Thankful Thursday

3 Baha 163 B.E. March 22-23, 2006

What is it that I am grateful for today? Where do I begin to list the blessings that I have experienced this week? First, we received the latest issue of The American Baha’i, so I have a paper full of good news to read. I always enjoy getting the new issue because there so much good news to brighten may days. It takes me at least a week probably more to read it because I enjoy reading it while sipping either a hot cup of coffee or tea. In addition, while I read I like to look for poetry subjects or short phrases that would make good titles for poems. In fact, I have already found a short phrase that would make a good title for a poem. The phrase is “We Learn”, but I’m not quite sure about the rest of the poem. Perhaps something like this

We Learn

Step-by-step we learn to walk
across the room
and stand by a window looking out
into the world.

Word by word we learn to pray
and intone God’s Most Great Name …

Second, I am grateful for the morning and the afternoon T.V. news. The local news tells what is going on in Las Vegas and the national news lets me know what is going on in the nation and the world. The T.V. news is not always good news, but that is all right because I have The American Baha’i for good national and international good news. For local good news, there is the Nineteen-day feast. I like the T.V. news because they always give unusual and intriguing slices of life about human nature. Today one of the intriguing and unusual news items is about cockroaches; it seems that jewelers are selling living cockroaches as jewelry. To keep the cockroaches on the blouses the jewelers put gold leashes on the cockroaches.

Third, I am grateful for the Naw-Ruz party I went to on Monday evening, March 20. The party began the New Year on a spiritual note. I already have several poems started because of the Naw-Ruz party. Part of the entertainment was a harp solo, the song played was about a waterfall and the harp music sounded just like a waterfall. There was also a display of art inspired by the Bab and Baha’u’llah.

Fourth, I am grateful for the fact that I have written a poem everyday so far this year. True, this is only the third day of 163 B.E. and I have written between three to five poems. The poems I have written so far are (1) Naw-Ruz (see A New Year Has Begun), (2) Memories of a Naw-Ruz Party (see Spiritual Poetry), (3) The Irish In Me, and (4) He Suffered: To Baha’u’llah.

Fifth, I am grateful for the fact that it is spring. Spring is a wonderful time of year and a good time to begin a New Year. Spring is a wonderful time to begin a New Year, the world is in bloom and northern hemisphere is warming. Flowers and trees are transforming fields and cities. Nature is waking from its winter’s sleep and there are many beautiful plants sprouting.

A New Year Has Begun

2 Baha 163 B.E March 21-22, 2006 A.D

On the evening of March 20, 2006 A.D. a New Year begun on a festive and joyous note, I attended a Naw-Ruz party at the Baha’i Center in Las Vegas, Nevada. The program for the celebration consisted of prayers, music and a play. The play community youth put on and preformed in the play, it was well rehearsed and funny. The music was a harp solo, a harp and piano duet and a piano solo. The prayers were wonderful and the food served was delightful. There was a display of artistic works by one of the local artist.

Naw-Ruz

New Day, new reason
to intone God’s Most Great Name;
proclaim unity.

The first day of spring and the weather was cold; winter weather with the feel of snow in the air and sleet on the windshields of cars. The sky was cloudy and the sunset beautiful. Unusual weather for the time of year and the area; it snowed on Mount Charleston. I am not sure what else to say, I do not remember this type of weather here (Las Vegas) on the first day of spring.

Naw-Ruz

New Year, new season
the sun crossed the vernal equinox;
transformation, birth.

It Has Been a While

18 Ala 162 B.E. March 18-19, 2006 A.D.

It has been several day since I posted to this blog. Therefore, I guess I will go over all that has happened in my life. First, someone broke into the house while my mother and I were asleep and robbed us. Whoever it was took some costume jewelry, ids and broke into the safe or used the key in the jewelry box to open the safe (OK, so putting the key to the safe in a jewelry box is not a good idea). The robbers also took the keys to the house and to the car; fortunately, the extra key to the car was not in the jewelry boxes and my brother had an extra key to the house.

Second, I begin going for my Masters again. The last time I attempted the stress of life got the best of me and my grades fell. This time I am going for a completely different program and at a different online university. I cannot say that I am not stress or at the very least nervous, but I am taking a different approach this time. For example instead of worrying about half-a-dozen different things in a single day, I am allowing myself only one worry. In addition, I am repeating The Remover of Difficulties a lot. Of course, today (March 19) is only the first day of class so we will see how things go.

A new year begins soon and it is time for me to make my new years goals. Naw-Ruz (the Baha’i New Year) falls on the first day of spring and that is when I make my new years goals. I am not going to call them resolutions because a resolution is something one makes and often does not keep. On the other hand, one achieves a goal through taking specific steps. I am not going to say much about what my goals are right now, except that I am writing, at least, 8,000 words a day. Considering that the class I am taking requires a minimum of two 2 to 5 pages papers a week 8,000 words a day may be an understatement of the average words per day.

Morning Thoughts About Dreams

5 Ala 162 B.E. March 4-5, 2006 A.D.

It is cloudy outside this morning, it is after dawn and the sun has not shown its face. I woke up with a phrase from one of the prayers revealed by Baha’u’llah running through my mind. The partial quote that keeps running through my thoughts this morning is “… bless my affairs, and redeem my debts, and satisfy my needs.” This is a phrase in a prayer on pages 223 to 224 of the Baha’i prayer book. Not sure why it is running through my mind this morning, because that was not the prayer I said before going to bed last night. Interestingly enough, I do not remember any dream I had last night or early this morning.

I have had some intriguing dreams ever since the Fast begun on March 2. The dreams I have had all had the same theme, finding something. In each case, it was not finding something that I had or thought I lost. Instead, they were dreams about finding things I did not know I possessed. In one case I found paper money in the wallet, I carry all the time, when I had the dream knew I do not have any paper money in that wallet but I looked anyway and the wallet was empty. In the other dreams I found little things such as gems, jewels and coins that I did not realize I had in my possession. The interesting thing is that I found these items all over the house and most were laying right in plain sight in places that I look at everyday.

These dreams have gotten me to thinking about the blessing I overlook everyday. I think when I start my springhouse cleaning later on today, I am going to go about it a little slower than usual and see what I do possess. I think if I start it now I should be able to get all I want completed before March 21. It is not that I have that much to do; it is just that I have a tendency to overestimate what I can achieve in a single day.

I actually do not think the dreams are referring to material object, I think they have more to do with spiritual blessing or even talents and attributes I possess, but do not realize I possess. In the last couple of months, my dreams have stayed with me longer then usual. Normally I forget most of my dreams when I was up, but that is not how it has been since February 7 or before. The majority of my dreams have stayed with me and I have been having some extremely intriguing dreams, all of which have spiritual themes or continuations.

Meditation Journal For Fast

4 Ala 162 B.E. March 4-5, 2006

As a gift for Ayyam-i-Ha I received a Fast meditation journal. The journal contains nineteen pages with a quote from the Baha’i scriptures at the top of the page followed by sever blank lines to write my thoughts on the quotation. On the front of the journal is a short prayer for the fast and on the journal’s last page is a longer Fast prayer. This is the first year I have did a meditation journal for the Fast.

Meditating on the sacred scriptures is an interesting process. The way I go about it is to first say a prayer, in this case a prayer for Fast. Next I read the scripture verse over several times. After I have read the sacred quote over, I think about it for a few minutes and then I write my thoughts down. Sometimes I am surprised by what I write and sometimes I am not surprised.

The quote for the first day of Fast from Baha’u’llah and says: “Fasting and obligatory prayer are as two wings to man's life. Blessed be the one who soareth with their aid in the heaven of the love of God, the Lord of all worlds.” (Compilations, The Importance of Obligatory Prayer and Fasting).

My thoughts on the quote are (1) Carried above desires of matter the lover/seeker ascends wings washed by the duties of faith obedient to the longing of spirit ascend carry; (2) Weighted down by the desires of matter the soul cannot fly; (3) Prayer and fasting unburden the soul free the spirit from the desires of matter; (4) Love is paradise, God’s love the ultimate paradise; (5) Obligatory prayer - prayer is always one of the divine laws laid down by God’s reflection on Earth, fasting another. When the Fast is over, I am going to combine my thoughts on the quotes into a poem or a series of poems about the Fast.

The Fast and the Opportunity for Renewal

1 Ala 162 B.E. March 1-2, 2006 A.D.

The Fast and the Opportunity for Renewal

The month of Ala (Loftiness) has arrived, this is the last month in the Baha’i year, and this is the last month of winter in the northern hemisphere. On March 21 spring and a new year arrives. The month of Ala, which is from sunset on March 1 to sunset on March 20, is the month of the nineteen day Fast. This is when Baha’is Fast from sunup to sundown in accordance with the commandments revealed in the Katib-i-Aqdas by Baha’u’llah.

The Fast, for me, is more the simply abstaining from food, it is a time to refocus one the things that are important. This year I am keeping a meditation journal during the Fast, the journal was an Ayyam-i-Ha gift, it contains a quote for each of the nineteen days to meditate on and then write short thoughts on the quote.

The quote, in the meditation journal, for the first day of the Fast has to do with fasting and obligatory prayer. The quote refers to fasting and obligatory prayer as wings which a person uses to fly to the paradise of God’s love. Indeed, God’s love is paradise and the only true paradise one finds. God’s love is also renewal and peace.

