X-The Unknown

17 Qawl 163 B.E. - December 8, 2006 at 11:19:38 PM PST

There used to be a T.V. show that talked about the Unknown and referred to it as X. I’m not sure, but I think the T.V. show was the Twilight Zone. Of course, that was a long time ago, I was younger than and I could have my T.V. shows confused. Anyway, this entry isn’t about the Twilight Zone (although that was one of my favorite shows). What the entry is about is how little we know about ourselves and about the universe around us.

All the great spiritual leaders and prophets of the past and the present tell us to learn about ourselves. Encourage us to know ourselves. Yet how many of us take those words to heart and seek to learn about what makes us tick. Knowledge of self is scary. If we know ourselves, we know why we do the things we do, we know why we don’t do the things we should do, we learn about our authentic selves. If we know ourselves, we have to make changes to bring ourselves into alignment with our authentic selves.

I’m attempting to learn about myself. To learn what divine attributes I need to develop. It’s difficult to overcome fear of knowledge. However, it is possible with work. In learning about myself, I’ve found myself doing some extremely interesting things lately. For instance, today I threw caution to the wind (which was a bit difficult since the wind wasn’t blowing at the time) and went to Starbuck. My mother and I got a coffee, just a regular coffee not the fancy kind with chocolate or peppermint in it, and snowman cookies. We sit in the shop, eat our cookies, and drink our coffee. I didn’t worry about how much it was costing or, the fact, that I could probably use the money for gas.

That’s not the only intriguing thing I’ve done lately. A couple of days ago, when we went to Wal-Mart, in addition to the wet cat food (for the cats), the butter and non-dairy whipped topping, I bought a box of crayons. I bought the box of fancy crayons, the kind with 96 different colors and a built in sharpener. Now, one may ask, what is a 59 almost 60-year-old woman going to do with a box of crayons? I’m going to color pictures, of course.

No, I’m not going through my second childhood. At the moment, I’m irritating my inner critic and fighting a case of writer’s block. True I have written some stuff lately, class assignments for my Masters’ course, but not a lot of poetry or new stories. What I’m trying to do is get out of my box, out of my rut and heal my inner child of some old fears. I am having fun learning about myself and giving my muse something to write about.