Is it the season or my age?

Istiqlal (Independence), 7 Masá’il (Questions), 171 BE - Thursday, December 18, 2014 about 6:56 pm Pacific Standard Time

I feel rushed. I feel as if I do not have time to do anything. Is it the season of the year? Is it my age? I am not sure which one causes me to feel rushed. It could be that I have spend the last three days running all over Las Vegas, which put me behind (even farther) at home. I remained home today, but I still did not get everything accomplished that I needed to get done.

Tomorrow, Friday, I will be out of the house all afternoon because I have to have someone take me to Boulder City so that I can drive my sister's truck into Las Vegas. My sister will be in Sunrise Hospital for I do not  know how long. Tomorrow I will go to the hospital, pick up the keys to the truck, and drive it back into Las Vegas. Then I will see if I have to go to Searchlight on Saturday to take care of her house there.

I feel rushed

pushed to the limits

of my daily schedule.

I just need to trust in God that everything I have to do will get done. After I have the necessary stuff accomplished then I can do anything else I have time to accomplish or work on. I am going to post this now, so that I can go back to doing something else.

Thought on a Cloudy Tuesday Morning

Fiḍál (Grace), 3 Sulṭán (Sovereignty), 170 BE - Tuesday, January 21, 2014 about 10:14 am Pacific Standard Time

I went to the kidney specialist yesterday, he told me that my kidneys are functioning at about 50% of normal. He also told me, that while I can't restore the lost function, I can slow the lose of function down, which is what I'm going to attempt to do. I have another appointment with this doctor in March and I have to get a blood test at his office in February.

I also have seven other doctor's appointments in February, which makes moving to Searchlight less of an option then it was. The appointments I have cover a four week period with two appointments a week. If I drive to Las Vegas and back to Searchlight that puts me and my car on the road for at least four hours each day. I'm not sure either the car or I could stand the stress. However, I'm getting flack about the apartment I decided to move to in Las Vegas, which increase the stress over moving.

All I want to do is move into the apartment and get my everything situated so that I have less stress. I'm beginning to doubt that here will ever be less stress in my life. Until recently, I thought I was a competent adult and capable of making my own decisions, but I'm beginning to wonder about that; especially with all the flack I'm getting.

I'm almost tempted to find an assisted living place where I have someone to watch over me at all times. At least, then I wouldn't be getting all this flack and no one would have to worry about me. All right, that's not a good idea, but I'm tempted. I'd be a lot less stressed if I wasn't getting as much flack. At this point, I think the best thing to do is stick by my decisions despite. All I need to do is stand up for myself and make my views clear to everyone giving me flack.

Monday Evening January 13, 2014

Fiḍál (Grace), 15 Sharaf (Honor), 170 BE - Monday, January 13, 2014 about 6:01 pm Pacific Standard Time

It's Monday evening and a new solar day has begun. As I sit here looking out my window into the darkness, I wonder what tomorrow will bring.  It's been a stressful couple of weeks of packing and attempting to get a prescription I needed. I called the doctor's office myself this morning and picked up the prescription this afternoon, so I can begin taking it again on Tuesday morning.

This morning, I called in a prescription for my eye drops, which I hope I can pick up either Tuesday or Wednesday. I still have some stuff to pack tonight, but after the trip to the grocery store to pick up the prescription, nine cans of soup (the soup was three cans for $5.00 and I had an e-coupon on my customer card for $2.00), and a box of crackers I'm a bit tired. I'm also hungry so I think I'll open one of  the cans of soup for my supper. I think a can of soup with a peanut butter sandwich sounds good.

I should have gotten another box of crackers, but since I'm going to be moving soon I didn't want to have too much stuff to put in the box of food. If I need another box of cracker, I'll purchase it when I pick up the eye drops (that is if I don't have to wait two weeks for that prescription). I hope I don't because I may be moving to Searchlight and it's difficult to get into Las Vegas on a daily basis.

Setting up Doctor's appointments

Istijlál (Majesty), 13 Qawl (Speech), 170 BE - Thursday, December 5, 2013 about 1:44 PM Pacific Standard Time

I started on November 18, attempting to set up two appointment. I got one appointment, the one for the mammogram arranged almost as soon as I called. That appointment is for the early part of February 2014. The other appointment, was for wound care, which I was finally able to set up this week. That appointment is for December 12, 2013.