Morning and the House Is Silent

2 Ayyam-i-Ha 162 B.E. February 26-27, 2006 A.D.

It is morning and the house is quiet, still after a long nights sleep. I wake listening to the silence for indications that I am not alone. I hear nothing, but I feel the tranquility of being alone. I am alone with my thoughts, realizing that since I went to bed early I woke up early as well. I get up without turning on the light, find cloths to put on (hoping that at least everything coordinates) and get dressed. I find my prayer beads and go into the dining room, to see what time it is and the clock reads 12:05.

It is morning and the house is still, so I go into the living room and turn on the computer. Then while it is booting, I go into the bathroom, wash my hands, face, and return to the living room. I sit down in my desk chair, take my prayer beads and face east. I begin chanting the Greatest Name ninety-five times using the prayer beads to count. Why do I turn on the computer before chanting? The reason is not quite clear to me, but this is what I did this morning. Maybe chanting God’s Greatest Name helps me to remember the dream, I had last night. Maybe it is just the silence and tranquility in the house around me, but I chant before doing any actual work or getting online.

It is morning and the house is hushed, I write about the dream I had last night or was it before I woke up. The dream, called The Wire Figure Man, was intriguing and memorable; I posted in in my writing.com blog. It was a color dream that played like a movie, I was not in the dream, but rather I was the audience watching the dream. I classified the dream as a science fiction movie.

It is morning and the house is silent, I pick up my prayer book. This morning I am scattering my prayers between bouts of writing. I have never tried this approach before, so I well see how it goes. I do know that I have a tendency to focus on continuing to write without pause and this is not conducive to my creativity. I am much more creative when I insert my bouts of writing between other activities.

It is morning and the house is soundless, the background noises do not interfere with my morning meditations so it is as if they are not here. Lion is being a pest; he does not understand why I am up so early. He did not have to wake me up this morning I awoke on my own. Lion wants only stroking and the silence in the house enhances his purr.

It is morning and the house is noiseless, Lion has gone off to lie down. I am sitting alone at the computer contemplating turning up the heat because it is getting a bit chilly. I think I will turn up the heat and while I am doing that get a bottle of water. I am thirsty; I have taken the last sip of water out of the bottle sitting on the stand by my computer desk.

It is morning and the house is silent, sounds like a good title for a poem. Actually, this whole piece looks and feels as if it could be a prose poem. If that is the case, I am going to have to rewrite it eventually. However, at this point I am going to leave it as if it is and post it. It is now 2:00 a.m. PST.

The First Day of Ayyam-i-Ha

1 Ayyam-i-Ha 162 B.E. February 25-26, 2006 A.D.

On the first day of Ayyam-i-Ha, I went to Spiritual Services at the Baha’i Center in Las Vegas. The Sunrise Manor Study Circle planned today’s service and the Las Vegas Baha’i Choir sing accompanied by a pianist. The subject of the spiritual service was the Fast and everyone who attended received a gift from the Study Circle that planned the services. The gift that everyone received was a Meditation Journal For the Fast.

The Sunrise Manor (one of the nine townships in Las Vegas) created and printed the meditation journal. The journal consists of a front and back cover, the back cover has a picture of a sunrise shining through clouds. The front cover has a Fast Prayer and the title of the journal. Inside are nineteen pages with a quote from the Baha’i scriptures at the top and seventeen blank lines to write down your thoughts. On the twentieth page is a longer Fast Prayer revealed by Baha’u’llah.

I will begin the meditation journal on the morning of March 2 when the Fast begins. I am looking forward to Fast, it is a spiritual time, a time for reflection, it occurs in the last month of year and after the fast then Naw-Ruz is celebrated. I am looking forward to celebrating Naw-Ruz on the evening of March 20. In fact, I am looking forward to the coming year.

Bringing Myself to Account

19 Mulk 162 B.E. February 24-25, 2006 A.D.

In The Hidden Words Baha’u’llah says: “O SON OF BEING! Bring thyself to account each day ere thou art summoned to a reckoning; for death, unheralded, shall come upon thee and thou shalt be called to give account for thy deeds.” (Baha'u'llah, The Arabic Hidden Words # 31). This quote came to mind this morning when I checked my yahoo e-mail account and saw the prompt title (Weekly Achievements, 2/25/2006, 12:00 am) from the Sterling Quill journaling group. What brought the quote to my mind when I saw the prompt title is this: Last night, before I went to bed, a friend called with the news that another friend had died and her funeral would be today at 10:00 a.m.

Contemplating the two events I realized that I need to look closer at bringing myself to account. Often I look at the material goals and the writing goals I have set for the week and consider whether or not I have achieved them. However, there spiritual goals that I set for myself each day and week as well. I do not write these spiritual goals down because sometimes I do not (or at least tell myself) I do not know how to put them into words. However, the spiritual goals need writing down in concrete terms of actions; the reason if I can not write the goal in concrete terms how do I know if I have achieved that goal.

Since I did not write the spiritual goals in concrete terms last Sunday, I can not really tell if I achieved them. I think I may have achieved the spiritual goals, but without knowing what actions were to indicate achievement I am unable to tell for certain. This coming week I will down the spiritual goal and the action that indicates I have achieved that goal. This brings me to another thought, my writing goal is to write between 6,000 and 8,000 words a day. I have not been putting down the concrete actions that would indicate I achieved that goal either. So before I post the goals for the upcoming week, I need to set concrete terms that would indicate achievement of those goals.

Deciding what to wear to an Ayyam-i-Ha Party

18 Mulk 162 B.E. February 23-24, 2006 A.D.

At sunset, on the evening of February 25, Ayyam-i-Ha begins. The evening of February 26 and February 28, we (my mother and me) will be attending Ayyam-i-Ha parties at the Baha’i Center in Las Vegas. I am looking forward to the party, but I have not decided what I am going to wear. I have plenty of cloths, the problem is deciding what to ware, and normally I wait until close to the time of a party to decide, but this year I think I will pick out the dress I want to wear tomorrow. This is a new tactic for me, with the exception of Naw-Ruz when I decide a few days ahead, I usually just ware whatever dress or skirt I grab out of the closet.

I have never been a person to think too far ahead when it comes to what I am going to wear any place. It just that I think I am in a rut and looking for ways to get out of the rut. If I change how I pick out the dress I wear to one party, that will go a long way to getting me out of my rut. I can still think of things to write about, so my rut is not very bad right now, but I need to make some changes before I get a case of writers’ block. If I am in a rut very long, I get writers’ block and cannot write anything.

Anyway, back to deciding what to wear. I need to pick our dresses for three upcoming events. The first is the Ayyam-i-Ha party on February 26; I am going to wear the red dress with the flower design. The second is the Ayyam-i-Ha party on February 28 and the third is Naw-Ruz. I need to decide on one outfit right now, the dress for the other two events I can decide on later. The red dress will look good with the black shoes, I will have to find a purse to go with the outfit or just carry my driver’s license and ID because the purse I carry all the time will not go with the outfit I have chosen.

Thankful Thursday

17 Mulk 162 B.E. February 22-23, 2006 A.D.

In one of my Yahoo journaling groups, this is Thankful Thursday. The prompt for today is to list ten things you are thankful for; this is a repeating prompt that occurs every Thursday. The question in my mind this morning is, not so much what I am thankful for, but how do I cut that list down to only ten items. There are so many things in the world that causes one to give thanks. Among the prayers revealed by The Bab and Baha’u’llah and written by ‘Abdu’l-Baha there are numerous prayers of praise and gratitude.

In the Baha’i Prayer Book prayers for Praise and Gratitude are listed under the same heading. This is understandable, at least from my point of view, since when one gives praise to God one is thanking God of all occurs in one’s life. Gratitude or thanksgiving is an ability one can practice everyday. No matter what events occur in one’s life, whether that events are good, bad or indifferent, there is always something for which to give thanks. So often human beings look at the bad stuff that happens and sees nothing but darkness and despair, however, no matter how dark or dispirit the situation in one’s life there is always a bright spot in one’s day.

True sometimes one has to look for the bright spot. Sometimes the only bright one can see is dawn’s sunlight turning the bark on the stone pines in the front yard golden, but that is a bright spot to focus upon and it may be the only bright spot in an entire day. I’m not saying that there isn’t tests and difficulties, but rather than worrying about the tests and difficulties look at the joy and happiness. When one focuses on the darkness all that a person sees is darkness, but when one focuses on the light or even looks at or for the light then one usually sees the light.

So now I come back the ten items or events that I am thankful for this week. What do I put down? First, I am thankful that when the sun rises over Frenchman’s or Sunrise Mountain (I live in Las Vegas over twenty years and I still not sure if that is two different mountains or one mountain with two names) it turns the bark of the stone pines and the olive tree in my front yard golden. Second, I am thankful for hearing the healing message of Baha’u’llah, while there have been and still are time when I think I can not do anything right, the one thing I know that I did right was accept Baha’u’llah. Third, the prayers revealed by Baha’u’llah because not matter what the situation in my life and the world around me there is always a prayer covering the situation. Fourth, the ability to write poetry, if I cannot say how I feel in any other way I can put it in verse form. Fifth, the test and difficulties that have occurred in my life which have helped me develop my talents and God given abilities. Sixth, the tests and difficulties that will occur in t my life (same reason as number five). Seventh, my cats that cause me to laugh at least once a day. Eight, my friends because without their prayers and emotional support I am not sure I could get through the day. Ninth, the medical study I am participating in right now that gives me free medication. Tenth, my mother (who is still in this world) because without her (and my father, of course) my soul would not have the chance to develop its abilities in the material realm.

