Jalál (Glory), 11 Asmá’ (Names), 171 BE - Saturday, August 30, 2014 about 10:27 am Pacific Daylight Time
I used to be one of those people who purchased only national or name brand toilet paper and paper towels. If I had coupons I would use coupons, but I would always buy a name brand, but not any more. For the second time in two or three months, I downloaded e-coupons to my shopper's card for both paper towels and toilet paper. When I got to the supermarket and looked at the prices, I decided it was cheaper to purchase the store brand without a coupon then it was to purchase the name brand with a coupon.
I purchased a package containing three rolls of paper towels, a 4-roll package of toilet paper, and one box of facial tissue for less then $4.00 without coupons. I am no longer going to download coupons to my shopper's card for either paper towels or toilet paper because I will not use them. I will get to the store, look at the prices, and decide to purchase the store brand instead of the national brand.
I might use paper coupons for these items, but only if I think the savings is worth the hassle of clipping the coupons, carrying them to the store, and comparing the prices. Otherwise I will continue to purchase the store or some other generic brand of paper towels and toilet paper. Why spend a lot of money for something you are just going to flesh down the drain or throw in the dumpster?
Saturday, August 30, 2014
Thursday, August 28, 2014
Thankful Thursday: The Last Thankful Thursday in August 2014
Istijlál (Majesty), 9 Asmá’ (Names), 171 BE - Thursday, August 28, 2014 about 5:39 am Pacific Daylight Time
On the last Thankful Thursday in August 2014, I am thankful...
01. ...for spellcheckers because this morning my fingers don't want to spell the words properly. They keep missing letters in the middle of the word.
02. ...that on Wednesday, August 27, I went to the full service gas station after I stopped at the bank instead of going to the grocery store before getting gas. After the attendant put gas in my car, he checked the tires and the one on the front passenger side was flat. The gas station attendant put air in the tire, then I went to American Discount Tires (where I purchased my tires) to have them see what caused the problem and got the tire fixed.
03. ...for the rooster that crows every morning at first light because hearing him greet the new day is inspiring.
04. ...that I had a $2.00 off coupon for a box of Depends© that I could use when I went to Smiths Food & Drug store yesterday.
05. ...for the blessing of living in an apartment with thin walls. I can hear the neighbors music, their dog bark when it gets upset, and smell the food they are cooking, It is inspiring to live in such a close neighborhood.
06. ...that I have a push cart with wheels so that I can bring my groceries in from my car. I can also use the cart for taking laundry to the car and boxes to the dumpsters in the alley.
07. ...for Folger© black silk coffee the smoothest and best tasting coffee I have ever consumed.
08. ...that I can sit at my computer each morning and look out my front door. It is inspiring to watch the sky turn from silken black to pale blue and then to sapphire.
09. ...for the Brita© pitcher because I do not have to purchase bottled water to either drink or use to make coffee at home.
10. ...that I had a $1.50 off coupon for a Brita© filter for my pitcher. I purchased the new filter and will put it in the pitcher on September 1.
On the last Thankful Thursday in August 2014, I am thankful...
01. ...for spellcheckers because this morning my fingers don't want to spell the words properly. They keep missing letters in the middle of the word.
02. ...that on Wednesday, August 27, I went to the full service gas station after I stopped at the bank instead of going to the grocery store before getting gas. After the attendant put gas in my car, he checked the tires and the one on the front passenger side was flat. The gas station attendant put air in the tire, then I went to American Discount Tires (where I purchased my tires) to have them see what caused the problem and got the tire fixed.
03. ...for the rooster that crows every morning at first light because hearing him greet the new day is inspiring.
04. ...that I had a $2.00 off coupon for a box of Depends© that I could use when I went to Smiths Food & Drug store yesterday.
05. ...for the blessing of living in an apartment with thin walls. I can hear the neighbors music, their dog bark when it gets upset, and smell the food they are cooking, It is inspiring to live in such a close neighborhood.
06. ...that I have a push cart with wheels so that I can bring my groceries in from my car. I can also use the cart for taking laundry to the car and boxes to the dumpsters in the alley.
07. ...for Folger© black silk coffee the smoothest and best tasting coffee I have ever consumed.
08. ...that I can sit at my computer each morning and look out my front door. It is inspiring to watch the sky turn from silken black to pale blue and then to sapphire.
09. ...for the Brita© pitcher because I do not have to purchase bottled water to either drink or use to make coffee at home.
10. ...that I had a $1.50 off coupon for a Brita© filter for my pitcher. I purchased the new filter and will put it in the pitcher on September 1.
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
It's Time for a Nap
Fiḍál (Grace), 7 Asmá’ (Names), 171 BE - Tuesday, August 26, 2014 about 12:29 pm Pacific Daylight Time
It is time. I have fought against it for so long and I cannot fight it any more. I have to take a nap. I have no choice I am yawning. My eyes are closing and I am I am attempting to write in my sleep. I can write in my sleep, but the sentences sound weird and do not make sense. I just wrote the following sentence.
It is time. I have fought against it for so long and I cannot fight it any more. I have to take a nap. I have no choice I am yawning. My eyes are closing and I am I am attempting to write in my sleep. I can write in my sleep, but the sentences sound weird and do not make sense. I just wrote the following sentence.
My eyes are closing and I cannot find a person...
