Last Day of 2005 A.D.

1 Sharaf 162 B.E. - December 30 - 31, 2005 A.D.

In the swift passing of a single year many things happen both good and bad. When something bad happens, people sometimes forget the good things that happened. I sometimes think that one needs to list the good things that happen during the year. I suspect that more good things happen than bad things, but we often forget the good in reviewing the bad. 2006 is almost here and many people will be making resolutions and setting goals. In setting those goals and making the resolutions we need to remember the good of the past year.

I have found that no matter what difficulty on is facing there is always something good either happening or on the verge of happening. We need to look for the good, not only the good events that occur every day, but the good in other people as well. If we look for the good we may just find that more is coming into our lives.

Faith Book Update

17 Masa'il 162 B.E. - December 27 - 28, 2005 A.D.

I am dividing my faith book into 19+, the section will be titled using the Baha'i Months, Ayyam-i-Ha and an Introduction titled The Baha'i Year or something like that. The cover of the faith book is a 9 pointed star. In each section I will place poems and experiences relating to that Feast/Month I have written, the Holy Days celebrated during the month with poems/essays and photo that relate to the Feast, Month, or Experience. Right now the beginnings of my faithbook are on my writing.com web site. I do not have any photos yet, but I think the first photo I will put in the book is a photo of the Baha'i Center in Las Vegas, I'll have to find that photo.

Writing A Blog

17 Masa'il 162 B.E. December 27-28, 2005 A.D.

Writing a blog is some times difficult especially when it comes to topics to write about. There are time when I can think of all sorts of things to write about and other times I am blank. A new year is coming up and my faith is becoming stronger. That would be a good topic the way faith is strengthened. Another topic good topic is prayer or my favorite scripture verses. When it comes to my favorite scripture verses they change over time and according to what is happening in my life. This is going to be a rambling entry. Walking all over the place and getting no where, running in circle out of breath. Driving in circles - which brings me to the fact that I have no sense of direction.

I can find my way in Las Vegas. That is because there are land marks (and I am not talking about a casino) that I can see from almost any place in town. No matter where I am if I can see at least one of my land marks I can find my way around. The problem comes in when it gets dark. Some of the land marks I use when I drive can only be seen in the day time. Getting lost in the dark is an adventure. The problem with getting lost after dark here is the lack of stars. The city is so bright that you can not see the stars. If I could find the Big Dipper and the North Star I might be able to find my way around this city. Well I thank I have rambled on long enough for tonight.

Remembering Christmas

14 Masa'il 162 B.E. - December 24-25, 2005 A.D.

I do not celebrate Christmas, but every year at this time the memory of the way my Grandparents celebrated the holiday comes back to me. For my Grandparents Christmas was not just a holiday, it was a Holy Day a time to celebrate the birth of Christ and to tell the Christmas story and to play Christmas music.

My Grandmother begin to preparations for Christmas the day after Thanksgiving. On that day she got out the Christmas Tree decorations, set the box in the corner of the living room and then on Saturday we would go with my Grandfather to get a Christmas Tree. Then on the Sunday after Thanksgiving we would decorate the Christmas Tree and the Christmas Tree would set in front of the living room window. On top of my Grandparent's Christmas Tree a star and not an angel.

My Grandparents bought a live Christmas Tree for several years while we were growing up. Finally though they got an artificial Christmas Tree, it was a silver tree. Even after they bought the artificial tree, my Grandmother would still get out the box of Christmas Tree decorations and we would decorate the tree on the Sunday after Thanksgiving.

After the tree was decorated my Grandparents would play Christmas music. The Christmas records were always played in December and the Christmas Tree would stay up all of December. The day after the first of January the tree would come down, the box of Christmas decorations would be packed away and the records of Christmas music would be put away.

Another Birthday

13 Masa'il 162 B.E. December 23 - 24, 2005 A.D.

Well another birthday is here, I am another year older and wiser (although I am not sure that wisdom and age necessarily go together). I checked on my profile today, just to make sure everything was the way I want it, and noticed that where I put my birthday and year in the note to the side informed me that the year could be left blank. I, of course, did not remove the year, because it really does not matter if people know precisely how old I am or not - age is relative. A person can appear and act either older or younger then their chronological age. A person can feel either older or younger than they really are, so age is relative.

Modern society puts too much emphasis on age. Do not get me wrong a person should do every thing he or she can to keep themselves looking and feeling as good as possible. However, the that must be done because it makes the individual feel good and not because of any pressure from society or any other individual. We forget that senior citizens have a great deal of knowledge accumulated over their life time. This knowledge not only should be preserved, but it should be sought by the younger people.

Senior citizens have lived through historic events that we only read about in history book. My mother is in her 90s, she lived through the Great Depression and World War II. I remember Viet Nam and the Free Love/Flower Child years. Both my mother and I saw the first man set foot on the Moon. We saw the Berlin Wall come down and remember events of the Cold War. The young people alive today will see World Peace. What I am trying to say is preserve the memories, the events happening in the world today will not happen again. These are historic time and the children of the future will want to know about them. So we need to keep the first hand accounts of them - someone said To forget history is to repeat it, so let us not forget it, to forget the mistakes of history is to repeat those mistakes.

A Turning Point

8 Masa'il 162 B.E. December 18 - 19, 2005 A.D.

I have a birthday coming up on December 24. This year was a turning point in my life. I have learned a lot about myself and I am trusting more in God everyday. I am becoming a more positive person. I am developing my talents.