Three Dreams

15 Mulk 162 B.E. February 20-21, 2006 A.D.

Intriguing is the word for the day, or at least the dreams I had last night. Periodically I sleep and wake up several times over the night because of dreams and then go back to sleep again. Another fascinating aspect about my dreams is that I dream in color and I know I am dreaming during my dream experience. In addition, I repeat dreams over a night, a week, a month or a year. Last night I repeated three different dream three times during the night.

One of the dreams (I think this was the first dream) had to do with music, in the dream people were playing bells or ringing bells. The bells sounded small and melodic and the song they were playing was familiar to me, but I am not sure of the name. The tune sounded like a song I have heard the Las Vegas Baha’i Choir sing at the Baha’i Center during spiritual services. Each time I had this dream last night or perhaps I should say early this morning, because I did not get to bed until after midnight, the bells were playing the same song. Another interesting thing about this dream is that the bells resembled the voices of people singing more then bells ringing.

In the second dream, there were light rainbows of light dancing through my dream. The light illuminated the pages of a book and sheets of various colored paper. There were words on the pages of the book, I do not remember what the words said; I just know there were words on the book’s pages. The paper had pictures and drawing of different buildings, one of the buildings on the paper was the Baha’i Temple under constructed in Chili while the other pictures show other Baha’i Temples in different parts of the world. In addition, there were papers with drawings of other religious structures and symbols.

In the third dream, a group of people were laughing, playing and walking through the streets of a city. The members of the group wore various colors and styles of clothing and their skin tones reflected every color of human skin tone in the world. I am not sure what the group was doing, when some approached the group and ask a question a person in the group answered the question. In addition, if someone approached the group wanting something i.e. money, food, water etc. someone in the group gave whatever was wanted or needed without asking a question or wanting any type of remittance in return.

Each of these dream repeated three times during the night. I went to sleep, a dream woke me up, I laid in bed thinking about the dream and then went back to sleep. This is how the night went, I woke up this early morning (despite the fact I did not get to bed until after midnight) feeling refreshed, happy and unworried. I feel as if I had eight hours of sleep rather than just four or five hours of sleep.

Individual Potential

14 Mulk 162 B.E. February 19-20, 2006 A.D.

My Thoughts on Developing My Individual Potential

I am a unique individual, I have my own path to walk through life, I have my own talents to develop and I can reflect the attributes of God in my own unique wavelengths. I am a human being walking my own path toward immortality. As I travel my path through the physical world, I encounter other unique human beings walking their own paths toward eternity.

The path I am traveling through the physical world carries me from conception to death and into the spiritual world beyond. On this path, I encounter difficulties and tests that develop my innate potential and talents and polish the mirror of my soul so that I can reflect the attributes of divinity. Sometimes I or other individuals I encounter in my journey towards God engender these tests and difficulties. Sometimes these tests and difficulties are gifts from God, blessing from the Divine Essence that created the universe.

I am responsible for the way I react to these tests and difficulties; I am experiencing these tests and difficulties from my own individual point of view. My point of view is different from the points of view of other people I encounter on my physical journey through this world, this material plain of existence. I am responsible for my own actions and emotional responses to the tests and difficulties or growing pains that occur during my travel on the material plain. Here, upon this material plain I have a choice, I can choose to develop my spiritual attributes or I can focus exclusive on acquiring material objects.

My spiritual attributes are like the wings of a butterfly, which allows the creature to ascend into the sky and fly from flower to flower. As I travel my path of material existence I choose develop my spiritual ability, which are the divine attributes, or I choose not to develop them. At the death of my physical body, when my soul ascends into the next world, all I will have are those spiritual abilities I have developed here on this plain of existence. Either any spiritual attribute I have not developed here I will receive from the Divine Essence or I will have to learn to do without.

Posting Is Journaling Too!

13 Mulk 162 B.E. February 18-19, 2006 A.D.

Posting Is Journaling Too!

Posting is journaling Too is the subject line of one of the reminder’s I that comes from the yahoo journalwriting group. The note that comes with this subject/prompt is as follows: “Did you remember to print your posts here in the group to prompts and other members questions? Often times some of my most insightful writing comes as a reply to something here in JournalWriting. Posting counts as journaling. Did you write something wonderful? Print it out and put it in your journal.” (JournalWriting Moderators)

I have learned more about the way I think and why I believe the way I do by writing and posting to both my journal and prompts groups and my blogs than I have ever learned before. Responding to group posts helps me to focus my thoughts and write deep. To answer many of the posted prompts I have to look within to find the reason for my beliefs. I have also learned to type faster, to think while I am typing a response rather than thinking about the response before I type it into the word processor. I respond to many of the prompts by free writing for a specific period of time. The time limit I usually give myself is 10, 20, or 30 minutes. This helps me to get to the meat of the subject quickly and prevents me from editing while I type. If editing is necessary it can be edited later.

I still have a long way to go when I am typing responses to the prompts, but as I respond both my thinking process and my writing improves. I responding to post better than simply writing in a pen and paper journal. When I use a word processor it catches the bad spelling and if I spell a word phonically then the word processor can give me the proper word, this means when I go back to rewrite I do not have to speculate about the word I meant. The prompts help me to know myself and there is a weekly prompt that forces me to account for goals I have set for the week. True one is supposed to bring himself to account each day, which I do but with the prompts I am forced to write down (at least once a week) what I accomplished and how I can do better in the coming week.

Answering prompts is a creative expression and something I look forward to doing. In addition the prompts give me something to post to my blogs when I am having an attack of writer’s block or my inner critic is being particularly difficult. I have found that the fast I time the less chance my inner critic has to interrupt, writing in a pen and paper journal is different. When I write in my pen and paper journal my inner critic is always interrupting me. Blogging and responding to group prompts has given me ideas for stories, poems, essays and other bad habits I need to work on and explore.

Cleaning Out My E-Mail Box

12 Mulk 162 B.E. February 17-18, 2006 A.D.

As I was looking at my e-mail today, I realized I had not cleaned out one of my e-mail boxes in about a week. What this means is that I have sever old e-mails taking up space in my e-mail box and on my computer (I am referring to the e-mail that I can exclusively access at home). Actually I have 1,023 unread e-mails in my inbox, some of those e-mails I want to read and some I do not. So I am going to have to clean out my e-mail box.

Now there are two ways I can go about this project. I can either spend the rest of the day cleaning out the e-mail box or I can do it a little bit at a time. I can go through the inbox and delete the stuff I know I don’t want to read or investigate and taking care of the items that must be taken care of immediately. Then over the next week I can check out the other and see if there is anything that I feel is necessary to investigate. No matter how I go about it, it is going to take a while and I do not want to interfere with other events that are just as important or more important then the e-mails in my inbox. OK, so this entire problem is my own fault and I would not have this problem if I took care of the e-mails that come in on a daily basis.

After thinking about this awhile, there appears to be a spiritual lesson here. Cleaning out the e-mail inbox is like bringing myself to account. If I want to overcome bad habits, change a habit or live according to Baha‘u‘llah‘s instructions, I need to work on it daily. Daily work on a problems means bring myself to account and looking at what I did that day then resolving and attempting to do better tomorrow. Most of the time when I bring myself to account, I do not writing anything in a journal. Maybe I need to start bringing myself to account in one of my journals on a daily basis. I start a spiritual journal at the beginning of Mulk, this last week I have not written anything in it perhaps I need to bring myself to account in that journal. A journal entry need only be one or two sentences on how I can do better in the future.

Interesting Dreams

10 Mulk 162 B.E. February 15-16, 2006 A.D.

I had an interesting dream last night or early this morning. The dream was about submitting one page story for publication in a magazine or to a contest. The dream did not reveal which magazine or contest to which I submitted the story. In the dream I saw a one page story, probably a piece of flash fiction, that I submitted. The fiction item was a mystery of some type. I woke up for a few minutes and had the same dream or a similar dream again and woke up again. The third time I had the dream, I woke up and got out of bed. This is the first time I have dreamed about seeing a one page story or, for that matter, any type of printed story in a dream.

In the past week I have had several interesting and puzzling dreams. In one dream, and this is one of those dreams that reoccurred when I went back to sleep, I was standing with a crowds of people in an airport, a bus station or a train depot (not sure which). The group of people I was standing with were Olympic athletes and we were going to some sort of Olympic events. I am not sure where we were going, but we were going to an Olympic event. My dreams are like this, when I dream of going someplace or traveling I never know my destination in the dream.

In another dream I was at my Grandparents farm, I walked to the barn to milk the cow and gather the eggs. I walked along a path that was bordered on each side by log type fences. That is the fences looked like thin round logs between two upright round posts and surrounded fields of green. When I got to the barn, its door closed and barred from the outside, I found I had forgotten the pale to hold the milk and the basket to hold the eggs. I turned around to go back to the farm house, which I could not see from where I was, I found that my way was barred by a huge spider and spider web. I turned around and found another exit from the barn area, but this exist was also blocked by a huge spider and web. In the distance I could see snow capped mountains, which looked either like the Rocky Mountains or the Alps.