I do not know what I meant by I cannot find a person. What person did I mean? I do not know because I dozed off right before I wrote it and then woke up to find that weird sentence. I do not know if I will be able to sleep when I sit down on the love seat. Sometime I get so sleepy at the keyboard that I have to get off the computer, but then when I start to take a nap I cannot doze off.
I will attempt to nap, but if I find I cannot sleep then I will either get back on the computer or do some more work in the kitchen. I still have some items to find room for in the cupboards. I am also waiting for FedEx© to pick up a package, so I guess I better open the door slightly so I can hear the delivery person when the truck arrives.
Monday, August 25, 2014
Meditation Monday: Prayer, Meditation, Forgiveness
Kamál (Perfection), 6 Asmá’ (Names), 171 BE - Monday, August 25, 2014 about 6:26 am Pacific Daylight Time
I deepen my experience of God through prayer, meditation, and forgiveness.
Marianne Williamson
I discovered that beautiful quote on the Psychology Today website in an article by Stephanie Sarkis, Ph.D. titled Here, There, and Everywhere, which was published on June 8, 2012.
That quote inspired me to write the following poem.
I empty my mind,
I intone God's Most Great Name,
and then read the quote.
Mind and spirit calmed
I feel the words echoing
my spirit's bird song.
I forgive myself,
and I forgive others too:
inhale forgiveness.
I breathe in and out
meditation's exercise:
exhale forgiveness.
I intone God's praise
reciting revealed prayers:
faith's tranquility.
That quote inspired me to write the following poem.
I empty my mind,
I intone God's Most Great Name,
and then read the quote.
Mind and spirit calmed
I feel the words echoing
my spirit's bird song.
I forgive myself,
and I forgive others too:
inhale forgiveness.
I breathe in and out
meditation's exercise:
exhale forgiveness.
I intone God's praise
reciting revealed prayers:
faith's tranquility.
Sunday, August 24, 2014
Supplication Sunday: Prayer for Dealing Childhood Memories of Buillying
Jamál (Beauty), 5 Asmá’ (Names), 171 BE - Sunday, August 24, 2014 about 6:39 am Pacific Daylight Time
Dear Lord,
Please help me
deal with the childhood memories
of being bullied
because I wore glasses.
Please help me
spread the message that,
even at 67,
the hurt remains
a thick jagged line
of fibrous tissue
across my soul.
Amen.
Dear Lord,
Please help me
deal with the childhood memories
of being bullied
because I wore glasses.
Please help me
spread the message that,
even at 67,
the hurt remains
a thick jagged line
of fibrous tissue
across my soul.
Amen.
Friday, August 22, 2014
Writing it Out on Friday
Istiqlál (Independence), 3 Asmá’ (Names), 171 BE - Friday, August 22, 2014 about 3:01 pm Pacific Daylight Time
It's Friday afternoon, I'm depressed and I want to cry. I want to sit down on my love seat and cry until the depression goes away, but I know that crying won't help. Crying will only make the depression worse, so instead of crying I'm going to write. After I finish writing, I'll put the dishes I just wash away and then was the electric fry pan.
Writing helps alleviate the depression. At least it does when I spell the words properly and don't have to click the spell check every five seconds to find the proper spelling. Writing makes me happy. I always smile when I write, even if what I'm writing is nonsense or ranting. I know I can't write all the time because I have housework to do. I also have to find a way to increase my income, but sometime the surveys make me depressed because I think I could be using my time better.
Writing out the depression
one sentence at a time
this butterfly comes out of her cocoon
while overcoming the depression.
That's a good start to a poem. I have to write an acrostic poem. I have to write a mirror acrostic poem because that is the one type of acrostic poem I have not been able to master. I suppose once I've master it someone will come up with a new type of acrostic. I'll deal with that possibility when the time comes. Depression might be a good theme for an acrostic poem.
It's Friday afternoon, I'm depressed and I want to cry. I want to sit down on my love seat and cry until the depression goes away, but I know that crying won't help. Crying will only make the depression worse, so instead of crying I'm going to write. After I finish writing, I'll put the dishes I just wash away and then was the electric fry pan.
Writing helps alleviate the depression. At least it does when I spell the words properly and don't have to click the spell check every five seconds to find the proper spelling. Writing makes me happy. I always smile when I write, even if what I'm writing is nonsense or ranting. I know I can't write all the time because I have housework to do. I also have to find a way to increase my income, but sometime the surveys make me depressed because I think I could be using my time better.
Writing out the depression
one sentence at a time
this butterfly comes out of her cocoon
while overcoming the depression.
That's a good start to a poem. I have to write an acrostic poem. I have to write a mirror acrostic poem because that is the one type of acrostic poem I have not been able to master. I suppose once I've master it someone will come up with a new type of acrostic. I'll deal with that possibility when the time comes. Depression might be a good theme for an acrostic poem.
Thursday, August 21, 2014
Thankful Thursday: August 21, 2014
Istijlál (Majesty), 2 Asmá’ (Names), 171 BE - Thursday, August 21, 2014 about 12:48 pm Pacific Daylight Time
Today I am thankful...
01. ...that I was able to transfer money from my Opinions Outpost account to my PayPal account and then to my checking account.
02, ...for the coffee maker I used to make coffee every morning because fresh brewed coffee tastes better then instant coffee.
