Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Sick for two or three days

Fiḍál (Grace), 3 Jamál (Beauty), 170 BE - Tuesday, April 30, 2013 about 10:50 AM Pacific Time

I was sick for two or was it three days, it really does not matter because I am now in recovery. The whole thing started with chills on the April 27. I checked the thermostat and it show 80 degrees. I realized then that the problem was not the house being cold, but that I was sick or coming down with something. The chills lasted until late Sunday or early Monday.

The only thing I wanted to drink for a couple of days was water. When I do not have a desire for coffee that means I am ill. I did not go to the Emergency Room or the Urgent Care because I did not feel I could drive myself safely and I did not think I was sick enough to go to the hospital. I attempted to eat something those days; however, I did not each much and, as a results, I am tired and weak today. I will fix me something to eat today and bake a batch of cornbread.

The only type of bread I have in the house is cornbread mix. I have to build up my strength and energy today because I have two meeting tomorrow. One of the meetings, a Grief Counseling Group, is at 4:00 PM on the East side of Las Vegas. The other meeting, is at 7:00 PM on the West side of Las Vegas. I hope to attend both meetings.

Saturday, April 27, 2013

I am feeling better this morning

Jalál (Glory), 19 Jalál (Glory), 170 BE - Saturday, April 27, 2013 about 7:04 AM Pacific Time

Last night the temperature in the house rose to 82 degrees, but to me it felt like it was 69 or 70 degrees. I  had chills and possibly a fever; however, since I cannot find the thermometer I am not sure about the temperature. I was so cold that I took the wool blanket, which I intended to take to the storage unit and put it over me last night.

I was light headed, an indication that I could not drive myself to the Emergency Room. I did not call an ambulance because I  had no desire to chance clothes because I had no desire to get ready and wait for the Emergency Personnel, so I stayed home and covered up with my wool blanket. I feel better this morning, but I am still not up to driving any place today. I may change my mind later this afternoon, but for now I will remain in the house and attempt to get some work accomplished or at least take a nap.

Friday, April 26, 2013

Coffee Under Ordinary Conditions

Istiqlál (Independence), 18 Jalál (Glory), 170 BE - About 2:32 PM Pacific Daylight Time

A few months ago, one of my doctors ask "How much coffee do you drink a day?" I gave him my standard answer to this question "Under ordinary condition three cups." This is true, I make a full 12-cup carafe of coffee, but normally I only drink three cup that day. The next day I warm up the leftover coffee in the Microwave and drink three more cups. This way I only have to make fresh coffee once or twice a week.

The doctor did not ask me to define ordinary conditions, which is just as well. The reason, is that sometimes I drink four or five cups and, under rare conditions, the entire 12-cup carafe. Today is one of those rare conditions because I have already drank six cups and I will no doubt drink the other three cups before the day is over.

The reason for this over consumption of coffee is simple. I ran out of coffee last week and did not have to money to purchase more. This situation occurs every time I run out of coffee and am unable to purchase it for a week. I have decided the best way to prevent this situation is to purchase coffee on the third or fourth of every month whether I need it or not. That way I have a couple of containers stocked up in case I run short of cash.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Still working on downsizing

Istijlál (Majesty), 17 Jalál (Glory), 170 BE - Thursday, April 25, 2013 about 10:50 AM Pacific Daylight Time

I have six containers of quilt blocks and material pieces out of the house. I have one large empty trunk, which I am going to fill with books from my personal library. I have another large trunk in the dining room that I have to empty, but I do not know what it contains. I am sure it does not contain books because I removed the books in 2007 to store something else inside, but I do not remember what I stored.

I am not sure I will open that trunk today. I have to pull it away from the wall and my back is soar from pulling the trunk with the material into the entrance hall last night. However, my back is not the only  part of me that hurts from the exercise. My osteoarthritis is acting up today, so I think I will fix me something to eat and take one of my pain pills. That will help alleviate the pain, which will make packing the empty trunk I have a little easier.

