Contemplating Blog Entries

11 Sultan 162 B.E. - January 28 - 29, 2006 A.D.

I haven’t posted in about a week or so and ideas for today’s entry are flitting in and out of my mind butterflies in a field of clover. One idea to write about is my personal library. I have several book cases full of books, some I’ve read, some I’ve partially read and some I haven’t started yet. I started to read one book this week, it is a book by Iyanla Vanzant called One Day My Soul Just Opened Up. While I was reading the first part of the book, the author mentioned the Baha’i Faith and independent investigation of truth. Anyway this book has questions at the end of about forty of its chapters (they are short chapters) that I can answer either in the book or in my journal. You can carry the book with you and read it any where, but I am not going to do that. Instead I’m reading it a little each morning and evening. The questions and exercises in the book encourage the reader to go into his or her own spiritual cultural background and discover spirituality for herself.

Another idea for this blog entry has to do with the fact that I have absolutely no sense of direction. I’m directionally challenged, in other words I get lost easily. In fact I got lost this last week and not in my car. Usually I get lost when I am driving someplace after dark or even in the day time. This time however I got lost walking. I walked several blocks out of my way and had to turn around and go back. Still haven’t figured that one out, but I wasn’t really watching where I was going. In addition I thought I knew where I was going. OK, maybe that’s how I get lost the most, I think I know where I am going when I really don’t. Getting lost in a car is one thing, in a car you can roll the windows up and lock the doors, but you do have to watch the gas tank. When you get lost in a car there is always the possibility of running out of gas. Getting lost when you are walking is an entirely other matter.

I will say this much for the past week I learned a great deal about myself. One thing that I learned is that I have a tendency to worry about the oddest or weirdest things. What I have worried about this last week was important, but nothing to worry about. I have found that when I need money I usually get enough to tide me over until a job or incoming earning opportunity comes around. There is a prayer in the Baha’i Prayer book about protection from vain imaginings. I am going to say that every day this coming week. That should take care of the worries because, at least from the experience of this last week, my worries appear to be vain imaginings.

The prayers revealed by the Bab, Baha’u’llah and ‘Abdu’l-Baha cover every contingency in a person’s life. Regular prayer does a great deal for me, it helps me focus on what I need to do when it comes to answers to prayers. I especially like reading and reciting the prayers revealed by Baha’u’llah, ‘Abdu’l-Baha and the Bab because there is a spiritual feeling about the prayers themselves that my own prayers don’t have. In addition they calm worrying and scatter negative thoughts (for me a form of vain imaginings). I have favorite prayers by each that I say regularly, but my favorite prayers, with certain exceptions, change according to the events in my life. I think this is all I have for today, so I will post this and get on to other matters.

I Remember When

4 Sultan 162 B.E. - January 21 - 22, 2006

I Remember When

I remember when life was all about pleasing others, and it made me feel like a loser because could never do it right. Then one morning I grew up and found that life was about winning (not sure if this is the word I want here, but that is the word I wrote so that is what I am leaving in this spot). I am not talking about competition between myself and other people. I am talking about developing my own abilities because they contribute to my happiness and the happiness of society. If I do not please myself how can I please someone else and if I am not happy by myself how can I be happy with someone else or even make someone else happy.

I remember when I was growing up and when I was sad reading the bible made me glad. The same thing works today, except instead of the Bible I read the scriptures revealed by Baha’u’llah. I am a spiritual being having a material experience (do not know where I heard this, but it is true). The Baha’i scriptures make me happy when I am sad. I like reading the prayers aloud because my spirit can feel the effect. While I am having a material experience I must develop my own spirituality. I do this through prayer, meditation and reading the sacred writings. By developing my spirit I am winning. This is an interesting and probably unusual way of looking at success.

I have been thinking about success since yesterday (Saturday, January 21). Yesterday I went to a drivers class because I got a ticket in December and had to take the course. One of the things that was brought up by the instructor was that the way American’s drive has to do with their cultural. The main thing about the American (U.S.A.) culture is that we “go for the gold” so to speak. We do this in all aspects of our lives, but when driving it can be dangerous. When we get on the road we take on the persona of “I am going to get to my destination no matter what, because I am a winner.” (OK, so those were not the instructor’s exact words, but you get the idea). So anyway as I was saying or thinking, I need to change the way I look at driving, the way I look at happiness and the way I look at myself (but that is another story for another time).

Now what may you ask has driving to do with developing my spirituality? Well it is this way, when I leave the garage and/or the drive way I say a prayer of protection before I back out. However, saying that prayer does not relieve me of taking responsibility when I drive any more than making being with someone else relieves me of responsibility for my own emotions, my own happiness. So if I am to be happy or help someone else to be happy I need to take responsibility for my own happiness and developing my own spirituality. What I am getting at is I need to redefine my personal definition of winning and success. The test and difficulties I have been going through in the past year have been helping me do part of that, but I need to take a more active role in my personal transformation.