03. ...that I heard a sparrow sing this morning when I opened my front door. I love living in a neighborhood where I can hear the birds singing in the pine, oak, or palm trees.
04. ...for peanut butter sandwiches on white bread because it brings back memories of my childhood and my Grandmother Mary's peanut butter sandwiches.
05. ...that I was able to accept two video ads for Poet 999's Thoughts about Writing and Other Stuff. I accepted on ad yesterday and another today.
06. ...for the partly cloudy sky I see when I look out my window. The white clouds move slowly across the blue sky sometimes hiding the sun.
07. ...that I found my copy of The Book of Forms: A Handbook of Poetics by Lewis Turco because I have a poem to write for a monthly contest on writing.com. This month I am going to attempt a form poem instead of free verse and I need to chose the form I am going to use.
08. ...for the book Remembrance of God: A Selection of Baha'i Prayers and Holy Writing which I placed next to my computer keyboard. If I have trouble thinking of something to write I can say a prayer and I will find a theme or subject.
09. ...that today is Thankful Thursday because I needed to find something to be Thankful for this week. Writing a Thankful Thursday gratitude list is always encouraging and inspiring.
10. ...for writing.com and a place to keep some of my creative works.
Today I am thankful...
01. ...that I was able to transfer money from my Opinions Outpost account to my PayPal account and then to my checking account.
02, ...for the coffee maker I used to make coffee every morning because fresh brewed coffee tastes better then instant coffee.
03. ...that I heard a sparrow sing this morning when I opened my front door. I love living in a neighborhood where I can hear the birds singing in the pine, oak, or palm trees.
04. ...for peanut butter sandwiches on white bread because it brings back memories of my childhood and my Grandmother Mary's peanut butter sandwiches.
05. ...that I was able to accept two video ads for Poet 999's Thoughts about Writing and Other Stuff. I accepted on ad yesterday and another today.
06. ...for the partly cloudy sky I see when I look out my window. The white clouds move slowly across the blue sky sometimes hiding the sun.
07. ...that I found my copy of The Book of Forms: A Handbook of Poetics by Lewis Turco because I have a poem to write for a monthly contest on writing.com. This month I am going to attempt a form poem instead of free verse and I need to chose the form I am going to use.
08. ...for the book Remembrance of God: A Selection of Baha'i Prayers and Holy Writing which I placed next to my computer keyboard. If I have trouble thinking of something to write I can say a prayer and I will find a theme or subject.
09. ...that today is Thankful Thursday because I needed to find something to be Thankful for this week. Writing a Thankful Thursday gratitude list is always encouraging and inspiring.
10. ...for writing.com and a place to keep some of my creative works.
Tuesday, August 19, 2014
Tribulation Tuesday: Tuesday Afternoon Depression
Fiḍál (Grace), 19 Kamál (Perfection), 171 BE - Tuesday, August 19, 2014 about 3:17 pm Pacific Daylight Time
It's a depressing Tuesday afternoon. I think I should say it's Tuesday afternoon and I'm depressed. I don't know why I'm depressed so I'm going to focus on writing instead of the depression. Writing usually helps me overcome the desire to cry on my keyboard, which would short out the keyboard. Since I'm depress I will ramble instead of focusing on one subject.
It's Tuesday afternoon, I'm depressed. Depression is part of the tribulation I deal with on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis. The time period of my depression depends on a number of things and sometimes I don't know what triggers the depression. At other times I suspect the depression is caused by my negative thoughts or whatever I ate for lunch or dinner. Composing this blog entry helps alleviate the depression because it refocuses my thought.
There was a time when I wasn't as open about the depression as today. I don't think hiding the problems helps. I think hiding the problem just makes the depression worse because if I hide it, if I don't admit it exists, I can't ask for help. If I hide it I can't go to my friends and say "I'm depressed! Can we talk about it?" I think this entry has come to an end because I'm not depressed any more. Writing about it has helped. Writing about it always helps.
It's a depressing Tuesday afternoon. I think I should say it's Tuesday afternoon and I'm depressed. I don't know why I'm depressed so I'm going to focus on writing instead of the depression. Writing usually helps me overcome the desire to cry on my keyboard, which would short out the keyboard. Since I'm depress I will ramble instead of focusing on one subject.
It's Tuesday afternoon, I'm depressed. Depression is part of the tribulation I deal with on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis. The time period of my depression depends on a number of things and sometimes I don't know what triggers the depression. At other times I suspect the depression is caused by my negative thoughts or whatever I ate for lunch or dinner. Composing this blog entry helps alleviate the depression because it refocuses my thought.
There was a time when I wasn't as open about the depression as today. I don't think hiding the problems helps. I think hiding the problem just makes the depression worse because if I hide it, if I don't admit it exists, I can't ask for help. If I hide it I can't go to my friends and say "I'm depressed! Can we talk about it?" I think this entry has come to an end because I'm not depressed any more. Writing about it has helped. Writing about it always helps.
Monday, August 18, 2014
Meditation Monday: Trust in God
Kamál (Perfection), 18 Kamál (Perfection), 171 BE - Monday, August 18, 2014 about 8:35 am Pacific Daylight Time
Patience, sometimes I have it and sometimes I don't, I have found is something that is necessary when I place my problems in God's hands. I used to think I was patient, but lately I do not see that virtue in myself especially when I do not have control of a situation. While I may not have control of a situation, I know that God does.