There are about two or three things in my life that give me joy. The main thing in my life that gives me joy is knowing Baha'u'llah. I became a Baha'i in the mid or late 1970s, I said the prayers He revealed and read scriptures, but until this year I never thought about how much joy I received from the sacred writings. I never thought about the joy of knowing Baha'u'llah. This year I have been going over the reasons I became a Baha'i and the reasons I stayed a Baha'i.

In writing this blog I have not been deciding ahead of time what to write. I just written whatever came into my head at the time I sit down to write. I will probably continue doing it that way most of the time, but I am going to try writing and editing one or two or three entries a head each month and cutting and pasting them into the blog and see how that works.

A Vacation Photo

This is the new photo I am placing in my portfolio. This photo was taken the last time I was at Disney Land. Since I have a birthday coming up soon, I decided to up date the photo. This is not a recent photo, maybe on my next birthday.

A Blog For Cats

5 Masa'il 162 B.E. December 15 - 16, 2005 A.D.

Today I am writing about the sweetest blog I have come across in a long time. The name of the blog is The Daily Kitten, this blog has a new kitten picture on it everyday. The kitten picture is posted at 3:07 p.m. The website address is http://www.dailykitten.com/.

The picture for December 16 is one of a kitten called Grover. Grover is a 12 week old Chocolate Bumilla, he is a beautiful kitten. This is the first time I have heard of a Chocolate Bumilla, so this website is educational. This is a website that parents can let their children access or cat people can let their cats access without any problems. I have book marked The Daily Kitten, in order to access it everyday. Please take a look at it.

Memorial Service

3 Masa'il 162 B.E. December 13 - 14, 2005 A.D.

I went to a memorial (funeral) service on the 12th of December. I say memorial service because it was a true celebration of the woman's life. She had picked out the scriptures that were read at the service herself, in addition combined both the religious heritage she was raised in and the Baha'i Faith she accepted as an adult. The casket was closed and the photo beside the casket were pictures of important points in her life. Photos of the lady with friends and family, of her as a child. It was a true celebration of her life and no a mourning service. She had ascended into the next world, into paradise the memorial service was for her friends and family to remember her.

Feast of Questions

1 Masa'il 162 B.E. December 11 - 12, 2005 A.D.

Masa'il (Questions) is one of the attributes of God, it is also the name of one of the Baha'i months. One Baha'u'llah's teaching is the independent search for truth. Each person is expected to search for truth independently and determine truth for themselves. One can ask other their opinion on something, but when it comes down to deciding what is true then the individual is responsible for determining what it is themselves.

Until I became a Baha'i I never thought much about questions being one of God's attributes. I always knew that what ever my questions were somewhere God had answered those questions even before I ask them. However, I never thought much about the questions God ask. In fact until recently I never thought a lot about the questions God ask me. I go to the scriptures for the answers to the question I have, but I never looked really closely at the questions God ask me.

Lately I have been looking closely at those questions. Maybe it is because I have a birthday coming up soon. My birthday is on 13 Masa'il (December 24). Of course there are the usual question that God ask of every one. These questions are (1) Are you living your life in a way that other's see your faith? (2) Are you bringing yourself to account each day? And changing what you can. (3) Are you making today better then yesterday? Then there are individual question, I think God ask each person individual questions that apply to that person and no one else. I will not go into those questions right now. First I need to make the list.

Faith Book

19 Qawl 162 B.E. December 10 - 11, 2005 A.D.

I have began my Faith Book, it is on my writing.com webpage under the Mystic Writings folder. At this point I have only one entry in it. The first entry is the Baha'i Months, Week Days and Holy Days. The book will contain my spiritual and religious experience, both those I remember and those that are occuring now. I am not sure yet what the next entry will be. I do know that I want to include entries about each feast. There are other things I want to inclue in it as will, but I have not decided precisely what yet. There will be pictures in this book as well as written articles about my experiences. Anyone who wants to see my portfolio can click on the title of this entry.

Season Of Peace

17 Qawl 162 B.E. December 8 - 9, 2005 A.D.

In the twenty-firsts century peace can have no season, otherwise humanity will destroy itself and the planet. This century must be both the century and the season of peace. The individual must strive to overcome personal prejudices so that peace is in the heart and the mind at all time. Peace must start at the grass roots level with the individual. Then spread outward from there. Peace on earth is more than simply political treaties or agreements. Peace on earth is an individual commitment to go beyond the wall of one’s fears and learned prejudices.

We look at the world today and think that peace is not possible, but we are viewing the world from a distorted reality. We are viewing the planet while standing on its surface. We need to look beyond the present crises and see the world as it is view from orbit. When earth is seen from orbit there are no national boundaries or religious demarcation lines. The only boundaries seen from space are natural boundaries: mountains, oceans, seas and rivers. When viewed for orbit earth is a single country and humanity a single race.

NOTE: This was written a couple of days ago as a results of a prompt from one of my writing groups. I do not think this article is finish yet so I will expand it. This was written in about ten minutes (that is the minimum writing time on that prompt group).

Decembers Remembered

14 Qawl 162 B.E. December 5 - 6, 2005 A.D.

December is here and my birthday is on the 24th. Yes, I was born the day before Christamas. Normally when someone ask me about my birthday, I tell them that I was my mother's Christmas present. This year, 2005, has brought about a lot of changes in my life and a lot of soul searching. This time of year the memories of past December's have come to the surface of my mind.

My Grandmother put up a Christmas Tree every year. When we were small it was a live tree, but as we grew up the tree became an artifical tree. My Grandmother never put up the Christmas tree before Thanksgiving. The day after Thanksgiving the tree usually went up and we began decorating it.

