I Graduated from Shawnee High School in 1966

‘Idál (Justice), 8 Rahmat (Mercy), 166 BE – Tuesday, June 30, 2009 about 8:39 PM Pacific Time

I graduated from Shawnee High School in 1966. I haven't thought about Shawnee, Oklahoma, in a long time. However, this evening when I checked my yahoo.com e-mail there was a message about a Pizza Party for the class of 1966.

I doubt that I can go, so I'm going to have to send my regrets within the next couple of days. I would love to go and see my high school classmates, so before I can actually say either no or yes I'm going to have to take a hard look at the finances.

My gut feeling tells me I won't be able to go and my gut feeling is usually right. Still, it won't hurt to say some prayers before I make the final decision and let my classmates know I won't be there. I don't like to make any decision without praying about it; not that I haven't made decisions without prayer, but I have more regrets about the decisions if I don't pray before making them.

At 62, I've came to realize that regrets are wasted efforts, wasted thoughts. So I pray before coming to a final decision, even if my gut feeling tells me I can or can't do something. Prayer will reinforce the gut feeling or open a path.

In the heat of the afternoon

Fidál (Grace), 7 Rahmat (Mercy), 166 BE – Tuesday, June 30, 2009 about 12:35 PM Pacific Time

Daily writing practice prompt for Friday, June 19, 2009 was “In the heat of the afternoon.”

In the heat of the afternoon, I wonder how we will pay the power bill this summer. I wonder how we can keep the power bill down to an affordable level. We do not use a dryer because the it broke two months ago and we are hanging cloths outside to dry. We do not use the dishwasher, but instead was each meals dishes as we go through the day. We have switched from old fashion light bulbs to the long lasting bulbs.

The refrigerator we have is not new, but it does not run 24/7; still it uses more electricity then a new model. I have one area fan, which I can use to cool one section of the house. I need to get another area fan to help circulate the air. I suspect the only other option I have is to weatherize the house, to have someone inspect it to see what we can do to keep it cooler without running up the power bill.

This is Las Vegas in summer and the temperatures are only going to get hotter.

Some call it the bewitching hour

Daily writing practice prompt for Tuesday, June 23, 2009 is “Write about an hour of the day.”

Midnight, twenty-four hundred hours, some call it the bewitching hour or the witching hour. For me it's just another digit on the clock in another sleepless night. Perhaps I don't need a lot of sleep, maybe it's an age thing. After all, I'm 62 years old and I'm not getting any younger, sometimes I'm not sure that I'm getting older, but I do know I'm not getting younger.

Grandma Newland did housework when she couldn't sleep. She would get up in the middle of the night and mop the floor. Sometimes she cleaned the bathroom or the kitchen, but she never lay in bed staring at the ceiling. Normally, I don't lay in bed staring at the ceiling. Often I get up and work at the computer.

Sometimes I lay in bed and stare out the window counting the time Metro's helicopter flies over the neighborhood. Sometimes I check the front door, the sliding door, or go outside to make sure the car doors are locked. Usually I get up and work at the computer, all though I have been know to wash dishes or mop a floor, but those are rare occasions.

Lately I've been saying prayers. I open my prayer book and read the evening prayers. I also read the Long Healing Prayer revealed by Baha'u'llah. I like that to read that prayer, especially on night I can't sleep.

I have one less item in my garage

Kamál (Perfection), 6 Rahmat (Mercy), 166 BE – Monday, June 29, 2009 about 1:57 PM Pacific Time

A young man came to pick up the old refrigerator, which was in my garage. I plugged it in last Friday after I came home from the dentist and its run ever since. The fridge was recycled and the parts are useable. The fridge run 24/7 and kept things cold, so it was a good candidate for recycling.

Anyway, I have one less item in my garage now. The only things left to remove are the dryer, the couch, and the soda machine. I'm want to see the dryer and the couch go next, once they're gone then I will have room in my garage for my car again. Of course, before I put the car in I'm going to have to sweep the floor and rearrange the trash cans.

Maybe I'll just have the garbage truck take the old aluminum trashcans. I have a new plastic trashcan that rolls, so I don't really need the old cans. I can get rid of them and just use the new trashcan.

I’m learning to eat again

I have a full set of teeth again, both uppers and lowers. I'm learning to eat again. I'm getting used to my lower plate. It's still difficult to eat sometimes because my lower plate slips. I don't know what to do about that.

I have goop to hold the dentures in place, but it doesn't always hold my lower plate. I've talked to other people about the problem. They all tell me that it's just something one has to learn to live with, so I guess that's what I will do.