Downsizing is a slow process, which is not helped by the pain in my back and my knees. It is nice to have the material out of the house. I still have a lot of things to remove, but I think posting on freecycle will make the process of downsizing easier.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

The Procress of De-cluttering

‘Idál (Justice), 16 Jalál (Glory), 170 BE - Wednesday, April 24, 2013 about 1:22 PM Pacific Time

It is difficult to let go. It is difficult to de-clutter. The process of de-cluttering is part of the process of letting go. It is acceptance that life has changed, it is part of the mourning process. My mother had two large containers of material and quilt blocks or material scraps she intended to use to make quilts. She never did get around to making quilts with them. Since I have no intention of making any quilts, I decided to give them away.

I posted the items on Freecycle, I received responses, and I contacted one of the respondents. The person will pick the material up tomorrow morning. I feel so much better now that I have the process of de-cluttering started. I still have several other items to give away, which I will do over the next couple of week. Mom's clothes I will give to local charities, while other things I will post on Freecycle because I am sure someone will want them.

I feel much better now that I have decided to give away some of Mom's craft items. There are other to give away or for me to take with me and finish. I have not decided if I want to keep the items Mom was going to paint (fabric paint) or not. I have to do some research to see if I can afford to purchase the paints or not. I suspect some of Mom's paints are so old that I cannot use them; I'll have to try them out and see.

Monday, April 22, 2013

Earth Day: The Faces of Climate Change

Kamál (Perfection), 14 Jalál (Glory), 170 BE - Monday, April 22, 2013 about 2:47 PM Pacific Daylight Time

Everywhere I look,
I see the faces of climate change.

I see the faces of climate change,
in scorched fields
waiting for rain that will never come.

I see the faces of climate change,
in the eyes of mothers
wondering where they will find food
for their starving children.

I see the faces of climate change,
in dust clouds
of fertile topsoil
blowing across once prosperous
farm land.

I see the faces of climate change,
in the faces of animals
searching for green
in the middle of brown and dying
meadow.

Everywhere I look,
I see the faces of climate change.




Sunday, April 21, 2013

The First Day of Ridvan

Jamál (Beauty), 13 Jalál (Glory), 170 BE - Sunday, April 21, 2013 about 9:05 AM Pacific Daylight Time

It is April 21, the First Day of Ridvan. It is a Holy Day celebrating the Declaration of Bahá’u’lláh. The celebration begin on the evening of Saturday, April 20, at the Baha'i Center. I attended the celebration last night and was so excited that I could not sleep after I returned home. I finally got to sleep sometime this morning and then the alarm woke me up at 4:00 AM so that I could take my thyroid medication.

I turned the alarm off, took my medication, and went back to sleep, but I got up again about 6:00 AM. That time I got up permanently because there was no use going back to sleep. After I got up, I checked the chicken in the refrigerator to see it it was thawed so that I could cook a couple of pieces. I have the leg and thy sections cooking now.

There is something going on at the Baha'i Center this afternoon. I think I will attend, I missed going to Holy Day celebrations and the nineteen-day feast while I was taking care of Mom. I can begin going back to those things now. I know I have a lot of stuff to do here at the house; however, take a break for spiritual matters will energize me to get more accomplished at home.

Friday, April 19, 2013

Positive or Negative Friday

Istiqlál (Independence), 11 Jalál (Glory), 170 BE - Friday, April 19, 2013 about 7:52 AM Pacific Daylight Time

It's Friday morning and I'm attempting to keep the positive attitude I had when I woke up. The blues hit me suddenly like someone lowering a shade in a room. I don't think there is any reason for me to be depressed today. Thursday was a good day, it was a productive day.

On Thursday I completed a 500 plus essay and a 1000 plus short story. I submitted both items before the 8:59 PM Pacific Time Deadline. I picked up my April senior food allotment and received a wonderful surprise. I was given a frozen cut up whole chicken, the chicken remained frozen on the drive home, and I was able to put it in my freezer. I also picked up a free loaf of day old bread, so I can have grilled cheese sandwiches or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches this weekend.

I suppose there are some negatives, I ran out of coffee yesterday, but I still have a lot of tea bags in the house. I enjoy tea, perhaps not as much as coffee, but it will do in a pinch. I could be a bit depressed at the thought of not having coffee; however, I haven't been without it even twenty-four hours. I don't think lack of caffeine is the reason for my slight depression.