What I find most intriguing about Christmas this year is the lights on the houses. I do not remember lights on houses when I was small. There were lights in window and inside houses on the trees, but I do not think there were lights on the outside, at least I never saw any in the town we lived in (which does not mean there were not light, I just never saw them).

Any way back to the memories. My Grandmother enjoyed cooking. So every year she would start several days before Christmas and New Years baking pies. She always fixed a turkey for Christmas and do a lot of cooking. Then on Christmas we would have in family and friends. We never had very much left over Turkey on Thanksgiving or Christmas.

Another thing my Grandmother did was start several days before New Year's Day and clean the house. There was only a certain amount of work allowed on New Year's Day because my Grandmother said: "What you do on New Year's Day, you will be doing the rest of the year." The only work allow on New Year's Day was necessary chores, such as making the bed (because if we left the bed unmade on New Year's Day it would go unmade the rest of the year). Another necessary chore was the dishes, for my Grandmother the washing the dishes was a part of doing the cooking (besides if the dishes remained unwashed on New Year's Day ... well you know the rest of the story). Laundry did not get done on new year's day, if it was not done by December 31 at midnight it had to wait until January 2 at 12:01 to get done.

I Did It

12 Qawl, 162 B.E. December 3 - 4, 2005 A.D.

I complete the 50,000 word novel,with the working title of Scavenger, now all I have to do it edit it. I am contemplating renaming this novel.

I have started composing a collection of my poem titled The History of the Divine Feminine.

I am also working on eithe a novel or a novella with the working title of The Story of Earth's Desire.

Think that is all for today.

Novel Writing Month Day 7

4 Qudrat 162 B.E. November 6-7, 2005 A.D.

I am struggling to write chapter four today. This is the seventh day of Novel Writing Month and I am having difficulties writing today. I started chapter four, but I have not gotten very far on it. I do not know what is wrong. However, my inner critic is acting up and I am having problems getting past the first page of this chapter. I have written over 5,000 words and I have about 4,500 words left to write. I have not written the amount of words I wanted to write up to this point. This is the seventh day of the Novel Writing Month, I had intended to have over 7,000 words written up to this point.

OK, I am looking on the negative side of things. I know this is just a speed bump in the process. It will pass, it is just not passing fast enough. I have to look at the end of this processes which will be a novel. Now that I have written the problem out. I will go on with the chapter. I am too critical about my own writing. I have a tendency to rewrite while I am working on the uncompleted writing project. I do think of things that have to go in earlier chapters when I am working on the present chapter then I go back and add the stuff.

Writing My Novel Day 1

18 'Ilm 162 B.E. November 1-2, 2005 A.D.

November 1 was the first day of Novel writing month. I have started my 50,000 word novel. I am making progress. My inner critic is acting up, trying to find reasons that I will fail and not finish the novel. However, I am ignoring my inner critic and I am making progress on my novel. I have posted an excerpt and a word count on the National Novel Writing Month website.

I have came up with strategies to help me write. One strategy is to take the prompt given out by my prompt groups and use them to write content for my novel. Another strategy is to get away from the novel when I find myself stuck. Another strategy is just to keep writing when I am stuck. Sometimes it helps to keep writing and sometimes it helps to get away from what I am doing. I haven't decided which is best. Both way may work depending on the conditions and where I am stuck at in the novel.

As the old saying goes: "So far so good!" (I wonder if I can use that in the novel). Anyway I am working on the novel and when I am not working on the novel I am thinking about it or I am thinking about how I am going to reward myself when I am finished. I have not decided on the specific reward yet. I have consider some reward options, but nothing definite yet.

Sunday Services

16 'Ilm 162 B.E. October 30-31, 2005 A.D.

I went to Sunday Services at the Baha'i Center in Las Vegas today. The service was beautiful, the reading were awe inspiring and the feeling was spiritual. This is the first Sunday that the Las Vegas Baha'i Choir sang at the Sunday Services. The choir was exquisite. You could feel the spirituality when they sang. The songs the choir intoned complimented the readings from the scriptures.

The services at the center are always spiritual, but today's services had a different feeling then usual. There is something special about having a live choir perform rather than a CD of uplifting music. A live choir adds something special to the services. I have always like gospel and spiritual music above other types of music.

As the voices of the choir ascended my spirit ascended
My soul responded to the music by singing the glory of God
Music is the tongue of the human soul
The voice of the spirit

I am not sure precisely what else I am going to say in this poem about the choir. I am not even sure just yet what I am going to call this poem - Sunday Services. I do not think that is going to be the final name of the poem, but it is alright as a working title.

Scent of Memory

14 'Ilm 162 B.E. October 28-29, 2005

It's amazing what a scent can bring to mind. I find that even the subtlest scent brings back memories of my Grandparent. My Grandmother didn't dry her cloths in an electric or even a gas dryer. When she did the washing she would hang the wet cloths out and let them dry in the sun. What brought this memory back was the scent of the dryer sheets that we use. For some reason the scent of the fabric softener sheets we use reminds me of wash days at my Grandparents.

When my Grandmother did the laundry, my Grandfather would carry the cloths basket the wet cloths were in out to the line. After the he carried the cloths basket to the line, my Grandmother would hang the cloths on the line. While my Grandmother was hanging out the cloths my Grandfather would do other stuff around the house, but he always carried the basket of wet cloths to the line for my Grandmother. My Grandmother would hang the cloths out and then she would do another load of washing.

After my Grandfather retired the wash day ritual was always the same. My Grandmother would do the washing and my Grandfather would carry the cloths to the line for her. I remember that the washing machine was in a room toward the back of their house. I think he added the room to the house himself.

