I want Momma to stop crying

Istijlál (Majesty), 15 ‘Azamat (Grandeur), 169 BE – Thursday, May 31, 2012 about 4:45 PM Pacific Time

I want Momma to stop crying. I want her to be the happy and independent woman I knew before the Alzheimer’s disease began its destruction.

I want Momma to stop crying. Sometimes the pills help. Sometimes sitting beside her and holding her hand helps. Sometimes sitting beside her and reading the Long Healing prayer helps. Sometimes combinations of the above methods help.

I want Momma to stop crying, but sometimes nothing helps. It is at these times I want to sit beside her and cry with her. I cannot do this because it would only make her more upset. Mom would not understand why I was crying any more then she could tell me why she is crying.

I want Momma to stop crying. On rare occasions, Mom can tell me why she is crying. Sometimes she misses her parents because she does not realize they died years ago. She does not remember attending their funerals. Sometimes she misses her husband because she does not remember the divorce. Sometimes she wants to go to work because she does not remember retiring.

I want Momma to stop crying. Sometimes Mom believes someone stole her clothes. Sometimes she believes someone stole her glasses. Sometimes she believes that everyone hates her. Sometimes she thinks I am her mother. Sometimes she remembers I am her daughter.

I want Momma to stop crying. I want Momma to be happy again. I want to hear Momma sing her favorite songs. I want to see Momma smile again. I want to hear Momma laugh again.

The Games I enjoy

‘Idál (Justice), 14 ‘Azamat (Grandeur), 169 BE – Wednesday, May 30, 2012 about 6:55 PM Pacific Time

I enjoy only four games. Those are Spider Solitaire, Free Cell Solitaire, Mahjong, and Sudoku. At this point in my life, my favorite is Sudoku. Therefore, you know that if I see a new Sudoku book or a book I do not have, I will buy it.

A few weeks ago, I went into the grocery store for some items. I checked the magazine section first and then I went to pharmacy. Just before I got to the pharmacy there was a rack with books on sale. One of those books was Absolutely Nasty Sudoku Level 4 by Frank Longo. I bought it.

Actually, I had to buy it. First, I had never seen this particular Sudoku book before. Second, it was 25% off. There was absolutely no way I was going to pass up a bargain like that. Today I finished the first puzzle and started on the second.

It has taken me a while to finish the first puzzle for two reasons. One, the puzzle are extremely difficult. Two, I laid the book down and then laid a magazine on top of it. Today I picked the magazine up to read it and then decided I need to relax, so I worked on the Sudoku. Yes, solving Sudoku, even difficult Sudoku relaxes me.

With the possible exception of Free Cell, because I want to play every version if it, I think I will forget the other games for a while and focus on Sudoku book and its 242 puzzles.

Looking for the postman in Las Vegas

Fidál (Grace), 13 ‘Azamat (Grandeur), 169 BE – Tuesday, May 29, 2012 about 6:00 PM Pacific Time

I’m looking for the postman today, not that I’m expecting anything special. However, after three days without any letters, bills, or junk mail I’m looking forward to see what we get.

I started this entry earlier this afternoon and encountered several interruptions. The first interruption was the mail carrier; he brought a bill, a letter, and several pieces of junk mail. It’s nice to get more then junk mail for a change. I had to go online to pay the water bill and after that, Mom came home. I just returned to this entry and now I’m hungry. I’m going to post this and fix me something to eat.

Prayer and Oxygen

Jamál (Beauty), 11 ‘Azamat (Grandeur), 169 BE – Sunday, May 27, 2012 about 10:15 AM Pacific Time

My mother has to have oxygen, so we have an oxygen concentrator and oxygen tanks. Mom sleeps with the oxygen concentrator lines in her nose and the concentrator on. However, she does not always need to use it during the day. On Friday, I bought a pulse oximeter to measure her body’s oxygen level. This way if her oxygen level gets below 93% during the day, I can turn on the concentrator and connect the tubes to her nose or connect the oxygen tank, whichever is more convenient.

This morning I checked Mom’s oxygen level and found it was down to 89%, so I turned the concentrator on and put the tubes in her nose. While I was doing this, it struck me that prayer does for our souls what the oxygen concentrator does for my mother’s body. When the oxygen concentrator is on and connected to the human body, it increased the percentage of oxygen in the blood.