I'm not going to worry about the reason now because the depression has passed. My depression always passes when I sit down to write about it. I think it is the positive activity of writing and helps lighten my mind.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Thankful Thursday: April 18, 2013

Istijlál (Majesty), 10 Jalál (Glory), 170 BE - Thursday, April 18, 2013 about 6:57 PM Pacific Daylight Time

Today I am thankful for
  1. The loaf of free day old bread I received today
  2. The jar of peanut butter I received with my senior food allotment today
  3. The frozen whole cut up chicken I received with my senior food allotment today
  4. The jug of cold grape juice I have in the refrigerator
  5. Grilled cheese sandwiches
  6. The 2% carton of milk I received today
  7. The jar of grape jelly I have in the refrigerator
  8. The cool weather we have had in Las Vegas lately
  9. My new senior citizens cell phone
  10. The prayers revealed by Baha'u'llah

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Midweek Reflections on Surveys

‘Idál (Justice), 9 Jalál (Glory), 170 BE - Wednesday, April 17, 2013 about 1:30 PM Pacific Daylight Time

I do surveys in my spare time. I used to do a lot more then I do today, so on Monday I decided to increase the amount I was doing. This morning I was doing surveys and realized that while I enjoy doing a few I do have fun when I do a great deal of them. Therefore, I am unsubscribing to some of the survey groups. I am not sure how many I will exit.

I have already decided on one group to exit, which I will do after I finish this post. I know my response to surveys help businesses and I enjoy responding to the surveys. The problems belonging to so many groups. I joined most of the groups five or ten years ago and I have changed. I want to do something else besides surveys therefore I will limit the amount of surveys I do and my group memberships.

I find that I enjoy writing more then I enjoy answer surveys. I am going to focus more on writing then doing surveys. I find writing a poem fun and challenging. I think that is what I like best about writing the challenge and the feeling after I complete a poem or a short story.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

The heat and the cool air are off

Fiḍál (Grace), 8 Jalál (Glory), 170 BE - Tuesday, April 16, 2013 about 3:50 PM Pacific Daylight Time

I turn the air unit off sometime the last of March or the first of April, I am not precisely sure when I turned it off. The highest temperature has gotten outside is about 88 degrees and the temperature in the house on that day rose to 80 degrees. I think that was last Wednesday or Thursday, this week I think the temperatures were lower.

I hope I can keep the unit off until at least the end of April. I would like to keep it off all through May, but I am not sure that is possible. I will have to listen to the weather forecast closer in May because that is when we begin getting triple digit days here in Las Vegas. I am not looking forward to using air conditioning this summer because of the power bills. I simply cannot afford them any more, so I have to get out of this house as soon as possible.

The problem with moving is finding a place I can afford. There are a lot of senior apartments that I like, but cannot afford. Apparently, everyone thinks if you are a senior citizen you have plenty of money. This is not true, at least in my case. I am going to have to move before it gets too hot here in Las Vegas.

Monday, April 15, 2013

A Hazy Day in Las Vegas

Kamál (Perfection), 7 Jalál (Glory), 170 BE - Monday, April 15, 2013 about 6:20 PM Pacific Daylight Time

The sky is hazy because the wind has blown all day. It is so hazy that I cannot see the blue sky. The wind is still blowing perhaps not as hard as earlier today, but enough to prevent anyone with dust allergies from going outside.

When I listen to the weather earlier they said to expect wind tomorrow. The meteorologist also suggest it may rain, which is all right with me as long as it waits until after I get home or rains before I leave the house. I did not intend to go out tomorrow, but I have to fax one or two papers back east.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

A sleepy Sunday Afternoon

Jamál (Beauty), 6 Jalál (Glory), 170 BE - Sunday, April 14, 2013 about 5:45 PM Pacific Daylight Time

I keep yawning. I'm so sleepy that I want to lay my head on the computer keyboard and go to sleep. I don't know what's wrong because I took a nap about 12:30 PM.  I've finished the coffee leftover from yesterday, so the only thing left to drink is the grape juice in the refrigerator, hot tea, or water.  I think the only tea I have in the house is decaffeinated tea or herb tea. I don't think that is going to keep me awake.