I don't know whether it's a good idea to use the goop, the glue to hold only the lower plate in place. I know there are probably dangers in using the stuff. I haven't investigated the dangers yet so I guess that is the next research on my list. However, I don't have to investigate to know there is some danger involved. Everything one does or uses in life has some danger attached to it that's just part of living.

Making the beds

Jamál (Beauty), 5 Rahmat (Mercy), 166 BE – Sunday, June 28, 2009 about 12:14 PM Pacific Time

Daily writing practice prompt for Friday, June 26, 2009 is “Write about the making of beds.”

I remember watching Grandma Newland make the beds. Grandma made the beds everyday, but on Friday she would remove the dirty from the bed, put clean sheets on the the beds and wash the dirty sheets.

I remember watching Grandma make hospital corners because she used flat sheets and not fitted sheets. I don't remember Grandma putting fitted sheets on her bed, I think she did have a couple of sets of sheets that were fitted, but I don't remember her putting them on her bed.

I watched Grandma smooth the corner of the sheet and then fold it under the mattress. Once Grandma made a bed the bottom sheet remained in place until she took it off the bed on Friday, laundry day. Grandma did laundry once a week, usually on Friday unless Grandpa planned on taking everyone out of town and then she did laundry on Thursday.

The end of a difficult day

It's the end of a difficult day at the end of a difficult week near the end of a difficult month. I don't see anything getting easier, of course I don't see it getting more difficult either. Still you never know when confronted by difficulties precisely how difficult the situation or the problems will become.

I have writing and on-line assignments to complete. I have housework to do. I have a garage full of trash and junk. My driveway needs re pouring, I have to take the car to the mechanic sometime within the next week or so, and I'm tired. I have to get a blood test sometime next week, so I will ask the doctor if there is a physical reason for me being tired.

Someone is coming for the fridge that's setting in the garage Monday. The fridge is running so that the people can see it works. Once I get rid of the fridge then I have a dryer in the garage that doesn't work and I have an old couch that needs taken away. Someone might be able to recover the couch, but I have neither the inclination nor the money for that.

Since I don't see the difficulties getting easier, I'm just going to take each day as it comes. Beginning each with prayer and ending each with prayer. After the past week or so all I can do is handle each problem as it comes up. At this point, the only thing to do is take each day one at a time and hope for the best.

I heard a nightingale this morning

Jalál (Glory), 4 Rahmat (Mercy), 166 BE – Saturday, June 27, 2009 about 8:03 AM Pacific Time

I heard a nightingale singing this morning. I think it may have a nest in the oak tree next door. I also saw a mourning dove walking on my garage roof this morning. Now that the pine tree is gone it is easy to see birds walking on the roof of the garage.

I was afraid when they took the pine tree out that there were birds nesting in that tree. I know there are birds nesting in the oak tree next door and I think they nest in the two remaining pine trees, but none nested in the tree I had taken out.

I enjoy the call of both the Nightingale and the mourning dove. The nightingale sounds so sweet and pleasant. The mourning doves sounds as if it is crying or weeping over something. I have never researched any information about either bird, so I think I need to. I would like to know the history of the birds and the myths surrounding them.

My Father was a coffee drinker, too

Kamál (Perfection), 18 Nur (Light), 166 BE – Monday, June 22, 2009 about 1:26 PM Pacific Time

I'm a coffee drinker. I enjoy a hot rich cup of coffee with my breakfast, lunch, or dinner. I drink coffee anytime of the day or night without worrying about sleeping. C0ffee doesn't keep me awake. If I can't sleep it's because problem on my mind rather then drinking coffee.

My father was a coffee drinker. I can remember sitting on his lap on Sunday morning while he drink coffee and read the comics to me. I think my father put cream in his coffee, I'm not sure whether he put sugar in his coffee. I prefer my coffee black, unless it has chocolate added. Chocolate is the only thing I like to add t my coffee.

Come to think of it, all the men in my life were coffee drinkers. My grandfather drink coffee as well. Grandpa drink what he called cowboy coffee, which is coffee strong enough to ride a horse without assistance. Therefore, I guess it's natural for me to drink coffee.

I am feeling better this morning

Jamál (Beauty), 17 Nur (Light), 166 BE – Sunday, June 21, 2009 about 6:15 AM Pacific Time

I'm feeling better this morning and I'm not sure of the reason. Actually, I'm not sure why I felt bad for the past few days. I won't say ill because that isn't how I felt, I just felt bad; not like myself and irritable. Anyway, this morning I'm feeling better.

In addition to the evening prayer, I've started saying the Long Healing Prayer revealed by Baha'u'llah before I go to sleep. I'm drinking more water and I'm eating better. Yesterday, I had a portabella mushroom sandwich. In fact, I ate three meals Saturday and drink more water.