My Grandparents contributed a great deal to the way I feel about myself and the world around me. I always enjoyed being with my Grandparents and the memories I have of them usually return quite vividly when aroused by a scent.

Rain in the Desert

10 'Ilm 162 B.E. October 24 - 25, 2005 A.D.

Rain in the desert is always welcome. Even though it floods in Las Vegas when it rains, there are still some of us who welcome the rain and look forward to it. There was a story or tradition I once heard that angels carry each drop of rain to earth. I think this is a wonderful concept. I can just imagine the angels carrying each drop to earth and placing it in the desert. There must be a angels needed carry raindrops to earth. It didn't rain very long and the rain that did fall is drying up, but the time it did rain the wind blew and carried the scent of the rain across the city.

I wonder what type of angels carry raindrops to earth. Are there special angels that have only one job and that job is to carry raindrops to earth? Does each different part of the world have different angels that work in that part carrying raindrops to earth? What do the angels that carry raindrops to earth do when its not raining? Perhaps it is always raining someplace in the world and the angels go where they are needed.

My Inner Critic

8 'Ilm 162 B.E. October 22-23, 2005 A.D.

Why is it that I listen to my inner critic, when I know that his opinion is not valid. Why do I refer to my inner critic as he. I am a woman, true I have had some very bad experiences with men, but not all men are louses. Some men are quite nice and show respect for a woman’s hopes and dreams. However, I still refer to my inner critic as he. I suppose a psychologist could make something of this, but at this point, I don’t want to be psychoanalyzed or even psychoanalyze myself. I am just trying to find a way to overcome or drown out my inner critic.

My inner critic always looks on the negative side of things. He tells me my writing is no good and that I have no talent. This is not the way a writer needs to look at her work. I know how I feel when I listen to my inner critic - I fee depressed. At this moment, while I am writing this, I can hear my inner critic telling me “This is stupid.” or “You’re not really writing this are you.” When I write the voice of my inner critic is distant and almost drowned out by my writing.

What I am say is that my inner critic doesn’t seem to be a problem when I am writing. He (my inner critic) is a problem before I start to write. He tells me, “You can’t think of anything to write.” or “This is stupid.” The last statement is the one he uses most, I hear “This is stupid.” a lot from my inner critic.

Going back to finding a way to overcome the voice of my inner critic there is an article in the November 2005 issue of Writer’s Digest concerning the inner critic. The article is by Jacquelyn B. Fletcher and is called Squelch Your Inner Censor and gives several suggestions on silencing the inner critic. I think I will try some of them and see how it works. Of course not every method is going to work for every writer, but there has to be one method that will work for me.

Love's Enigma

7 'Ilm 162 B.E. October 21-22, 2005 A.D.

Love's Enigma is going to be a poem. I'm at the brain storming part of the poem, so I'm going to use this blog to brain storm this poem today. I got the idea while reading a poem that defined love. That poem was by someone in one of the groups I belong to. The poem was beautiful and visual. However, I want Love's Enigma to be a bit different from that poem. So I am going to start writing and see what I come up with.

Brain Storming Love's Enigma

What mystery is this that come in the silent morning,
A voice whispering across eaons of desire.

Why does the riddle of memories scattered across
The sands of forgotten beaches haunt my midnight dreams.

When will the puzzle of your parting words fit
Into a coherent picture that makes sense.

Where will I find you waiting for me
I have looked into the face of fire and can not see you.

Who remembers you besides me
I have spoken your name to the wind
And it echoes it back to me.

How do I recognize you in you new form
I remember you as you were when love was new
And we were the only ones in the garden.

Now there are others walking the paths that we walked
I cannot see you, but you are reflected in their eyes.

Every where I look I see the reflection of your face
Every where I walk I hear the echoes of your steps
Reverberating across the beach of my desire.

Love, Beloved, Lover all become one in the dawn
The sun and the stars orbit the galactic center of your memory.

I am the planet waiting and you are the star of my longing.
Love, Beloved, Lover are only words when compared with the memory
Of our last meeting.

Intriguing Words

6 'Ilm 162 B.E. October 20-21, 2005 A.D.

I subscribe to two daily newsletters that send me a new word each day. One of them is Doctor Dictionary and it comes from dictionary.com. The other is Wordsmiths and its e-mail address is linuaphile@wordsmith.org. Each of these newsletters sends me a new word along with the meaning of the word. The wordsmith’s newsletter usually gives a bit of history or interesting facts about the word. Both newsletters give quotes in which the word us used and the pronunciation of the word. I usually save them until I can use the word in a story, poem, or essay.

I have gotten some intriguing words from each newsletter. Following are some words from each of the newsletters. (1) Pelf, which has to do with money and suggest the concept of ill gotten. This was one of the doctor Dictionary words. (2) Heterography, derived from a Greek word, this word, refers to word spelled different from the modern spelling or a letter that suggest a different sound. This was one of the Wordsmith words.

I haven’t yet found a place to use some of the words. Some of them I can use in the novel I’m writing in November. I can use some words in description of characters and setting. I can use some for describing or naming the career of minor or main characters. I may try using some of the words in the names of characters. A few of the words would be good to give as names of minor characters, especially if I don’t want to go into a detailed description but want the reader to get information about the characteristics of the character.

Reading a Prayer Revealed by Baha'u'llah

6 'Ilm 162 B.E. October 20 -21, 2005 A.D.

I was feeling a bit low
looking for something to lift my spirits
to make my soul and mind happy.