Today
I place my impatience
and all of my problems
in God's hands.
My impatience is a test I have to face. It is a vice I have to replace with the virtue of patience. I have found that tests and difficulties are made worse by impatience. Impatience is looking too closely at the problem without raising my eyes to look beyond my present condition. If I look beyond the test I am facing, I will find the solution by looking outside myself. When I place a problem in God's hands then I am looking beyond my helplessness and relying on strength that is outside my own weaknesses.
I take a deep breath,
I place the problem in God's hands,
I take whatever action I can
knowing that the situation
will turn out according to God's plan.
"Be patient under all conditions, and put your whole trust and confidence in God."
Baha'u'llah, Remembrance of God, page 1
Patience, sometimes I have it and sometimes I don't, I have found is something that is necessary when I place my problems in God's hands. I used to think I was patient, but lately I do not see that virtue in myself especially when I do not have control of a situation. While I may not have control of a situation, I know that God does.
Today
I place my impatience
and all of my problems
in God's hands.
My impatience is a test I have to face. It is a vice I have to replace with the virtue of patience. I have found that tests and difficulties are made worse by impatience. Impatience is looking too closely at the problem without raising my eyes to look beyond my present condition. If I look beyond the test I am facing, I will find the solution by looking outside myself. When I place a problem in God's hands then I am looking beyond my helplessness and relying on strength that is outside my own weaknesses.
I take a deep breath,
I place the problem in God's hands,
I take whatever action I can
knowing that the situation
will turn out according to God's plan.
Saturday, August 16, 2014
Saturday Review: An Interesting Week
Jalál (Glory), 16 Kamál (Perfection), 171 BE - Saturday, August 16, 2014 about 6:45 pm Pacific Daylight Time
At the end of an interesting week, I contemplate my accomplishments. I have not accomplished as much as I wanted to, but that is normal. I did get some things accomplished and I am going to get more accomplished this week end. On Friday I went to Smith's Food & Drug store to purchase some food. I specifically went to purchase eggs and fully cooked turkey breakfast sausages. I also purchased a package of frozen turkey burgers, which are quite tasty when you put hot pepper sauce on them.
At the end of an interesting week, I am attempting to think of ways to eat dry cereal. I think I will try something creative with the cereal on Sunday. Fix me an egg, a sausage, and a bowl of cereal with applesauce instead of milk. I do not care much for milk on cereal anymore. Maybe I will try coffee on my cereal instead of applesauce or milk and see how that tastes.
At the end of an interesting week I am looking for creative ways to eat cereal. I do not care to eat cereal for breakfast, but I do like cereal. Perhaps I will use it as a snack tomorrow instead of having crackers and cheese. I quit eating sugar on my cereal years ago and I am now on the way to cutting out milk on my cereal. My mother ate dry cereal without milk or anything on it for breakfast, but I have not tried that yet. Perhaps tomorrow with my sausage and eggs.
At the end of an interesting week, I contemplate my accomplishments. I have not accomplished as much as I wanted to, but that is normal. I did get some things accomplished and I am going to get more accomplished this week end. On Friday I went to Smith's Food & Drug store to purchase some food. I specifically went to purchase eggs and fully cooked turkey breakfast sausages. I also purchased a package of frozen turkey burgers, which are quite tasty when you put hot pepper sauce on them.
At the end of an interesting week, I am attempting to think of ways to eat dry cereal. I think I will try something creative with the cereal on Sunday. Fix me an egg, a sausage, and a bowl of cereal with applesauce instead of milk. I do not care much for milk on cereal anymore. Maybe I will try coffee on my cereal instead of applesauce or milk and see how that tastes.
At the end of an interesting week I am looking for creative ways to eat cereal. I do not care to eat cereal for breakfast, but I do like cereal. Perhaps I will use it as a snack tomorrow instead of having crackers and cheese. I quit eating sugar on my cereal years ago and I am now on the way to cutting out milk on my cereal. My mother ate dry cereal without milk or anything on it for breakfast, but I have not tried that yet. Perhaps tomorrow with my sausage and eggs.
Thursday, August 14, 2014
Thankful Thursday: What do I have to give thanks for?
Istijlál (Majesty), 14 Kamál (Perfection), 171 BE - Thursday, August 14, 2014 about 3:27 pm Pacific Daylight Time
It is August 14, 2014. It is the second Thankful Thursday in August, with two more to go. It is one of those days when I wonder what I have to be thankful for. I have been going in and out of depression for a few days now, so it is important for me to find something to give thanks for. Since it is Thankful Thursday, I need to find ten things to put on my gratitude list.
On Thursday, August 14, 2014, I am Thankful...
01. ...for Tabasco© Sauce my favorite brand of hot pepper sauce.
02, ...that Tabasco© Sauce comes in several different flavors because I am a creative cook who likes to experiment with different flavors of hop pepper sauce.
03. ...for frozen pieces of chicken I purchase in the store because I do not have to deal with preparing whole chicken when I cook.
04. ...that it rained last weekend because the rain made me smile, which helped to alive my depression.
05. ...for the bottle vinegar I had on the shelf because I was able to clean my coffeemaker out before I made tea this afternoon.