Those are the dreams I remember having in the past week. It is unusual for me to have so many dreams in a single week that I remember on waking up. Throughout my life I have had other interesting and puzzling dreams. Sometimes I have had nightmares, but those are rare. Most of my dreams are not night mares, they are just puzzling and intriguing. Another interesting thing about my dreams is that most, if not all, of them are in color. I usually know that I am dreaming and on some occasions, especially when it comes to nightmares, I seem to be able to direct the dream.

An Interesting Day And Uneventful Day

9 Mulk 162 B.E. February 14-15, 2006 A.D.

It’s been an interesting day and a windy day, there was a wind advisory which met that people with respiratory problems should stay in doors. I went out, had to go to Henderson this afternoon. The drive to Henderson was exciting, not that I had any problems going. We drove south on Eastern and turn left on Sunset Road. On the way traffic moved well, without any problems and I didn’t see any police cars or accidents. Traffic flowed well on Eastern.

By exciting I mean that the wind was blowing and carrying trash across the street. So I had to watch for things like palm leaves. There are a lot of desert palms in Las Vegas and most people don’t cut them, it’s a lot easier and cheaper to let the strong wind blow the dead leaves off. The leaves are large and resemble fans. Today was also trash day in my part of town, so what trash was put out blew across the road. Of course, a lot of people didn’t put out their trash because of the wind, but there was still trash blowing across Eastern in places, so you had to watch what was blowing across the street in front of you.

The route I traveled south on Eastern, took me (or perhaps I should say us because my mother went with me); anyway the route took us past McCarran airport. The sound of planes landing is quite loud and comforting in a way. I enjoy hear the noise of jet planes, it’s a nice sound for me a pleasant sound, which probably seems odd to a lot of people. But the sound of a plane landing brings back memories of seeing the Grand Canyon from the air in the day time and seeing New York from the air after dark.

It was really an uneventful day, even though it was an interesting drive to Henderson. I didn’t complain about the cost of the gas, I had to go to Henderson for only one errand and then come back home. I suppose I could have stopped and got coffee or at a grocery store, but I decided that I or rather we (my mother and I) decided that we would wait until Thursday and get coffee when we went to the poetry reading. You know I think there is a poetry reading Friday night as well as Thursday. Well any way that was my interesting and uneventful day.

A Multitude of Ways to Say I Love You

8 Mulk 162 B.E. February 13-14, 2006 A.D.

How To Say I Love You

How do you say I love, there are a thousand different ways. Each language has its own phrase, each culture has its own ways, each religion has love message and each person has special ways. So let us take a moment and say I love you to someone, if your are not sure of the language or the appropriate way then write a greeting from your heart, perform an act of service for the person’s favorite charity, or read a verse from that person’s Holy Book.

There are a thousand different ways to say I love you. So take a moment or two to day and find someone to whom you can say in either actions or words: I love you!

Valentine’s Day Blessing

May the muse of Valentine’s Day,
Give you the phrases to write or say,
May the Divine Essence give you someone
To write, say or send the I love you.

Valentine’s Day Poem

When seen through the eyes of love
The multitude names of God become a single phrase,
When seen through the eyes of the Divine
The difference of humanity become inconsequential
And the three onenesses echo through
The soul of the seeker and the mind of the lover.

Here is a website with the way I love you is said in many different languages: http://www.columbia.edu/~sss31/rainbow/i-love-you.html. Just click on the title to today’s blog and it will take you to this site.

Finding Inspiration

7 Mulk 162 B.E. - February 12-13, 2006 A.D.

Where do I find inspiration? I find inspiration in the world around me, in the sacred writing of all the religions of humanity, in my past and my present. I find inspiration in the way a cat watches out a window. I find inspiration in the way the neighbor’s bobtailed black and white tom walks across my back yard and stops to watch my cats in the screen in back porch. I find inspiration in the morning sun and in the sunset. I find inspiration walking through a hotel going to a restaurant to eat or to see a show. I find inspiration driving down the city street. I find inspiration in the dream I have at night and in the day dreams while looking out a window. I find inspiration in the way the wind blows through an olive or a stone pine tree. I find inspiration in the events of my childhood and in the morning news.

Where do I find inspiration? Last week I found inspiration in the Sunday Devotional service I attended. The music for that service came from Philip Glass’ Symphony #5, that was the first time I heard Mr. Glass’ music. Last week I found inspiration in the feast I attended at the Baha’i Center. During the spiritual portion slides of Mount Carmel were shown while the scriptures were being read and the music was playing. Last week I found inspiration walking the four or five blocks from the parking garage to the Justice Center on Clark. Last week I found inspiration in the prompts sent to my e-mail box by the writing groups I am a member of. Last week I found inspiration in the subject lines of spam e-mails. Last week I found inspiration in the posts of other members of my yahoo writing groups.

Where do I find inspiration? I found inspiration in the Sunday Devotional Service my mother and I held on the back porch. There were only two of us there, so the service consisted of reading and prayers without any music, but I found inspiration anyway. I found inspiration in a quote from the Bhagavad-Gita:

“ The sovereign soul
Of him who lives self-governed and at peace
Is centred in itself, taking alike
Pleasure and pain; heat, cold; glory and shame.”
(Bhagavadgita, translated by Sir Edwin Arnold, page 30).

I found inspiration in a quote from a prayer revealed by Baha’u’llah:

“AS MY TRIBULATIONS MULTIPLIED, so did My love for God and for His Cause increase, in such wise that all that befell Me from the hosts of the wayward was powerless to deter Me from My purpose…” (Call to Remembrance, page 235).

Love An Attribute of God

6 Mulk 162 B.E. - February 11-12, 2006

Looking For The Signs of God

Baha’u’llah tells us that every created thing in the entire universe holds within it one of the attributes of God, while humanity is endowed with all the attributes of God. I wonder how often we look for the signs of the Divine Essence that is in creation. Sometimes it is clear what that attribute is because we can see the splendor or the glory or the beauty in an element of creation. At other times though it is difficult, for one reason or another, to see what which divine attribute is present, but just because we can not see a divine attribute does not mean the attribute is not there.

One of the attributes of God is love; indeed God is love. The universe is the results of God’s love. Humanity was created because of God’s love. The purpose of the individual is to know and love God. The way we love God is through our worship of the Divine Essence and our service to humanity.

The approach of Valentine’s Day has caused me to think a lot about love. On Valentine’s Day we do not often think of God, we think of love but not in its relationship to God. On and around Valentine’s Day we usually think of love in its relationship to another human being. However, the foundation of all love and affection on the Earth and in the universe is the love of God; the love of God for humanity and the love of humanity for the Divine Essence. All other love is a pale shadow of Divine Love.

Coping With My Biggest Struggle

2 Mulk 162 B.E. - February 7 - 8, 2006 A.D.

I cope with my biggest struggle through prayer, meditation and interrupting my own dreams. The prayers I use are those revealed by The Bab and Baha’u’llah and written by ‘Abdu’l-Baha. These prayer cover every contingence in my life, while the feeling I get when reading them is calming. The prayers themselves have a spiritual feeling when read or recited aloud or silently. They speak directly to my soul. There are, of course, a few prayers that are my favorite, but these change over time and with the circumstances in my life. In fact my biggest struggle, while it is always with myself, changes over time as well; maybe that is why my favorite prayers change with time and circumstances.

Lately my biggest struggle is achieving the writing goals I set. Don’t get me wrong, I have improved in keeping those goal, but I am not to the point where I want to be. The prayers I’ve been saying lately are the obligatory prayer (revealed by Baha‘u‘llah, a healing prayer, one (written by ‘Abdu’l-Baha placing everything in God’s hands), the Remover of Difficulties (revealed by the Bab), and a prayer for protection when I leave the house. There is a morning prayer (revealed by Baha’u’llah) with the line “I beseech Thee, … to make of what Thou didst reveal …” (Baha’i Prayers, pages 124-126) that I say before writing in my pen and paper journal about my dreams.

I interpret my own dreams because they are my dreams and I know the symbols in them better than anyone else. While certain dream symbols have traditional or cultural interpretations they also have personal interpretations (at least mine do) and I am the only one who can tell what those symbols mean to me. My dreams (or at least those that stay with me for a long period of time) usually hold something that helps me in my struggle to become my true self. I interpret my own dream in my pen and paper journal so that they can help me achieve my true potential.

In fact I am considering writing down the symbols in my dreams into a personal dream dictionary. In this personal dream dictionary I would write a paragraph or two about the traditional or cultural meaning of the symbol and then write a paragraph about what the symbol means to me. Of course, as I said before lately my biggest struggle has been my writing goals, I seem to get interrupted in the middle or writing or have to leave the house for some reason. I take my pen and paper journal with me, but when I write in it (with the exception of my dreams) the subject is different from what I was writing about on-line or in an entry into the journal I keep on the computer.

Anyway, as I was saying, when I go to interpret my dreams I write the dream or as much of it as I can remember in my pen and paper journal. After that I say a prayer and then I meditate on what the dream might mean. I write down what I think it means in my pep and paper journal. This helps me to determine what the dream and their symbols mean to me.