Another reason I could be feeling better is that I went to Searchlight, Nevada on Thursday. My sister lives in Searchlight and she had to go back to work, so I drove from Las Vegas to Searchlight Thursday afternoon. It's only about an hours drive so I got there and back in a single afternoon.

I'm glad I'm feeling better today. I like to begin a new week feeling good because it makes the week better. I don't know if I will feel good for the entire week, but I'm feeling good now. I have a lot of writing to catch up because I couldn't focus on writing for several days.

Midweek Reflections Wednesday, June 17, 2009

‘Idál (Justice), 13 Nur (Light), 166 BE – Wednesday, June 17, 2009 about 2:06 AM Pacific Time

It's Wednesday again. Hump day and the week is half over. This is June the sixth month of the year and 2009 is half over. I realized today that I don't actually remember very much of 2007. It was a stressful year and I'm surprised I remember anything at all about it.

This realization occurred to me when I was checking the contents of my port at writing.com. Of course, my Mother spent most of 2007 in the hospital, so I'm surprised I remember anything at all about that year. Anyway I found two poem I wrote in January and February and realized I didn't remember writing them, but I know I wrote them.

It's up setting realizing that an entire year is a fog of chaos and worry. I know that the stress of what occurred that year is the reason I don't remember a lot of what went on. You see that was the year my Mother turned 86 in the operating room. Mom's recovering nicely and this year she turned 88.

Many other things happened this week, but the memory thing is the most important. It shook me up that an entire year just seemed to be in a fog. The incidents I do remember occurred in stressful moments. I think Mom and I are still recovering form 2007. Oh well, life goes on moving from week to week, from Wednesday to Wednesday and we must handle the stress that comes with living.

A Happy Monday Morning in Las Vegas

Kamál (Perfection), 11 Nur (Light), 166 BE – Monday, June 15, 2009 about 7:38 AM Pacific Time

Monday and happiness normally do not go together. We consider Monday the first day of the workweek and so it is called "Blue Monday". However, this morning it is "Happy Monday", at least for me.

I went out to get the paper and I heard a Nightingale singing. I am not sure where the nest is located, perhaps in the neighbor's oak tree. The only nests in my trees this year are mourning dove nest. I did not hear the mourning doves, but I went out later then normal to pick up the paper. The mourning doves usually call at dawn they greet the rising sun.

Happiness is a spiritual attribute and material items produce temporary happiness. Happiness comes when a person focuses her mind and thoughts other things beside material possessions and acquisitions. My focus this morning is the nightingale's beautiful song and therefore I am happy.

These are the doubts I had

Jamál (Beauty), 10 Nur (Light), 166 BE – Sunday, June 14, 2009 about 2:50 PM Pacific Time

Daily Practice writing Prompt for Saturday, June 13, 2009 was “These were the doubts I had”.

All right, my doubts usually come after I make a decision. The phenomenon is called second-guessing myself. This particular phenomenon normally occurs after I have made a financial decision, which required a large outlay of money. Another component of this particular phenomenon is the break down of one or more essential piece of equipment.

Under these conditions, I decide that the initial outlay of money (no matter how essential the outlay at the time) was the wrong decision. After 62 years of encountering this phenomenon over and over again, I have decided that the best course for me is not to obsess over the original decision. This easier said then done. However, unless I learn to handle the issues I am going to encounter it again. This is the wonderful thing about transformation I keep encountering the same issues until I confront and handle those issues.

These are the doubts I had and continue to have about large outlays of cash, that the original decision was wrong. Once I make a decision I cannot go back and unmake it, therefore I have to learn to live with the original decision and deal with the consequences. I can also use the original decision as story idea and write a different ending. That is the good thing about writing; I can always use my experience in my work.

It’s Thankful Thursday again

Istijlál (Majesty), 7 Nur (Light), 166 BE – Thursday, June 11, 2009 about11:57 AM Pacific Time

It's Thankful Thursday again and I'm reviewing the things I have to be thankful for. Sometimes it's difficult to find ten items for my gratitude list and sometimes I have so many things to be thankful I have to make two or three lists.

1. I am thankful for coffee and having enough coffee in the house to make a pot of coffee everyday for a week.
2. I am thankful for the out door cloths line that is in the backyard. I have two loads of laundry drying on it now.
3. I am thankful that the air conditioning unit is fixed and we have cool air now,
4. I am thankful that the car is fixed and I can now drive it after dark.
5. I am thankful that the days are getting longer.
6. I am thankful for having canned soup and veggies
7. I am thankful for the farmer's market and the cucumber I bought.
8. I am thankful that the fridge still runs, even though it runs 24/7
9. I am thankful that I could get ink cartridges at the office supply store yesterday
10. I am thankful I have enough cash to buy gas yesterday.

