Thought on a Cloudy Tuesday Morning

Fiḍál (Grace), 3 Sulṭán (Sovereignty), 170 BE - Tuesday, January 21, 2014 about 10:14 am Pacific Standard Time

I went to the kidney specialist yesterday, he told me that my kidneys are functioning at about 50% of normal. He also told me, that while I can't restore the lost function, I can slow the lose of function down, which is what I'm going to attempt to do. I have another appointment with this doctor in March and I have to get a blood test at his office in February.

I also have seven other doctor's appointments in February, which makes moving to Searchlight less of an option then it was. The appointments I have cover a four week period with two appointments a week. If I drive to Las Vegas and back to Searchlight that puts me and my car on the road for at least four hours each day. I'm not sure either the car or I could stand the stress. However, I'm getting flack about the apartment I decided to move to in Las Vegas, which increase the stress over moving.

All I want to do is move into the apartment and get my everything situated so that I have less stress. I'm beginning to doubt that here will ever be less stress in my life. Until recently, I thought I was a competent adult and capable of making my own decisions, but I'm beginning to wonder about that; especially with all the flack I'm getting.

I'm almost tempted to find an assisted living place where I have someone to watch over me at all times. At least, then I wouldn't be getting all this flack and no one would have to worry about me. All right, that's not a good idea, but I'm tempted. I'd be a lot less stressed if I wasn't getting as much flack. At this point, I think the best thing to do is stick by my decisions despite. All I need to do is stand up for myself and make my views clear to everyone giving me flack.