Knowledge Is Power

17 Sultan 162 B.E. - February 3 - 4, 2006 A.D.

Knowledge Is Power

The exercise about knowledge from the Daily Power Word is to look at knowledge through the eyes of another. How do you look at knowledge through the eyes of another person? This is an intriguing exercise, but I am not sure how to go about doing this. I could read a book to do this or I could use free writing and my inner critic. Now that sounds like an interesting exercise, eventually I will try one of these exercise through the eyes of my inner critic. Today, however, I in much too good a mood to deal with my inner critic. So I will ask some questions and free-write on the question.

What is knowledge? I could answer this question from the dictionary, but instead I am simply going to start out free writing on the subject and see what I discover. First, the title for this piece comes from a phrase quoted in the introduction to the Daily Power Word exercise. Knowledge truly is power, because it reveals to us what we do not know. In fact knowing what one does not know is an important aspect of knowledge. If one is not aware of what he or she does not know then it is difficult to acquire knowledge of any type.

There are several types of knowledge. There is knowledge of ourselves this refers to knowledge of our physical bodies as well as knowledge of our souls (spirits). There is knowledge of technological items, material items, scientific theories and natural processes or laws. There is spiritual knowledge and there is religious knowledge. Then there is the knowledge of God. Usually when we refer to the knowledge of God we are talking about human knowledge about God. However, God has knowledge about humanity and indeed about all of creation. God knows us better than we know ourselves. He, (it is interesting that we humans refer to God as He when God is an unknowable spiritual essence that neither ascends into or out of material existence and does not have gender as we humans know it) God, knows us better than we know ourselves. God knows our limits and is always pushing us to find those limits for ourselves. We humans think we know our limits, but unless we are tested we do not know our limits or even what we are capable of achieving.

What is knowledge of God? We know God through the Prophets or Manifestations (those who reflect the attributes of God to humanity). Religions teach us about God and we learn about God through prayer, meditation upon the sacred writing and by knowing our own selves. Human beings have the ability to reflect all the attributes of God, that one reason we encounter test. Once the mirror of our souls are cleaned of the dust and the dross of material desires they are capable of reflecting the attributes of God to humanity and to the rest of the universe. Tests and difficulties help us to know ourselves and when we learn about ourselves; about the attributes of God within and are capable of reflecting those attributes then we have learned something or gained some knowledge about God. When we know God’s Manifestations, Prophets or Messengers (call the revealers of God which ever of those you want) then we know God. One of the reason an individual human is born into the world of mater is to know, love and worship God. The purpose of humanity in general, of the entire human race, is to carry forward an ever advancing civilization. Without knowledge humanity can not carry on an ever advancing civilization.

Free-Writing

15 Sultan 162 B.E. - February 1 - 2, 2006

NOTE: The following was an exercise in free-writing and was type into a word document in that way. I haven’t rewritten it yet, this is how it was originally written.

Free-Writing

I have discovered free-writing. Free-writing is simply sitting down at a computer or with a pen and journal and beginning to write. You don’t have to have a subject all you have to do is write. In free-writing you don’t have to worry about spelling (with a computer you don’t have to worry about spelling any way, because as long as you spell the word phonetically the computer‘s spell check will assist) you just write. In free-writing you don’t even have to begin with a subject, just start writing. Describe the day, the weather, the way you feel. In free-writing you don’t have to worry about grammar all you have to do is write. In free-writing you can begin with a prompt, or a scripture verse or a thought and then write. In free-writing you don’t have to worry about whether or not what you write makes sense, just write or type as fast as you can. Free-writing is the first draft of a longer piece. Free-writing is finding the part of the subject you want to discuss in an essay. Free-writing can be used to begin a story or a poem. Free-writing is just writing, rambling on and on across the page until you’ve filled the page or you’ve written the subject your working on out. Free-writing is a marvelous exercise, pick a subject and start writing. Free-writing can be timed or it can be done while you are waiting for someone.

There are some rules to free writing. For example when you start to write don’t go back and change what you’ve written. Remember this is a first draft, you are only trying to find a slant on the subject or write out a problem facing you. If you write fast enough and long enough you will find a solution. Free-writing is not procrastination, in fact it can help you over come procrastination by helping you focus on the subject, on the problem, on the situation. Time you free writing get a timer, an egg time and set it for ten, fifteen, twenty, thirty minutes or an hour and then begin to write. You will of course ramble, the mind moves at the speed of thought - that is faster than anyone can type. Remember with free-writing you don’t have to worry about spelling. Free writing is just writing see below for some interesting prompts to free write about.

In the beginning … (we all know where this came from) start each sentence with this phrase and set the timer for about ten or fifteen minutes.

The Origin of the species … (another interesting prompt) don’t worry if what you write has nothing to do with the theory of evolution or any other scientific theory. You are free-writing this has to do with what you think. If you opinion differs from what others think about The Origin of The Species that is alright.

How is that working for you? (thank you Dr. Phil) Start each paragraph with How is that working for you? Then answer the question by free-writing.

One Day My Soul Just Opened Up (thank you Iyanla Vanzant). You see you can use the title of a book or find a poem you like and use the title or a line from the poem to free write on (or is it about).

When you first start free writing start at ten minutes and then work up from there (unless you have more time). Free writing is an exercise to can squeeze into a busy day without much trouble. It doesn’t matter what room you are in or what you are doing when you are free-writing. If you use a pen and paper journal to free write you may want to retype what you’ve written before your hand writing gets cold. (I know when I free write in a pen and paper journal and I let it lay several days, sometimes I can’t read my own cold writing or figure out my creative spelling.) OK, free writing (like almost everything else in life) has its disadvantages.

Contemplating Blog Entries

11 Sultan 162 B.E. - January 28 - 29, 2006 A.D.

I haven’t posted in about a week or so and ideas for today’s entry are flitting in and out of my mind butterflies in a field of clover. One idea to write about is my personal library. I have several book cases full of books, some I’ve read, some I’ve partially read and some I haven’t started yet. I started to read one book this week, it is a book by Iyanla Vanzant called One Day My Soul Just Opened Up. While I was reading the first part of the book, the author mentioned the Baha’i Faith and independent investigation of truth. Anyway this book has questions at the end of about forty of its chapters (they are short chapters) that I can answer either in the book or in my journal. You can carry the book with you and read it any where, but I am not going to do that. Instead I’m reading it a little each morning and evening. The questions and exercises in the book encourage the reader to go into his or her own spiritual cultural background and discover spirituality for herself.

Another idea for this blog entry has to do with the fact that I have absolutely no sense of direction. I’m directionally challenged, in other words I get lost easily. In fact I got lost this last week and not in my car. Usually I get lost when I am driving someplace after dark or even in the day time. This time however I got lost walking. I walked several blocks out of my way and had to turn around and go back. Still haven’t figured that one out, but I wasn’t really watching where I was going. In addition I thought I knew where I was going. OK, maybe that’s how I get lost the most, I think I know where I am going when I really don’t. Getting lost in a car is one thing, in a car you can roll the windows up and lock the doors, but you do have to watch the gas tank. When you get lost in a car there is always the possibility of running out of gas. Getting lost when you are walking is an entirely other matter.

I will say this much for the past week I learned a great deal about myself. One thing that I learned is that I have a tendency to worry about the oddest or weirdest things. What I have worried about this last week was important, but nothing to worry about. I have found that when I need money I usually get enough to tide me over until a job or incoming earning opportunity comes around. There is a prayer in the Baha’i Prayer book about protection from vain imaginings. I am going to say that every day this coming week. That should take care of the worries because, at least from the experience of this last week, my worries appear to be vain imaginings.

The prayers revealed by the Bab, Baha’u’llah and ‘Abdu’l-Baha cover every contingency in a person’s life. Regular prayer does a great deal for me, it helps me focus on what I need to do when it comes to answers to prayers. I especially like reading and reciting the prayers revealed by Baha’u’llah, ‘Abdu’l-Baha and the Bab because there is a spiritual feeling about the prayers themselves that my own prayers don’t have. In addition they calm worrying and scatter negative thoughts (for me a form of vain imaginings). I have favorite prayers by each that I say regularly, but my favorite prayers, with certain exceptions, change according to the events in my life. I think this is all I have for today, so I will post this and get on to other matters.

I Remember When

4 Sultan 162 B.E. - January 21 - 22, 2006

I Remember When

I remember when life was all about pleasing others, and it made me feel like a loser because could never do it right. Then one morning I grew up and found that life was about winning (not sure if this is the word I want here, but that is the word I wrote so that is what I am leaving in this spot). I am not talking about competition between myself and other people. I am talking about developing my own abilities because they contribute to my happiness and the happiness of society. If I do not please myself how can I please someone else and if I am not happy by myself how can I be happy with someone else or even make someone else happy.

I remember when I was growing up and when I was sad reading the bible made me glad. The same thing works today, except instead of the Bible I read the scriptures revealed by Baha’u’llah. I am a spiritual being having a material experience (do not know where I heard this, but it is true). The Baha’i scriptures make me happy when I am sad. I like reading the prayers aloud because my spirit can feel the effect. While I am having a material experience I must develop my own spirituality. I do this through prayer, meditation and reading the sacred writings. By developing my spirit I am winning. This is an interesting and probably unusual way of looking at success.