Perhaps, I should just give up and take a nap. When I wake up I can finish printing off the items I need for tomorrow. I'm too sleepy to focus on anything except a nap. I will be so glad when I find an apartment and can purchase a bed. Sleeping on the couch is less painful then on my mattress, but I don't think I'm getting the proper amount of sleep. Maybe being sleepy has more to do with resting then the proper amount of sleep.

I haven't had any dreams I could remember for a couple of weeks. I rest better when I remember my dreams, even if those dreams are confusing. I think I will close this entry, turn off the television, and lay down for another nap. At least, I will after putting the spaghetti I made for lunch in the refrigerator.

Friday, April 12, 2013

Thoughts about my Medication

Istiqlál (Independence), 4 Jalál (Glory), 170 BE - Friday, April 12, 2013 about 8:45 AM Pacific Daylight Time

I found two empty pillboxes today, one is clear so that I can see the tablets I put in and the other is white and I have to open each compartment to see what medication I put inside. The clear box I use for my morning medication and the other I use for my evening prescriptions. My doctor also wants me to take some vitamins or rather minerals for my knees, I believe I need another pillbox for those.

It is easier to remember to take my medication if I have them in pillboxes rather then the prescription bottles. If the tablets are in the daily compartments in the pillboxes then I can look to make sure I took that day's prescription. If I leave all the pills in the bottles then sometimes I forget to take the pills at the proper time or I think I took a pill when I forgot.

I found two of Mom's pillboxes, so I do not have to buy new ones for my vitamins or minerals. I washed the two that belonged to Mom out and when they dry I will put the vitamins and minerals in them. That way, I can carry them with me in my purse so that I can take them if I eat out. If I do not eat out, then I can put the pillboxes close to where I eat and I can remember to take them with my meal.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Is my problem dust or seasonal allergies?

Istijlál (Majesty), 3 Jalál (Glory), 170 BE - Thursday, April 11, 2013 about 5:35 PM Pacific Daylight Time

It's spring and my sinuses are clogged. Of course, I don't have either tissues or medication in the house. At least, I don't think I have any allergy medication in the house. I can't find any in the medicine cabinet or on the coffee table. I'll check in Mom's room or rather the master bedroom to see if I took the bottle in there.

My sinuses weren't clogged until I took everything out of the hall closet, so it could be dust. I still need an over-the-counter allergy medication to take care of it. Unfortunately, purchasing that medication is out of the question for a while. I'm so short on funds that I can't purchase anything until the end of the month.

Having the brakes on the car fixed this month put me in a bind, but they had to be fixed. My Kia is easy on gas, but I still have to be careful how much I drive. At this point, I have exactly $0.09 in pennies, so I can't purchase either tissues or allergy medication. I don't remember taking all the allergy medication; perhaps I can find it somewhere in this house.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Weary Wednesday: Why am I tired today?

‘Idál (Justice), 2 Jalál (Glory), 170 BE - Wednesday, April 10, 2013 about 12:45 PM Pacific Daylight Time

I'm tired and sleepy today, but I'm not sure why. I got as much sleep last night as ever, I woke up every hour on the half hour until the alarm went off. I'm not sure why I set an alarm because I would have woke up at 4:30 AM  without an alarm. Not only am I tired, but for some reason the day is passing slowly and seems extremely long.

I should be used to daylight savings time by now. Apparently, I'm not because the day seems long. I cannot believe it is just 12:45 PM because it seems as if it should be later then that. I shouldn't gripe, the longer the day the more I will accomplish. At least that is the theory; however, theories work better as theories then in real life.

The problem is that when I lay down to take a nap I can't go to sleep. There is no use laying in bed if I can't sleep. I didn't take one of my meds yesterday, so that could be the reason I'm tired. In addition, I didn't eat before I left the house on Tuesday. That could be another reason I'm tired.

I'll have to mix some dry milk so I have something to put on my cereal. That way I can eat something before I leave the house, which I'll have to do either on Thursday or Friday. I'll see if eating before I go out to do business helps.


