Day Six without Mama

Kamál (Perfection), 12 Qawl (Speech), 169 BE – Tuesday, December 4, 2012 6:30 AM Pacific Time

I count the days Mom has been gone. This is day six without her. This morning I woke up listening for her voice calling my name. Mom’s soul passed into paradise on the morning of Thursday, November 29, 2012. I do not know the precise time, but I do know it was later in the morning.

On the morning of Friday, November 30, 2012, the company that provided them picked up the oxygen compressor, wheelchairs, walker, and hospital bed. Then on Friday afternoon, we planned the funeral, which will occur on Thursday, December 6. Perhaps then, the reality of the situation will hit me.

Day six without Mama, I go through periods of numbness and tears. I wake up at night listening for her voice or for the sound of the oxygen compressor echoing through the house. I wonder what I will do will out her and then I realize that I will survive. My mother survived her birth. My mother gave birth to survivors. I am my mother’s daughter and I will survive.

Day six without Mama and I remember that this will be the first birthday I celebrate without her. I was born on December 24, 1946; on December 24, 2012, I will be 66 years old. I will celebrate my birthday because birthdays are celebrations or commemorations of joyful exuberance or at least without tears. I miss Mama.