Tribulation/Transformation Tuesday: Afternoon Thoughts About...

Fiḍal (Grace), 9 ‘Izzat (Might), 171 BE - Tuesday, September 16, 2014 about 1:10 pm Pacific Daylight Time

If I had composed this entry this morning I would have written about tribulation or depression, but this afternoon my attitude and mood are completely transformed. This change did not come quickly, I had to get offline, fix me something to eat, and say some prayers before my mood changed. I had a peanut butter sandwich for breakfast; however, that did not change my depression.

I fixed a chicken breast with pasta for lunch. When I cooked the chicken breast I put some hot pepper sauce on it and when the chicken was done, I took some pasta with corn, carrots, and celery out of the freezer. I cut up the chicken breast and then added the frozen pasta . After heating that up in the microwave I ate it. When I finished my lunch, I said some prayers and took a short nap.

 I have to fix me something a little more substantial then peanut butter sandwiches and coffee for breakfast on Wednesday morning. I have some of the chicken pasta left which I may keep until morning. Otherwise I will fix a hot cake (I have enough pancake batter mixed in the refrigerator for one hot cake) with a turkey sausage patty and apple or orange juice.It is amazing what a prayer, a nap, and food can do. This afternoon I am smiling and feeling positive.

Tribulation Tuesday: I suppose I should cut down on the coffee

Fiḍal (Grace), 2 ‘Izzat (Might), 171 BE - Tuesday, September 9, 2014 about 5:50 pm Pacific Daylight Time

I suppose I should cut down on the coffee, not it it would help me sleep because how much coffee I drink has very little effect on the way I sleep. I would sleep better if I have a real bed, rather then a love seat, to sleep on. All though, that might not make much difference because when I did have a real bed to sleep in my back hurt so bad that I couldn't sleep.

I would like a bed or at least a recliner to sleep on rather then a love seat. I think the biggest share of my problems would be solved by a good night's sleep. It's been a long time since I have a restful night's sleep. I've tried drinking coffee only in the morning and then switching to tea in the afternoon, but that doesn't seem to help. In fact, I think the tea causes me more sleep problems then the coffee.

I suppose I should cut down on the coffee and drink it only in the morning. I could switch to juice or water in the afternoon. I've been drinking iced coffee most of the summer anyway. If I drink hot coffee it makes me too hot, while cold coffee cools me down. After I finish the coffee I have in my cup, I'll switch to water because I have to get up at 4:00 am on Wednesday morning. I have a class at 8:30 am so I need to have time to take my thyroid medication an hour before I eat. I can take the medication and then get ready for my class.

Tribulation Tuesday: Tuesday Afternoon Depression

Fiḍál (Grace), 19 Kamál (Perfection), 171 BE - Tuesday, August 19, 2014 about 3:17 pm Pacific Daylight Time

It's a depressing Tuesday afternoon. I think I should say it's Tuesday afternoon and I'm depressed. I don't know why I'm depressed so I'm going to focus on writing instead of the depression. Writing usually helps me overcome the desire to cry on my keyboard, which would short out the keyboard. Since I'm depress I will ramble instead of focusing on one subject.

It's Tuesday afternoon, I'm depressed. Depression is part of the tribulation I deal with on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis. The time period of my depression depends on a number of things and sometimes I don't know what triggers the depression. At other times I suspect the depression is caused by my negative thoughts or whatever I ate for lunch or dinner. Composing this blog entry helps alleviate the depression because it refocuses my thought.

There was a time when I wasn't as open about the depression as today. I don't think hiding the problems helps. I think hiding the problem just makes the depression worse because if I hide it, if I don't admit it exists, I can't ask for help. If I hide it I can't go to my friends and say "I'm depressed! Can we talk about it?" I think this entry has come to an end because I'm not depressed any more. Writing about it has helped. Writing about it always helps.