Tuesday, April 09, 2013

Learning to use my new cell phone

Fiḍál (Grace), 1 Jalál (Glory), 170 BE - Tuesday, April 9, 2013 about 8:55 AM Pacific Daylight Time

I attended the Feast of Glory last night. The host called me to let me know the Feast was scheduled for 7:30 PM instead of 7:00 PM and I realized I had not given him my new phone number. I give the host my new number last night, but this morning I have to call the Baha'i Center to make sure I e-mailed to the Center.

This morning, I am putting my contacts into the new phone. This is a long process because I have thirty or thirty-five contact in the phone's memory. I am not going to put all of them in the new phone because I no longer need to contact people who cared for Mom. Even without transferring all of them it is still a long process.

There is one number, in the old phone that I did not save with a name. I do not remember why the number is in the phone without a name. I know I had a reason at the time I put it in, but I do not remember when or why. I suspect I presumed that I would be able to remember the name and the reason I kept the number. I am not sure whether to call the number to find out who it belongs to or just drop it from my list. I know that from now on I will put names or at least initials with the number I put in my phone's memory.

Monday, April 08, 2013

The Second Monday in April

Kamál (Perfection), 19 Bahá (Splendor), 170 BE - Monday, April 8, 2013 about 2:25 PM Pacific Daylight Time

April is passing swiftly. It is the second week and I feel rushed. I feel as if I have not accomplished anything, but that is not true. I washed the dishes and a load of clothes this morning. This afternoon, even though it is cloudy and rainy in Las Vegas, I washed my hair. Normally I do not like washing my hair on a rainy day because it takes so long to dry. I do not use a blow dryer, I have one, it is in the car.

When I put the blow dryer in the car, I intended to put it in the storage unit; however, I changed my mind because I thought I might use it. I guess I should bring it into the house, the problem is that I do not like to use a blow dryer. I would rather let my hair dry naturally then damage it with the hot air from the dryer.


Sunday, April 07, 2013

The beginning of the Second Week in April 2013

Jamál (Beauty), 18 Bahá (Splendor), 170 BE - Sunday, April 7, 2013 about 8:10 AM Pacific Daylight Time

It is the beginning of the second week in April 2013 and a beautiful day in Las Vegas. The beginning of a new week is always a joyous occasion because the next six day have so much potential for achievement. I have a great deal to accomplish this week because I want to take some items to the storage unit.

Now that the car is safe to drive I can load it with more items. I still do not know how I am going to get the dining room table to the storage unit because it will not fit in the car. I cannot hire a truck this month because my budget is tight. I am still not sure how I am going to pay for the prescription  I have to purchase on Tuesday. I have enough of the tablets to last  until Tuesday and since I cannot skip a dose, I need to turn the prescription in on Monday so that I can pick it up on Tuesday.

I have enough in my checking account to cover the items scheduled to come out this month. Having the car fixed on Friday put a dent in my budget, but it could not be helped. Now the car is safe to drive, but that does not help my April budget. I will have to find the money somewhere because I need the prescription.

Saturday, April 06, 2013

Recyclable Saturday: Learning to accept my physical limitation

Jalál (Glory), 17 Bahá (Splendor), 170 BE - Saturday, April 6, 2013 about 2:25 PM Pacific Daylight Time

This is recyclable day in my neighborhood. This morning I carried three recyclable bins to the curb. Because I missed taking the recyclables out two weeks ago, I had two containers of newspapers. Those were the heaviest and after I finished lugging them to to curb the osteoarthritis in my knees began acting up. I ignored the pain and carried the recyclable bin containing cans and plastic items.

After I came back into the house, I had to fix something to eat so that I could take a pain pill. I take prescription pain medication and I cannot take the tablets without eating. The pain has subsided, but I am stiff and it is difficult to walk. I think I had better start accepting my physical limitations, but I do not want to give up recycling. I take out the recyclables again in two weeks, but I will not have as many newspapers.

Friday, April 05, 2013

The First Friday in April

Istiqlál (Independence), 16 Bahá (Splendor), 170 BE - Friday, April 5, 2013 about 6:10 PM Pacific Daylight Time

It is the first Friday in April, I spent the morning in my mechanic's reception area because of the breaks and a loose bolt in the wheels. I can now drive my car safely, the problem is that I cannot afford go anywhere. I am a little concerned because I just checked my bank account and found out that I may have miscalculated. It is possible I do not have a problem because I have some aluminum cans to sell and some money in the savings I can transfer to the checking account.