06. ...that I have several bags of English black tea in a canister because that is my favorite flavor to use for hot and iced tea with.
07. ...for the cans of apple sauce I get with my Senior Commodities allotment because I can eat apple sauce for desert when I do not have anything else in the house.
08. ...that I still have some catfish in the freezer because I can thaw one out for my breakfast tomorrow.
09. ...for the warm beauty of an August afternoon.
10. ...that my cellphone has a calculator.
It is August 14, 2014. It is the second Thankful Thursday in August, with two more to go. It is one of those days when I wonder what I have to be thankful for. I have been going in and out of depression for a few days now, so it is important for me to find something to give thanks for. Since it is Thankful Thursday, I need to find ten things to put on my gratitude list.
On Thursday, August 14, 2014, I am Thankful...
01. ...for Tabasco© Sauce my favorite brand of hot pepper sauce.
02, ...that Tabasco© Sauce comes in several different flavors because I am a creative cook who likes to experiment with different flavors of hop pepper sauce.
03. ...for frozen pieces of chicken I purchase in the store because I do not have to deal with preparing whole chicken when I cook.
04. ...that it rained last weekend because the rain made me smile, which helped to alive my depression.
05. ...for the bottle vinegar I had on the shelf because I was able to clean my coffeemaker out before I made tea this afternoon.
06. ...that I have several bags of English black tea in a canister because that is my favorite flavor to use for hot and iced tea with.
07. ...for the cans of apple sauce I get with my Senior Commodities allotment because I can eat apple sauce for desert when I do not have anything else in the house.
08. ...that I still have some catfish in the freezer because I can thaw one out for my breakfast tomorrow.
09. ...for the warm beauty of an August afternoon.
10. ...that my cellphone has a calculator.
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
Midweek Reflections: Keeping Depression at Bay
‘Idál (Justice), 13 Kamál (Perfection), 171 BE - Wednesday, August 13, 2014 about 6:56 pm Pacific Daylight Time
It's Wednesday afternoon and I'm depressed. I'm not sure why I'm depressed, but one reason may be that I haven't been making any entries in my Pen & Paper Journal. I haven't made an entry in that journal in a couple of months, so today I started a an entry. I haven't finished it yet because I wrote half a paragraph and fell asleep before I finished it. I'll finish that entry this evening.
The weird thing is that this morning I felt find. No depression even though it was cloudy and looked rainy. I was find until this afternoon and the depression hit me like a bolt of lightning. I wanted to cry, I'm past the tears stage now. As long as I write, the depression doesn't bother me and appears to go away entirely. It doesn't bother me as long as I write; however, I can't write all the time because I have housework and laundry to do. I'm considering going to the laundromat on Friday morning before I go to the grocery store for some food stuff and other supplies.
I may not go to the grocery store until Saturday. I haven't been out of the house all week, so that could be one reason I'm depressed. The only thing I've did outside the house is take the trash to the alley and then walk back to the apartment. I usually try to take the trash early in the morning, but maybe I need to do it closer to noon so that I can get more sunshine.
I'll finish the letter to Baha'u'llah I started in my Pen & Paper Journal, maybe that will reveal why I'm depressed. Not that I would write the reason for my depression in a blog entry. Writing why I'm depressed is too personal right now and I can't get up the courage to write about it online, which is the reason I keep a Pen & Paper Journal. I think this is the most I've ever written about my depression online. I might try this again later in the week.
It's Wednesday afternoon and I'm depressed. I'm not sure why I'm depressed, but one reason may be that I haven't been making any entries in my Pen & Paper Journal. I haven't made an entry in that journal in a couple of months, so today I started a an entry. I haven't finished it yet because I wrote half a paragraph and fell asleep before I finished it. I'll finish that entry this evening.
The weird thing is that this morning I felt find. No depression even though it was cloudy and looked rainy. I was find until this afternoon and the depression hit me like a bolt of lightning. I wanted to cry, I'm past the tears stage now. As long as I write, the depression doesn't bother me and appears to go away entirely. It doesn't bother me as long as I write; however, I can't write all the time because I have housework and laundry to do. I'm considering going to the laundromat on Friday morning before I go to the grocery store for some food stuff and other supplies.
I may not go to the grocery store until Saturday. I haven't been out of the house all week, so that could be one reason I'm depressed. The only thing I've did outside the house is take the trash to the alley and then walk back to the apartment. I usually try to take the trash early in the morning, but maybe I need to do it closer to noon so that I can get more sunshine.
I'll finish the letter to Baha'u'llah I started in my Pen & Paper Journal, maybe that will reveal why I'm depressed. Not that I would write the reason for my depression in a blog entry. Writing why I'm depressed is too personal right now and I can't get up the courage to write about it online, which is the reason I keep a Pen & Paper Journal. I think this is the most I've ever written about my depression online. I might try this again later in the week.
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
Tribulation Tuesday: The way I deal with tribulation
Fiḍál (Grace), 12 Kamál (Perfection), 171 BE - Tuesday, August 12, 2014 about 11:13 am Pacific Daylight Time
He who puts his trust in God, God will suffice him,
He who fears God, God will send him relief,
Baha'u'llah
Tribulations,
tests, and difficulties
build muscles on the soul.