I have been thinking about success since yesterday (Saturday, January 21). Yesterday I went to a drivers class because I got a ticket in December and had to take the course. One of the things that was brought up by the instructor was that the way American’s drive has to do with their cultural. The main thing about the American (U.S.A.) culture is that we “go for the gold” so to speak. We do this in all aspects of our lives, but when driving it can be dangerous. When we get on the road we take on the persona of “I am going to get to my destination no matter what, because I am a winner.” (OK, so those were not the instructor’s exact words, but you get the idea). So anyway as I was saying or thinking, I need to change the way I look at driving, the way I look at happiness and the way I look at myself (but that is another story for another time).

Now what may you ask has driving to do with developing my spirituality? Well it is this way, when I leave the garage and/or the drive way I say a prayer of protection before I back out. However, saying that prayer does not relieve me of taking responsibility when I drive any more than making being with someone else relieves me of responsibility for my own emotions, my own happiness. So if I am to be happy or help someone else to be happy I need to take responsibility for my own happiness and developing my own spirituality. What I am getting at is I need to redefine my personal definition of winning and success. The test and difficulties I have been going through in the past year have been helping me do part of that, but I need to take a more active role in my personal transformation.

I am a butterfly emerging from my cocoon. However, I a sentient or self-aware butterfly which means I have responsibility in my own transformation. I must actively assist that transformation through prayer, meditation, reading the sacred scriptures, and (apparently in my case) writing. Since each person has different talents and abilities then an active role means something different for each person. Well I guess that is all for today.

Feast of Sovereignty

1 Sultan 162 B.E. - January 18 - 19, 2006 A.D.

Feast of Sultan

I went to the Feast of Sultan (Sovereignty) on the evening of January 18. I always enjoy feast The evening Feast of Sovereignty felt especially spiritual, although all the feast I attend have a spiritual feeling. One of the reading was a dramatic reading of the Hidden Words. We set in rapt silence as the words were read. I’ve always enjoyed the Hidden Words, but the reading at feast give me a new apparition for that particular book.

At the feast I also received a copy of the latest Baha’i calendar. The new calendar has a photo of the Mansion of Bahji. This is a night scene showing the Mansion lit up. The view is absolutely breath taking. I am looking forward to going on pilgrimage and seeing all the building at Mount Carmel and going to Bahji to see the mansion there. When I go I am going to take a pen and paper journal with me. I have never written a travel journal before, this will be my first travel journal.

Reviewing This Blog

17 Sharaf 162 B.E. - January 15 - 16, 2006 A.D.

Most of my post the last week or so were the result of prompts received from yahoo prompt groups. I am looking for interesting blogs to review in the up coming months. I have looked at other blogs, but so far nothing has aroused my curiosity. Maybe it is just the shortness of the day and lack of sun. I seem to be in a low, I am not really depressed ... I am not sure what the problem is. (I don't think I'm supposed to end a sentence with is.)

Lately this blog seems to be more of a personal diary then anything else, but I want it to be more. The idea when I started was to write my journey of transformation, about becoming my true self. I know that sounds like a personal diary. However, becoming one's true self takes in all aspect of a person's life. This blog has changed a bit since I started it. I am rambling again. There is a lot I want to include in this blog from my own writing to reviews of books, blogs and websites.

Once Upon A Time

15 Sharaf 162 B.E. - January 13 - 14, 2006 A.D.

Once upon a time, I ....

Once upon a time, I began a blog. It is a blog about faith, writing and a butterfly leaving its pupa case. I keep that blog and attempt to write in it each day. I have changed since beginning the blog, my writing has progress and the blog has changed a bit. I am becoming less self conscious about posting an entry. There are still things I need to work on and I still have a tendency toward procrastination. I am becoming more adventurous and out going. Maybe that has to do with getting older, but it also has a lot to do with learning about myself.

Once upon a time, I wrote a sentence without thinking about what I was going to say. I just set down at the computer and began to type. I did not worry about spelling (of course with a computer spelling is not problem because the word processor I use underlines the misspelled words or at least those it thinks are misspelled in red). I can write without worrying about the spelling. Of course with free writing there are things I still have to work on. I have a tendency to back space when I misspell a word. I have cut down on my going back and rewriting but not completely.

Once upon a time, I wrote a paragraph without stopping to read back what I had written this is quite an achievement and I am not bragging there. I found that I can not type fast enough to get down everything I want to say. Maybe someday someone with come up with a machine or something that enters your blog entries, your journal entries at the speed of thought. I still want to go back and change even in the paragraph and sentence I have just written I want to change something, but I am not going to. In fact my fingers are getting tired and I am going to stop typing now.

NOTE: I am attempting to take the prompts I get in a different direction than is obvious. I don't know how well I am succeeding at this point, but we'll see how I do.

Paraskevidekatriaphobia

14 Sharaf 162 B.E. - January 12 - 13, 2006 A.D.

NOTE: Today is one of two Friday the 13ths in 2006. Traditionally Friday the 13th is considered bad luck. I have used this subject as posts in some of the groups I usually post items to, so I am posting all of those in this piece today. If you click on the title of this entry it will take you to another article about Friday the 13th.

Fridays Are

Fridays are Istiqlal (Independence).

Friday’s Prayer

Beloved,
Make me independent of all things save You.
Brining into my life today the beauty of Your love.
Protect me from negative thoughts that draw negative results.

Fridays are the days people tend to be in a better mood.

Fear of Friday the 13th is Paraskevidekatriaphobia. It does not mean bad things. Interesting information about why Friday the 13th is unlucky. (1) Friday was the day Christ was Crucified, (2) There were 13 people at the Last Supper, and (3) every news program on T.V. today has an article about Friday the 13th. Website for Friday the 13th information http://urbanlegends.about.com/cs/historical/a/friday_the_13th.htm.

What’s On Your Mind Jan. 13, 2006

What’s on my mind today is Friday the 13th, Paraskevidekatriaphobia is fear of Friday the 13th. There are two reasons I’m thinking about this subject: (1) it is Friday the 13th and (2) on the news this morning they were discussing the word Paraskevidekatriaphobia. The upshot of the discussion was that they weren’t afraid of Friday the 13th itself, but the word was a different story. The question ask was: “Is there a word for the fear of the word Paraskevidekatriaphobia?

I found the following website with an interesting article on Friday the 13th http://urbanlegends.about.com/cs/historical/a/friday_the_13th.htm.

For those who have Paraskevidekatriaphobia 2006 has two Friday the 13ths.

Now that I’ve gotten that over with, let me go on. My take on this is simply that Friday the 13th isn’t any unluckier or luckier than any other day of the year. If one is afraid of that day, then I would suggest calling into work well or sick or whatever depending on the sense of humor of your boss. I drive in Las Vegas almost every day and the traffic here is interesting to say the least. We get the worst and the best drivers from all over the country and the world. When I get in the car to drive I will not do any different from any other day I drive. After I get into the car I will say a prayer of protection before getting onto the city’s streets.

Paraskevidekatriaphobia

Paraskevidekatriaphobia is the fear of Friday the 13th. I suppose if you are going to have a word for this fear that is as good or better than any. If one isn’t afraid of Friday the 13th itself, the word Paraskevidekatriaphobia will give one fear of the word. Is there a word for fear of a word? (Please note that isn’t my own question, it was asked on the 5 a.m. news when they were discussing the word Paraskevidekatriaphobia.)

Anyway this has gotten me to thinking about superstitions. If you look in a thesaurus for words to replace superstition two of the words you find is false notion (OK, this is two words, but you get the idea) and fallacy. I have found, in my own life, that superstition sometimes results from negative thinking. If you expect something bad to happen something bad happens.

For those who do have Paraskevidekatriaphobia, then consider this. 13 is the numbers 1 and 3. The root number of 13 is 4 the numbers 1 + 3 = 4. So if 13 is unlucky then why isn’t its components and its root number considered unlucky?

Root Number: There are 9 root numbers and those are 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9. Any group of numbers added together will result in one of those 9 numbers.

No, I am not a mathematician; I simply have a reservoir of unusual and intriguing knowledge that will do me good only on a game show or in a novel.

So Far This Week

13 Sharaf 162 B.E. - January 11 - 12, 2006 A.D.

So far this week the various colors of dawn have been breath taking. The dawn color has ranged from light pink to deep red. In fact there are colors of red in the morning sky that are hard to name. The advantage of getting up before the sun is seeing the sun rise. Las Vegas is nestled in the Rocky Mountains. The whole range of mountains around Las Vegas is call the Muddy Mountains. There is the Spring Mountains and others I can not name. Truth is most of the time the names of the mountains do not seem all that important.

So far this week one Hotel Casino has been imploded. That was the Castaways on Boulder Highway. The Castaways or the Old Show Boat has stood next to Boulder Highway for a long time. We watched the implosion on T.V. It was beautiful. It may seem odd to say the destruction of a building was beautiful, but it was a clear and still day. The dust from the building rose slowly into the air and floated through the neighborhood closest to the Castaways. No one was allowed too close so the best view of the destruction was through the lens of a T.V. camera. An intriguing side note to this: Planes coming into the airport used the Show Boat (Castaways) as a land mark - it was call the Show Boat approach.

