The Butterfly Emerges

7 Masa'il 164 B.E. - Tuesday, December 18, 2007 about 2:21 PM PST

All right this is fall and not the time of year when butterflies normally emerge from their cocoon. However, I'm coming out of my pupa case, I'm slowing becoming my true self, the person I'm meant to be.

For nine months, from March 12 to November 12, I was under so much stress I felt like I was giving birth. The stress hasn't entirely left, but I feel different. I feel more optimistic, I have more faith and I feel better about the decisions I've made in the past.

I still need to work on certain things. I still have a tendency to focus on the roadblocks placed in front of me instead of the path around them. However, I've found that whenever I push at (what I consider a roadblock) it either disappears all together or shrinks to a manageable size.

Everything in my life seems to being working out slowly. Sometimes I put a situation in Baha'u'llah's hands and then I attempt to take it back by worrying about it. However, thinking about the past few months and the blessing that Baha'u'llah has bestowed, I find that the things I worried about were taken care of and my prayers answered. Sometimes my prayers weren't answered in the way I thought they would be, but they were answered.

I've found I have a tendency to think a prayer isn't answered unless its answered the way I want it answered. This is a very selfish attitude and not in line with reality. Prayers are always answered. Sometimes they're answered with a yes, sometimes with a no, sometimes with a wait and usually in an unexpected way. So from now on I'm going to look for the answer rather then just presuming the answer is no.