Idal (Justice), 10 ‘Alá (Loftiness), 171 BE - Wednesday, March 11, 2015 about 5:20 pm Pacific Daylight Time
The sun did not penetrate the could cover today. A bird is singing in
the pine tree across the street. The bird obviously has something to
sing about. I am not sure if I have anything to sing about. I am
depressed. I may have a reason to be depressed or it could be the cloudy
day. I can never tell at times like this because the clouds usually
show up when I have something to be depressed about.
I am I depressed because I need to get some money into my bank account
by Monday? Am I depressed because it is a cloudy day and I cannot feel
the sun on my face? Am I depressed because I do not have enough money in
my savings account to transfer to my checking account? Why am I
depressed? Is the dreary day making my depression worse?
I wish I had an answer to all these questions. I want a job that will
pay me money once or twice a month. I am semiretired which means I do
not make enough to supplement the monthly check I have coming in. I am
depressed. I am semiretired. I do not have to worry about food, but I
have to worry about other things. I know one action I can take now to
help me next month, but it will not give me any help this month. I will
take that action tomorrow after I returned from the food bank.
Fortunately, I will work outside my house one day in April and one day
in June. That helps a little, but not very much. I am thankful for what I
have. I have enough food to eat. I can scrape enough money together
once a month for gas in the car, but I have to be careful about driving
the car because it uses gas, which I can only purchase once a month.
Usually writing helps my depression, but this blog entry is not
alleviating. I do not think it is making the problem worse, but it is
not making it any better.
I am going to post this entry and then I will take my vitamin D tablet.
After taking the vitamin I will say some prayers. After saying prayers, I
will attempt to write a story or poem. I hope that one of those things
helps my depression. I will be so glad to see the sunshine again.
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