My Muse

11 Sharaf 162 B.E. - January 9 - 10, 2006 A.D.

My Muse

My muse has many names because my muse is the Divine Essence and the Divine Essence has many names. My muse appears to me in every aspect of life, calls to me from all the Sacred Scriptures of humanity. Speaks to me from the poems, stories and essays of the past and the present. My muse is the sun rising above snow capped peaks. My muse is incense ascending into the still morning air. My muse is wind chimes and voices calling from the minarets. My muse is church bell on a clear Sunday morning. My muse is a jazz song on the radio. My muse is a wolf calling through the forest or across the arctic tundra. My muse is in the food I eat and the air I breath. My muse is the fragrance of a rose or the rose’s throne pricking my finger and drawing blood. My muse is in the genetic code of humanity, that unites the people of earth into a single species. My muse is in the golden rule common to all religions, restated by the founder of every religious faith. My muse is Baha’u’llah, The Bab, Muhammad, Christ, Buddha, Moses Krishna, Zoroaster, and Adam.

Sundays Are

9 Sharaf 162 B.E. - January 8 - 9, 2006 A.D.

Sundays Are

Sundays are the days of Jamal (Beauty). The day that I wake up and realize how beautiful the world is and can be. This is the day of beginnings when the week starts off on a new foot. The day of new births when the door to the future, to the coming week, opens. Sundays are when the week and the planet celebrates its birth day.

Sundays are the days when ending become beginnings. Life moves forward each day merges into the next, each week into the next. There is never any ending or beginning only passages through corridors, doors, garden paths. Life is eternal, each new day brings something new and something old into the life of the individual.

Sundays are the days when we devote to God and the family. Humanity is a single family generated through the love of God. God is a single divine essence with many names.

Sundays are the days of resurrection and of creation. These are the days when many of us can sleep late. Even if we can not sleep late and must go to work we can still worship God through our work because Work done with a joyous attitude is worship of God.

Gratitudes

6 Sharaf 162 B.E. - January 4 - 5, 2006 A.D.

NOTE: This is from a prompt from the Sterling Quill yahoo group. Write about five things you are grateful for today.

Gratitudes

How can I choose just five thing I am grateful for today. The world is full of blessing, God is very generous. (1) I am grateful for the cloud obscured January dawn. If the clouds did decorate the eastern horizon a January dawn would not be as beautiful. (2) I am grateful for the website Belief.net, because it has the scriptures of all religions. It educates the world by giving access the sacred scriptures of humanity to the whole Earth. (3) I am grateful for the prayers revealed by Baha’u’llah, because without them my world would be constrained and I would not attempt to write anything. (4) I am grateful for being born on the planet Earth and in the Milky Way galaxy. Because if I was born anyplace else in the Universe I would be a different person. (5) I am grateful for the test and difficulties I face, because they strengthen my soul and prepare it for flight in paradise.

Differences

5 Sharaf 162 B.E. - January 3 - 4, 2006 A.D.

NOTE: This is a prompt from the yahoo prompt group Sterling Quill: Over the past year, what kind of changes have you noticed in yourself?

Differences

Beloved,

I see the differences in me,
fall awestruck because of your love and tests.

Two years of tests and difficulties
have brought changes,
have transformed the lead of my doubt
into the gold of faith.

The voice of my ego,
my inner critic,
my doubt,
my fear
still echoes through my mind,
but the assurance of Your presence,
of Your love
confirms and strengthens my soul

I am Yours
to do with as You will.

Forgive me
the moments that arise
when past terrors fill my mind,
when future horrors overshadows
Your promises
that I will overcome.

My Biggest Struggle

4 Sharaf 162 B.E. - January 2 - 3, 2006 A.D.

NOTE: This prompt is from the yahoo group Journal Writing. What is the biggest struggle you are facing, write about how you have been coping with that struggle.

My Biggest Struggle

My biggest struggle is against myself. Against the negative voice of my ego’s fear to succeed and submit to the will of God. It is this voice that prevents me from achieving my full potential both spiritually and materially. I find that focusing on Baha’u’llah and the sacred scriptures He and The Bab revealed helps. However, I have learned not to procrastinate chanting and meditating on The Most Great Name. This I need to do of a morning, rather than waiting until afternoon or evening. In addition I need to take The Bab’s admonition and focus on the power of the Lord rather than my own limitations. The struggle goes on, the truth is the struggle never ends. There are periods when I have “passed a test” (so to speak) that there is a respite, but then something else comes up and I find myself faced with another part of the struggle. Somewhere in one of the scriptures it says (paraphrased) that God does not test the soul beyond its capabilities. So I will continue to struggle, pray and meditate and eventually I, with the help of the Lord, I will overcome.

First Day of 2006

2 Sharaf 162 B.E. - December 31, 2005 A.D. - January 1, 2006 A.D.

For much of the world today is a new beginning, but not for everyone. January 1 is not the new year's day I celebrate; I celebrate Naw-Ruz which falls in March. Naw-Ruz is the first day of spring when the sun passes the vernal equinox. Naw-Ruz is the day Baha'u'llah confirmed as the first day of year, so Naw-Ruz is the day I celebrate as the New Year.

I did not stay up late last night, instead I went to bed at about my normal time. My normal bed time is somewhere between 9:00 p.m. and 1:00 a.m. Last night I went to bed at about 10:00 p.m. Just because I do not celebrate January 1 as New Years day does not mean that there are certain customs from my childhood that I do not commemorate. One January 1 custom I always remember is eating Black-Eyed Peas. I eat Black-Eyed Peas in memory of my Grandmother. My Grandma Newland always made Black-Eyed Peas on January 1 so today I will open a can of Black-Eyed Peas and have them with my hamburger or whatever else I decide to have for lunch.

When my Grandma made Black-Eyed Peas she did one of two things. She either made Black-Eyed Peas from scratch or opened a can. When Grandma made Black-Eyed Peas from scratch she got the dry peas about two or three days before and put them to soak on December 31. After the peas had soaked over night and the next morning she began cooking them with a slice of bacon and salt and pepper.

Last Day of 2005 A.D.

1 Sharaf 162 B.E. - December 30 - 31, 2005 A.D.

In the swift passing of a single year many things happen both good and bad. When something bad happens, people sometimes forget the good things that happened. I sometimes think that one needs to list the good things that happen during the year. I suspect that more good things happen than bad things, but we often forget the good in reviewing the bad. 2006 is almost here and many people will be making resolutions and setting goals. In setting those goals and making the resolutions we need to remember the good of the past year.

I have found that no matter what difficulty on is facing there is always something good either happening or on the verge of happening. We need to look for the good, not only the good events that occur every day, but the good in other people as well. If we look for the good we may just find that more is coming into our lives.

Faith Book Update

17 Masa'il 162 B.E. - December 27 - 28, 2005 A.D.

I am dividing my faith book into 19+, the section will be titled using the Baha'i Months, Ayyam-i-Ha and an Introduction titled The Baha'i Year or something like that. The cover of the faith book is a 9 pointed star. In each section I will place poems and experiences relating to that Feast/Month I have written, the Holy Days celebrated during the month with poems/essays and photo that relate to the Feast, Month, or Experience. Right now the beginnings of my faithbook are on my writing.com web site. I do not have any photos yet, but I think the first photo I will put in the book is a photo of the Baha'i Center in Las Vegas, I'll have to find that photo.

Writing A Blog

17 Masa'il 162 B.E. December 27-28, 2005 A.D.

Writing a blog is some times difficult especially when it comes to topics to write about. There are time when I can think of all sorts of things to write about and other times I am blank. A new year is coming up and my faith is becoming stronger. That would be a good topic the way faith is strengthened. Another topic good topic is prayer or my favorite scripture verses. When it comes to my favorite scripture verses they change over time and according to what is happening in my life. This is going to be a rambling entry. Walking all over the place and getting no where, running in circle out of breath. Driving in circles - which brings me to the fact that I have no sense of direction.

I can find my way in Las Vegas. That is because there are land marks (and I am not talking about a casino) that I can see from almost any place in town. No matter where I am if I can see at least one of my land marks I can find my way around. The problem comes in when it gets dark. Some of the land marks I use when I drive can only be seen in the day time. Getting lost in the dark is an adventure. The problem with getting lost after dark here is the lack of stars. The city is so bright that you can not see the stars. If I could find the Big Dipper and the North Star I might be able to find my way around this city. Well I thank I have rambled on long enough for tonight.

Remembering Christmas

14 Masa'il 162 B.E. - December 24-25, 2005 A.D.

I do not celebrate Christmas, but every year at this time the memory of the way my Grandparents celebrated the holiday comes back to me. For my Grandparents Christmas was not just a holiday, it was a Holy Day a time to celebrate the birth of Christ and to tell the Christmas story and to play Christmas music.

My Grandmother begin to preparations for Christmas the day after Thanksgiving. On that day she got out the Christmas Tree decorations, set the box in the corner of the living room and then on Saturday we would go with my Grandfather to get a Christmas Tree. Then on the Sunday after Thanksgiving we would decorate the Christmas Tree and the Christmas Tree would set in front of the living room window. On top of my Grandparent's Christmas Tree a star and not an angel.