I opened my prayer book
and turned a page
I had often turned to before,
there the prayer I have often read,
a prayer I have often said before.

As I read it over again -
"Dispel my grief ..."
the words spoke directly to me
and scattered my sadness
I could feel the bounty of God
descending and scattering the clouds
that hid the sun of faith and love.

I felt the holy spirit
come into my life,
I felt the joy of a new day
but outside Earth's night was here.

The Spiral Galaxy NGC 1097

3 'Ilm 162 B.E. October 17-18, 2005 A.D.

I subscribe to an e-mail newsletter from science.com. This newsletter has an image of the day which show a different photo. One of the images of the day was NGC 1097
(http://www.space.com/imageoftheday/image_of_day_051018.html). I was looking at this image and reading the information about it. At the center of this spiral galaxy is a massive black hole. When you look at the picture of the galaxy you see the center as bright and beautiful. You do not see the black hole. The black hole is hidden beneath the light of stars being pulled into the black hole. As I was looking at the picture, I realized that it answered a question. The question is answered was "What can hide night but a deeper darkness?" As I was looking at the picture of NGC 1097 I realized that what conceals night is not a deeper darkness but light.

Indeed if we did not know light we would not know darkness or night. The only way we can actually experience night or darkness is by comparing it with light. It is amazing what looking at a simple photo will do. You can meditation and any item and find some type of enlightenment. Well those are my thoughts for today.

Novel Writing Month

2 'Ilm 162 B.E. October 16-17, 2005

November is national novel writing month. The website (http://www.nanowrimo.org/) is having a contest. The challenge is to write a 50,000 word novel during the month of November. I signed up to write a novel during the month of November. The novel I am going to write is a science fiction novel.

I always wanted to write a novel. I'm not sure why, but I've always wanted to write one. I encountered this web site last year and thought it was interesting. I was tempted to take the challenge then, but I let my inner critic stop me. This year is different. I have decided to do decided to do what I've always wanted to do and never did. So I took the challenge this year and signed up to write a 50,000 word novel in thirty days. Just for the record that means I need to write about 1,667 words a day.

The butterfly is coming out of her cocoon. I am still having problems with my inner critic. However, when I decide what I am going to do and just do it the inner critic or the voice of doubt goes away, at least for a littler while.

Didjeridoo

15 Mashiyyat 162 B.E. October 10-11, 2005 A.D.

There is a poet in Las Vegas who plays a didjeridoo. At one of the open mics (the one on Sunday night) he brings the didjeridoo and plays it. I heard if first a couple of weeks ago and I've been contemplating a poem about it since then. So far I've gotten only a few words. I'm still brain storming the poem.

Didjeridoo

nature's music
bird calls
my soul responds
its melody summons me out of civilization's comic opera
I want to roam the wilderness without modern vehicles
I want to walk from water hole to water hole with the Beloved
alone with God

Drinking of Cool, Clear Water

12 Mashiyyat 162 B.E. October 7-8, 2005 A.D.

Reading Prayers And Meditations by Baha'u'llah and translated by Shoghi Effendi is like a sip of cool clear water. My spirit is invigorated and refreshed. The words of the prayers focus my attention on the blessing of God. I am taken out of myself by the word of God. When I read these prayers either out loud or quietly to myself I feel the Holy Spirit flowing through the words.

When I pray I could say my own words, but I get a different feeling when I read the words revealed by Baha'u'llah. In addition, when I read the words of Baha'u'llah I am inspired to write on a different level than when the inspiration come from other sources. The prayers also inspire me to work toward transformation.

Coffee Does Not Keep Me Awake

11 Mashiyyat 162 B.E. October 6-7, 2005 A.D.

Coffee doesn't keep me awake. No matter how late I drink it I can still go to sleep. What does keep me awake is my creativity. If I am working on a story or a poem I can't go to sleep. There are other things that keep me awake, but those are minor. I have one time during the month that no matter what I can't sleep. I just lay there looking at the darkness. No matter how boring looking at darkness is it doesn't put me to sleep. In fact when I can't sleep nothing will put me to sleep. I can read or play online games and I still won't get sleepy. At those time I have to close my eyes and pretend I am asleep, that doesn't let me sleep but I don't toss and turn so my body rests. I usually get up and work on a story or poem, but sometimes I come to a dead end and can't write any more so I have to lay down and pretend I am asleep. So maybe it isn't the creativity that keeps me awake after all. I am not sure what keeps me away when I can't sleep.

Coffee doesn't keep me awake. When I can't sleep I notice the night noises more. The night noises in Las Vegas are not much different from the night noises in any other city in the country. There are the normal noises a city makes. There are the normal noises a neighborhood makes. Both of these can be heard from my house. The one of the neighbors has a dog that barks most of the time at night, but that has become background noise. Barking dogs don't keep me awake either. There are also the normal noises that a house makes in the middle of the night, those don't keep me awake.

Coffee doesn't keep me awake. I am not sure what does keep me awake. Sometimes I just can't sleep no matter how hard I try. I can't blame my inability to sleep on anything. On the nights I can't sleep my mind seems to be flitting from one idea to the next. I try lots of things to get to sleep. I read, review the prayers and scriptures I've memorized, try memorizing scriptures, try writing poems, and a dozen other things. However, on nights I can't sleep it is because I just can't sleep. I have no reason for why.

Laughter God's Gift to Humanity

10 Mashiyyat 162 B.E. October 5-6, 2005 A.D.

I have come to realize that laughter is one of God's gifts to humanity. I have found, at least in my own life, that laughter helps me to look at life a bit more clearly. I sometimes have a tendency to be slightly depressed and when I laugh the depression goes away. I laugh at different things at different times, so precisely what makes me laugh is not always clear.