I am a butterfly emerging from my cocoon. However, I a sentient or self-aware butterfly which means I have responsibility in my own transformation. I must actively assist that transformation through prayer, meditation, reading the sacred scriptures, and (apparently in my case) writing. Since each person has different talents and abilities then an active role means something different for each person. Well I guess that is all for today.

Feast of Sovereignty

1 Sultan 162 B.E. - January 18 - 19, 2006 A.D.

Feast of Sultan

I went to the Feast of Sultan (Sovereignty) on the evening of January 18. I always enjoy feast The evening Feast of Sovereignty felt especially spiritual, although all the feast I attend have a spiritual feeling. One of the reading was a dramatic reading of the Hidden Words. We set in rapt silence as the words were read. I’ve always enjoyed the Hidden Words, but the reading at feast give me a new apparition for that particular book.

At the feast I also received a copy of the latest Baha’i calendar. The new calendar has a photo of the Mansion of Bahji. This is a night scene showing the Mansion lit up. The view is absolutely breath taking. I am looking forward to going on pilgrimage and seeing all the building at Mount Carmel and going to Bahji to see the mansion there. When I go I am going to take a pen and paper journal with me. I have never written a travel journal before, this will be my first travel journal.

Reviewing This Blog

17 Sharaf 162 B.E. - January 15 - 16, 2006 A.D.

Most of my post the last week or so were the result of prompts received from yahoo prompt groups. I am looking for interesting blogs to review in the up coming months. I have looked at other blogs, but so far nothing has aroused my curiosity. Maybe it is just the shortness of the day and lack of sun. I seem to be in a low, I am not really depressed ... I am not sure what the problem is. (I don't think I'm supposed to end a sentence with is.)

Lately this blog seems to be more of a personal diary then anything else, but I want it to be more. The idea when I started was to write my journey of transformation, about becoming my true self. I know that sounds like a personal diary. However, becoming one's true self takes in all aspect of a person's life. This blog has changed a bit since I started it. I am rambling again. There is a lot I want to include in this blog from my own writing to reviews of books, blogs and websites.

Once Upon A Time

15 Sharaf 162 B.E. - January 13 - 14, 2006 A.D.

Once upon a time, I ....

Once upon a time, I began a blog. It is a blog about faith, writing and a butterfly leaving its pupa case. I keep that blog and attempt to write in it each day. I have changed since beginning the blog, my writing has progress and the blog has changed a bit. I am becoming less self conscious about posting an entry. There are still things I need to work on and I still have a tendency toward procrastination. I am becoming more adventurous and out going. Maybe that has to do with getting older, but it also has a lot to do with learning about myself.

Once upon a time, I wrote a sentence without thinking about what I was going to say. I just set down at the computer and began to type. I did not worry about spelling (of course with a computer spelling is not problem because the word processor I use underlines the misspelled words or at least those it thinks are misspelled in red). I can write without worrying about the spelling. Of course with free writing there are things I still have to work on. I have a tendency to back space when I misspell a word. I have cut down on my going back and rewriting but not completely.

Once upon a time, I wrote a paragraph without stopping to read back what I had written this is quite an achievement and I am not bragging there. I found that I can not type fast enough to get down everything I want to say. Maybe someday someone with come up with a machine or something that enters your blog entries, your journal entries at the speed of thought. I still want to go back and change even in the paragraph and sentence I have just written I want to change something, but I am not going to. In fact my fingers are getting tired and I am going to stop typing now.

NOTE: I am attempting to take the prompts I get in a different direction than is obvious. I don't know how well I am succeeding at this point, but we'll see how I do.

Paraskevidekatriaphobia

14 Sharaf 162 B.E. - January 12 - 13, 2006 A.D.

NOTE: Today is one of two Friday the 13ths in 2006. Traditionally Friday the 13th is considered bad luck. I have used this subject as posts in some of the groups I usually post items to, so I am posting all of those in this piece today. If you click on the title of this entry it will take you to another article about Friday the 13th.

Fridays Are

Fridays are Istiqlal (Independence).

Friday’s Prayer

Beloved,
Make me independent of all things save You.
Brining into my life today the beauty of Your love.
Protect me from negative thoughts that draw negative results.

Fridays are the days people tend to be in a better mood.

Fear of Friday the 13th is Paraskevidekatriaphobia. It does not mean bad things. Interesting information about why Friday the 13th is unlucky. (1) Friday was the day Christ was Crucified, (2) There were 13 people at the Last Supper, and (3) every news program on T.V. today has an article about Friday the 13th. Website for Friday the 13th information http://urbanlegends.about.com/cs/historical/a/friday_the_13th.htm.