Tribulation Tuesday: The way I deal with tribulation

Fiḍál (Grace), 12 Kamál (Perfection), 171 BE - Tuesday, August 12, 2014 about 11:13 am Pacific Daylight Time

He who puts his trust in God, God will suffice him,

He who fears God, God will send him relief,

Baha'u'llah

Tribulations,

tests, and difficulties

build muscles on the soul.

My way of dealing with tests, difficulties, and tribulations is to write, pray, and turn to Baha'u'llah. I do not know any other way to deal with the difficulties of life except through prayer, placing everything in God's hands, talking or writing letters to Baha'u'llah, and writing blog entries, stories, or poem. If I could not do these things then I am not sure how I would deal with the changes and chances of daily life.

Prayer

reciting or reading

the revealed words of Baha'u'llah.

I remember that before I became a Baha'i I was always looking for the right words to use when I prayed, but now all I have to do is open my prayerbook to find the right prayer. When I pray I used the prayer from my prayerbook. Sometime I write a letter to Baha'u'llah in my pen and paper journal because that helps me focus on the issues at hand. Sometimes I address Baha'u'llah in my thoughts and this helps as well. I also write poems about what is happening to me or how I feel. The poem help me deal with tribulations and difficulties as well.

Poems

need just the right words

to express faith.

Tribulation Tuesday: Reconsidering Breakfast

Fiḍál (Grace), 5 Kamál (Perfection), 171 BE - Tuesday, August 5, 2014 about 11:03 am Pacific Daylight Time

This morning, I got up about 4:30 am, took my thyroid medication, said a prayer, responded to some blog prompts on writing.com, and did a couple of reviews. It was a nice cool morning, so I had the door open while I was doing all this. After I finished writing and reviewing, I got off line and fixed me breakfast. By the time I finish breakfast it had warmed up so I closed the door and turned on the air conditioner.

After breakfast I got online again because I have a couple writing projects to finish on writing.com. I am so tired that even my arms are tired. I am not sure what is causing the problem, but it is possible the breakfast I at caused the issue. This is not the first time I have encountered this issue, so I think it must be something I am eating for breakfast, but I do not know what.

I think I will change my breakfast menu from hot cakes and jelly or English muffins and cream cheese to fruit or chicken. I do not seem to have this problem when I eat fruit and chicken for breakfast. Tomorrow I have an appointment at 9:30 am so I'll fix a piece of chicken or fish tonight so that I have something quick to fix for breakfast in the morning.

I am so tired that I can hardly keep my eyes open and I have a lot more work to do before going to bed tonight. However, since I am so sleepy I will post this and then get off line for a short nap. I do not want to sleep very long, maybe five or ten minutes because, as I wrote, I have a lot of work to complete today.

Tribulation Tuesday: Technical Difficulties

Fiḍál (Grace), 10 Kalimát (Words), 171 BE - Tuesday, July 22, 2014 about 5:17 pm Pacific Daylight Time

All right, to some technical difficulties may not seem like something that could cause unhappiness because it is something one learns to expect when dealing with computers. However, the technical difficulties I am referring to have nothing to do with computers. The technical difficulties I am talking about are moments or hours of depression and fantasizing about worst case scenarios, things that might happen but never occur.

In my case these technical difficulties cause me to procrastinate and worry. Procrastination causes stress because eventually I have to do the jobs I have put off. Worry causes stress because it lets my imagination run wild while rehashing everything I think I have to worry about. The stress causes me to lose stuff because I lay it down and forget what I laid it. The stress also cause fear because I forget words that I should know and I scar myself.

I know that some of what I just wrote does not make sense. I am not worried about making sense right now because the only thing I want to do is write. Writing helps alleviate stress. Prayer helps alleviate stress. I have to find my prayer book because I laid it down and cannot remember where I put it. I am experiencing technical difficulties today. I have experienced technical difficulties all week and I am putting a stop to it right now.

After I finish this entry I will say my noon prayer and then wash my lunch dishes. Once I accomplish those things, I will get back on line because I have more writing waiting and surveys to complete. I need to earn a little more money this month so I can replace the money I have to transfer from the savings to the checking so that I could get a little gas in my car.