday it makes more sense to do it on Sunday afternoon.

Mom decided she does not need to take her medication, so when I give it to her she protest. Mom still takes her med, but she lets me know that, in her opinion, she does not need them. Since becoming Mom's caregiver, I have learned a lot about Mom and myself. I learn something new about everyday. This is becoming a transformative experience.

About this blog

‘Idál (Justice), 12 Núr (Light), 167 BE – Wednesday, June 16, 2010 about 6:24 AM Pacific Time

When I began this blog, the subject was transformation. I have gotten away from that subject and blogged about numerous other things that have little to do with transformation. Therefore, I have a choice to make. I can change the subject and the name of the blog or I can get back to blogging about the various aspects of spiritual transformation.

I am not going the blog title. That being the case, I have to get back to the subject of transformation. I would like to make a blog entry everyday, but this may not be possible. Life and living have a tendency to insert themselves into a person’s best-laid plans. I am definitely going to blog every other day, but reserve the option to blog everyday if something interesting happens in the process of transformation.

Since I live in Las Vegas and I am my mother’s caregiver, intriguing things happen in my life often. The events in my life give me good themes about the process of transformation. However, sometimes it is difficult to write about those events on the day they happen. I will blog about these events as soon as I can.

Making Lemonade – Part 2

Fidál (Grace), 17 Mulk (Dominion), 166 BE – Tuesday, February 23, 2010 about 5:05 PM Pacific Time

As I suggested in an earlier post, it seems I have an orchard of lemon trees planted in my backyard. This is figurative, of course, because my backyard isn't big enough for more then one tree. The lemon trees refer to tests and difficulties, which occur to help a person develop spiritual attributes.

My mother is 88 years old; she was born March 19, 1921 on a little farm in Oklahoma. I am 63 years old; I was born on December 24, 1946 in a hospital room in Blackwell, Oklahoma. My mother and I live in the same house in Las Vegas, Nevada. Yes, I am 63 years old and I still live with my mother.

Mom has several physical issues that require her to take daily medication. In some ways, Mom is still capable of taking care of herself. She can get in and out of the bathtub by herself, most days she fixes at least one of her own meals. Mom doesn't drive, so I take her where she needs or wants to go. In addition, she has short-term memory problems.

Recently Mom's doctor diagnosed her with mild or the early stages of Alzheimer's disease. The doctor put her on a generic medication that appears to be working. There are other issues beside the Alzheimer's. I am my mother's caregiver. I never envisioned this job for myself. It has also taught me a lot about myself and has strengthened my faith in God.