What’s On Your Mind Jan. 13, 2006

What’s on my mind today is Friday the 13th, Paraskevidekatriaphobia is fear of Friday the 13th. There are two reasons I’m thinking about this subject: (1) it is Friday the 13th and (2) on the news this morning they were discussing the word Paraskevidekatriaphobia. The upshot of the discussion was that they weren’t afraid of Friday the 13th itself, but the word was a different story. The question ask was: “Is there a word for the fear of the word Paraskevidekatriaphobia?

I found the following website with an interesting article on Friday the 13th http://urbanlegends.about.com/cs/historical/a/friday_the_13th.htm.

For those who have Paraskevidekatriaphobia 2006 has two Friday the 13ths.

Now that I’ve gotten that over with, let me go on. My take on this is simply that Friday the 13th isn’t any unluckier or luckier than any other day of the year. If one is afraid of that day, then I would suggest calling into work well or sick or whatever depending on the sense of humor of your boss. I drive in Las Vegas almost every day and the traffic here is interesting to say the least. We get the worst and the best drivers from all over the country and the world. When I get in the car to drive I will not do any different from any other day I drive. After I get into the car I will say a prayer of protection before getting onto the city’s streets.

Paraskevidekatriaphobia

Paraskevidekatriaphobia is the fear of Friday the 13th. I suppose if you are going to have a word for this fear that is as good or better than any. If one isn’t afraid of Friday the 13th itself, the word Paraskevidekatriaphobia will give one fear of the word. Is there a word for fear of a word? (Please note that isn’t my own question, it was asked on the 5 a.m. news when they were discussing the word Paraskevidekatriaphobia.)

Anyway this has gotten me to thinking about superstitions. If you look in a thesaurus for words to replace superstition two of the words you find is false notion (OK, this is two words, but you get the idea) and fallacy. I have found, in my own life, that superstition sometimes results from negative thinking. If you expect something bad to happen something bad happens.

For those who do have Paraskevidekatriaphobia, then consider this. 13 is the numbers 1 and 3. The root number of 13 is 4 the numbers 1 + 3 = 4. So if 13 is unlucky then why isn’t its components and its root number considered unlucky?

Root Number: There are 9 root numbers and those are 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9. Any group of numbers added together will result in one of those 9 numbers.

No, I am not a mathematician; I simply have a reservoir of unusual and intriguing knowledge that will do me good only on a game show or in a novel.

So Far This Week

13 Sharaf 162 B.E. - January 11 - 12, 2006 A.D.

So far this week the various colors of dawn have been breath taking. The dawn color has ranged from light pink to deep red. In fact there are colors of red in the morning sky that are hard to name. The advantage of getting up before the sun is seeing the sun rise. Las Vegas is nestled in the Rocky Mountains. The whole range of mountains around Las Vegas is call the Muddy Mountains. There is the Spring Mountains and others I can not name. Truth is most of the time the names of the mountains do not seem all that important.

So far this week one Hotel Casino has been imploded. That was the Castaways on Boulder Highway. The Castaways or the Old Show Boat has stood next to Boulder Highway for a long time. We watched the implosion on T.V. It was beautiful. It may seem odd to say the destruction of a building was beautiful, but it was a clear and still day. The dust from the building rose slowly into the air and floated through the neighborhood closest to the Castaways. No one was allowed too close so the best view of the destruction was through the lens of a T.V. camera. An intriguing side note to this: Planes coming into the airport used the Show Boat (Castaways) as a land mark - it was call the Show Boat approach.

My Muse

11 Sharaf 162 B.E. - January 9 - 10, 2006 A.D.

My Muse

My muse has many names because my muse is the Divine Essence and the Divine Essence has many names. My muse appears to me in every aspect of life, calls to me from all the Sacred Scriptures of humanity. Speaks to me from the poems, stories and essays of the past and the present. My muse is the sun rising above snow capped peaks. My muse is incense ascending into the still morning air. My muse is wind chimes and voices calling from the minarets. My muse is church bell on a clear Sunday morning. My muse is a jazz song on the radio. My muse is a wolf calling through the forest or across the arctic tundra. My muse is in the food I eat and the air I breath. My muse is the fragrance of a rose or the rose’s throne pricking my finger and drawing blood. My muse is in the genetic code of humanity, that unites the people of earth into a single species. My muse is in the golden rule common to all religions, restated by the founder of every religious faith. My muse is Baha’u’llah, The Bab, Muhammad, Christ, Buddha, Moses Krishna, Zoroaster, and Adam.

Sundays Are

9 Sharaf 162 B.E. - January 8 - 9, 2006 A.D.

Sundays Are

Sundays are the days of Jamal (Beauty). The day that I wake up and realize how beautiful the world is and can be. This is the day of beginnings when the week starts off on a new foot. The day of new births when the door to the future, to the coming week, opens. Sundays are when the week and the planet celebrates its birth day.