Prayer aids a person’s faith in God. When we pray we are connecting our spirits to God and increasing the power of our faith in the same way that the concentrator increased the amount of oxygen in a person’s blood. Sometimes in a person’s daily life, he or she forgets to pray and, therefore, has difficulties due to lack of spiritual power. It is at these times, prayer, acting like an oxygen concentrator, increases the spiritual power to confront the difficulties and overcome doubt.

A Hazel Nut Café Mocha Day

Jalál (Glory), 10 ‘Azamat (Grandeur), 169 BE – Saturday, May 26, 2012 about 9:50 AM Pacific Time

It’s a hazel nut café mocha day, at least until I finish the carafe of coffee I made this morning. Once I’ve finished that carafe, I’m making another because I’m sure the day isn’t going to get much better. I’m not sure it will get worse, but it isn’t going to get any better.

It’s Saturday. Mom doesn’t go to the daycare center on Saturday or Sunday. Since Monday is the observation of Memorial Day, she will remain home that day as well. Due to straining or bruising my right knee some time in the last week, I can’t standup, sit down, or walk for more then five or six minutes at a time without excruciating pain. This isn’t a problem until I have to take Mom to the bathroom. It takes longer then six minutes to get Mom into the bathroom and back to the living room.

At this point, I haven’t considered the process of walking her up and down the hall. She needs the exercise, but I’m not sure I’m up to it today. I think a knee brace would help, but going to the medical supply story until Tuesday is out of the question. Even then I’m not sure I can afford a knee brace until my Social Security check comes in and I can’t get a prescription from my doctor until June 6 and I don’t think I can wait that long for a knee brace. At least not when my knee hurts the way it does when I’m on it for an extended amount of time.

I just finished my second cup of café mocha. I also just realized that I left Mom’s walker where she can pull herself up with it. Since Mom isn’t walking very well today, it isn’t a good idea to leave the walker close to her. If she gets up, she may fall down even with the walker.  Therefore, I think I need to close this, post it, move Mom’s walker, and then get me another cup of café mocha, but this time with two tablespoons of hot chocolate mix.

A windy day in May in Las Vegas

Istiqlál (Independence), 9 ‘Azamat (Grandeur), 169 BE – Friday, May 25, 2012 about 7:20 PM Pacific Time

The wind began this morning. It was blowing when I left the house to go to Walgreens and Smith’s Food and Drug store. It’s been blowing all day. According to the meteorologist the wind gust were up to 40 and 41 miles per hour. He even mentioned gust of 50 miles per hour.

I still have the pine tree in my front yard. I hope it stands up to the wind gust predicted for this weekend. I went out and moved the car farther up in the driveway. Not that it will do any good if the wind blows the tree down. I’ll just have to deal with that if it should occur.

The meteorologist also predicted cooler temperatures for this weekend. He mentioned temperatures in the mid and high eighties. After the triple digit temperatures of the past few days, those are nice temperatures. Since I’m not going anywhere this weekend, I don’t suppose it matter how high the temperatures get.

Our Plans for Memorial Day weekend in Las Vegas

Istijlál (Majesty), 8 ‘Azamat (Grandeur), 169 BE – Thursday, May 24, 2012 about 6:30 PM Pacific Time

When Mom came home from the daycare center this afternoon there was a note on her wheelchair. On Monday, for Memorial Day observances, they close the daycare center. Mom will stay home and I have to figure out something for us to eat.

I have to plan three meals for two people on Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. When Mom is at the daycare center, she eats two meals and snacks. I eat two meals or rather I attempt to eat two meals by myself. When Mom is at the daycare center, I usually eat only one meal, but when she is at home, I eat three meals because Mom does not like to eat by herself.

I know that Monday, we will have a potato and carrot casserole. I have not decided whether I will add chicken or beef to the potatoes and carrots. I am not sure what else we will have, so I will have to see what we have here before I go to the grocery store. Maybe I will get us a watermelon. I always enjoyed watermelon on Memorial Day.

Our plans for Memorial Day weekend are exciting. We will stay home and I will see if I can get Mom to walk up and down the hall a few times. Mom needs to get more exercise, which means assisting her and her walker up and down the hall.

I Remember: Memorial Day Memories

Fidál (Grace), 6 ‘Azamat (Grandeur), 169 BE – Tuesday, May 22, 2012 about 6:30 PM

I remember commemorating Memorial Day on May 30 instead of the last Monday in May.

I remember buying red poppies from Veterans a few days before Memorial Day.

I remember going with my Grandparents to visit the graves of Veterans on Memorial Day.

