I am attempting to be upbeat and positive

Istiqlál (Independence), 1 Jalal (Glory), 166 BE – Thursday, April 9, 2009 about 11:25 AM Pacific Time

Jalal began on the evening of April 8 about sunset. It's a new month and a new nineteen-day period of goal achievement and transformation. I relate all events in my life to the process of spiritual transformation. I'm not sure how I'm doing in that process because sometimes I think I'm making progress and at other times I'm not sure what progress I'm making.

Today, I'm not sure how I'm doing in the process. The one thing I'm sure about is that Jalal appears to be an eventful month. Between now and 9 Jalal (April 17), I have to do research on macular degeneration and then discuss it with Mom. Mom's got a appointment with a retinal specialist to consult of methods of treatment.

Mom is a bit hard of hearing, so before we see the doctor I need to discuss any questions she wants answered. I'm attempting to be upbeat about this entire process and stay positive. Sometimes I just want to sit down and cry, but Mom's going to ask why and I don't want her getting depressed. It's easier for doctors to work with patients who are in a positive or hopeful mood.

Between now and the 17th we will say the Long Healing Prayer every day. Mom likes to hear me say that prayer aloud and after I say it, Mom is always in a hopeful mood. Mom still has to know all the treatments for macular degeneration and the prognoses, perhaps I'll just discuss enough of it with her to find out what questions she wants to ask the doctor and then let the doctor discuss everything else.