Doing Laundry on a Cloudy Day

Fidál (Grace), 5 Nur (Light), 166 BE – Tuesday, June 9, 2009 about 8:11 AM Pacific Time

My grandmother never did laundry on a cloudy day. Of course, Grandma lived in Oklahoma and clouds meant that it would rain sometime during the day. I live in Las Vegas, where clouds sometimes mean its going to rain, but not always.

There are clouds in the sky today. Actually, there is a cloud cover over the blue desert sky. All this means is that the humidity is up; however, it may or may not indicate rain. I did a load of laundry this morning close to dawn. They are hanging on the line now. I have another load in the washer waiting for me to hang it out.

The clouds overhead are not dark gray they look like dirty cotton. Therefore, I figure I can take a chance with two loads of cloths. I am taking the chance anyway. My grandmother is probably sitting up in heaven smiling; she always smiled on laundry day. Grandma enjoyed doing laundry; as for me, I learning to enjoy it. I enjoy it more when I hang the cloths on the line rather then drying them in an automatic dryer.

I woke up tired this morning

Kamál (Perfection), 4 Nur (Light), 166 BE – Monday, June 8, 2009 about 6:03 AM Pacific Time

I woke up tired this morning, obviously I didn't sleep well last night. In addition, when I went to look at the copy of yesterday's blog entry, I realized I didn't do a spell check. That isn't like me, I usually do a spell check. However, yesterday I didn't and this morning I found some misspellings. Today, of course, I will do the spell check.

I have an appointment with my mechanic this morning to have the car fixed. I'm not sure how long that will take, but I don't think I will get back on-line until this evening. I need to write some check list for blog entries, get a couple of cartridges for my printer, and pay my Internet connection fee. There's probably other things I need to do, but I can't think of them right now. When I do think of them I'm going to put them on my to do list, which I can't print out until I get cartridges for the printer.

I almost feel like I’m back in Oklahoma when hang sheets on the line

Jamál (Beauty), 3 Nur (Light), 166 BE – Sunday, June 7, 2009 about 9:38 AM Pacific Time

I feel like I'm back in Oklahoma. The mornings are crisp, almost cold, there are clouds in the sky about dawn. The birds are singing and the neighbors dogs are barking. Morning are pleasant, the temperature in the feels chilly on my arms.

This morning I went into the back yard to put up the cloths line. I have one of those hexogan lines that I can fold up at night. I fold it up everynight and in the morning, on the days we do laundry, I unfold. Now that the electric dryer is broken, we do only one or two loads of laundry a day.

When the electric dryer worked, it seemed that we were doing more laundry. However, I think we were using the dryer a lot, but not the washer. Now that I have an outdoor dryer, the cloths are hung on the line and not dryed two or three times in the dryer. I suspect that is why the dryer went out because everything was getting dryed more then once. With a cloths line there is not putting the cloths through the drying process more then once.

The only disadvantage I have found using a cloths line is wrinkles. We have to iron the cloths now. The sheets don't get ironed, my grandmother ironed her sheets. I don't care if the sheets are wrinkled when I put them on the bed, I'm not ironing sheets. I know I said in an earlier post that I was looking forward to ironing sheets, well it's something I'm going to have to look forward to because I'm not going to iron sheets.

If I get new sheets, I might consider ironing them, the the ones I have now are old and ironing thme isn't going to make them look like new. I guess I should be considering getting new sheets, but that's going to have to wait for a couple of months. The sheets I have now are all right, they don't have any holes in them. If I pull them tight enough when I put them on the bed I can hardly see any wrinkles.

Four hours to make one post and two to make another

Istiqlál (Independence), 1 Nur (Light), 166 BE – Friday, June 5, 2009 about sunset Pacific Time

I’m tired and I’m attempting to post to another blog. My browser is slow because of my connection. I don’t know why the connection is so slow this evening because I can usually compose and post in less then an hour. This afternoon the time is longer. It’s wearing on my patience.

I’m tired, but I think I said that. Unfortunately, I can’t get a faster connection for a couple of months. Therefore, I’m just going to have to learn to deal with the slowness. There has to be a reason for the connection being unusually slow tonight.

Maybe the problem is that I’m just too stubborn. Perhaps I should have just given up and not attempted to post to this blog tonight. I’m composing this in WORD, I will copy and past it into the blog as soon as the other post is published.