I remember my Grandmother making crepe paper flowers to put on the graves we visited on Memorial Day.

I remember helping Grandma pack our picnic lunch and snacks to take with us when we visited the graves on Memorial Day.

I remember my Grandma referring to Memorial Day as Decoration Day.

I remember visiting small graveyards without any nearby towns on Memorial Day.

I remember Memorial Day...

This year Memorial Day weekend begins on Saturday, May 26 and we commemorate Memorial Day on Monday, May 28. Pause and say a prayer for the departed or for America or both.

Another Triple digit day in Las Vegas

Kamál (Perfection), 5 ‘Azamat (Grandeur), 169 BE – Monday, May 21, 2012 about 7:35 PM Pacific Time

I shouldn’t complain, we haven’t had very many triple digit days so far this year. I should hold off complaining until July or August when it get extremely hot. Not that complaining will do any good. The only thing complaining about the weather does is make the hot temperatures more unbearable.

I had an optometrist appointment at 9:20 AM. The trip there wasn’t bad, even without a working air conditioner in my car. I didn’t notice the heat on the way to the appointment, but when I got out of the office I noticed the heat; perhaps it was because the temperature in the eye doctor’s office was cooler then the temperature in my house.

According to the meteorologist, we can expect a cool down sometime later this week. I hope so, because I have an appointment on Thursday, at 10:00 AM, to have the bandage changed on my left leg. In addition, I have to go to the grocery store sometime this week, perhaps on Wednesday right after Mom leaves for the daycare center. The temperature is still cool and if I take a list with me, I won’t have to stay out very long.

Somber Saturday: Trying to stay awake in Las Vegas

Jalál (Glory), 3 ‘Azamat (Grandeur), 169 BE – Saturday, May 19, 2012 about 12:05 PM Pacific Time

I’m not very happy today. I got up later then usual because I wasn’t enthusiastic about staying home today. I think I would rather have gone to a park, the swimming pool, or beach. However, those places are out of the question on Saturday’s because getting Mom into and out of a car without working air conditioning is not a battle I choose to fight. Therefore, we stay home on Saturday and Sunday.

This morning was difficult for Mom in more ways then one. She wanted to cry and didn’t attempt to answer any of my questions about why she was crying. Right now, that isn’t an option because I still have to make her bed. In addition, I would much rather have her in the living room where it is easy to get her to the bathroom when necessary and this morning it’s been extremely necessary.

I’ll try to convince her to lay down on the couch if she wants a nap. Perhaps I can convince her to get up and walk around for a few minutes. I’m not sure how cooperative she will be when it comes to walking down the hall and not going into her bedroom. If I let her lay down in her bed room then she will want to get up to go to her bathroom and that isn’t the bathroom easiest for her to use.

Perhaps as the day goes on, both of our moods will change toward the positive. Mine will, I know; however, I’m not sure about Mom’s. Maybe I can get her to laugh about something or at least smile. Writing this post has helped my mood, I’m still tired, but my mood is brighter and I’m smiling; this is always a good sign.

Planning my weekend menu

Istiqlál (Independence), 2 ‘Azamat (Grandeur), 169 BE – Friday, May 18, 2012 about 5:50 PM Pacific Time

Monday through Friday Mom goes to the adult daycare center and receives two meals plus snacks. On Saturday and Sunday, she remains home; therefore, I have to plan her meals and snacks. This weekend we will have waffles and eggs for breakfast with coffee and juice. On the waffles, we will have hazel nut spread, jelly, or peanut butter. Mom usually has peanut butter on her waffles, but this Saturday I will put the hazel nut spread on her waffles and see how she likes it.

For lunch on Saturday, we will have leftovers. I fixed a large pot of spaghetti on Thursday, so we have a lot leftover. There are green beans and sweet potatoes in the refrigerator that I will fix. If we don’t finish those for lunch then we will have them for supper on Saturday.

I think that for snacks I will serve canned fruit or ice cream. I have waffle cones; I know Mom would like to have an ice cream cone. It is warm now and so the ice cream will be a cool treat. I am looking forward to the ice cream myself.

Mom is not able to fix her own meals any more. The thing I miss most on weekends is my mother’s cooking. Mom was a good cook and she fixed wonderful dishes for us to eat on the weekends and the days we were both at home. I guess things like this are to be expected when caring for an Alzheimer’s sufferer.