I went back to my doctor's office on November 26, for the results of a blood test. She gave me a referral to two specialist. One of the specialist called back on Monday and I made that appointment for the end of January 2014. I called the other specialist today and apparently my doctor's office has the wrong fax number, so now I have to call my doctor back and give them the proper fax number so they can send the paperwork that specialist needs to make my appointment.

I hope I can set that appointment up for January or February because I do not want to spend all of 2014 going to doctor's offices. As it is now, I suspect I will have to come into Las Vegas from Searchlight to keep the appointments I have already made. Oh well, that's life. I just need to take a deep breath and stop complaining because the only thing that complaining does is make  the situation worse.

I Wonder about the Temperature in Searchlight

Fiḍál (Grace), 11 Qawl (Speech), 170 BE - Tuesday, December 3, 2013 about 5:52 AM Pacific Standard Time

I wonder about the temperature in Searchlight,
is it colder there this morning
then here in Las Vegas.

According to weather.com, the temperature in Las Vegas, on this partly cloudy morning, is 44 degrees, but feels like 39.  After checking the weather in Las Vegas, I checked the temperature in Searchlight and its 42 degrees, but feels like 38. There doesn't seem to be that much difference this morning; however, I haven't moved there yet so I could feel a lot different once I'm living there.

The problem is isolation,
or at least the feeling of isolation.

I know that I have to accept the inevitability of moving to Searchlight, but I'm not looking forward to the experience or the isolation. All my friends are here in Las Vegas, true I can probably make new friends there but I can't find anyone there who is a Baha'i. In Searchlight, I won't be able to attend the nineteen-day Feast or the Holy Days. However, it's probably God's will that I move to Searchlight, so I may as well get used to it. Maybe there are advantages to living there that I haven't discovered.

I am on waiting lists in Las Vegas and Searchlight

Jalál (Glory), 11 ‘Ilm (Knowledge), 170 BE - Saturday, October 26, 2013 about 5:49 PM Pacific Daylight Time

I am on another waiting list for a one bedroom apartment, which I cannot afford. I cannot afford to remain in this house and I cannot afford the studio apartment I am going to look at on Monday. I can afford the rents, but I cannot afford the move in fees.  If I am accepted after they places do a credit check and a background check (it is not the background check I am worried about) then I will have to ask my siblings for help with the fees.

I know something will come up that I can afford, I just have to keep on looking. If I do get into the studio, then I have to continue looking for a place because I am not sure I can fit all my books into a studio apartment. I am downsizing as much as possible, but their are some books that I want to keep and take with me.

I looked at a place on Thursday that I like. I did not see the apartment but I saw the building and found out the about what they have going on. There are activities and other fun stuff. Oh well, if I move into the studio then I will have to schedule my own activities. If I schedule my own activities then the only place I will go is spiritual services and the gym. However, those may be the only places I want to go.

I am feeling better this morning

Jamál (Beauty), 17 Nur (Light), 166 BE – Sunday, June 21, 2009 about 6:15 AM Pacific Time

I'm feeling better this morning and I'm not sure of the reason. Actually, I'm not sure why I felt bad for the past few days. I won't say ill because that isn't how I felt, I just felt bad; not like myself and irritable. Anyway, this morning I'm feeling better.

In addition to the evening prayer, I've started saying the Long Healing Prayer revealed by Baha'u'llah before I go to sleep. I'm drinking more water and I'm eating better. Yesterday, I had a portabella mushroom sandwich. In fact, I ate three meals Saturday and drink more water.

Another reason I could be feeling better is that I went to Searchlight, Nevada on Thursday. My sister lives in Searchlight and she had to go back to work, so I drove from Las Vegas to Searchlight Thursday afternoon. It's only about an hours drive so I got there and back in a single afternoon.

I'm glad I'm feeling better today. I like to begin a new week feeling good because it makes the week better. I don't know if I will feel good for the entire week, but I'm feeling good now. I have a lot of writing to catch up because I couldn't focus on writing for several days.