Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Midweek Reflections: Birds Singing Under a Cloudy Sky and I am Depressed

Idal (Justice), 10 ‘Alá (Loftiness), 171 BE - Wednesday, March 11, 2015 about 5:20 pm Pacific Daylight Time

The sun did not penetrate the could cover today. A bird is singing in the pine tree across the street. The bird obviously has something to sing about. I am not sure if I have anything to sing about. I am depressed. I may have a reason to be depressed or it could be the cloudy day. I can never tell at times like this because the clouds usually show up when I have something to be depressed about.

I am I depressed because I need to get some money into my bank account by Monday? Am I depressed because it is a cloudy day and I cannot feel the sun on my face? Am I depressed because I do not have enough money in my savings account to transfer to my checking account? Why am I depressed? Is the dreary day making my depression worse?

I wish I had an answer to all these questions. I want a job that will pay me money once or twice a month. I am semiretired which means I do not make enough to supplement the monthly check I have coming in. I am depressed. I am semiretired. I do not have to worry about food, but I have to worry about other things. I know one action I can take now to help me next month, but it will not give me any help this month. I will take that action tomorrow after I returned from the food bank.

Fortunately, I will work outside my house one day in April and one day in June. That helps a little, but not very much. I am thankful for what I have. I have enough food to eat. I can scrape enough money together once a month for gas in the car, but I have to be careful about driving the car because it uses gas, which I can only purchase once a month. Usually writing helps my depression, but this blog entry is not alleviating. I do not think it is making the problem worse, but it is not making it any better.

I am going to post this entry and then I will take my vitamin D tablet. After taking the vitamin I will say some prayers. After saying prayers, I will attempt to write a story or poem. I hope that one of those things helps my depression. I will be so glad to see the sunshine again.

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