Thursday Task: Another Thursday at the wound hospital in Las Vegas

Istijlál (Majesty), 1 ‘Azamat (Grandeur), 169 BE – Thursday, May 17, 2012 about 6:05 PM Pacific Time

I went to the wound hospital this morning to have the bandage on my left leg changed. The R.N. who changed the dressing thought it looked worse then it did on Tuesday, May 15, so he got the doctor to look at it. The doctor had the nurse put a different type of dressing on the wound, wrote me a prescription for antibiotics, and said I only had to have the dressing changed once a week. I will see the doctor again in two weeks.

The bandage that is on my leg now, is the type that I can’t get wet other wise it stinks. This means I have to get creative when it comes to taking a shower. The problem is that I can’t find anything to cover the leg with the bandage. If I use a plastic trash bag, which is the only thing tall enough to reach my knee, the bandage will still get wet. I found out, when I had another type of bandage on the leg, that those tall kitchen trash bags don’t work very well when it comes to keeping a knee high bandage dry.

Oh well, that’s life. I will be spending the next two or four Thursday mornings at the wound hospital either having the bandage changed or seeing a doctor. Whoever is reading this, please say healing prayers for me.

An Interesting Tuesday Morning in Las Vegas

Fidál (Grace), 18 Jamál (Beauty), 169 BE – Tuesday, May 15, 2012 about 8:10 Pacific Time

It’s been an interesting Tuesday morning and it isn’t even 8:30 yet. Someone called the police because Mom was screaming and putting up a fuss when the C.N.A. gave her the bath. The front door was open so it probably sounded worse then what it was. Now I suppose I’ll have to keep the front door closed while Mom gets her bath Monday through Friday.

I guess this is something I have to learn to expect. Mom has Alzheimer’s disease and she gets angry when some (even me) gives her a bath. Some days she gets angrier then others, but she always gets angry. She accuses whoever is gives her the bath of attempting to kill her. I want to cry, but it would do no good.

This is a case when tears, no matter how many, help. They do not relieve the stress. Tears only make the situation worse because when I cry I remember how Mom used to be. Used to Mom didn’t curse, she didn’t shout at people, and she didn’t call people names. Now she does all those things, especially when she receives a bath. I miss the woman my mother used to be.

Monday Meditation: Washing Dishes by Hand in Las Vegas

Kamál (Perfection), 17 Jamál (Beauty), 169 BE – Monday, May 14, 2012 about 10:40 AM Pacific Time

There is nothing like washing dishes by hand to focus my mind on the moment. The feel of the hot soapy water on my bare hands is an invigorating experience. I have to scrub clean each dish and then rinse each bowl, cup, plate, or fork. After that, I place them on the drying rack. Through out this process, my mind remains focused on the utensil and nothing else.

After finishing the dishes, I look out my kitchen window. The play of light and shadow appear fresh. The white, pink, and red oleanders seem to glisten in the morning sun. Today, the neighbor’s cat did not walk across the backyard or along the top of fence. However, the birds were singing and the sunshine seemed brighter then usual, perhaps my imagination or just the feeling I get after focusing on one thing for five or ten minutes.

I do not know how long it took me to wash the dish this morning. I did not look at the clock on the microwave. I focused exclusively on getting the dishes clean. Now I know how my Grandmother felt when she washed dishes in the kitchen sink in Blackwell, Oklahoma.

A long day in Las Vegas

Jamál (Beauty), 16 Jamál (Beauty), 169 BE – Sunday, May 13, 2012 about 5:45 PM Pacific Time

It has been a long day and the day is not over. Even though the sun has not set, Mom is in bed. She still has one more pill to take, but I cannot give that to her until about 8:00 PM and this mean I will probably have to wake her up.

My cell phone is on the charger and I am trying to relax before I finish some chores before going to bed. It is difficult to do anything when Mom is awake. It is not impossible, but it is difficult. When Mom is awake I prefer remaining in the living room with her. That way I can keep an eye on her, while attempting to get her up and walking a bit.

A long Mothers’ Day

Fresh strawberry pie and

Hazel nut coffee

I made two carafes of coffee today. Mom and I finished the first with our breakfast and so I made another. We did not finish that, in fact we only drank two cups; therefore, I have coffee to warm over in the microwave in the morning. This afternoon, Mom drank a Dr. Pepper and then finally went to bed about 5:00 PM.