My way of dealing with tests, difficulties, and tribulations is to write, pray, and turn to Baha'u'llah. I do not know any other way to deal with the difficulties of life except through prayer, placing everything in God's hands, talking or writing letters to Baha'u'llah, and writing blog entries, stories, or poem. If I could not do these things then I am not sure how I would deal with the changes and chances of daily life.
Prayer
reciting or reading
the revealed words of Baha'u'llah.
I remember that before I became a Baha'i I was always looking for the right words to use when I prayed, but now all I have to do is open my prayerbook to find the right prayer. When I pray I used the prayer from my prayerbook. Sometime I write a letter to Baha'u'llah in my pen and paper journal because that helps me focus on the issues at hand. Sometimes I address Baha'u'llah in my thoughts and this helps as well. I also write poems about what is happening to me or how I feel. The poem help me deal with tribulations and difficulties as well.
Poems
need just the right words
to express faith.
Monday, August 11, 2014
Meditation Monday: An Afternoon Nap
Kamál (Perfection), 11 Kamál (Perfection), 171 BE - Monday, August 11, 2014 about 5:00 pm Pacific Daylight Time
Sleep is the best meditation.
Dalai Lama
I just woke from an afternoon nap refreshed and contented. I know I'm contented because I feel a smile on my lips. I know I'm refreshed because my mind feels tranquil and my body invigorated. I'm listening to the neighbor's music as I write this and it's refreshing background music for my muse.
An afternoon nap
taking less then one hour
a beautiful day.
I still have a lot to do, but I will get what I can get done today and not worry about the rest. That's how I feel right now. That's how I always feel after I wake up from my afternoon meditation. If I want to meditate without going to sleep then I have to focus on something that keeps me away. I don't always know what that is because if I focus on counting my breath then sometimes I go t o sleep.
An afternoon nap
splendid way to meditate
wake happy refreshed.
My intuition works better when I meditate, pray, and nap, but until I read the quote by the Dalai Lama I didn't think of a nap as meditation. I resisted taking a nap because I thought I didn't have time even though I had time to meditate. Now that I know sleep is good meditation I can take a nap without worrying because I'm sleeping and meditating at the same time.
Saturday, August 09, 2014
Serenity Saturday: Meditation Upon Change
Jalál (Glory), 9 Kamál (Perfection), 171 BE - Saturday, August 9, 2014 about 5:58 pm Pacific Daylight Time
I find that stress and change go hand-in-hand because I want to resist the change instead of accepting it. Change, growth, evolution, transformation, whatever you want to call it is a part of life. It cannot be avoided nor can my resistance to it stop the process. The only thing that resistance does is create stress, sorrow, and fear. In my case, it sometimes causes panic attacks.
Spontaneous change
comes from studying God's word
meditation and prayer.
This afternoon, I am feeling serene, peaceful, and happy. That was not the case yesterday or this morning. I was tense and fearful, but I did not know why. I said some prayers and intoned God's Most Great name, which calmed me down and cause me to refocus away from the stress and the fear. I still do not know why I was afraid, however, I suspect I was building up to a panic attack.
Natural changes
evolutions of the soul
meditation and prayer.
I have felt tense ever since I moved into this studio apartment. I know that it is a big change from a three bedroom and two bath house. I have one bathroom, one closet, and a small living area composed of a kitchen and living room combined. It is crowded because I have not went through everything I brought with me. I have not went through it because I do not want to make decisions on what I have to get rid of and what I have to keep.
Writing the problem
accepting spontaneous
and natural changes.
I feel as if I can now get on with my life and make the necessary changes in my crowded living area. The less crowded my space the more serene my life will become. Serenity encourages peace and discourages panic attacks. Serenity encourages a positive attitude which helps me make decisions.
“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them;
that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow
naturally forward in whatever way they like.”
Lao Tzu
I find that stress and change go hand-in-hand because I want to resist the change instead of accepting it. Change, growth, evolution, transformation, whatever you want to call it is a part of life. It cannot be avoided nor can my resistance to it stop the process. The only thing that resistance does is create stress, sorrow, and fear. In my case, it sometimes causes panic attacks.
Spontaneous change
comes from studying God's word
meditation and prayer.
This afternoon, I am feeling serene, peaceful, and happy. That was not the case yesterday or this morning. I was tense and fearful, but I did not know why. I said some prayers and intoned God's Most Great name, which calmed me down and cause me to refocus away from the stress and the fear. I still do not know why I was afraid, however, I suspect I was building up to a panic attack.
Natural changes
evolutions of the soul
meditation and prayer.
I have felt tense ever since I moved into this studio apartment. I know that it is a big change from a three bedroom and two bath house. I have one bathroom, one closet, and a small living area composed of a kitchen and living room combined. It is crowded because I have not went through everything I brought with me. I have not went through it because I do not want to make decisions on what I have to get rid of and what I have to keep.
Writing the problem
accepting spontaneous
and natural changes.
I feel as if I can now get on with my life and make the necessary changes in my crowded living area. The less crowded my space the more serene my life will become. Serenity encourages peace and discourages panic attacks. Serenity encourages a positive attitude which helps me make decisions.
Thursday, August 07, 2014
Thankful Thursday: My Gratitude List on the First Thankful Thursday in August 2014
Istijlál (Majesty), 7 Kamál (Perfection), 171 BE - Thursday, August 7, 2014 about 6:43 am Pacific Daylight Time
Today I am thankful...
