Thankful Thursday: Gratitude and Living in the Present

Istijlal (Majesty), 2 Qudrat (Power), 172 BE - Thursday, November 5, 2015 about 9:30 AM Pacific Standard Time

“The more you are grateful for what you have the more you can live fully in the present."
Dana Arcuri

I admit that sometimes I have difficulty living in the present, especially when I am under stress. I also difficulty finding things to be thankful for that during times of stress. For some reason I have been under stress lately and I am not sure why. Perhaps it is just that I am so use to stress that I find things to worry about when there is nothing present. Another reason could be that I do not eat properly. However, I think the main reason is that I am lonely.

I have lived by myself for almost three years now and I do not like it. I have put on a brave face of liking, but the truth is I do not like living by myself. I do not like being responsible for all the housework. I do not like being responsible for all the bills. I do not like having no one to talk to but myself and my pet rocks. I am tired of living by myself.

This epiphany has been sneaking up on me for several weeks, but today it hit me like an egg in my face. This morning, after I got up, I meditated and then I wrote a journal entry about the experience. After that I got on with my day by eating breakfast and then reviewing a couple of items on writing.com. The more work I did the more I thought about how I felt being alone and I came to realize that despite what I have attempted to tell myself I do not like living alone.

I am going to take care of this. I have a housemate moving in with me this week. I have waited for my sister to move in with me for a few months now, but she has not. I hope she will eventually move in, but I am not going to wait on her any more. I would not have accepted a housemate if a friend did not have to move out of her apartment. She ask it she could move into my two bedroom apartment and I said yes.

I feel better knowing she is moving in. I am grateful to her for asking. I do not know what is going to happen in the near future. I do not know when or even if my sister will move in with me. I only know that I have to live in the present and not the past or the future. I now have someone help with the housework and other things necessary in keeping myself living in the present.