I bought gas today

Istiqlál (Independence), 10 Asma (Names), 165 B.E. – Friday, August 29, 2008 about 7:08 PM Pacific Time

I bought gas today and it brought back memories of my grandfather. I stopped at a self-service station and put gas in my car. I do remember Grandpa putting gas in his own car every once in a while. Usually he did that at gas stations where he knew the attendants and the owners. They would wave at him and say, "Hi, Pete." However, most of the time he would let the attendant fill the tank and check the fluids.

I can fill my own tank with gas, something I never thought I would do when I was growing up. Back then women just did not do that because putting gas in a car was a man's job. When I was growing up, jobs and other things were divided by gender. Women just did not do some things.

Of course, gas was cheaper then and there were more full service stations. Actually, I do not think there were any self-service stations then. I do not remember any in Blackwell, Oklahoma, or any of the surrounding small towns. What I do remember, is my grandfather griping when gas prices raised for $0.50 a gallon to $0.75 or maybe it was from $0.25 to $0.50. Anyway, he griped for at least a week.

Today I am grateful that I paid only $3.57 per gallon for gas. That was one of today's entries in my gratitude journal. Most of my meds cost $4.00 a bottle and that is less then the price of gas today. Most of my mother's meds cost $3.00 a bottle, which is less then the price of gas, but she has health insurance.

I have a doctor's appointment next week

Fidál (Grace), 9 Jamál (Beauty), 165 B.E. – Tuesday, May 6, 2008 about 6:25 PM PDT

I have a doctor's appointment next week. I believe it is on Monday afternoon at 3:00 PM. I changed this appointment last week so I cannot change it again. I am going to have to keep it. I need to get back on my meds. Actually there are many things I need, but the doctor's appointment is the most urgent right now.

I can remember my grandmother going to see the doctor. She would go religiously. I am not like that and I am not sure why. Maybe I take after my grandfater. He did not go to see a doctor unless he absolutely need to see one. I have to absolutely need to see one now.

Maybe I avoid going to a doctor because I have no health insurance. Having no health insurance is a real pain. Without health insurance, I have to let something else go to pay for the doctor. Without health insurance, I have to pay for the entire bill for any lab tests myself. I need lab tests because without them the doctor cannot tell what is wrong with me.

There was a time when I did not realize how important health insurance was and I did not worry about needing this type of insurance. I have changed, I now realize how important it is; the problem is I cannot get and I cannot afford health insurance. I cannot afford to pay the medical bills and I cannot afford health insurance. This is an interesting dilemma.