01. ...that I have two large plastic covered coffee mugs because I can put iced coffee in one and ice water in the other. I can then sit them on the wooden television stand that is placed next to my computer.
02. ...for the cool morning temperatures that allows me to have my front door open while I am working at the computer this morning. I can look out my front door and watch the morning shadow lengthen as the sun rises above Sunrise Mountain.
03. ...that I had some coffee left over from yesterday because I did not have to wait for coffee to brew before I fixed my first container of iced coffee.
04. ...for the weird noises I hear in this neighborhood before the sun comes up. I know they are only weird because I could not see what was making them, but they encourage my muse and make me think of ideas for poems and stories.
05. ...that I can hear a young bird chirping in one of the pine, oak, or palm trees growing in this neighborhood.
06. ...for the rain we received over the weekend. Listening to the rain and the thunder was a pleasant and cooling experience.
07. ...that is it monsoon season in Las Vegas, which means we can expect some more cooling rain and thunder storms before the end of August.
08. ...for the two containers of milk I got with my senior commodities allotment yesterday. I can now have some Ovaltine© in regular milk instead of making dry milk to drink with the Ovaltine©.
09. ...that I have cheese in the refrigerator because I can make a grilled cheese sandwich with English muffins today.
10. ...for the dry cereal I have because I can open a can of apples sauce to dump over my cereal. I do not care much for cereal and milk anymore.
Today I am thankful...
01. ...that I have two large plastic covered coffee mugs because I can put iced coffee in one and ice water in the other. I can then sit them on the wooden television stand that is placed next to my computer.
02. ...for the cool morning temperatures that allows me to have my front door open while I am working at the computer this morning. I can look out my front door and watch the morning shadow lengthen as the sun rises above Sunrise Mountain.
03. ...that I had some coffee left over from yesterday because I did not have to wait for coffee to brew before I fixed my first container of iced coffee.
04. ...for the weird noises I hear in this neighborhood before the sun comes up. I know they are only weird because I could not see what was making them, but they encourage my muse and make me think of ideas for poems and stories.
05. ...that I can hear a young bird chirping in one of the pine, oak, or palm trees growing in this neighborhood.
06. ...for the rain we received over the weekend. Listening to the rain and the thunder was a pleasant and cooling experience.
07. ...that is it monsoon season in Las Vegas, which means we can expect some more cooling rain and thunder storms before the end of August.
08. ...for the two containers of milk I got with my senior commodities allotment yesterday. I can now have some Ovaltine© in regular milk instead of making dry milk to drink with the Ovaltine©.
09. ...that I have cheese in the refrigerator because I can make a grilled cheese sandwich with English muffins today.
10. ...for the dry cereal I have because I can open a can of apples sauce to dump over my cereal. I do not care much for cereal and milk anymore.
Wednesday, August 06, 2014
Midweek Reflections: A weary Wednesday evening
It's Wednesday, August 6, 2014, somewhere around 8:04 Pacific Daylight Time. I'm tired. I don't want to think anymore today. I don't want to write anymore today, if I have to think about what I'm writing. I can write if I don't have to think.
It's a weary Wednesday evening
I don't want to sleep,
I don't want to play games,
I don't want to do much of anything.
I still have to put the laundry back in the laundry-grocery cart because I picked up my senior commodities allotment for August. I used the cart to roll the two bags of food into the house because they were too heavy for me to carry in. It was a good thing I had the cart because the handles on one of the bags broke when I took it out of the cart. If I had carried the bags into the house, I would have had food all over the court yard and a broken container of milk.
It's a weary Wednesday evening
I don't want to sleep,
I don't want to play games,
I don't want to do much of anything.
I still have to put the laundry back in the laundry-grocery cart because I picked up my senior commodities allotment for August. I used the cart to roll the two bags of food into the house because they were too heavy for me to carry in. It was a good thing I had the cart because the handles on one of the bags broke when I took it out of the cart. If I had carried the bags into the house, I would have had food all over the court yard and a broken container of milk.
Tuesday, August 05, 2014
Tribulation Tuesday: Reconsidering Breakfast
Fiḍál (Grace), 5 Kamál (Perfection), 171 BE - Tuesday, August 5, 2014 about 11:03 am Pacific Daylight Time
This morning, I got up about 4:30 am, took my thyroid medication, said a prayer, responded to some blog prompts on writing.com, and did a couple of reviews. It was a nice cool morning, so I had the door open while I was doing all this. After I finished writing and reviewing, I got off line and fixed me breakfast. By the time I finish breakfast it had warmed up so I closed the door and turned on the air conditioner.
After breakfast I got online again because I have a couple writing projects to finish on writing.com. I am so tired that even my arms are tired. I am not sure what is causing the problem, but it is possible the breakfast I at caused the issue. This is not the first time I have encountered this issue, so I think it must be something I am eating for breakfast, but I do not know what.
I think I will change my breakfast menu from hot cakes and jelly or English muffins and cream cheese to fruit or chicken. I do not seem to have this problem when I eat fruit and chicken for breakfast. Tomorrow I have an appointment at 9:30 am so I'll fix a piece of chicken or fish tonight so that I have something quick to fix for breakfast in the morning.