It looks like the entry in the other blog posted; therefore I can complete this entry and post it. I’m going to have to get either DSL or cable modem because it’s starting to hold the phone lines too long.

I don’t like to give up on a post until it’s complete and published. I have to admit that the slowness is beginning to irritate me. I’m going to post this now. Then I think I’ll disconnect and reconnect again to see if that solves the problem.

The reason I like to get up before dawn

Istijlál (Majesty), 19 ‘Azamat (Grandeur), 166 BE – Thursday, June 4, 2009 about 5:13 AM Pacific Time

I like to get up before dawn so that I can watch the sky transform. The change is slow, almost imperceptible at first. This is the way transformation works slowly over the months and the years. Sometimes it takes several months to break a bad habit, to replace that habit with a new habit. A habit that is more in align with the way a person wants to live.

Breaking a bad habit is difficult, after all, nothing worth doing is easy. Replacing an old habit with a new habit is possible, one just has to find the motivation. In some cases, a person must also replace negative self-talk with positive self-talk. Reading self-improvement books help, prayer helps, and reading the scriptures help.

When beginning to form a new habit, I have found the first necessity is to place everything in God's hands. Memorize a prayer or scripture verse which helps and work to replace the bad habit with a good habit. Falling back into the old habit happens, but with work and prayer the new good habit because part of daily life.

The reason I like getting up before dawn is to watch the sky transform from deep black to blue. It reminds me that transformation is a slow process and that I must continue everyday to change bad habits into good habits.

The Dawn of another Day

‘Idál (Justice), 18 ‘Azamat (Grandeur), 166 BE – Wednesday, June 3, 2009 about 5:11 AM Pacific Time

It's the dawn of another day,
an early morning in June
the radio is playing,
the sky is transforming from midnight black
to dawn blue.

It's the dawn of another day
and I have a couch and love seat
sitting in my garage
waiting to come into the house
out of the Las Vegas heat.

It's the dawn of another day,
Wednesday
trash pick up day
and I'm listening for the garbage truck
to pass through my neighborhood.

An update on the air conditioner issues

Fidál (Grace), 17 ‘Azamat (Grandeur), 166 BE – Tuesday, June 2, 2009 about 5:05 AM Pacific Time

We still don't have a working air conditioner. The soonest we can get it fixed is Thursday, so today I'm going to make an appointment for Thursday morning. Then I can catch up on the on-line work and meeting deadlines. I don't have anything due until Friday until 9:59 Pacific time and I can spend all day Friday completing that project.

In the mean time, I'm doing the majority of my writing off line using a pen and paper. It's been a long time since I've written so much using anything except a keyboard. I can still read my own handwriting, most of the time, the biggest problem with writing that way is my creative spelling. Sometimes, the way I spell a word and it's actually spelling are worlds apart.

I check the temperature at 2:30 AM, when I got up, and again at 4:00 AM, when the alarm went off. The temperature appears to cool down between those times; therefore, I think tonight I'll sleep in my own bed instead of on the couch. There isn't any use getting up until I can work on-line for a little while in the mornings.

This is my own fault, of course. I don't have any emergency fund, which I intend to correct by opening a saving account this month. It only takes $25.00 to open the account, I think between the aluminum cans in my trunk and a little from my Social Security Check I will find the money for that. It doesn't help right now, but it will help in the future. The idea is to learn something from the tests and difficulties faced. Education of the individual is a part of transformation.

Beautiful bright June has arrived

Kamál (Perfection), 16 ‘Azamat (Grandeur), 166 BE – Monday, May June 1, 2009 about 9:17 AM Pacific Time

Beautiful, bright June has arrived. I still have no working central air because it needs a capacitor, which I can't have installed until Wednesday or Thursday when the other check comes into the bank. I'm not rilling out miracles because I know miracles happen.

Considering I have deadlines to meet and can't get on the computer during the heat of the day, I'm in an up beat mood. There isn't any use getting depressed because depression only increases the likely hood of failure. Depression causes me to put things off because I think there isn't any use of trying to accomplish the goal. Most of the writing I need to do can be achieve with a pen and paper rather then typing into a document. I have to rewrite anyway, so I can compose the first draft on long hand and then type it into the word document.

I'm placing everything in God's hands. We've been without central air since Thursday afternoon and it's cooler in the house then it is outside. I don't know what today's temperature is supposed to be because I haven't looked at the news today. I have read the weather report that comes to my e-mail box either. The truth is, it isn't the temperature that I'm worried about. I know we can survive that because we have plenty of water and food. In addition, if it does get too hot in the house we can always move to a cooler location temporarily.