My Grandparents bought a live Christmas Tree for several years while we were growing up. Finally though they got an artificial Christmas Tree, it was a silver tree. Even after they bought the artificial tree, my Grandmother would still get out the box of Christmas Tree decorations and we would decorate the tree on the Sunday after Thanksgiving.

After the tree was decorated my Grandparents would play Christmas music. The Christmas records were always played in December and the Christmas Tree would stay up all of December. The day after the first of January the tree would come down, the box of Christmas decorations would be packed away and the records of Christmas music would be put away.

Another Birthday

13 Masa'il 162 B.E. December 23 - 24, 2005 A.D.

Well another birthday is here, I am another year older and wiser (although I am not sure that wisdom and age necessarily go together). I checked on my profile today, just to make sure everything was the way I want it, and noticed that where I put my birthday and year in the note to the side informed me that the year could be left blank. I, of course, did not remove the year, because it really does not matter if people know precisely how old I am or not - age is relative. A person can appear and act either older or younger then their chronological age. A person can feel either older or younger than they really are, so age is relative.

Modern society puts too much emphasis on age. Do not get me wrong a person should do every thing he or she can to keep themselves looking and feeling as good as possible. However, the that must be done because it makes the individual feel good and not because of any pressure from society or any other individual. We forget that senior citizens have a great deal of knowledge accumulated over their life time. This knowledge not only should be preserved, but it should be sought by the younger people.

Senior citizens have lived through historic events that we only read about in history book. My mother is in her 90s, she lived through the Great Depression and World War II. I remember Viet Nam and the Free Love/Flower Child years. Both my mother and I saw the first man set foot on the Moon. We saw the Berlin Wall come down and remember events of the Cold War. The young people alive today will see World Peace. What I am trying to say is preserve the memories, the events happening in the world today will not happen again. These are historic time and the children of the future will want to know about them. So we need to keep the first hand accounts of them - someone said To forget history is to repeat it, so let us not forget it, to forget the mistakes of history is to repeat those mistakes.

A Turning Point

8 Masa'il 162 B.E. December 18 - 19, 2005 A.D.

I have a birthday coming up on December 24. This year was a turning point in my life. I have learned a lot about myself and I am trusting more in God everyday. I am becoming a more positive person. I am developing my talents.

There are about two or three things in my life that give me joy. The main thing in my life that gives me joy is knowing Baha'u'llah. I became a Baha'i in the mid or late 1970s, I said the prayers He revealed and read scriptures, but until this year I never thought about how much joy I received from the sacred writings. I never thought about the joy of knowing Baha'u'llah. This year I have been going over the reasons I became a Baha'i and the reasons I stayed a Baha'i.

In writing this blog I have not been deciding ahead of time what to write. I just written whatever came into my head at the time I sit down to write. I will probably continue doing it that way most of the time, but I am going to try writing and editing one or two or three entries a head each month and cutting and pasting them into the blog and see how that works.

A Vacation Photo

This is the new photo I am placing in my portfolio. This photo was taken the last time I was at Disney Land. Since I have a birthday coming up soon, I decided to up date the photo. This is not a recent photo, maybe on my next birthday.

A Blog For Cats

5 Masa'il 162 B.E. December 15 - 16, 2005 A.D.

Today I am writing about the sweetest blog I have come across in a long time. The name of the blog is The Daily Kitten, this blog has a new kitten picture on it everyday. The kitten picture is posted at 3:07 p.m. The website address is http://www.dailykitten.com/.

The picture for December 16 is one of a kitten called Grover. Grover is a 12 week old Chocolate Bumilla, he is a beautiful kitten. This is the first time I have heard of a Chocolate Bumilla, so this website is educational. This is a website that parents can let their children access or cat people can let their cats access without any problems. I have book marked The Daily Kitten, in order to access it everyday. Please take a look at it.

Memorial Service

3 Masa'il 162 B.E. December 13 - 14, 2005 A.D.

I went to a memorial (funeral) service on the 12th of December. I say memorial service because it was a true celebration of the woman's life. She had picked out the scriptures that were read at the service herself, in addition combined both the religious heritage she was raised in and the Baha'i Faith she accepted as an adult. The casket was closed and the photo beside the casket were pictures of important points in her life. Photos of the lady with friends and family, of her as a child. It was a true celebration of her life and no a mourning service. She had ascended into the next world, into paradise the memorial service was for her friends and family to remember her.

Feast of Questions

1 Masa'il 162 B.E. December 11 - 12, 2005 A.D.

Masa'il (Questions) is one of the attributes of God, it is also the name of one of the Baha'i months. One Baha'u'llah's teaching is the independent search for truth. Each person is expected to search for truth independently and determine truth for themselves. One can ask other their opinion on something, but when it comes down to deciding what is true then the individual is responsible for determining what it is themselves.

Until I became a Baha'i I never thought much about questions being one of God's attributes. I always knew that what ever my questions were somewhere God had answered those questions even before I ask them. However, I never thought much about the questions God ask. In fact until recently I never thought a lot about the questions God ask me. I go to the scriptures for the answers to the question I have, but I never looked really closely at the questions God ask me.

Lately I have been looking closely at those questions. Maybe it is because I have a birthday coming up soon. My birthday is on 13 Masa'il (December 24). Of course there are the usual question that God ask of every one. These questions are (1) Are you living your life in a way that other's see your faith? (2) Are you bringing yourself to account each day? And changing what you can. (3) Are you making today better then yesterday? Then there are individual question, I think God ask each person individual questions that apply to that person and no one else. I will not go into those questions right now. First I need to make the list.

Faith Book

19 Qawl 162 B.E. December 10 - 11, 2005 A.D.

I have began my Faith Book, it is on my writing.com webpage under the Mystic Writings folder. At this point I have only one entry in it. The first entry is the Baha'i Months, Week Days and Holy Days. The book will contain my spiritual and religious experience, both those I remember and those that are occuring now. I am not sure yet what the next entry will be. I do know that I want to include entries about each feast. There are other things I want to inclue in it as will, but I have not decided precisely what yet. There will be pictures in this book as well as written articles about my experiences. Anyone who wants to see my portfolio can click on the title of this entry.

Season Of Peace

17 Qawl 162 B.E. December 8 - 9, 2005 A.D.

In the twenty-firsts century peace can have no season, otherwise humanity will destroy itself and the planet. This century must be both the century and the season of peace. The individual must strive to overcome personal prejudices so that peace is in the heart and the mind at all time. Peace must start at the grass roots level with the individual. Then spread outward from there. Peace on earth is more than simply political treaties or agreements. Peace on earth is an individual commitment to go beyond the wall of one’s fears and learned prejudices.

We look at the world today and think that peace is not possible, but we are viewing the world from a distorted reality. We are viewing the planet while standing on its surface. We need to look beyond the present crises and see the world as it is view from orbit. When earth is seen from orbit there are no national boundaries or religious demarcation lines. The only boundaries seen from space are natural boundaries: mountains, oceans, seas and rivers. When viewed for orbit earth is a single country and humanity a single race.

NOTE: This was written a couple of days ago as a results of a prompt from one of my writing groups. I do not think this article is finish yet so I will expand it. This was written in about ten minutes (that is the minimum writing time on that prompt group).

Decembers Remembered

14 Qawl 162 B.E. December 5 - 6, 2005 A.D.

December is here and my birthday is on the 24th. Yes, I was born the day before Christamas. Normally when someone ask me about my birthday, I tell them that I was my mother's Christmas present. This year, 2005, has brought about a lot of changes in my life and a lot of soul searching. This time of year the memories of past December's have come to the surface of my mind.

My Grandmother put up a Christmas Tree every year. When we were small it was a live tree, but as we grew up the tree became an artifical tree. My Grandmother never put up the Christmas tree before Thanksgiving. The day after Thanksgiving the tree usually went up and we began decorating it.

What I find most intriguing about Christmas this year is the lights on the houses. I do not remember lights on houses when I was small. There were lights in window and inside houses on the trees, but I do not think there were lights on the outside, at least I never saw any in the town we lived in (which does not mean there were not light, I just never saw them).

Any way back to the memories. My Grandmother enjoyed cooking. So every year she would start several days before Christmas and New Years baking pies. She always fixed a turkey for Christmas and do a lot of cooking. Then on Christmas we would have in family and friends. We never had very much left over Turkey on Thanksgiving or Christmas.

Another thing my Grandmother did was start several days before New Year's Day and clean the house. There was only a certain amount of work allowed on New Year's Day because my Grandmother said: "What you do on New Year's Day, you will be doing the rest of the year." The only work allow on New Year's Day was necessary chores, such as making the bed (because if we left the bed unmade on New Year's Day it would go unmade the rest of the year). Another necessary chore was the dishes, for my Grandmother the washing the dishes was a part of doing the cooking (besides if the dishes remained unwashed on New Year's Day ... well you know the rest of the story). Laundry did not get done on new year's day, if it was not done by December 31 at midnight it had to wait until January 2 at 12:01 to get done.

I Did It

12 Qawl, 162 B.E. December 3 - 4, 2005 A.D.

I complete the 50,000 word novel,with the working title of Scavenger, now all I have to do it edit it. I am contemplating renaming this novel.

I have started composing a collection of my poem titled The History of the Divine Feminine.

I am also working on eithe a novel or a novella with the working title of The Story of Earth's Desire.

Think that is all for today.