I am so tired that I can hardly keep my eyes open and I have a lot more work to do before going to bed tonight. However, since I am so sleepy I will post this and then get off line for a short nap. I do not want to sleep very long, maybe five or ten minutes because, as I wrote, I have a lot of work to complete today.
This morning, I got up about 4:30 am, took my thyroid medication, said a prayer, responded to some blog prompts on writing.com, and did a couple of reviews. It was a nice cool morning, so I had the door open while I was doing all this. After I finished writing and reviewing, I got off line and fixed me breakfast. By the time I finish breakfast it had warmed up so I closed the door and turned on the air conditioner.
After breakfast I got online again because I have a couple writing projects to finish on writing.com. I am so tired that even my arms are tired. I am not sure what is causing the problem, but it is possible the breakfast I at caused the issue. This is not the first time I have encountered this issue, so I think it must be something I am eating for breakfast, but I do not know what.
I think I will change my breakfast menu from hot cakes and jelly or English muffins and cream cheese to fruit or chicken. I do not seem to have this problem when I eat fruit and chicken for breakfast. Tomorrow I have an appointment at 9:30 am so I'll fix a piece of chicken or fish tonight so that I have something quick to fix for breakfast in the morning.
I am so tired that I can hardly keep my eyes open and I have a lot more work to do before going to bed tonight. However, since I am so sleepy I will post this and then get off line for a short nap. I do not want to sleep very long, maybe five or ten minutes because, as I wrote, I have a lot of work to complete today.
Monday, August 04, 2014
Meditation Monday: The Rain
Kamál (Perfection), 4 Kamál (Perfection), 171 BE - Monday, August 4, 2014 3:24 pm Pacific Daylight Time
Beautiful raindrops
descend from dark angry clouds
melting desert sand.
As I look out my front door on this rainy Monday, I see light as the sun attempts to break through the charcoal gray clouds. I watch people walk past my door; they are dressed as if they think the rain has stopped for the day. I suspect we will get a few more raindrops before sunset.
Beautiful raindrops
carried to earth by angels
blessing the desert.
The dark gray cloud appear to be angry, but that is an illusion. We associate darkness with human anger, so when it is cloudy we think the charcoal clouds indicate anger. We are putting our human emotion into the clouds when neither the clouds nor nature is angry. Rain is a natural phenomenon, it is a gift from nature to the desert.
Beautiful raindrops
some call them the tears of God
baptizing the Earth.
In the desert rain causes flash flooding, dangerous to anyone stranded in low areas or walking down dry riverbeds. Flash floods are a natural phenomenon we must beware of and try to avoid. On days like this, I think about the homeless who are living in the drainage tunnels that were constructed to prevent flash floods from devastating part of the city. The homeless living in those tunnels are endanger during rainy weather because of the possibility of flash floods.
Beautiful raindrops
both a blessing and a curse
to desert cities.
Beautiful raindrops
descend from dark angry clouds
melting desert sand.
As I look out my front door on this rainy Monday, I see light as the sun attempts to break through the charcoal gray clouds. I watch people walk past my door; they are dressed as if they think the rain has stopped for the day. I suspect we will get a few more raindrops before sunset.
Beautiful raindrops
carried to earth by angels
blessing the desert.
The dark gray cloud appear to be angry, but that is an illusion. We associate darkness with human anger, so when it is cloudy we think the charcoal clouds indicate anger. We are putting our human emotion into the clouds when neither the clouds nor nature is angry. Rain is a natural phenomenon, it is a gift from nature to the desert.
Beautiful raindrops
some call them the tears of God
baptizing the Earth.
In the desert rain causes flash flooding, dangerous to anyone stranded in low areas or walking down dry riverbeds. Flash floods are a natural phenomenon we must beware of and try to avoid. On days like this, I think about the homeless who are living in the drainage tunnels that were constructed to prevent flash floods from devastating part of the city. The homeless living in those tunnels are endanger during rainy weather because of the possibility of flash floods.
Beautiful raindrops
both a blessing and a curse
to desert cities.
Sunday, August 03, 2014
Supplication Sunday: On the First of Five Sundays in August
Jamál (Beauty), 3 Kamál (Perfection), 171 BE - Sunday, August 3, 2014 about 7:14 am Pacific Daylight Time
On the first of five Sundays in August,
I give thanks for the rooster I heard crowing this morning,
for the cloudy skies that foretell rain,
for the cool summer temperature
that encourages me
to open my apartment door
so that I can listen
to the mysterious neighborhood noises.
On the first of five Sundays in August,
I praise the beauty
of a cloudy morning in Las Vegas
by writing poetry
and giving thanks to the Lord
for four more summer Sundays.
On the first of five Sundays in August,
I inhale the beauty of dawn
before I whisper
a prayer of thanksgiving and praise
to the Creator of the Universe.
On the first of five Sundays in August,
I give thanks for the rooster I heard crowing this morning,
for the cloudy skies that foretell rain,
for the cool summer temperature
that encourages me
to open my apartment door
so that I can listen
to the mysterious neighborhood noises.
On the first of five Sundays in August,
I praise the beauty
of a cloudy morning in Las Vegas
by writing poetry
and giving thanks to the Lord
for four more summer Sundays.
On the first of five Sundays in August,
I inhale the beauty of dawn
before I whisper
a prayer of thanksgiving and praise
to the Creator of the Universe.
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