I also found in the past few months that I have had a tendency toward hysterical laughter. I define hysterical laughter as laughing at something that does not appear, and under ordinary conditions would not be, funny. An example is getting a power bill that tells you the power company is going to turn off your electricity in a few days. This particular incident happened to me several months ago. I picked the power bill up and starting laughing. OK, the idea of having your electricity turned off probably was not funny, but everything had been piling up and this was just one more thing. Instead of setting down and crying (which would probably be a normal reaction) I laughed.

Of course, with me, this reaction may not be unusual. Under normal condition I have a slightly off beat sense of humor. Lately I have been finding that if I laugh, especially at myself, my life goes better. That gives me two things that make life go better - prayer and laughter.

Morning in Las Vegas

9 Mashiyyat 162 B.E. October 4-5, 2005 A.D.

Looking out my front room window, I watch the wind blowing through the olive tree and stone pines in my yard. The sun rising over Frenchman's Mountain, also known as Sunrise Mountain, cast light on the trees. This time of year the morning sun high lights the leaves more than the bark of the trees. The rising sun turns the leaves silver and gold depending on the tree and the way the light is reflected.

The temperature is cool here this time of year, the last few days it has been between 75 degrees and 80 degrees in the house. This means that the central air does not come on, which is good. However, it does get a bit cold late at night and early of a morning. I am going to put a heavier blanket on the bed, do not want to turn the heat on yet.

Lately the process of transformation has been going smoothly. I guess that's how it works sometimes transformation moves at a swift pace, but most of the time it is slow. I am encountering writers' block on and off, which does not help much. I have found out something about myself though. When I am confronted with writers' block I want to play Free Cell and other computer games. This does not help the writer's block, the best thing for writers' block is to sat (or is it set) down and start writing. It does not matter what you write as long as you write.

I am taking a free online writing course, I have one more lesson to submit this week. So far I have submitted two lessons and a selection of my completed or uncompleted pieces. The responses to the lessons I have submitted have submitted have mostly been characters and work on stories I am working on. Although, one of the lessons called for responses that had nothing to do with anything I am working on. That is good because now I have ideas for other stories and essays I can write.

I think I am going to put a little more personal experience and memories into some of my stories. I find that I gravitate toward science fiction and fantasy rather than other types of stories. I am working on some personal essays, I am going to write one about an experience from childhood. This is a memory about my grandparent's and a mobile home they kept at a recreational area - Lake Blackwell - in Oklahoma. Well, I think that is all for today.

October

4 Mashiyyat 162 B.E. September 30 - October 1, 2005

Well today is the first of October. So far it's been an interesting year. OK, maybe interesting is not the right word here, but it's the most positive word I can come up with. This month has a lot going on. There is 20th when I will be celebrating the Birth of the Bab. I am attempting to come up with a poem, but I want something different this year. I've written other poems about the Bab's birth, of of which was put to music. Then there is the Feast of 'Ilm on the evening of the 15th.

In the wider community of Las Vegas there is the 31st, Halloween to most of the country. In Nevada the 31st of November is Nevada Day. Yes, Nevada became a state on Halloween. Any way we have not decided what I am going to do that day, normally we go out - to a movie or something - until after 10:30 or 11 p.m. I think I'd like to do something different this year, but haven't decided what I want to do. Mom says she is happy with what ever we do. If we stay home we always get too much candy and there is candy left overe for a month at least.

New Beginnings

1 Mashiyyat 162 B.E. September 26-27, 2005 A.D.

Today is the first day of the month of Mashiyyat (Will). I have been think about new beginnings and sayings refer to new beginnings. One saying that keeps running though my mind is "Today is the first day of the rest of your life." It is a nice saying, but I do not think it refers to new beginnings. Maybe it is about time to come up with a new saying that works better for new beginnings. I guess if one is going to come up with a new saying for new beginnings, one should define what new beginnings mean.

New beginning means different thing to different people and something different for each phase of a person's life. This is a phrase that each person must define for him/her self. Maybe that is the problem with the saying I just mentioned and many others. They don't apply to me at this point in my life. That is an intriguing thought.

I think the reason I am thinking about new beginnings is that it is a new month. A new month always brings new experiences and new thoughts. It is a time to review the past month and to set new goals or rework the old goals. A time to look at what one has accomplished and wants to accomplish. For me the first day of the is a month is a chance to attend the Feast (which I did on the evening of the 26th).

Leap of Faith

13 'Izzat 162 B.E. September 19-20, 2005 A.D.

Invisible path
Fog shrouded forest hidden
Darkness/night concealed

That is as far as I've gotten on that poem. Need a little more work. Not sure at this point where it is going.

The next issues is writing daily in my blog. Seem to have some trouble with that maybe I need to attempt two or three times a week rather than daily. I haven't had writers' block, but have worked on other writing projects.

The Journey

19 Asma 162 B.E. September 6 - 7, 2005 A.D.

Is it the journey or the destination that is important? I have heard two views on this, but I have not heard any facts on either view. The path a person takes in life changes many times. We encounter forks and crossroads that change the direction. At each fork or crossroad we make a decision, the decision about which way we turn cannot be change and we cannot go back to the same fork or crossroad intersection. We are always moving forward or we are standing still agonizing over decisions (when we should be moving forward). If we want to change our direction we must change it at the next fork or crossroad intersection.