Nap Time in Las Vegas

Jalál (Glory), 15 Jamál (Beauty), 169 BE – Saturday, May 12, 2012 about 4:05 PM Pacific Time

I took a long nap this afternoon. Mom took a nap at the same time; I have to fix the couch up so that she can lay down in it for her afternoon nap. I also have fix up the love seat so that I can nap on it.

An afternoon nap

Rest both my body and mind

Makes the day pleasant

Mothers’ Day Weekend

Istiqlál (Independence), 14 Jamál (Beauty), 169 BE – Friday, May 11, 2012 about 7:00 PM Pacific Time

Mothers’ Day is Sunday. Mom and I will stay home this weekend, as we do every weekend. I bought Mom her favorite pie, so on Sunday we will have strawberry pie; however, I didn’t buy any ice cream. Mom used to eat French vanilla or ordinary vanilla ice cream with her strawberry pie.

Mom doesn’t eat much ice cream any more because it is too rich for her. This Mothers’ Day it was a choice between ice cream or pie, she can’t eat both. I chose to get her the pie because she likes it better then ice cream. Those are our plans for Mothers’ Day. I miss taking Mom out to eat, but we can’t do that this year; so staying home and having strawberry pie will have to do.

The bandage on my left leg

I had the bandage changed on my left leg today. Next few weeks I will have the bandage changed twice a week. My next appointment is on Tuesday and after that on Thursday. I suspect I will have a bandage on my left leg for the rest of my life, which will be a long time.

I realize this is just a test. It is a test of my perseverance. It is a test of my patience. It is a test of my ingenuity. It is a test of my creativity. I want a pair of new shoes, but right now, the only shoes I can wear are crocs. Therefore, I think I will look for a pair of purple crocs. I have always wanted a pair and this is a good time to buy them. I know they will fit over the bandage on my left foot because I am wearing that brand now.

Midweek Reflections on trash collection day

‘Idál (Justice), 12 Jamál (Beauty), 169 BE – Wednesday, May 9, 2012 about 9:30 AM Pacific Time

It’s Wednesday, trash collection day in my neighborhood. I forgot to roll the trashcan to the curb this morning. I didn’t get up until 5:00 AM, which is the time I begin getting Mom up. Before waking Mom, I took my thyroid pill, but didn’t do anything else.

I usually takes me 25 to 30 minutes to get Mom out of bed and dressed. Once she has fresh clothes on, I take her into the living room and give Mom her first pill of the morning. After that, I go outside to pick up the Las Vegas Review-Journal. At this time, I normally roll the trash to the curb on Wednesday, but today I forgot all about rolling the trashcan to the curb.

I didn’t think about this being trash collection day until the garbage trucks rolled by my house and then it was too late. Oh well, I’ll just have to roll the trashcan to the curb on Friday night or Saturday morning. I’ll just have to make sure the trash in the can is less then 50 lbs. because if it’s more then that the men won’t empty the can and I will have to transfer some of the garbage to different trashcans.

Tuesday Thoughts on Pennies from Heaven

Fidál (Grace), 11 Jamál (Beauty), 169 BE – Tuesday, May 8, 2012 about 12:50 PM Pacific Time

Pennies from heaven are pennies that you find laying around, usually on the ground. I have a small prescription bottle sitting by my computer labeled “Pennies from Heaven” in which I put all my pennies. I do not limit the pennies to those I find lying around on the ground. I remove the pennies I get in change and put those in the bottle as well.

The “Pennies from Heaven” bottle is almost full, so I need to decide what I am going to do with them. I have them changed into dollars and spend them, but there is not enough for that. I am going to transfer them to a medium sized plastic juice bottle and fill that. Once I have the juice bottle filled then I will get the pennies changed into dollars.

Dust Devils in Las Vegas

Kamál (Perfection), 10 Jamál (Beauty), 169 BE – Monday, May 7, 2012 about 6:25 PM Pacific Time

Through Las Vegas streets

Dust devils danced promising

Trouble running fun

This afternoon dust devils blew through part of Las Vegas. It kicked up the dust in my yard and pelted the house with sand particles. In some sections of the city they cause some damage.

Spiritual Sunday: A Prayer for Sunday

Jamál (Beauty), 9 Jamál (Beauty), 169 BE – Sunday, May 6, 2012 about 9:44 AM Pacific Time

O Lord,

bless this day

the first day of a new week.

O Lord,

protect us

from the fears

that forgetfulness of you

generates.

O Lord,

guide us

down the rough roads

of responsibility

and help us avoid

the detour of indifference.