I had planned to wait until Monday to sell the cans, but I think I will sell them on Saturday morning. I can sell the aluminum cans and then get to the bank before it closes at 1:00 PM. Since the money I have to deposit I have to go into the bank because the ATM will not accept change. However, that is all right because it will encourage me to get up when the alarm sounds rather then lying in bed.

It is the first Friday in April, I have to stay home the rest of the month because I cannot afford to go out. This could be a good thing, I may be able to get more accomplished around the house. The only issue about staying home is figuring out a menu. I may be eating macaroni and cheese for the rest of the month. That could be a good thing, at least cheese is protein. I guess I could make grilled cheese sandwiches with the bread I have.

Wednesday, April 03, 2013

A Mudgy Memory

‘Idál (Justice), 14 Bahá (Splendor), 170 BE - Wednesday, April 3, 2013 about 5:35 AM Pacific Daylight Time

I am reading The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion. In Chapter 11, Ms Didion writes about her daughter, Quintana, using the word mudgy to refer to her sketchy memory about her stay in a hospital. The word Quintana meant was smudgy, as I was reading I realized that mudgy was a good description of some of my memory issues.

Since November 29, 2012, I have dealt with mudgy memories, memories that seemed to be missing pieces that should be there. I think back to the day, weeks, and months before Mom passed. I try to determine if I encountered the same issues then, but I don't think I did. I think the missing memory sections began after Mom passed.

I am frightened! Mom had Alzheimer's disease and I am afraid that the memory issues may be more the simply the stress of Mom's passing. I am afraid that the memory issues may be a sign of the disease that took Mom's memory. I hope and I pray that my mudgy memory is just a sign of stress and that once I have learned to deal with the stress issues my memory will be back to normal.

Tuesday, April 02, 2013

Overcome the morning blues

Fiḍál (Grace), 13 Bahá (Splendor), 170 BE - Tuesday, April 2, 2013 about 10:20 AM Pacific Daylight Time

I have finally overcome the morning blues; however, it took a bit of work this morning. After saying my morning prayers, reading a scripture verse, composing entries for my writing.com blog, and making an entry in my offline journal I am over the blues. In fact, the rest of the day looks bright.

I still have to fold the towels when I take them out of the dryer. I also have to decide what I am going to eat for the week. I do not have any meat in the house, I think I will make some macaroni or perhaps spaghetti. I still have three cans of spaghetti sauce in the pantry. I also have cheese in the refrigerator, so I could make macaroni and cheese.

The macaroni and cheese sounds better then the spaghetti. I had spaghetti twice last week, perhaps something a bit different this week. I can mix a can of green beans with the macaroni and fix another batch of cornbread. Right now the only type of bread in the house is cornbread; this way I have to fix macaroni and cheese rather then a grilled cheese sandwich.

It is going to be a good day. I have overcome the morning blues. I have the ingredients for my favorite food, macaroni and cheese, in the house. I have a half-empty trashcan in the garage so I can clean out the refrigerator this afternoon.

Monday, April 01, 2013

Insomnia on April Fools Day

Kamál (Perfection), 12 Bahá (Splendor), 170 BE - Monday, April 1, 2013 about 1:05 AM Pacific Daylight Time

It is after midnight on Monday, April 1, 2013 and I cannot sleep. I have insomnia on April Fools Day. For the past two or three hours I have attempted to sleep without any luck. Since I cannot sleep, I may as well bet sitting at the computer, at least here I can accomplish something even if it is only a blog entry.

For two hours I have listened to the wind blow. I heard something rattling on the cement outside my house, so I got up and looked out the door. The wind was blowing an aluminum can across my driveway. I think it was a can, but it could have been some other piece of trash. I did not go outside to see what it was, all I saw was something white blowing across my driveway.

After I decided the aluminum can noise was not something dangerous, I went back to bed and attempted to go to sleep. No luck. I am awake. I cannot go back to sleep. Therefore, I have to do something else to fill the time. I could do dishes. I could do laundry. I could read. I could sit on the couch and watch television. Since I have a writing deadline approaching, I will post this blog entry and then work on the poem I need to finish by April 3.