When we come to a fork or crossroad, we often have to make split second decisions without knowing it is the right decision or not. We make our decision and move forward on our chosen path or we agonize over the decision wasting precious time over it. If we agonize we often let fear decide for us and do not take the fork or intersection path we want to take. If we do not agonize over the decision, we let our intuition or gut feeling indicate which way we are supposed to go. Either way there is no turning back and to change our path we must wait for the next intersection to change the direction we are going. If we are on the wrong path we will soon know it and another fork or crossroads is approaching, so we again have a change to decided on the direction we want to go.

Poem Beginning And Title

15 Asma 162 B.E. (September 2 -3, 2005 A.D.)

OK, I am going to put the poem Psalms to a New Day away for a while. I think I am focusing too hard on it. Sometimes good titles come without poems, sometimes the poems come without good titles and sometimes I simply need to focus on something else for a while. I have lots to do and write. I have at least three short stories I to finish and a novel to work on.

14 Asma 162 B.E. (September 1 - 2, 2005 A.D.)

I know I don't have writers' block, because I have written a number of different things. In addition, I have rewritten some poems as well. Maybe I need to combine these thoughts into a poem or essay.

13 Asma 162 B.E. (August 31 - September 1, 2005 A.D.)

Dawn over the Rockies reverberates with the .... May be that would be a good begining for a the poem Psalms to a New Day. However, I it doesn't feel like it belongs to that poem.


12 Asma 162 B.E. (August 30 - 31, 2005 A.D.)

Psalms to a New Day - This is a good title (at least I think it is), bu I can't seem to come up with anything. Maybe I am trying too hard on this one.

Essay Beginnings

11 Asma 162 B.E. August 29 - 30, 2005 A.D.

I believe peace on earth is, not only, possible, but inevitable. It is a promise from God, given in every Holy Book and assured by every Prophet-Messenger. I believe humanity is a single species created to carry forward a constantly advancing civilization. I believe my purpose is to know and love God. To reflect the divine attributes as best I can.

10 Asma 162 B.E. August 28 - 29, 2005 A.D.

Every day is a test waiting to happen. A struggle between what spirit desires and what the I (animal-ego) desires. To survive the one must pray and bring self to account for actions. Ask the hard questions that come up. Knowledge of self is gained through tests. Faith is gained through tests.

9 Asma 162 B.E. August 27 - 28, 2005 A.D.

Love is the reason God created the universe and put the planet into orbit. Love is the reason every Prophet-Messenger appeared. Love is the reason every Holy Book was revealed. Love is a divine attribute and a gift to humanity.

My Favorite Time of Day

8 Asma 162 B.E. August 26 - 27, 2005 A.D.

Morning is my favorite time of day. That is the time when the world is fresh and life is renewed from a night's sleep. It is the time when I feel the presence of the Holy Spirit strongest. It is the time when I chant God's Most Great Name. It is the time when I feel closest to my Lord.

Things That Make Me Happy

7 Asma 162 B.E. August 25-26, 2005 A.D.

A couple of days ago I posted a list of Things That Make Me Happy. I discovered something else this morning that makes me happy. Today we received a newspaper, the first newspaper I have had delivered to the house for over a year. Reading it I found that another thing that makes me happy is reading the comic page and drinking coffee. This brought up a question concerning happiness. The question is - Since happiness is a spiritual attribute and both the comic page and coffee are material things, How can a material thing make one happy? I have thought about this question and I have no answer at this time. This is something I need to explore a little more.

I know why reading the sacred scriptures makes me happy. I can feel the presence of the Holy Spirit when I read the scriptures Baha'u'llah or the Bab have revealed. It is the presence of the Holy Spirit that makes me happy then. However, when I am reading a comic page and drinking a cup of coffee what is it that makes me happy then? Is it that this action reminds me of a happy time in my childhood. My father would hold me on his lap while he drink a cup of coffee and read the comic pages to me. Is this why drinking coffee and reading the comic pages makes me happy? That explanation sounds logical.

My Inner Critic

5 Kamal 162 B.E. August 4 - 5, 2005 A.D.

Everybody, whether writer or nonwriter, has an inner critic. It is the negative voice that shouts to you whenever you start to do something that is out side your comfort zone. It yells and ties your stomach in knots whenever you attempt something new. Sometimes it shouts in a familiar voice from one's childhood and sometimes it takes the voice of the person him/herself. We all know it when we hear it. It speaks to us in derogatory phrases and tells us we are incapable of succeeding.

Everyone has a different way of handling the inner critic. Some of us continue pushing, writing or whatever we are doing until it goes away. Some of use a system of rewards for not listening to it. Some of us have go so far as to describe it and found similar images in cultural icons or our personal lives; then went on to burn those images, shut them into closets or put them in trash cans to overcome that voice. My personal way for overcoming the voice is to say a prayer of protection before I start a writing project or any type of project that activates my inner critic.

Writing Prompts

3 Kamal 162 B.E. July 2 - 3, 2005 A.D.

Have you ever considered how much fun it is to write from a writing prompt. I have. I am subscribed to several writing prompt groups that send a writing prompt either every day, every week or every month. True I have not used them in some time, but I have saved some of them that I found intriguing. I have decided to use some of those prompts in this journal. Some of the prompts are easy to find a personal approach, while other prove difficult. However, I (and this is just a personal opinion) think a writer can find a personal approach to any subject. Since I am finding it difficult to find something to write about, I am going to be using some of those prompts in the next few days and/or weeks. I will put the group that the prompt came from and how to find it in the introduction to the essay or article.