Sundays are the days when ending become beginnings. Life moves forward each day merges into the next, each week into the next. There is never any ending or beginning only passages through corridors, doors, garden paths. Life is eternal, each new day brings something new and something old into the life of the individual.

Sundays are the days when we devote to God and the family. Humanity is a single family generated through the love of God. God is a single divine essence with many names.

Sundays are the days of resurrection and of creation. These are the days when many of us can sleep late. Even if we can not sleep late and must go to work we can still worship God through our work because Work done with a joyous attitude is worship of God.

Gratitudes

6 Sharaf 162 B.E. - January 4 - 5, 2006 A.D.

NOTE: This is from a prompt from the Sterling Quill yahoo group. Write about five things you are grateful for today.

Gratitudes

How can I choose just five thing I am grateful for today. The world is full of blessing, God is very generous. (1) I am grateful for the cloud obscured January dawn. If the clouds did decorate the eastern horizon a January dawn would not be as beautiful. (2) I am grateful for the website Belief.net, because it has the scriptures of all religions. It educates the world by giving access the sacred scriptures of humanity to the whole Earth. (3) I am grateful for the prayers revealed by Baha’u’llah, because without them my world would be constrained and I would not attempt to write anything. (4) I am grateful for being born on the planet Earth and in the Milky Way galaxy. Because if I was born anyplace else in the Universe I would be a different person. (5) I am grateful for the test and difficulties I face, because they strengthen my soul and prepare it for flight in paradise.

Differences

5 Sharaf 162 B.E. - January 3 - 4, 2006 A.D.

NOTE: This is a prompt from the yahoo prompt group Sterling Quill: Over the past year, what kind of changes have you noticed in yourself?

Differences

Beloved,

I see the differences in me,
fall awestruck because of your love and tests.

Two years of tests and difficulties
have brought changes,
have transformed the lead of my doubt
into the gold of faith.

The voice of my ego,
my inner critic,
my doubt,
my fear
still echoes through my mind,
but the assurance of Your presence,
of Your love
confirms and strengthens my soul

I am Yours
to do with as You will.

Forgive me
the moments that arise
when past terrors fill my mind,
when future horrors overshadows
Your promises
that I will overcome.

My Biggest Struggle

4 Sharaf 162 B.E. - January 2 - 3, 2006 A.D.

NOTE: This prompt is from the yahoo group Journal Writing. What is the biggest struggle you are facing, write about how you have been coping with that struggle.

My Biggest Struggle

My biggest struggle is against myself. Against the negative voice of my ego’s fear to succeed and submit to the will of God. It is this voice that prevents me from achieving my full potential both spiritually and materially. I find that focusing on Baha’u’llah and the sacred scriptures He and The Bab revealed helps. However, I have learned not to procrastinate chanting and meditating on The Most Great Name. This I need to do of a morning, rather than waiting until afternoon or evening. In addition I need to take The Bab’s admonition and focus on the power of the Lord rather than my own limitations. The struggle goes on, the truth is the struggle never ends. There are periods when I have “passed a test” (so to speak) that there is a respite, but then something else comes up and I find myself faced with another part of the struggle. Somewhere in one of the scriptures it says (paraphrased) that God does not test the soul beyond its capabilities. So I will continue to struggle, pray and meditate and eventually I, with the help of the Lord, I will overcome.

First Day of 2006

2 Sharaf 162 B.E. - December 31, 2005 A.D. - January 1, 2006 A.D.

For much of the world today is a new beginning, but not for everyone. January 1 is not the new year's day I celebrate; I celebrate Naw-Ruz which falls in March. Naw-Ruz is the first day of spring when the sun passes the vernal equinox. Naw-Ruz is the day Baha'u'llah confirmed as the first day of year, so Naw-Ruz is the day I celebrate as the New Year.

I did not stay up late last night, instead I went to bed at about my normal time. My normal bed time is somewhere between 9:00 p.m. and 1:00 a.m. Last night I went to bed at about 10:00 p.m. Just because I do not celebrate January 1 as New Years day does not mean that there are certain customs from my childhood that I do not commemorate. One January 1 custom I always remember is eating Black-Eyed Peas. I eat Black-Eyed Peas in memory of my Grandmother. My Grandma Newland always made Black-Eyed Peas on January 1 so today I will open a can of Black-Eyed Peas and have them with my hamburger or whatever else I decide to have for lunch.

When my Grandma made Black-Eyed Peas she did one of two things. She either made Black-Eyed Peas from scratch or opened a can. When Grandma made Black-Eyed Peas from scratch she got the dry peas about two or three days before and put them to soak on December 31. After the peas had soaked over night and the next morning she began cooking them with a slice of bacon and salt and pepper.