O Lord,

bless this day

the first day of a new week.

Family history Friday: Grandpa Newland

Istiqlál (Independence), 7 Jamál (Beauty), 169 BE – Friday, May 4, 2012 about 6:45 PM Pacific Time

I remember many things about my Grandpa Newland. Grandpa was bald and he would let us rub his baldhead. My mother said that when she was a child she remembered sitting on his lap and rubbing his baldhead.

Grandpa drank coffee. Every day he would make a pot of coffee and when he finished the one pot of coffee, he would make another. Grandpa poured the first cup of coffee I ever drank; at least I think he poured it. Anyway, the cup contained a little bit of coffee with a lot of cream and sugar.

Another thing I remember about Grandpa was that he smoked cigarettes. I remember Grandpa telling me that he began smoking at 13 years old. I also remember Grandpa rolled his own cigarettes. I remember his sitting at the kitchen table rolling cigarettes. I also remember sitting by Grandpa’s hospital bed when he was dying of cancer.

Thursday Thoughts on Smelling Roses and transplanting mint

Istijlál (Majesty), 6 Jamál (Beauty), 169 BE – Thursday, May 3, 2012 about 5:30 PM Pacific Time

I need to stop and smell the roses. I need to relax and take a little time off to walk through a park. I need to get my hands dirty and plant something in the ground.

Today I replanted a grapefruit mint plant. I transplanted the little green plant from a small container to a large container. This is the first time I have attempted to transplant anything. I hope I did it properly. I pray the mint plant thrives and grows. No matter what happens to this plant, I am going to do this again because it was fun.

I wish I could post a picture; however, I am having issues with my digital camera’s drivers. The disk that came with the camera is too small to fit in my CD drive (I need to upgrade my technology) and I cannot fide the drivers on the manufacturer’s website. I contacted the company via e-mail. I have not heard anything. My next option is to call technical support, which I will do after recharging my phone’s batteries.

I began this post discussing plants not technology. I need to relax because the issues I have with technology stresses, upsets, and depresses me. While planting or transplanting, seem to have the opposite effect.

Worried Wednesday a good time to place everything in God’s hands

‘Idál (Justice), 5 Jamál (Beauty), 169 BE – Wednesday, May 2, 2012 about 10:40 AM Pacific Time

It’s Wednesday and I didn’t sleep well last night. My mattress caused my sleeplessness. It’s uncomfortable. It’s too hard. Every time I turned over the pain in my knees woke me up. I need a new mattress, so I will place this situation in God’s hands and go back to sleeping on the love seat or the couch.

Tomorrow I have an appointment with my mechanic about 8:30 AM to finish work on my car. I also have an appointment with the wound doctor at 10:00 AM because my left leg is weeping again.  The wound hospital is a block or so from my mechanic’s shop and I plan to walk to the wound hospital. All right, walking to the wound hospital may not be a good idea, but that’s how I’m doing it. I place this situation in God’s hands and continue with my plans because I know that it will turn out all right.

The only thing I can do with worries is to place everything in God’s hands, make my plans concerning a solution, and continue with life. If there is another solution that I haven’t found then it will be made available. Everyday place the day and the situation in God’s hands and continue living in the shadow of God’s Glory.

Tuesday Thoughts: Closing out April

Fidál (Grace), 4 Jamál (Beauty), 169 BE – Tuesday, May 1, 2012 2:50 PM Pacific Time

It’s Tuesday the first of May. This is the day I close out April’s books and make the mortgage payment online. I went to the website of the bank that has our mortgage and made the payment this morning. Now I just have to close out April’s books and set up the books for May.

This is a long, but not complicated process because I have checked the bank accounts everyday. Now all I have to do is make sure that the books balance, which sometimes can be an issue. When it comes to balancing the books, my problem is cash. I don’t keep track of cash spending the same way I keep track of the debit card spending.

I guess that’s why I prefer to use a debit card, checks, or a credit card because I can keep a close eye on what we (Mom and I) spend. When it comes to counting cash, I always have less then what I think I should have. This is frustrating and irritating and I know what causes the problem. I don’t write down the cash that I spend or if I do write it down, I can’t find the note pad I wrote it on.

Frustrating or not, I have to balance the books today because if I wait a couple of days the situation will only become worse. So, why am I composing a blog entry instead of balancing the books? That is a good question and I’m not sure I have an answer; at least, I don’t have an answer I’m willing to post.