My Day

2 Kamal 162 B.E. July 1- 2, 2005

Epiphany #2: Goals

15 Kalimat 162 B.E. July 27-28, 2005 A.D.

I have found that I need to write my goals down and display them if I am going to achieve them. I have a tendency to procrastinate and if the goals are not written down, I put them off. Also I need encouragement to achieve them. So I am going to post my writing goals in the Snowflake Chronicles. That way I have them written in a place that I can find them and I have a support team to ask me how I am doing. May also post some of them on this blog as well, but I have not decided yet. If I do post any in this blog it will be those I want to explore here. I will only post about nineteen at a time. OK, I have a tendency to either over estimate or under estimate what I can do at any given time. You would think at my age I would have figured out what my limitations are. Although I do not think the problem has much to do with limitation. I suspect I am trying to stretch. One goal I am going to list here right now is this: I am going to write one hundred words each day for the next week. This a pledge a made to a writing.com group. I am also reviewing book for the next month chapter by chapter for a contest at writing.com. I think that is all for now. I am part of the feature at a poetry reading to night and I need to get ready to go.

Epiphany #1: procrastination

15 Kalimat 162 B.E. July 26 - 27, 2005 A.D.

I realized today there are several reasons I procrastinate. First, is fear. Second, I over think when I go to do something. Both reasons are probably related. However, I am not going to go into that right now. In fact the over thinking may lead to the fear or, at least, feed it. I think the best thing may be to just do it. That way I do not over think and feed the fear. Usually when I "just do it" (so to speak) I do not over think the process and whatever I am doing turns out alright (or is it all right).

OK, now that I have written that - what else was I going to say? Oh yes, I am now a preferred author at writing.com. You can click on the Prosperous Snow link to get to my writing.com website. Why Prosperous Snow? Interesting question. Prosperous is the meaning of my middle name and Snow the meaning of my first name.

My Thoughts On the Past Few Days

14 Kalimat 162 B.E. (July 25-26, 2005 A.D.)

It has been an interesting few days. I have did a lot of writing, just not in my blog. On one of those days there was a storm. I listened to the rain that day. The other days I reviewed writing at writing.com. While doing the review I learned a lot about review and about writing. So now I am going to approach some essays and other ideas I have. I am not going to stop review I am simply going to slow it down a little and not do as much as I did in those few days.

Yesterday I spent most of the day reading and waiting for my brakes to be fixed. Now I have to raise the money to have the struts fixed. It is always something. Life does not give you a brake. Anyway that is how things have been going.

This morning the birds around my house were happy, extremely happy. The all sing (sang) [which ever] at once, sounded good to hear creatures happy to see the morning sun. While that it for now.

Feast of Word

3 Kalimat 162 B.E. (July 14-15, 2005 A.D.)

Every word has a different flavor. Some words have simple flavors and other words complicated flavors. It is the job of a poet to combine those flavors into recipes that are savory.

Well it is a start. I am not sure where it is going at this time, but it is going someplace. Got this idea a few days ago when I went to Feast and have been trying to work on it. However, I seem to have hit a brick wall. Nothing seems to come. It isn't a case of writer's block because I have written other things and even submitted a couple of items. Not sure what is happening with this piece. Maybe I need to do a free write or try associating flavors with words. This happens every once in a while, I start an essay or poem and it doesn't go any where. I usually let it lay for a while and then get back to the piece I'm writing. I've got other things to work on so I'll let this one lay a while and see what I come up with. It's just bugging me that it won't go anyplace right now.

Encountered On My Journey

2 Kalimat 162 B.E. (July 13-14, 2005 A.D.)

In my soul's journey toward spirituality, it is carried through this material world by my body. On this journey I encounter many conditions, people and things that either attach me to this material or physical plane or guide me toward the spiritual plane. Each of these encounters - whether it attaches me to the material plane (or world which ever one wants to call it) or guides me toward the spiritual - assist my soul in it journey. One of the recent encounters that helps guide my soul toward the spiritual realm is Joseph Sheppherd's book A Wayfarer's Guide to Bringing the Sacred Home.

Scattered through out this amazing book are quotations and prayers from the Baha'i sacred writings. These quotations and prayers assist my soul in its journey by illuminating the path it is taking. The quotations assist my soul by giving suggestions on the way I need to act and react to conditions encountered. The prayers focus my attention on God and His Glory. Both the quotations and prayers encourage my quest for spirituality. However, this is not a quest that I can achieve without test and difficulties nor can I achieve it by isolating myself from the rest of humanity. For me, at least, spirituality is something that must be achieved while walking through the material world with the rest of humanity.

This is the first in a series of blog entries on encounters on my journey. In the up coming weeks and months I will write about other encounters I have had and will have on this journey. I will also continue to write about poetry and writing ideas I come up with. For me writing is a part of the journey, I can not separate writing from the journey any more than I can separate my faith from the journey. For me both writing and faith are important to the journey and to the achievement of the goal.

My Blog Journey

Creating this blog has taken a long time. Deciding how I wanted the title to look and what I wanted it to say took a while. This is a journal of faith, writing and transformation; each a component of my soul's journey. I cannot separate faith from my life, from my writing or from transformation.

We are all butterflies emerging from our cocoons as we journey through this material plain. It is not an easy journey, rather it is a process of developing the spiritual attributes necessary to our soul's in the next world. Each of us face tests that help us develop these attributes; each of us face choices and those choices help us learn both trust in God and develop spiritual attributes.

For myself I must write about the journey. I am compelled to write poems, essays and short stories that reflect that journey and, in some way, describe the journey. Each of us must find our own way to describe the journey of transformation.

18 Rahmat 162 B.E. (July 10-11, 2005 A.D.)